by Sydney Logan
Her list of pros and cons began to swim on the page. Blinking back tears, she realized she’d left something off the list.
Macy needs a home.
She wrote it down.
And those four words made everything else on the list completely disappear.
* * *
It was late when Melody finally emerged from her room. She found her parents at the kitchen table, laughing over something they’d read in the paper. Their laughter faded when they saw their daughter walk into the room.
“I’m sorry, Mom.”
Sharon sighed. “Apology accepted. I’m sorry, too. You were right. I was doing a little matchmaking. That was wrong of me.”
“It’s okay.”
Melody sat down next to her dad. John folded the newspaper and set it aside.
“Mel, I’ve told your mother that we need to focus on one thing at a time here. Believe it or not, there is something more important than your love life that we need to deal with.”
She nodded. “Macy. I know. I’ve made a decision. Sort of.”
Her parents’ eyes grew wide.
“I want to see her.”
Sharon jumped to her feet. “Oh! I think I have a picture—”
“No, I need to see her. To meet her. I can’t make a decision like this without at least meeting her, right? I mean, what if she hates me? What if I say yes and she hates me and . . .”
Melody stopped rambling and focused on her parents. Silence filled the room, but she could read their faces. Especially her mom’s. Sharon’s eyes were filled with an emotion that could only be described as pure joy.
“I need to hold her. At least once. Right?”
John cleared his throat. “Of course, Mel. Of course you do.”
“I can call Troy,” Sharon said softly. “We’ll set it up. For whenever you’re ready.”
Melody took a deep breath.
“I’m ready. Let’s call him.”
Chapter 5
“Sweet Pea,” her dad said softly, “you’re making me nervous. Sit down and eat your breakfast.”
Sharon nodded. “Your eggs are getting cold. Come eat, honey.”
Melody ignored her parents and nervously paced the length of the kitchen. Granted, it wasn’t much of a journey. Left and right. Back and forth. But she couldn’t sit still, and she certainly couldn’t eat scrambled eggs and greasy bacon. Not with her stomach in knots.
Her mom exhaled a noisy sigh, and Melody’s patience finally snapped.
“I’m sorry if I’m disappointing you, but I’m getting ready to make the biggest decision of my life, so forgive me if food is the last thing on my mind.”
“You didn’t touch your dinner last night.”
“I’m well aware.”
“You need to eat, Melody.”
“I’ll eat later.”
Her dad, always the peacekeeper, patted his wife’s hand.
“Sweetheart, I think she’s old enough to decide if she wants to eat. She’s a grown woman.”
“Fine,” Sharon said quietly. Then she smiled. “Oh, it will be so nice having a baby in the house again.”
Melody glared at her mother.
“Even if it’s just for a short visit,” she added quickly.
Melody rolled her eyes and continued pacing. The only baby she’d ever held was Claire’s newborn. It hadn’t been a terrible experience. She smelled like baby powder and slept a lot.
Do babies just naturally smell good? Will Macy sleep all the time?
Does she crawl? Walk? Talk?
She was on the verge of a nervous breakdown when they heard a car door slam.
Melody’s already thundering heart shifted into overdrive.
Sharon raced toward the counter, and Melody watched with wide, frightened eyes as her mom started a fresh pot of coffee. Gazing intently, she stared as her mom scooped grounds into the filter. Melody almost laughed. Never had she been more interested in the mechanics of coffee-making.
“We’ll just let that brew,” Sharon said. “Why don’t we go into the living room? Everyone will be more comfortable in there, don’t you think? John, you’ll get the door?”
Her father nodded, and Melody numbly followed her mom into the living room. As she sat down on the sofa, it really hit her.
Her life—one way or another—was about to change forever.
What if she hates me?
It was possible. Melody knew she was a pretty selfish person. She loved her guitar more than life, and—with the exception of the No Bride’s Club—she had a bad habit of pushing people away. She had a short temper, and she liked things organized and clean. She was a workaholic, and when she did manage to eat, it was almost always take-out.
I can’t do this.
Before the words slipped from her lips, she heard voices coming from the kitchen.
Melody reached for her mom’s hand.
“Breathe, honey,” Sharon said gently. “Don’t worry. You’ll know.”
“I’ll know? What does that mean?”
“As soon as you see her, I think you’ll know in your heart what you want to do, and we will support whatever decision you make.”
“Even if I say no?”
“Even if you say no.”
Just then, the attorney walked into the living room. Troy smiled at the two women sitting on the sofa.
“Good morning, Sharon,” he said with a nod. “Melody.”
Her mom immediately went into hostess mode while Melody stared at the woman standing in the doorway. She was tall, with long black hair and sky-high heels that matched her cranberry suit.
And in her arms was the prettiest baby Melody had ever seen.
Truthfully, she wasn’t really a baby. Not like Claire’s little girl who barely opened her eyes. Macy was bright-eyed and chewing on something that looked like a tiny giraffe.
“Melody, this is Macy’s social worker, Kim Landry.”
Melody’s gaze swept over the little girl in the woman’s arms. Macy’s brown, pig-tailed hair was nearly the same shade as Melody’s, but with a lot more curl. Her yellow shirt had a bright sunshine embroidered on it, and her little jeans and sneakers were quite possibly the cutest things ever.
She was also slobbering all over Kim’s designer suit.
“Is that normal?” Melody asked, pointing at the drool.
“She’s teething,” Kim said.
Melody nodded as if that made perfect sense.
“It’s very nice to meet you, Melody.”
Sharon gently nudged her daughter’s shoulder, and Melody finally tore her eyes away from the baby.
“It’s nice to meet you, too.”
Oblivious to the anxiety in the room, Macy reached out, offering Melody her drool-covered teething ring. Melody took it without hesitation.
“Thanks.”
The little girl gurgled and smiled, and Melody felt her heart race just a little faster.
“Is she always this happy?” Melody asked. “I mean, she seems happy.”
“During the day, yes. The nights have been hard, as you can imagine.”
The nights are hard because her mom’s gone.
Melody could feel the heat of everyone’s gaze, but they were easy to ignore. The only eyes that mattered were big and brown and staring right at her.
Macy stretched out her arms.
Melody froze. She honestly had no idea what to do.
“I think she wants you,” Kim said.
She wants me? Maybe she just wants her giraffe.
“Here you go.” Melody offered the little girl the teething ring.
Smiling brightly, she grabbed it with her tiny fingers and promptly tossed it onto the floor. Once again, her outstretched arms reached for Melody.
“It’s now or never, Sweet Pea,” John said gently.
Taking a deep breath, Melody reached for the little girl. Macy wiggled into her arms and snuggled into her lap.
“Do I have to support her head? I have to do that with my f
riend’s baby—”
“No, she can hold it up all by herself,” Kim replied, her tone quiet and patient as she handed the baby the teething ring. “You’re doing great.”
Her heart pounded as she watched Macy nibble on the giraffe.
Melody closed her eyes and nuzzled the little girl’s hair.
Baby powder.
“She loves books. Loves music,” Kim said. “She likes to chew on everything, especially now that she’s teething. She has one on top and one along the bottom that’s trying to work its way through.”
The social worker kept talking. Melody was sure it was all valuable information, but it was like white noise. All she could focus on was the beautiful little girl in her lap. A little girl with no mother. No father. No brothers or sisters. She was cute and sweet, and except for Melody and her parents, she was all alone in this great big world.
Hours passed. Melody lost count of how many. During that time, her parents and Troy talked about the legalities, while Kim and Melody talked about the baby. Eventually, Sharon offered to make them all some lunch. When everyone headed to the kitchen, Melody and Macy stayed on the couch.
“I’d just like some time alone with her, if that’s okay.”
Kim nodded. “Absolutely. Take all the time you’d like.”
Melody’s parents smiled at her in encouragement before leading everyone into the kitchen. As soon as they were alone, she gazed down into Macy’s big brown eyes.
“Just you and me, kid.”
Macy gurgled and cooed when Melody moved them down to the floor. The little girl immediately rolled onto her hands and knees. She didn’t walk yet, according to Kim, but the kid could definitely crawl. Sharon had tried to baby-proof the room as much as possible, but Macy immediately discovered all the things she shouldn’t. John’s dusty shoes. Sharon’s knitting basket.
Maybe the floor was a bad idea.
Melody followed her around, moving the fun stuff out of reach. When she finally settled back down on the rug, Macy crawled closer, jabbering happily and maneuvering her way into Melody’s lap once again. The little girl smiled and placed each of her tiny hands against Melody’s cheeks.
“You’re so pretty,” Melody whispered.
The baby giggled, and the sound pierced Melody’s heart. On a whim, she fished her phone out of her back pocket and took a picture of the little girl. Then, she took a selfie of the two of them together.
“Well, you certainly don’t need a filter,” Melody said with a chuckle as she gazed at the screen. “I, on the other hand, could use a little concealer.”
She placed her phone back in her pocket before staring at the little girl in her arms.
“I could really screw this up. There’s a very good chance I’ll do something wrong. Actually, it’s a certainty. I’ll put your diaper on backwards, or I’ll lose your favorite blanket.”
Macy babbled something totally unintelligible and snuggled closer, resting her head against Melody’s chest. With a sigh, Melody pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head and rocked her in her arms.
“What if you hate me? What if I do something wrong and scar you for life? What if I get shampoo in your eyes, or lose your giraffe, or give you the wrong medicine?”
Sensing her anxiety, Macy placed her tiny hand against Melody’s cheek once again. She gazed down into the baby’s big brown eyes, full of innocence and wonder, and in that moment, her mother’s words echoed in her ears.
You’ll know in your heart what you want to do.
Closing her eyes, she buried her nose in Macy’s hair. Once again, she was overwhelmed with the scent of baby powder and something that smelled suspiciously like . . .
“Did you have peaches for breakfast?”
Macy gurgled her reply just as someone gasped loudly from the doorway.
Melody didn’t bother looking up. She didn’t have to.
The little girl nestled her head against Melody’s chest and closed her eyes just as Brody sat down on the floor next to them. Turning in his direction, Melody placed her cheek against the top of Macy’s head and watched as his eyes flickered with so many emotions that it was hard to keep track of them all.
“Hi,” she whispered.
Brody swallowed anxiously before tearing his eyes away from the child in her arms.
“Hey.”
“Crazy, right?”
Brody nodded as she continued to rock a sleepy Macy in her arms. Her brown eyes opened and closed as she resisted the urge to nap.
“What are you doing here?” Melody asked softly.
“Just dropping off a coconut pie from Mom. She’s afraid you guys are gonna starve to death.”
Melody smiled. “That’s nice of her. Do you still live with your parents on the farm?”
“No, but we talk about sixteen times a day. You’d never know I was a thirty-year-old doctor.”
“Parents, huh?”
“Yeah.”
They both laughed softly, and Melody glanced down at Macy who had finally succumbed to sleep. With her eyes completely closed, Melody got her first look at the little girl’s long lashes as they rested against her fair skin.
“You know, I’ve seen a lot of pretty babies,” Brody said softly. “But she might be the prettiest.”
“I was just thinking the same thing. Granted, my experience is limited. That may be changing, though.”
Questions flickered in his eyes.
“Trish named me her baby’s legal guardian.”
He nodded slowly. “So that’s why Troy Tucker’s sitting in the kitchen.”
“Yep.”
“Wow.”
“I know.”
“What are you gonna do, Mel?”
She held the baby a little closer to her chest.
“I don’t know.”
Brody smiled and reached for a lock of Macy’s curly hair.
“Really? You look pretty sure to me.”
She never could fool him.
“Are you her pediatrician?”
“I am. Do you have some questions?”
“About a million.”
He smiled. “Well, she’s a healthy baby. Her weight is right where it should be. She’s a little taller than most nine-month olds, but Trish was tall, so that’s not completely unexpected. Trish was vigilant about her checkups and vaccinations. She was a good mom, Mel. She’d really changed a lot since high school.”
“That’s all fantastic news, but those aren’t my questions.”
“What are your questions?”
“Can I do this?”
His eyes softened.
“I think you can do anything you want, Mel. You always could.”
“What if I do something wrong?”
“You will.”
“Thanks a lot.”
Brody laughed lightly. “All parents do. I bet if we asked our folks, they’d admit they made a lot of mistakes with us, especially when we were teenagers.”
“Like what?”
“Mel, do you really want to talk about this stuff now?”
“Yes. I’m about to make the most important decision of my life. Distract me, please.”
Brody sighed heavily. “Like what . . . let’s see. Like giving us too much freedom. Not banning us from the hayloft the first time they caught us up there. Believing us when we promised we were being responsible.”
“Disowning us when they realized we weren’t responsible at all.”
“My mom has apologized for that. It took years, though.”
“What about your dad?”
“He never really forgave me. But then again, Dad had ulterior motives. He wanted me to take his place in the pulpit.”
“Why didn’t you?”
He shrugged. “I’d made a lot of mistakes, and I didn’t feel worthy. Plus, I struggled with my faith a lot after . . . everything. Losing our baby. Losing you. I blamed God for a lot of things. I wouldn’t have been a good preacher. I’m a good doctor. Saving lives is a lot easier than saving souls
.”
“But you sound happy.”
“I am, for the most part. I have regrets, though.”
“Do they involve me?”
“Every one of them.”
She was afraid to ask what he meant. She just swallowed anxiously and buried her nose in Macy’s hair.
“Are you happy, Mel?”
“I am. I love my life. I have an amazing career. Wonderful friends. A beautiful apartment. I have almost everything I’ve ever wanted.”
“What’s missing?”
You.
The word flashed in her mind and nearly flew out of her mouth.
Suddenly, it was all too much.
His closeness.
The baby.
The voices in the other room.
With the baby cradled against her chest, Melody sprang to her feet.
Brody stood, too.
“Mel?”
Her ears roared. The room started to spin.
“Take her.”
He immediately grabbed the sleeping baby out of her arms.
“Mel? What’s—?”
Her knees buckled, and the room went black.
* * *
“I told her to eat breakfast. Didn’t I tell her, John?”
“You told her, sweetheart.”
“It’s really no wonder. This entire situation has her so stressed. And she isn’t sleeping. I heard her tossing and turning all night.”
“I could prescribe something to help her sleep.”
As fun as it was listening to the three of them talk about her like she wasn’t there, Melody decided to put them all out of their misery and open her eyes.
“There she is,” Sharon said, smiling down at her daughter. “Now don’t try to get up. You fainted on us.”
Melody had only passed out once in her life, and that was when she fell off that balance beam in gymnastics class. The revolting crunch of her arm was more than her thirteen-year-old mind could handle, and she’d fainted right there on the mat.
“Where am I?”
“On the couch.”
“Where’s the baby? Did I drop her?”
“No, she’s still sleeping. Kim took her upstairs.”
She nodded and prayed for the pounding in her head to ease.
“Good thing Brody was here to catch you,” Sharon said, smiling in his direction. “Otherwise you might’ve hit your head on the floor or the end table or the—”