When We Fall

by Madeleine Labitan

  Parker runs a hand through his dark hair, his gaze on the ground, frustration stealing his features. "Because when it comes to you, I'm out of my element." When he lifts his head, I stagger back at the raw torment in his eyes. "I shouldn't want you, but I do. Hell, I've always wanted you. And wanting you but not being able to have you, it drives me fucking crazy."

  "Why me?" I ask weakly over the hard hammering in my chest.

  There are handfuls of drop dead gorgeous girls at Holy Oaks Prep, why did he end up wanting me?

  "Why not you?" he shoots back, moving closer, crowding my back against the wall of his front porch, burning me with his gaze. "Why is it hard to believe?"

  I squeeze my eyes shut, wanting some reprieve from the swirling emotions trying to engulf me. Getting closure with Liam. Finding out Parker's feelings for me. It’s all too much. How am I supposed to take everything in?

  With an audible sigh, I open my eyes. "Parker—"

  "You said I make you feel things. What kind of things?" he interrupts, repeating his earlier question.

  Why is he standing so close? I can't think clearly when he's this close. All I can think about is the heat radiating off his body and how his lips are just mere inches from mine. I just have to tilt my head up and we'll kiss.

  His eyes darken. "Don't look at me like that.

  I lick my lips. "Like what?"

  "Like you want me to kiss you."

  I do want him to kiss me. I want his lips on mine with a ferocity I never knew I could feel for someone, least of all for him. But here I am—barely able to keep myself from closing the remaining distance between us.

  What is stopping you?

  "Absolutely nothing," I whisper.

  His brows draw together in confusion. "What—"

  But I don't let him finish. I grab fistfuls of his robe and pull him to me, colliding his lips with mine, silencing his next words.

  I feel him stiffen against me, stunned. But then, his fingers are threading through my hair and angling my face up to his. Suddenly, he's kissing me back, firing up my nerves with an intensity threatening to overwhelm me.

  And I'm right there with him—matching his fervor with my own, letting it consume us both, making my knees go weak in the process.

  And he's there to catch me. His arm wraps around my waist, pulling me closer, anchoring me to him as the kiss goes on and on. And I know that if I fall, he's not going anywhere. He'll be there to catch me.

  "Are you two seriously making out right here in the front porch for everyone to see?"

  Aria's disgusted voice penetrates my kiss-addled brain, making me jump and push Parker off me.

  But he's not letting me go. With an annoyed look on his face, he lifts his head to glare at his sister, while my cheeks heats up in embarrassment.

  I hadn't even thought of the possibility of anyone seeing us. I was too focused on Parker to pay attention to anything else.

  Damn his super talented lips!

  Aria rolls her eyes. "Personally, I don't care. But do you really want Ethan to walk out on the two of you and get grossed out? No offense, Sawyer."

  A faint smile is all the response I can give.

  Parker curses under his breath as his sister turns on her heels and goes back inside. But when he shifts his gaze to me, there isn't a trace of annoyance there. "Want to come up to my room?"

  Does he expect us to pick up where we left off? Am I ready for that?

  He must have seen the panic on my face. His lips pull up on one side. "I just need to take a shower."

  Is that an offer for me to join him?

  "No, it's not. But I won't mind if you do," he says huskily, eyes dark, clearly hearing the question I wasn't supposed to voice out.

  A strangled sound escapes from me, my cheeks burning once again. "I think I can just sit on your bed while you shower."

  Parker lets out an amused chuckle and plants a soft kiss on my lips. Then with a mischievous glint in his eyes, he murmurs seductively, "Then let's go, Peaches. My bed awaits."

  Oh, Lord.

  CHAPTER 22

  Sawyer

  I can't stop smiling. To be honest, I've been permanently smiling ever since I left Parker's house yesterday. My cheeks already hurt from the exertion, but I don't care.

  I'm happy.

  Parker and I spent hours in his room, talking and kissing—and only kissing. I wasn't ready to do more than that. And he knew it without me having to tell him. He'd been a gentleman the whole time, not even so much as tried to cop a feel.

  My intention of not getting into a new relationship sure flew out the window. But are we even in a relationship? I don't know what to call this new development between us. We haven't made things between us official yet. We haven't really talked about where we stand.

  Not that I'm in a hurry to put a label on us or anything. It's only been a day, after all. And we haven't been on a date yet. So, yeah, I'd worry about it later. For now, I'm happy to live in the moment.

  Trying but failing to hide my smile, I sneak a glance at Parker while absently listening to the lecture up front. If Mr. Brown calls my name, I'll surely draw a blank.

  And I blame the guy sitting next to me, who—surprise, surprise—looks completely unaffected. I'm both annoyed and envious at how he can effortlessly be cool and composed most of the time.

  My quiet ogling is interrupted when I feel my phone vibrate in my skirt pocket, almost making me jump. Shooting a cautious glance in the teacher's direction, I take it out to check the message.

  Parker: Do I have dirt on my face?

  I didn't even notice he was texting. And I've been staring at him the whole time.

  Reading his text again, I have to stifle a chuckle. I remember him sarcastically asking me this exact question at his party. We weren't on good terms back then, but we are more than that now. Funny how things have changed in just a short amount of time.

  Me: Yeah, actually. There's something on your cheek.

  I watch in amusement as he self-consciously touches his cheek before realizing that I lied.

  Narrowing his eyes at me, Parker types in a response. I'll get you for that later.

  How? Is he going to spank me?

  Where...Where did that freaking thought come from? When did I start having a dirty mind?

  When you started getting involved with Parker, apparently.

  Parker: Why are you blushing?

  Like I can reply to that.

  Pulling my bottom lip between my teeth, I don't bother with a response. I simply shove my phone back into my pocket and try to focus on the lecture—at least what remains of it. Quinn's just going to have to lend me her notes on it.

  "What were you doing, anyway? Why weren't you paying attention to the lecture?" she pries in between bites of her sandwich when I ask over lunch.

  I'm not ready to tell her and Brayden about this new thing with Parker just yet, so I blurt the only other alibi I can think of. "Liam and I had a talk yesterday."

  Brayden arches a brow. "Do tell."

  I push around the mac and cheese on my plate with my fork. "It was nothing major, but I think I finally had my closure."

  "Elaborate," Quinn demands.

  I blow out a long breath. "I went to the coffeeshop and he saw me there. He said he wasn't angry at me for punching him."

  Quinn snorts. "Please. He totally deserved that punch."

  Brayden nods his agreement.

  I give them a pointed look. "But I still apologized."

  Quinn rolls her eyes but doesn't say anything else.

  "Anyway, he was sorry about what he did. He knew he shouldn't have taunted Parker." I pause, remembering something. "Did you guys know that he was hooking up with Peyton before we got together?"

  Quinn's eyes flare wide. "What? No way."

  Brayden has the opposite reaction. He remains quiet.

  "Brayden?" I prod. "Did you know?"

  He squirms in his seat.

  "Stevenson, I swear to God," Quin
n growls.

  "Christ, Peters, settle down." Brayden rolls his eyes before giving me a sheepish look and admitting, "I did."

  Quinn gasps dramatically.

  I shoot her a look, then frown at him. "How did you find out?"

  "It was by accident. I walked in on them making out in her house. But I left before they could see me. I never even told Peyton. She never knew that I caught them."

  Quinn glowers at him. "And you didn't think to tell us?"

  "First of all, that was like months before Liam and Sawyer even started dating. And I didn't think more of it, considering Peyton was also hooking up with other boys during that time. I thought it wasn't serious." He grimaces at me. "Sorry, S."

  "It's okay. You're right, anyway. It wasn't serious. Liam told me Peyton wasn't ready to be in a relationship. They were really just hooking up."

  Then I proceed to tell them that soon after, Peyton realized how much she liked Liam. But he'd already set his sights on me by then. So she got together with Parker to make him jealous, but it didn't work.

  "You believed what he said?" Quinn's tone is skeptical. "What makes you think he wasn't fucking her on the side the whole time you were together?"

  Because I'd only noticed the change in Liam's demeanor in the last few weeks of our relationship. He and Peyton managed to fool around on us, but I'd like to think Parker and I weren't so stupid not to notice that they'd been cheating on us the entire time.

  But then, what do I really know?

  "Maybe he did. Maybe he didn't. But honestly, does it even matter at this point? We're over and I've already moved on."

  "But does Liam even know that?" Brayden says.

  I nod. "I made myself clear about that. He tried to ask for another chance, but I told him I was done and there was no way I'd change my mind. He accepted it. I mean, he wasn't happy about it, but he respected my decision."

  I leave out the part where Liam brought up Parker. Which had me driving over to Parker's house like a woman on a mission. Which led to the kiss…

  No. That's a story for another day.

  Thankfully, Quinn and Brayden seem satisfied by my answer. They change the subject soon after—specifically, about the next party—and I use their distraction to shift my gaze to Parker.

  He's engaged in a conversation with Giovanni. But then it's like he senses my attention on him. His eyes drift to mine, a small smile curving his lips, making my heart flutter.

  This thing between us is so new, but I'm willing to explore it. I'm willing to see where it will take us.

  I just hope Parker and I are on the same page.

  *******

  Parker is leaning against his car when I step out into the parking lot after the final period ended.

  I don't know if he's waiting for someone—hopefully me—but he looks to be deep in thought. Worry gnaws at me. Did something happen to Dianne again?

  The thought compels me to walk faster. "Is everything okay?" I ask when I reach him, my voice startling him a little.

  "Hey." A smile brightens his beautiful features as if he wasn't just seriously contemplating something.

  "Hey yourself." I'm suddenly feeling shy, my stomach filling with dancing butterflies.

  Should I hug him? Kiss him? Should I even make the first move?

  Parker solves my conundrum when he draws his arms around me, bringing my body flush with his. "Peaches."

  There's so much tenderness in that one word I want to weep. Instead, I lift my head and settle with a dazed smile. "Hmm?"

  Chuckling softly, he dips his head and slants his mouth over mine.

  It starts as an easy kiss, a gentle probing of his lips. But soon, it becomes harder, more insistent that it steals my breath. It makes me dizzy and hot at the same time, all I can do is hold on.

  That pretty much explains my feelings for this boy.

  By the time he pulls back, I'm practically a panting, dazed mess. "What was that for?" I ask, breathless.

  His eyes are hooded as his thumb brushes my bottom lip which, I'm pretty sure, is swollen. "Been waiting to do that all day."

  I let out a goofy smile. "Honestly, the feeling is mutual."

  The sound of female voices and giggles penetrates my euphoric bubble. Without thinking, I step away from his hold and warily glance over my shoulder.

  It's a group of passing sophomore girls. But thankfully, their attention isn't on us.

  With a relieved sigh, I turn back to Parker whose unreadable mask has slid into place. I scramble to explain. "I wasn't—"

  "It's okay. I understand."

  "No. You don't."

  His eyebrows shoot up at my pointed tone.

  I draw in a deep breath. "I'm not ashamed of this." I motion between us. "Of us. I don't even care what everyone will think when they find out. But this thing between us is so new I can't help but feel a little protective of it. I don't want it to be tainted by stupid school gossip at this point. We won't be able to hide it for long—and I'm not saying we should—but for now I just want to be with you without the stress of unwanted attention. Even for just a little while."

  And it's the truth. I know people will make a big deal of it, and I don't care. I already got a taste of it when some girls thought they saw me making out with Parker right here in the parking lot weeks ago. But it quickly died down when they realized it wasn't true.

  This time will be different. The attention will last for more than just a day, so I want to put it off. Because, seriously, who would want to go through that?

  I just hope Parker understands.

  Combing a hand through his hair, he finally mutters a begrudging, "I get it." He heaves a sigh. "And I'm sorry for making the wrong assumption."

  Relieved, I close the distance between us and thread my fingers through his. "I would have probably done the same."

  Squeezing my hand, his lips quirk up in an easy smile, the tension leaving him. "Want to get out of here?"

  I nod happily.

  CHAPTER 23

  Sawyer

  We end up in a restaurant almost an hour away from Holy Oaks. Which means the chances of running into anyone from school are slim to none. I can enjoy my time with Parker without thinking about anything else.

  And I absolutely do, basking in the way he looks at me—like I'm the only one he sees; like his world revolves around me—and how he's always touching me like he can't help himself. But more than that, I use the time to get him to talk. I have some questions that need answers.

  Like why he hadn’t done anything years ago when he realized he liked me. Not that I can say that I’d choose him over Liam. But he could have at least said something.

  He swallows hard and cuts his eyes away from me. "Things were complicated." By things, he probably means his dad leaving. "Besides, Liam made his move. So I backed off."

  “And went after Peyton.”

  "No." He frowns. “She went after me.”

  To make Liam jealous. But I don’t tell him that. He probably knows by now, anyway.

  If Liam hadn’t gone after me—and if Parker hadn't been saddled with a huge responsibility at an early age and decided to pursue me—I wonder if I would have given Parker a chance. But then, maybe I would’ve gotten together with Parker regardless of Liam’s actions.

  And maybe Peyton and I would’ve still been the best of friends. She probably wouldn’t have even thought of betraying me.

  But I shouldn’t dwell on what-ifs and what-could-have-beens. I'm just going to drive myself crazy thinking about those alternate realities. And I’ve already put all the Liam and Peyton-related drama behind me, haven't I? Obsessing over it a second time is simply counterproductive.

  What matters is the present and my current reality, and I should focus on that.

  “What’s on your mind, Peaches?” Parker prods.

  “Nothing important,” I say, sipping on my banana milkshake. “So, um, when did you start having feelings for me?”

  I didn't intend to ask the ques
tion, it just popped out. But now that I've voiced it out, I realize I want to know the answer.

  "Freshman year."

  My eyes grow wide. "That long?"

  He nods.

  "Wow." I swallow. "I don't know what to say."

  He just shrugs, as if he didn't just steal the breath from my lungs with his admission.

  It was one thing coming from Liam, but another thing entirely to hear it from Parker himself. Knowing that he wanted me basically from the start makes me feel—as cliché as it sounds—the most beautiful girl in the world in this very moment. This guy—who would have thought he'd be good for my ego?

  With a light heart, I continue with my questioning. Not to pry about his feelings for me anymore, but to get to know him better.

  I ask about his hobbies and interests—his favorite books, movies and music—and it's starting to feel like we're on a planned date and not just a spontaneous decision of going some place to eat. Not that I'm complaining.

  Parker, being Parker, doesn't look comfortable opening up and talking about himself. But he still answers every question I have for him. Knowing that he's doing it to indulge me makes my heart swell even more.

  We stay in the restaurant for another hour before deciding to head back to town. Since we drove in our respective cars, we part ways in the parking lot, where Parker gives me a long, languid kiss goodbye that only has me craving for more. I'm beginning to think that I'm getting addicted to his kisses. Again, no complaints here.

  I'm already on the road when my phone rings through the speakers, interrupting the song currently playing. A quick glance at the caller ID lets me know it's Quinn.

  "Hey," I greet.

  "Where are you?"

  "In my room, doing homework." I regret the lie the second I uttered it.

  I could have just told her I went out to run some errands. What if she decides to barge into my house at this very minute? She won't find me there.

  Besides, I hate that I've been lying a lot to Quinn lately. I feel like such a bad friend. I need to tell her everything soon.