by Taryn Belle
Once again, Kiki felt paralyzed by his words. How could he know that she’d never allowed herself to feel cheated? That she’d always filed the whole thing away in her mind as a character-building experience that she had no right to whine about? And he was still looking into her eyes so intently she wanted to squirm. “Do you think it would have been better if she’d stayed?” he asked gently.
Kiki shook her head. “I’ve asked myself that question so many times, but I guess I don’t have enough information to base an answer on.” She paused, wishing she had something to occupy her hands—if not a drink, at least a cocktail napkin to rip up. But there was nothing to hide behind at this table, no protection. Only Dev’s aqua eyes, the promise of a safe haven that she instinctively knew she could trust. She opened her mouth and let her story out. “That morning, I... I remember she insisted I wear my favorite outfit. A pink dress with a big gold heart on it. I didn’t get new clothes very often, but I’d begged her for that one. After that, I don’t remember what she made me for breakfast. I don’t remember her...saying goodbye to me.”
Put your shoes on, angel.
Those were the last words Kiki could remember her mother saying to her. Just an everyday instruction, but given softly, without the usual impatience Kiki was accustomed to. Did her mother know that her daughter had spent the past twenty-four years wondering if there was any meaning in those last words, that last clothing choice, that last hug? Wondering if they contained any evidence as to why she’d left her?
Kiki’s eyes blurred over with tears. She brought her fingers up to stem them, breathing deeply. “She used to call me ‘angel.’” Her voice caught in her throat. “But...she was depressed. I know that much. Not always, but before she left it seemed like she was always angry. But I still...loved her so much.” Kiki took a steadying breath. “I think she planned to leave that day. That’s why she wanted me to wear that outfit. I think she wanted me to think of her each time I wore it.”
Dev wiped a tear away. “When did you know she wasn’t coming back?”
Kiki’s amarone had arrived, so she picked the glass up gratefully and took a sip. “After school. My mother had arranged for a friend’s mom to take me until five o’clock that day. When six o’clock rolled around and she still hadn’t shown up, the mom took me home to my father. I think—I knew the minute I walked in the door there was something wrong. He didn’t look surprised. My mother was never late, so he should have been, but it was almost like he was expecting it.” Kiki’s nose was running now—God, no—but if Dev noticed, he didn’t seem to care. He was sitting forward in his chair, absorbing every one of her words as if there were no one else in the room.
“And does he know why she left?”
“No. At least—he may have had his suspicions, but he never shared them with me. And I respect that so much, that he didn’t want to ruin what few memories I have of her.”
“But you never saw her again.”
“No. Never.” Kiki reached for her wine and swallowed a large gulp.
Dev finally leaned back in his chair, his expression thoughtful. “So you never found out why,” he stated slowly. “And you’ve spent your whole life wondering.”
“Yes.”
“It’s left a huge hole in your life. In you. I can’t imagine what that must feel like.”
Kiki placed her glass on the table. Her eyes flooded with tears again, but she made no move to wipe them away. So this was it, she thought—this was what it felt like to share your burden with someone who really cared. Sure, she’d told Jack about it and he’d said all the right things, but she’d just been reciting the facts. Leaving the conversation feeling as emotionally impacted as if she’d told him what she’d eaten for lunch that day. But now, as Dev circled a protective arm around her neck, she felt ripped wide-open in a way that was perfectly right. As if there was a precious gem at the bottom of her pain, and all she had to do to claim it was allow her heartache to fill her.
Right in the middle of a Venetian restaurant, with the rock star god of her dreams sitting across from her. It was fucking crazy.
Dev lifted her hand to his mouth and gave it a long kiss. His lips were warm and dry, but still so sensual. “I will tell you one thing for sure, Strawberry. She’s missing out on so much.”
Kiki’s tears were still there, blurring her vision and barely contained. I may have found her. In Sydney, she nearly blurted out, but thankfully she had enough good sense left to stop herself. Telling Dev that part wasn’t an option. If Victoria O’Hare didn’t turn out to be her mother then no damage would be done, but what if she did—and what if she told Kiki she wanted nothing to do with her? Being rejected by her yet again would sting, but reporting that fact back to Dev was an admission so ugly Kiki hardly dared contemplate it. He would be forced to look at her differently, in the same worthless light that both her mother and her ex-husband cast her in.
Dev was still holding her hand. “Kiki?”
“Yeah, rock star?”
“Thank you.”
Thank you. For telling him her sad story, for dumping her huge burden on him. He was so damned different from any man Kiki had ever known.
“You’re welcome,” she said quickly just before their plates were placed before them, breaking the precious moment. Kiki breathed a silent sigh of relief. What just happened may have been magical in its own way, but she was more than ready to get back to the fantasy.
Giorgio swept in after the waiter left. “I hope you enjoy, Mr. Stone,” he said, flourishing toward their plates.
“Thank you.”
The man clasped his hands together. “And please to not make obligation for you, but the invitation...” He gestured toward the piano. “It is always open.”
Dev grinned. “Thank you, Giorgio, but I think your crowd might be a little rowdy for me.”
The man’s face fell slightly, but he gave a bow as he stepped away. “As you wish.”
Kiki looked at Dev in wonder. “Wait. Do you mean to tell me you play the piano, too?”
“Hardly,” Dev responded. “I use real pianists in the studio.”
“But you can carry a tune.”
“I guess so—”
“Then oh, my God, I want to hear it!”
“But—”
“No buts. You said yourself you miss smaller venues.” Kiki gave him a devilish grin. “I promise to make it worth your while.” She batted her eyelashes at him playfully, but instead of relenting as she’d expected him to, he just reached for his water. He took a sip and set it down.
“Another time, okay?”
“It’s just that I’d love to see—”
He cut her sentence off by leaning forward and kissing her. God, but he had a way of silencing her with his body—not that she was complaining. As his tongue slid against hers, he slipped his hand up her dress and applied firm pressure right where it counted. “It’s been twenty-two hours since I’ve been inside you, and I’m about fucking ready to combust. We’re not staying here a minute longer than we have to.”
CHAPTER NINE
THE OUTSIDE OF the grand palazzo was breathtaking from the water, but it was nothing compared to the interior. For their night together Dev had chosen The Aman Canal Grande Hotel, the stuff of sixteenth-century dreams. As Dev climbed the stairs to their room with his arm wrapped firmly around Kiki’s waist, he took in the intricate architecture, the silk-covered walls and crystal chandeliers the size of small cars.
He opened the door to their room with a flourish, smiling as he watched Kiki enter and spin around in wonder. On their left was a graceful carved fireplace, on their right a luxurious bathroom big enough to hold an armchair and settee, and above it all was a domed ceiling painted with angels. Bouquets of fresh flowers sat on the bedside tables, the desk and the bathroom vanity. The four-poster king bed was the centerpiece of the room, made up with a gray velvet d
uvet and a mountain of charcoal and white pillows.
“It’s incredible,” Kiki breathed. “Like a fantasy.”
“You’re the fantasy,” Dev said. Pushing an arm behind her back, he pulled her to him tightly by the waist. Her mouth eagerly reached for his as she pressed into him unrelentingly, as if she could meld their two bodies into one. His need for her was consuming, but where it had once been for her lips, her body, her hot pussy, now it was for so much more. This woman was a fascinating study in contrasts that he’d never experienced. Organized and logical with endearing scatterbrained moments and a tough-talking sense of humor he couldn’t get enough of. At the same time she built up his sexual energy to a fever pitch, she also calmed his soul like a soothing caress. And her fragile frame belied the incredible strength of her interior. She’d given him a window into the reason for that tonight, and now that it had been opened he wanted everything.
“You promised to get this dress off me,” Kiki whispered into his mouth.
“I also promised to take it slowly.”
As Dev turned her around to unzip her, he tried to bury his regret in the soft feel of her skin under his hand, the spicy floral scent of her. She’d opened up to him, and he should have done the same. He’d had the perfect opportunity at the restaurant—he could have told her about his first piano recital, that spring day when he was nine years old that he could trace back to the root of his anxiety. But it was so damned hard to let go of being Dev Stone, the guy who’d been born for the stage. That’s what everyone thought about him, what Kiki believed, too, and he’d never let that image slip for any woman. He sensed that with Kiki he eventually would, but not yet. For now he still wanted to keep the persona intact. Confident and assured, commanding, powerful. These were the adjectives he’d built his career on, the ones that burned at the very core of his being.
Still balanced on her sexy heels, Kiki’s dress dropped to the floor to expose her lingerie. Dev’s cock, which he’d been making a steady effort to control all day, surged to life. He wrapped his arms around her from behind, murmuring into her neck as he captured a breast with one hand and her pussy with the other. “You’re so beautiful and sexy you’ve got my fucking head spinning. All I want to do is lock you away and make you mine.”
“Dev...” Her chest heaved as she tipped her head back into him, pressing his hands tighter to her with her own. “You’re too perfect. It terrifies me,” she whispered.
“I am not perfect,” he whispered back, grasping her wrists to turn her toward him. “But we are perfect together.”
Her eyes hooked onto his. “I know.” He kissed her deeply, loving the wine-chocolate taste of her, almost frustrated by the limitations of his mouth to express his true yearning for her.
She reached for his shirt buttons and got the garment open, and then she slid her hands around his waist. “Take your pants off,” she said, pushing his shirt to the floor.
Dev obeyed, tossing them aside. She looked down at the tented front of his boxers and back up at him, her pupils dilated with desire. Slowly, she worked her hands into his underwear and slid them down his hips, freeing the part of him that had been dying for her touch all day.
“The most beautiful cock ever. Award winning,” she said, stroking him firmly. He shuddered as he focused on control. Slowly. It was so hard, but they both needed it. A chance to finally explore each other’s bodies without a time limit or a screaming sense of urgency that pushed both of them to their physical limits. Dev knew there would be plenty more of that to come. “Would you be okay with me blowing your mind?” Kiki asked, looking up at him with those big, innocent eyes.
Dev’s cock jerked in her hand. All that hot experience combined with that doll-like face—it was too much. “I could definitely handle that. But...”
“I know,” she said, already trailing kisses down his torso as she lowered herself to the floor. “I’m so tiny. But I can handle you, believe me.” Giving him a sweet smile, she grasped his cock firmly and swirled her tongue around his head. The sight of her on her knees, still wearing her heels and lingerie, was almost his undoing.
Dev planted his feet, feeling his balls pull in tightly. Kiki brought her hand up to cup them, and then she started licking and sucking his entire shaft with alternating pressure. He let out a low growl and started a restrained pumping into her mouth. It felt incredible, but he was still afraid of hurting her.
She reached for one of his hands, placed it firmly on the back of her neck and looked up at him. “I’ve felt you fuck me hard, Dev, and it doesn’t feel like this. It feels like you’re driving into me like it’s the last fuck of your life. I want the same thing from you right now. Don’t hold back.”
He pulled a strand of her beautiful hair up and wrapped it around his shaft. Just the thought of fucking her mouth with abandon was bringing him closer to the edge. “It feels so good. I just... I don’t want to hurt you.”
She gave him a sassy grin. “Then let me surprise you. Oh, and, Dev?”
“Yeah?”
“Come in my mouth. I’m dying to taste you.”
Dev’s eyes widened. Those dirty words coming from that sweet mouth released something savage in him. Keeping one hand at the back of her neck, he brought the other to the side of her head and started moving, faster this time. His hands wound tighter into her hair as his breath became increasingly labored. “So good,” he gasped. “Fucking amazing.”
As Kiki still held his cock with one hand, Dev felt her grab his ass with the other to make him move even faster. He was gasping for breath now, the sound filling the silent room as his desire raised him to a place so heavenly that it brought goose bumps to his skin. He needed this so badly. He needed her so badly. With a final driving thrust and a loud curse, he emptied everything into her—all of his longing and hopes and failures, the very man he’d been before her and never wanted to be again. In that moment his mind opened along with his body, and all he saw was her face.
* * *
In Kiki’s dream, Dev wasn’t fucking her. He was making love to her, moving inside her, behind her, with one finger massaging her clit with perfect strokes. As the heat within her built, she heard him whispering to her, “There’s no one else. Only you. I never want to be without you.”
She was awake. The bedside lamp burned dimly beside the bed, which was still piled high with charcoal pillows. A low gas flame flickered in the gracefully carved fireplace. Kiki was lying on her side, and Dev was behind her with his cock deep inside her. She moaned as she realized her dream had turned to reality, that the intense passion building at her center was real and not imagined. She reached her arms over her head to sink her hands into his soft hair. His face nuzzled into her, and then, without missing a stroke, he rolled her onto her front so he was lying on her back. She spread-eagled her legs.
“I was having such a good dream. But this is even better,” she sighed, loving the heavy feel of him on top of her.
“Oh, yeah? Did you get wet in your dream? Because I woke up hard for you, and you were ready for me.”
“I’m permanently ready with you around.”
“What were you dreaming about?”
She turned her face to the side so she could see him looming over her. They were still in Venice, which meant the fantasy wasn’t over yet. She could still pretend that this was her life, that she could actually have a future with a man as wonderful as Dev.
That they could fall in love.
So dangerous, the thoughts she was having. But Dev was too amazing not to become addicted to, like a potion that had put a spell on her. “You,” she answered simply.
He breathed the words into her ear, sending a shiver down her spine. “I’m not a dream. I’m real, and I’m yours.” And then, before she could reply, he was pushing her hips into the mattress forcefully while he drove into her. The abrupt change in pace brought a cry of pleasure to her lips, and within se
conds the pressure of the mattress on her clit did her in. She spiraled up, up, up, verbalizing her ecstasy in a long moan before she crashed back down again, filled with every sweet and wonderful part of him.
God, but she was in so much fucking trouble.
CHAPTER TEN
CHICKEN MARBELLA, MASHED POTATOES and green beans on the table. Crème brûlée on the counter, ready to be finished off after dinner with the small torch she’d borrowed from catering.
Kiki happily surveyed the results of her efforts as she heard the treadmill winding down at the other end of the bus. Dev was finished with his workout, and after a quick shower they would sit down for yet another of her home-cooked meals.
Over the past week, she and Dev had fallen into a routine that broke all of her rules with its undertones of coupledom and domestic bliss. On the way from Venice to Rome, Dev had asked her to stay in his bus with him for the remainder of the tour, and the rest of the crew had even treated her as if nothing was amiss, likely too intimidated by their boss to do otherwise. During the mornings she and Dev worked side by side on the bus, with him stroking her thigh as she tooled on her laptop or covering his phone to kiss her while he was on a call. After that they either spent the travel time in a state of fevered lust or, if it wasn’t a travel day, went their separate ways for a while and came together again for dinner, conversation and sex before Dev’s show. Each day was finished off with a final round of passion and another night spent entwined together on the bed he’d bought just for her. It was heaven, perfect, better than anything she ever could have dreamed of.
Each day of this is just bringing you both closer to disaster and heartbreak, the voice at the back of her head kept reminding her. And yet here she was yet again, successfully blocking it out.
Dev came out of the bathroom wearing a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt. Kiki couldn’t help but stare as he pulled up a chair and grinned at her offerings. Even dressed completely down, he was the epitome of sexy. “You’ve outdone yourself again,” Dev said as he circled his left arm backward.