by Sophie Lark
“That’s fantastic!” Marco said with relief.
Though it wasn’t very windy atop the building, it was definitely cooler than it had been down on the ground, and Anika was sure it would be colder still up in the basket. She wished she’d worn pants.
“You’re not afraid of heights, are you?” Marco asked.
“A little,” Anika confessed. “But I won’t let that stop me.”
“That’s my girl,” Marco said.
They watched the pilot finish his preparations, holding hands in silent wonder. The balloon continued to swell and rise, impossibly vast and full of potential. The basket beneath looked tiny by comparison. When the pilot finally invited them to enter, Anika was alarmed by the simplicity of the basket. It had no restraints, nothing to prevent her falling out. Its edge rose only just above her waist.
She was almost beginning to regret consenting to the flight. As the pilot cast off, she expected an unpleasant jolt, a rise and acceleration like an airplane. But it wasn’t that way at all. Instead it was so gentle and gradual that she wasn’t certain at what point they floated free of the building, and only as she saw it drift away behind them did she realize they had entirely left the high rise behind.
The most frightening part was, paradoxically, when they were still amongst the tops of the skyscrapers. They loomed on either side of the balloon like rocks poking up out of the ocean. But the pilot steered them smoothly upward, and soon they had risen up to a height where the city began to look miniature beneath them, not like a real place far below but like a toy laid out for their amusement. It gleamed with countless streams of colored lights, flowing like liquid through the arteries of the streets. Looking up was even better—the clear black sky contained a multitude of stars, far more visible here than they ever were from within the city.
The pilot pointed out a few landmarks as they passed: the Empire State building, when they were low enough to see it quite clearly, and then when they were higher, he pointed out Trinity Church, the Brooklyn Bridge, and the Statue of Liberty.
Marco put his arm around Anika, resting her head on his shoulder. The pilot tactfully noted their desire to be relatively alone together. He retreated to the corner of his basket, pretending to be busy with his instruments.
“I’ve never seen anything like this,” Anika said.
“I wanted to cheer you up,” Marco said. “I know you were upset about your mother’s earring.”
“Oh, don’t worry about that,” Anika said. “You’ve got enough on your shoulders with Dominic. It’s me who should cheer you up.”
“You do,” Marco said. “You’re the only thing giving me life today.”
He reached into the breast pocket of his suit jacket and pulled something out.
“Maybe this will help,” he said.
For a moment Anika’s heart stopped dead in her chest. She looked at the little box, terrified. But when she opened the lid she saw, nestled in cotton, her sapphire earring.
“Oh my god,” she said. “I can’t believe it.”
“I put in a rush order at Greenwich Street Jewelers. I only had a photograph, but they had the original dimensions still on file, so they said it should match perfectly. You know that’s where your father had it made to begin with.”
In her first surge of joy, Anika didn’t quite understand what he was saying. When she looked more carefully, she realized that the earring was indeed a replica, not the original. The metal was perfectly smooth and bright, without the slightest scratch.
“Oh,” she said. “Thank...thank you.”
“What is it?” Marco said. “Did they get something wrong?”
“No,” she assured him. “It’s just like the one I lost.”
It was, and she knew she was being stupid.
“Thank you so much,” she said again. “It made me so sad to think I couldn’t wear the other one anymore even though I still had it. Now I can wear them again.”
She felt stiff and awkward. She knew she wasn’t responding quite right. Marco didn’t seem to notice, however. In fact, he seemed to be building momentum.
“Good,” he said. “That’s great, I’m so glad you’re happy. Because I have something else for you, Anika. I know this is going to seem completely crazy, but please, just hear me out.”
He reached back into his pocket and pulled out another box, and this time Anika knew for certain what was inside. Marco knelt in front of her to open it up. Inside was a diamond ring. The stone was enormous, cushion cut, utterly flawless, mounted on a delicate band. Anika had never imagined that a ring could have so much weight or intensity. She could hardly look away from it. It thrilled and terrified her.
“I know what you’re thinking,” Marco said. “This is completely insane. But Anika I’ve known since the moment I saw you how much I wanted you. I’d never seen anything so perfect. You’re like a diamond yourself, the way you shine next to your father and sister and everyone else who doesn’t deserve you. But I want to deserve you. I’ll do anything to deserve you.”
She couldn’t speak. She was frozen absolutely still.
“I know it’s fast,” Marco pressed on. “That’s because of my father. He adores you, Anika. It would make him so happy if he could see us married before...before the worst happens. But that’s not why I’m asking you, don’t think that’s the reason. I promise you, this is what I’ve wanted since the moment I laid eyes on you. Please. Please say yes.”
Anika pressed her fingers to her lips as if she could compel speech to come forth by touching them. Her hand was trembling.
A part of her wanted to say yes at once. Who could refuse a man kneeling before them, saying everything a woman could want to hear? Marco looked up with her with those deep green eyes full of entreaty. He was gorgeous, the ring was gorgeous, the evening was unforgettable. This was what he wanted, to sweep her away continually to the most beautiful and exotic experiences that money could buy.
And yet...and yet...
“It’s too fast,” Anika found herself saying. “Marco I’m sorry, it’s too soon...”
Marco stood up. Taking her hand, he pulled her closer, pleading with her.
“Don’t say that,” he begged. “Don’t say no.”
“I’m not… I don’t...”
“Please Anika, at least think about it,” he said. He closed the little velvet box and pressed it into her palm, “Keep the ring, at least for now. You don’t have to wear it yet. Just think about what I’ve said. I can make you happy, Anika, you know I can.”
“I’ll think about it,” she said. “Give me a week to think.”
20
Anika woke the next morning sick with dread. She felt that she had an impossible decision before her, and no matter what she chose, she was sure to regret it.
It reminded her horribly of the choice she had made ten years earlier: the choice between going to California with James and coming back home to New York.
She had chosen wrong back then, she knew that now. She had suffered the consequences of that choice for years. And now, with full irony and awfulness, she had nearly the same decision before her again.
Because alone in her room, in the cold light of the early morning, she knew that she still cared for James. He had been the love of her life, her first love that she had believed with all her soul would also be her last love. Her feelings for him had rooted deep inside of her like a seed that had sent its branches through every part of her body. To try and pull that out of her—she felt that it would tear her apart.
Ten years ago, when choosing between the love of her life and her duty and loyalty to her family, she had chosen the latter. She didn’t want to repeat the same mistake, but on which side of the scale did Marco fall?
Marrying Marco would please her family, and it would cement her place in her father’s business and her mother’s charity. But did Marco also not represent love? After all, he was the one kneeling at her feet with a diamond ring. James had never proposed to her. And he never wo
uld. He hadn’t come back to New York for her. It was only chance that brought them together, against his obvious inclination and his ongoing resentment.
He seemed to have forgiven her lately, that was true. But that didn’t mean he had any kind of feelings for her again. She would be a fool to gamble on it when Marco was here, now, fully committed to her.
And yet...
Anika knew what it was to love somebody with your entire being, to be consumed by them, knitted together with them, to know them more intimately than you know yourself. And the truth was, she didn’t know Marco like that, at least not yet.
Maybe she would, in time. But she knew if she walked any further down that path, she would be cutting James loose forever. She could never move forward with Marco if she was still holding on to a sliver of hope. And James would never forgive her if she turned away from him a second time.
She lay in her bed, in an agony of indecision.
It was only hours later, close to noon, with a dozen missed calls on her phone, that she finally dragged herself out of bed and into work.
She sat at her desk like a zombie, staring at her computer screen without reading a word. Even Hannah hobbled into her office on crutches to ask if she was alright.
“Yes,” Anika said dully, “I’m fine.”
Around one pm, Anika gathered up her purse. Marco was coming to pick her up. They didn’t have time for a full lunch, but he wanted to take her to the cafe around the corner so they could have coffee together at least. He had promised not to press her about the ring.
“I just want to see you,” he said.
As Anika was coming down the stairs, she ran into someone rushing up them. They collided, the other person only stopping her from falling backward by grabbing her by the shoulders.
“Oh! I’m sorry—"
“James!” Anika cried.
She was so surprised to see him that she couldn’t make sense of what was happening. He hadn’t been back to her office since he stopped dating Hannah. The shock of his presence—here, in the flesh, when she’d been thinking about him so constantly—put her utterly off her guard.
“Are you here to see Hannah?” she asked, stupidly.
“No,” James said. He was red in the face, highly agitated. He couldn’t seem to look at her.
“What were you—" she began, but she stopped when he thrust something into her hands.
“Here,” he said, “I found this.”
It was a small packet, wrapped in brown paper. Anika looked at it, not understanding. James was already turning away, going back down the stairs.
“Wait!” she called after him, but he didn’t wait.
She hurried down the stairs, but she was too slow. James was too tall, his stride much longer than hers. She came out into the parking lot only in time to see him getting into his car, slamming the door. In seconds he had pulled out of the lot and driven away.
She would have opened the packet at once, but Marco was already waiting for her, standing outside his car. He likewise looked flushed, not to mention angry.
“What was he doing here?” he demanded of Anika.
Without thinking, she slipped the paper packet into her purse.
“I don’t know,” she answered honestly. “I didn’t know he was coming.”
“Let’s go,” Marco said impatiently. “I haven’t got much time.”
Anika followed him into the car. She badly wanted to understand what was going on, but she couldn’t see any way to accomplish that with Marco sitting right next to her in an agitated state.
They pulled up to the cafe, waited in line to place their order. Once they were alone at their table, Marco said, “I don’t understand why he’s still hanging around. I thought things were over with him and Hannah.”
“They are,” Anika said. “Or I thought they were.”
Marco grabbed her hand, a little too hard. “Is something going on between you two?” he asked quietly.
“Please let go of me,” Anika said.
Marco released her at once.
“I need to go to the bathroom,” Anika said, standing up.
She fled to the ladies’ room, which thankfully was a single room with a locking door. She turned the latch, sitting down on the closed toilet lid. With trembling hands, she took the little paper packet out of her bag. She unwrapped it carefully and upended its contents into her open palm.
It was her mother’s sapphire earring. This time, she knew it at once. It was the real thing, the one that her mother had worn, and Anika had worn to nearly every significant event of their lives.
As she held it in her hand, Anika understood that the replacement Marco had made for her, while lovely, was completely hollow to her. And in that same way, the moments they shared together—the waterfall, the jogs, the dinners, the balloon ride—were somehow also hollow. They were beautiful and perfectly crafted, but they lacked an essential something. Maybe it was history, or maybe it was something more germane to their essence, the difference between sapphire and glass.
By contrast, the few scattered moments she had experienced with James over these past few months, as simple and unglamorous as they may have been—brushing past one another in a dirty pub, waiting at the hospital, standing outside in the rain—each one was electric to her. She could feel every second of it again, the smells, the sounds, the way her heart had pounded and pounded inside of her as if it would burst. They were just chance, unplanned moments, and yet they were everything to her.
When she came out of the bathroom, her latte was waiting for her, along with Marco’s apology.
“Anika, I’m sorry,” he said, taking her hand again, much more gently. “I don’t mean to be a jealous fool. I just can’t stand the thought of losing you.”
He’s so charming, she thought. He always knows just what to say.
But Anika’s preferences had been formed long ago to a different sort of temperament: not always smooth or charming, but warm and open and completely honest.
As they ate, a stiffness lay between them. They could both sense it. Marco was too worried about his father to try to breach the distance between them. Anika couldn’t even muster the desire to try.
She drank her coffee as quickly as she was able without burning herself. She wanted to be alone again at the office.
When Marco dropped her off, she came back upstairs. Hannah was sitting by the window, flipping through a magazine. She must have stopped bossing Calvin around, because he had taken off his headphones so he could eat his lunch more comfortably.
“Was that James’s car in the parking lot?” Hannah asked curiously. “I saw it through the window.”
“Yes,” Anika said, distracted, “he came to drop something off.”
“I thought you were meeting Marco?”
“I was,” Anika said.
“What was James dropping off?” Gwen asked.
“My earring,” Anika pulled it from her bag to show it to them. “He found it.”
“What!?” Gwen exclaimed. “What do you mean?”
“I don’t know,” Anika faltered. “I’m not sure...I suppose he found it after the dinner? Maybe he forgot to tell me until now.”
“No he didn’t,” Calvin said.
Anika looked over at him where he was placidly scooping noodles out of a carton with a pair of disposable wooden chopsticks.
“What did you say?” she asked.
“I said he didn’t find it after the dinner.”
“When did he find it, then?”
“Probably this morning,” Calvin said.
Anika stared at him, completely flummoxed.
“Explain yourself this instant,” Gwen demanded. “Clearly, and using sentences.”
Calvin sighed and put down his noodles.
“He didn’t find it the night of the dinner—I know because I was looking with him. We stayed at the banquet hall until midnight, until they kicked us out. We checked under every table, in the bathrooms, in the kitchens, everywhere. H
e talked to all the staff, he offered them this crazy reward if anyone had seen it—you know, also in case somebody maybe put it in their pocket, so it would make more sense for them just to give it back. But no luck.”
“I didn’t know you did that,” Anika said, deeply touched, “Thank you.”
“Well it didn’t work,” Calvin said. “We couldn’t find it anywhere. So the next day he went back again. He called me to get the number of the guy who runs the bookings, ‘cause he had the keys. James went first thing in the morning and looked everywhere again. He called me a couple times for ideas, I think he was going a bit insane about it.
“So anyway, he decided it had to be in the garbage somewhere. Like maybe it fell on your plate while you were eating and got dumped in the trash or something. So he told the guy he wanted all the garbage bags from that night. And the guy was like, dude, you’re crazy, we have like a hundred garbage bags back there, I dunno which ones are from the dinner. So James said I’m gonna take them all then. And the guy was like I don’t think so, that seems illegal. But probably he just didn’t wanna deal with it.
“So James paid him off, like a bribe, and he got this big truck and he took all the garbage. And then he went through it for like three days straight.”
“Did you help him with that?” Gwen demanded, both fascinated and repulsed.
“Well I helped him get the truck, but I didn’t touch the garbage,” Calvin said. “I mean, I like you, boss, but at that point I thought the earring was gone and also it was disgusting. And plus I was like, isn’t he rich? He should hire a team of people to do this. But like I said, I think he was a bit obsessed at that point.”
The girls just stared at him, dumbfounded. Anika couldn’t wrap her head around what she was hearing.
“So I guess he found it,” Calvin finished up. “Probably this morning, like I said, ‘cause I know he was still looking last night.”
“I can’t believe it,” Anika said.
“That’s insane,” Gwen said.
“Actually, it makes a lot of sense,” Hannah said, nodding. They all turned to stare at her instead of Calvin.