by Elise Jae
Honestly, I don’t care about any of it. I want to go home. I want to be sure she’s safe, and comfortable. To find a way to make sure she’s happy here… and never thinks about going back to Earth.
I barely register that the meeting ends, but Trench comes to stand beside me as the others wrap up.
“Something is going on.” He says it to the glass, and I don’t look at him. “You haven’t insulted me once. I don’t think you’ve ever spoken this little at one of these.”
“I have more important things on my mind.”
His eyes go wide, startled at something I haven’t said. “You want her.”
“You’re one of two people in this room I’d expect to understand how easy it is to fall for one of the Ardem sisters.”
“Have you asked her if she feels the same way?”
“No.”
“You should.”
“I think… she likes all three of us.” There are people who’ve managed it. Margot has mentioned a few bonded pairs who have long time lovers, that live together, and manage despite one of them lacking that bond.
I shake my head, clearing away those muddling thoughts.
“It doesn't matter. If she decides to stay, she’ll have to choose one of us. And it’s not going to be me.” No one ever chooses me. “The day the ship crashed, I was already going to tell Drift I was taking the Paxton Ridge outpost. Whatever Shock, Risk, and I had, it’s broken.”
“Is that why you spend more time out in the snow than you do at home, trying to fix it?”
I glare at Trench’s reflection in the window. “You don’t get to judge my choices.”
“No, but I think you’re an idiot if you’re going to throw away your friendship without at least trying to figure out how to fix it.” Taking a long, deep breath, Trench squares himself toward the window and lets silence reign for a beat. “Living alone in the middle of this wasteland is a punishment. One I wouldn’t wish on anyone. Least of all you.”
That statement grabs me like a hand at the back of my neck. “Was that what you thought before Jessica? That your isolation was a punishment?”
I could count on my hand the number of times I’ve been to his house in the last ten years. I only ever saw him at the meetings and then… I was a complete asshole.
“It was a choice. But not a good one.” His smile is twisted. “You could learn from my mistake, if you want to. But we both know I can’t tell you what to do. And I certainly can’t guess at your motives.”
He pauses then, looking back over the others. “What if she did choose you? Could you stay then?”
“Why would they want me to?” I almost ask why he’s pushing me at Jessica’s sister when we both know she’d rather push me out this window than willingly let me be with Chris.
“Because you’re more like me than you want to admit. I spent a long time convinced I wasn’t wanted—and not just because of my gruesome side job. Don’t make the mistake of looking past the fact that there are at least three people in this room who love you.”
I can’t move as Trench walks away. Can’t do anything but swallow the ugly lump that’s formed in my throat.
I want to turn around, to scream at him, to punch and kick. But when I turn, I can’t do anything, but look at them. From here, it’s like it always was. I’m on the outside, watching from where I’ve been placed. Completely unnecessary.
No one in this room would have a problem continuing their lives without me.
No one in this room actually needs me.
That thought worms its way into my brain on the drive home. It’s still there when Risk opens the door, and Christina hops up from the couch with a worried look on her face.
“How did it go?”
“Better than it might have, worse than I expected.” Risk drops his coat on the table by the door. “But your sisters aren’t behind us with plans to drag you out kicking and screaming if that’s what you’re worried about.”
“It’s not. Are you okay?”
She looks at each of us, but her gaze lands on me, as if she knows.
She's perfect. I know that Shock said it before, but it's true and I can't stop thinking it. How is it possible that she landed in our laps like this.
“I will be.”
She doesn’t look like she believes me. And after a heartbeat passes, she steps up to me, studying my face. But it’s not until she glances at Shock—a warning—that she presses on to her toes, sliding her hands up my neck. But she doesn’t just hug me. She drags Shock into it too. And Risk.
I sink into them as they embrace her… but that’s not quite right.
I’m the one being held.
Five
CHRISTINA
“I was doing some thinking while you were away.” None of them make the joke I’m so used to. “Never a good thing.”
Instead, they finish striping off their too-thin-looking coats, watching me. Waiting. Warily.
It’s go time. No point putting off the inevitable. “I want to stay.”
“I thought we’d already agreed on that.” Shock’s smile is amused because none of them actually understand.
“No, I want to stay, here with you, indefinitely.” I look at Arc. “And I’m not willing to give any of you up.”
“Surely your sister told you the rules of our biology.” He says, his voice quiet, something sad in it. “You can only really have one of us.”
“Screw biology. You don’t have to have that to love someone. And you sure as hell can’t convince me that what I’m feeling is going to go away just because of it.”
Risk has half turned away, he’s smiling at the floor.
The other two look confused, as if they’re working through what I’ve just said. They share a look, and I can’t begin to fathom why they’re fighting the idea.
“Let me stay. We’ll work out the rest when we have to.”
Arc watches me for a moment and I see him make his decision. He pulls me into his arms. “Anything for you.”
Shock nods in agreement, and I don’t need to see if Risk does as well. I know where he stands.
Arc continues to hold me while the other two move about the space, settling back into their nightly routine.
“Do you want me to stay?” I ask it quietly, looking up into his wide, dark eyes.
He hesitates. A flash of pain in the set of his lips. “More than anything.”
“Then why do I feel like you’re fighting this idea?”
He wets his lips, looks up over my head. “Because no one ever chooses me.”
“If that was true, they would have ditched you a long time ago. Hey,” I use one finger on his chin to tip his face back down, to make him look at me. “Maybe you’re too deep inside to see it, but I think they’d die before they’d ever consider abandoning you.”
I’m not sure he believes me. And I’m not sure I care. At some point, he’ll figure it out. And I plan to be there when he does.
Gathering me up, he moves to the couch, and once again we sit close to each other. I’m half on him, half on Shock, and Risk has his arm slung over the back, his fingers twirling a loose strand of my hair.
I don’t really care that they think it’s impossible. I am going to have all of them.
Maybe not tonight. Not in totality, but…. I want something.
They went to battle for me tonight, they took the brunt of my sister’s ire—and I know they were mad.
My champions deserve a reward.
And then, because I know how the other two feel, because I know that even if it bruises Arc’s feelings—just a little bit—this kiss needs to be for Shock.
Fingers dragging up his nape, into his hair, I pull him down to me and kiss him so softly…. His restraint—I felt it earlier—is the reason I chose him.
The evidence of Shock’s enjoyment is written in the bulge of his pants. And the dark look in Arc’s eyes is desire, not something sinister.
Even Risk shifts, uncomfortable with the desire I can�
��t see.
Being with them would be the most dangerous kind of fun…. But this feels more like fate than freedom.
Pulling back, I watch them all, closely, looking for any sign I’m stepping over a line. But none of them tell me to stop, so this time, it’s Arc I drag to me.
His fingers grip, a gentle pressure against my rib cage.
Sex might create a bond between sian mates, but I don’t need that to know how much Arc wants this.
I don’t need the bulge stiffening against my back either.
But drinking him in for too long doesn’t serve my purposes.
When I press gently at his chest, he lets me go… And I look at him for a moment longer before turning my attention to Risk.
He’s quietly, patiently waiting. Always watching.
“Would you like a turn?”
A wicked smile twitches at the corners of his mouth. “Who wouldn’t?”
I have to sit up to reach him, but Shock’s hand at my back helps, pressing me toward him. Holding me so that Risk can snake his hand up the back of my neck to pull me to him.
The kiss is sweet, soft, and makes me long for more.
He’s the one that breaks away from me, but the dark fire in his eyes tells me he’d rather drag me off the others’ laps and into his.
“I want more.”
“You’ve all been to Margot’s, right?”
Shock and Arc nod, but it’s hesitant.
“And while you were there, you had to have gotten blowjobs, yes?”
“Once,” Arc says.
Shock shrugs a shoulder and nods. “A couple.”
“No.”
The other two look at Risk, astonishment coupled with curiosity written in the raise of their brows.
“Never?” Arc asks.
“Nope. I haven’t availed myself of the women who work there at all. I just went to watch the one time, and it wasn’t the… right time.” He pauses as we all look at him. “But I understand the concept.”
Glancing down, I see that their bodies certainly want it, but the rest of them….
I lick my lips, and meet their eyes in turn. “So what do you say? Can I taste you?”
A tiny smile twitches on Arc’s lips and then, he’s helping with the lower buttons of my shirt.
“Do you think this is a good idea?” Shock asks.
“I think it’s a very good idea,” Risk says, and I feel his fingers hook in the waistband of my pajama pants, slowly pulling them down.
“She wants us to share her,” Arc says, meeting Shocks eyes as he slips another button free. “And I don’t know about you, but I’m willing to give her anything and everything she wants.”
And that’s what convinces Shock. Not what I want, but what Arc wants. He’s so protective of him, and Arc can’t see it.
I meet Shock’s eyes as he watches us, and It’s on the tip of my tongue to ask what’s holding him back. To ask why he’s over there when he could be over here, enjoying us.
But when I open my mouth to ask, Arc captures it in a kiss that is so sweet….
I melt into him, even as my abdomen clenches with the way Risk’s fingers caress my skin.
Arc kisses me, and I rise off of his lap as Risk’s mouth plays along my hip. When I pull back from Arc, it’s on a gasp, and I struggle with the hem of his shirt. It’s Shock who manages to get it off over his head, and I press my palms to him. Feel the heat soaking through me.
I want this. I want all of them.
Risk sucks at my nipple and I nearly buck right off the couch.
But Shock’s arms reach under me, and he pulls me away. “Before any of us fall on the floor, we need to relocate.”
He doesn’t wait for the others. Instead, he walks directly to Arc’s room, stripping off my pants as he goes. He sets me gently on the bed, and pulls his shirt off before he sinks down to take over where where Risk left off, and have to drop my head back. I’ve wanted to feel them like this for days.
I barely recognize the sound I make when Shock finally drags his tongue up my pussy.
Arc moves around to the other side of the bed, and I reach for the seal of his pants, tugging it down. Wanting to see all of him.
He pulls them off for me, and I’m left with my mouth watering.
Of course I know what they look like. I don’t know anyone who hasn’t found their way to illicit websites, just to satisfy their curiosity, but in person….
That thick head, the hard ridges. It looks like it would feel perfect inside of me… like if I was able to take every inch of him, I’d feel a kind of fullness I’d never want to give up.
But I know they won’t let me do that tonight.
They’re afraid of something about the bonding… and I don’t think it’s just that I’ll suddenly choose one of them over the others.
But a blowjob won’t force a bonding.
With Arc in one hand, I reach for Risk, wanting to see him too, while Shock feasts.
He doesn’t disappoint.
Working my hand over Arc, I can’t tear my eyes away as Risk frees himself and kicks his pants to the floor. Arc might be the bigger man, but of the two of them….
Risk’s cock is massive.
He walks on his knees across the bed to me and Arc says something I don’t understand, a moment before Risk smiles and—gently—drops his cock on my face.
I laugh with him.
He’s heavy on my face and I can’t help but smile as I move so the soft, hard cock drags across my skin.
“Just think… all of this for little ol’ me.”
I'm not certain I’ll actually be able to manage what I plan to ask for in the near future. But for now...
I take Risk’s cock in hand, stroking him while I press a quick kiss to the tip of Arc’s.
“Since you’ve never had the pleasure of a mouth on your cock, you get the first suck.”
“Damn,” Arc says beside me, and I look up at him as I swirl my tongue around the flared head of Risk’s cock. “Now I wish I would have lied about the one I got.”
“No you don’t.” Shock says from between my thighs.
“No. No I don’t.”
If I didn’t know better, I’d have thought Risk looked scared. When I licked the bottom of his cock, tongue playing over those ridges his eyes roll back, like any other man’s.
I’m on my back, I don’t have the leverage I want for this, so I reluctantly guide Shock’s head away and twist, moving so I have unhindered access to Risk’s enormous cock.
The rumors of the way their skin taste weren’t exaggerated. Another physiological marker of their biological imperative. Or, that’s what my eldest sister would have said.
I grab Arc’s leg to steady myself, and when I’m sure I’m good again, I drag my nails up his thigh, and brush my knuckles down the back of him. Using my now free hand to stroke him.
As soon as I’m able to work back and forth on him without holding him in place, I reach out and take Shock’s cock in hand, stroking him as well.
As if to prove his inexperience, a low curse falls from Risk’s mouth and his fingers tighten on my head as he jerks, his hot, sweet come filling my mouth.
Rumors about the taste were true, and thank God for that. Because it was a struggle to keep up with it. Swallowing as fast as I can, I look up at him, watch his face contort in pleasured pain.
“Saints, Chis.”
I’m still stroking the cocks in my hands, aware that Arc and Shock are here with us. But they don’t push at me to hurry. They don’t try to take me away from him.
They wait their turn. And they’ll be rewarded accordingly.
When Risk’s grip relaxes, I pull back, looking up at him with a smile as I release his cock with a suction pop. “Bet you wish you’d had one before, huh?”
“No. This was a perfect first.” He traces his thumb along my lips and slowly turns my head sliding Arc’s cock across my cheek. Smiling, I capture it in my mouth and Risk releases me. “And I have no intention
of letting it be the last.”
He drops beside me, ducking down to kiss my breasts, to pull one nipple into his mouth.
I want to taste Arc so badly....
Wrapping my hand around his thick shaft, I tip my head further back and guide him to me.
Brushing my lips over him before I part them, touch the tip of my tongue to him, I’ve spent too long wanting this.
As I slide onto him, my eyes fly wide.
My eyes open wide, when a pair of strong hands left my hips, spread my legs, and a tongue licks up my pussy.
I want them. I want all of them.
And I know I can’t have them... yet.
It’s enough to make me moan a sob of a sound against Arc.
The vibration makes his abdomen clench.
Risk’s fingers spear into my hair and I glance at him, letting Arc pop out of my mouth.
I reach for him. He comes to me willingly, and I stroke him, but my concentration so fractured.
Between Shock’s attentions and the taste of Arc’s cock on my tongue….
Arc makes a noise, and I know he’s close. My poor, orgasm starved boys...I knew they’d be quick this first time around, but I hadn’t imagined.
I take Arc back in my mouth. And it’s only a moment or two later that his come fills me. The saccharine sweetness is almost too much, but I manage, and when I pull back, the pleasured pain on his face….
One last spurt shoots over me, and lands on Risk’s stomach. Twisting away, I crawl onto my hands and knees and lick it clean.
“Who’s next?” I look to Shock who’s tightened his grip on my hips.
He shakes his head. “Him first.”
I glance over my shoulder to where Arc sits, watching us.
“Correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe I was told you all come twice each time?”
Risk brushes my hair back. “Yes, but you don’t have to worry about us.”
I smile up at him before I turn my attention back to his cock. “I think I do.”
When my mouth closes over him, he murmurs things I can’t understand, and I’m glad I can’t talk.
A half dozen promises, prayers, and pleadings go through my head.
Hands on my hips move me, reposition me. Cold air brushes over my wet pussy, but only for a moment before the heat of one of their bodies moves close. I long for one of them to slide a beautiful cock inside me, but I, too, must be patient.