Fine, so she’s his live-in girlfriend and so much more than that. I’m still going to make fun of them any time I can. Elliott’s embarrassed blush is so endearing it makes me laugh.
I wonder what Rosalind would look like if I made her blush. Would it stop at her cheeks? Would it creep up from her ample chest all the way up her neck?
“Hey!” Elliott greets us with a huge smile on her face, bouncing a toddler on her hip. Now may not be the most appropriate time to be thinking about Rosalind’s chest. “I hear congratulations are in order.”
My turn to blush, only it’s not embarrassment as much as excitement. I can feel by the heat in my cheeks. “Yeah. Thanks. You may be the first one to have said that to me. Everyone else seems to just give me lectures.” I turn and glare at Abel.
Elliott, on the other hand, gently pokes the toddler in the tummy, making him twitch. “It takes people time to figure out what they need to say about an unplanned pregnancy. Give them a couple months and they’ll be excited with you.” She turns and shoots her own scathing look at Abel.
He ignores both of our obvious attempts at inducing guilt. “How’s it going, babe?”
Elliott sighs. “It’s been rough today. Is there a full moon? We’ve had two poopy diapers in a one-hour period, an injury from a thrown block, and this little guy”—she tickles the toddler on her hip again, but he just scowls—“is having a tough time being away from his mama.”
“He looks okay to me,” I say.
“It’s deceiving,” she replies. “Watch.”
Elliott bends over and places the kid on the floor. He immediately starts screaming, the shrill of his voice just about blowing my eardrums out.
I put a finger in my ear and yell, “Good lord, make it stop!”
She smirks and picks the child back up. He immediately goes silent, scowling like the world has done him wrong.
I’m still fidgeting with my ears, pretty sure I just lost about ten percent of my hearing. “Holy shit, that was loud.”
A hand smacks the back of my head. “Watch your language in here,” Abel bitches.
“Not like anyone can hear me now that we all have blown eardrums.” I open and close my mouth a few times trying to clear my ear canals.
“And that’s what being a parent is like, Joey,” he lectures. “Blown eardrums. Drool on your shirt. Snot on your pants. Not sleeping through the night. Every single priority you have is blown to bits. It’s all about someone else. You want to train for Strongman? Not if your baby has a fever. You think it’s bad to be in here for four seconds? What makes you think you can handle the next eighteen years?”
“Because I didn’t make that one,” I say, pointing to Mr. Ear-Breaker. If only he knew these are actually the best years of his life.
Abel throws his hands up in exasperation. “What does that mean?”
“Look, I get it. This pregnancy wasn’t planned, and it’s not ideal. But it’s happening. I have a lot to prep for and even more to learn. But I have the best examples to learn from right here in this room.”
“If you think flattering me is going to make me remotely okay with this, you’re wrong.”
“Good thing I wasn’t talking about you. I was hoping to pick Elliott’s brain for parenting advice. I’m not going to let my baby suffer just because you won’t get over yourself and help your best friend and your cousin navigate this new lifestyle.” I turn to Elliott who seems oddly delighted that I’m standing up to him. “I already wrote down a list of questions about what to do with a baby. Do you think we could get together so I can get some information from you?”
She nods in agreement. “Absolutely. I’m glad to see you’re already planning ahead.”
“I’m going to bring Rosalind with me. I know she’s a little freaked out too.”
Elliott switches the baby to the other hip but keeps swaying. “That’s normal. We’re all a little freaked out in the beginning. But it gets easier. And I’m here to help however you need.”
“That’s really nice of you, Elliott. Thank you.”
“You’re family, Joey.” She says it to me, but she gives Abel a pointed look at the same time. “And not just because of Rosalind. It’s always been that way, and we’ll do what we can to help you however you need.”
I narrow my eyes slightly. “You’re not going to send me fake articles about sewing my own organic baby clothes to reduce allergies or something are you?”
Elliott laughs out loud, startling the scowler who seems to make an even more menacing face. I make a mental note to keep my new baby from this potential psycho. He may be little, but I’ve seen Boss Baby. You just never know.
“Joey, I have no problem screwing with you all day long. It gives me immense joy.”
“So I’ve seen,” I grumble.
“But I will never, ever do anything to drag your baby into it,” she promises. “Kids are off-limits.”
“Really?”
Elliott purses her lips and thinks for a second. “Let’s see how it goes when he or she is a teenager. If they have your personality, I retract my promise.”
“If my baby has my personality, I’ll retract it myself.”
Elliott smiles at me and opens her mouth to say something else when a wail comes from across the room. “Sounds like I’m being summoned. You two better leave before the chorus joins in.”
Sure enough, someone else also decides it’s time to scream.
I back away slowly, trying to not make any sudden movements while all hell breaks loose, but as soon as my ass hits the door, I bolt.
I only make it a few feet before I hear Abel calling after me.
“Joey.”
I glance over my shoulder but keep moving. I have one more client and my own workout to get in before leaving for the day. Plus, I still have to pee. The last thing I want is yet another talking-to.
“I’ve got a class, Abel.”
“It’ll just take a second.”
I continue to walk, not necessarily ignoring him but not making it easy for him either.
“Joey, stop.” His hand lands on my shoulder, forcing me to just give in to his request. Doesn’t stop me from shrugging him off, though.
Quickly stepping in front of me—either to make sure I can’t go anywhere or to make eye contact—Abel runs one hand over the top of his head while the other rests on his hip.
“I’m sorry, okay?”
When I don’t say anything, he’s forced to continue. To grovel, if you will.
“I’m just… it all just shocked me. I didn’t even know Rosie—”
“Rosalind.”
He ignores my correction. “—was working at a dump.”
I raise an eyebrow in defense. “It’s not a dump, Abel. It’s a regular bar-like atmosphere that happens to employ women to get topless while we drink.”
“And one of those women is someone I love. That’s a hard pill to swallow.”
“Why? You didn’t make her do it. She voluntarily does it because she likes it.”
Abel throws his hands up. “Why do people keep saying that? No one wants to be a stripper for a living.”
“Says you. Abel, I’ve seen her dance, and she’s incredible, with or without clothes on. The upper body strength she has is beyond anything I’ve ever seen. It’s just…” My thoughts get lost as I think about the first time I saw her and how she was able to hold her entire body out sideways before cartwheeling off the bar into a full split. In heels. With her boobs bouncing. I better keep myself on track. “It’s incredible.” Snapping my eyes back to him, I re-center my thoughts. “But that’s not even what’s important here. She and I are having a baby together.”
“But are you together? Like a couple?”
“It’s too early to know, but I like her, Abel. I like her a lot. She’s tough and secure in herself. She’s a ballbuster even when she’s secretly amused. She’s an athlete, even if you don’t think so. She’s cool. And regardless of what you think about it, we’re going to do
this together. So, you can either help us both through it, or you can move out of my way.”
His head hangs low, both hands on his hips. Either he’s considering my words or he’s getting ready to clock me. I’m hoping it’s the former since I don’t have a spare t-shirt in the event this one gets bloody.
Finally, after what seems like an awfully long time for him to decide how to proceed, he looks up at me. “You’re right.”
I cup my ear with my hand and lean in. “What was that? I think I misheard you.”
He punches my shoulder lightly. “I’m not saying it again. I’m doing my best to wrap my brain around everything, but I promise to let it go and help you out more. You’ve always been a good guy and she’s a good girl.”
A smirk and raise an eyebrow at him. “Well, not always.”
The punch that lands on my shoulder is harder this time.
“Ouch, you dick. That hurt,” I whine as I rotate my shoulder to work the pain out.
“I don’t want to know anything about Rosie except that she is a nice Catholic girl who loves her new job and is having a baby with you. That’s it. The end. Don’t tell me anything else beyond that.”
“I’m disappointed in you. You’ve always loved hearing about my sex-capades.”
“No. No, I have never loved it. In fact, I’ve told you to shut up more than once over the years. Now would be a great time to actually listen to me.”
“We’ll see.” I push past him but turn to walk backward toward the locker room and get some relief for my bladder. “But I’m glad to see you finally on board with my new family. Did you hear your girlfriend back there? We’re family now, man! You’re never getting rid of me now!”
He rubs a hand down his exasperated face. “Believe me. I’ve already thought of that.”
I point two fingers at him. “Christmases are going to be amazing!” Then I turn around to finish out my day while he groans behind me.
The unexpected benefit of all this, I have now been given unlimited access to torturing Abel during the holidays. Awesome.
Chapter Six
ROSALIND
I’m utterly and completely wiped out. I want to blame my new job, but I’m not sure folding towels and vacuuming take more energy than using my entire core to spin around a pole while sporting five-inch heels and not fall on my head.
I could blame it on watching Joey train. My whole body felt hot more than once as I tried to hide the fact that I was watching him. Who can blame me? No gym shorts can hide the tree trunks he calls thighs. I’d notice how thick and powerful they are and then I’d remember what else he has that’s thick and powerful and my mind would replay our night together. Well, it made some alterations to the actuality of the event, but still left me hot and bothered.
That was only for about an hour or so, though, so that means my exhaustion must be the pregnancy. I hate these hormones and all the issues they’re having on my body. Twice today, I had to run for the toilet, so I didn’t spew all over the floor. Call me considerate, but it was for purely selfish reasons that I didn’t just go for the nearest trash can. As the newest member of housekeeping, it would have been up to me to clean it, and I wasn’t feeling up to it.
I’m not enjoying pregnancy like I assumed I would. I’ve always heard about the glowy feeling and my hair getting thick and luscious. It’s still early in this process, but neither of those things have happened yet. Mostly, it’s been lots of vomiting and wishing for naps.
Admittedly, there has been one benefit of my changing body—my boobs are getting bigger. I had a decent amount before and quite enjoyed showing off my cleavage. But now, I look pretty damn amazing. Too bad my newfound pooch takes attention away from the favorite parts of my body. I don’t mind my growing belly. It’s kind of fascinating. It’s just unfortunate it has to grow faster than my fab boobs.
I sigh. Nothing about this pregnancy is like I imagined my first one would be.
A knock at my apartment door has me wondering why someone is showing up at this hour, and I silently curse whoever is trying to force me to get off my couch. Maybe. I haven’t decided if I’m going to answer.
The second knock has my temper rising as I realize they aren’t going away. “Hold your horses. And if you’re selling something, you better run, or I’ll kick your ass for making me get up when my feet hurt.”
My words are more bark than bite. I live in Chicago. I’m not opening the door for anyone I don’t know. Peeking through the peephole, I see the last person I expected. “Why are you here so late?”
Flinging open the door, a white plastic bag is immediately shoved in my face. “Thought you might need some protein after a long day at work. Also, it’s seven thirty.”
I take the bag from Joey’s hand with a “yeah, yeah” and try not to smile at his offering. It’s sweet, but I’m not sure he needs to know I think that. So far, he’s lived up to every one of my minor expectations, but if he’s in this for the duration, he needs to prove himself a while longer. Call it the curse of my mother’s constant reminder of what a disappointment I am, but trust doesn’t come easily for me. It would be so much easier if it did. But if I’ve learned anything from her continual scoldings, it’s that love doesn’t always mean support. And like is a step below that to start with.
“Thank you. Blessings Chicken is the only thing I crave these days.” As soon as the smell of dinner hits my nose, I know I can’t wait any longer to eat. Me and this baby may starve to death if I don’t get a drumstick in my face ASAP. I wave Joey in and head back to the couch. Not concerned about what he’s doing, as I am hyperfocused on food I just pull my legs up underneath me and begin digging through the goodies. “How’d you know where I live?”
“Abel told me.”
That catches my attention. “Abel?” He nods. “My cousin Abel?” Another nod. “The guy who was going to flatten you in the front of the lady that runs weird on the treadmill?”
“That’s Bambi, and yes, your cousin Abel who wants to rip my dick off. But I think he’s over his animosity now.”
I go back to my bag. “Impressive. How did you manage that?”
Joey plops down next to me and puts his feet on the table—a huge pet peeve of mine. I give him the evil eye, but he doesn’t seem to notice. “Abel is loyal to a fault when he loves someone. I reminded him that he doesn’t just love you, he loves me too, and his little hot head just deflated in front of me.” Joey chuckles. “It looked like a hot air balloon when you turn off the fire.”
“Joey.”
“Hmm.” He turns to look at me, a content smile on his face.
“Get your feet off my table.”
Without one shred of guilt or embarrassment, he removes his feet and sits up. “Are shoes okay in the house or do I need to remove those too?”
It’s weird how he just asked without getting derogatory or pissy. I’m used to people, mostly family, rolling their eyes and thinking I’m ridiculous. But Joey just asks an honest question and wants an honest answer. There wasn’t even so much as a flicker of concern. It’s the strangest thing. And yet, it’s kind of nice. He doesn’t need me to pussyfoot around things to protect his feelings. There’s no pressure to make him feel better. It’s all just matter of fact. I don’t really understand it. I was raised in a household full of passionate debate and manipulative expressions. This “even keel” is taking a bit to get used to, but I admit to liking it. To liking him.
“I prefer shoes by the door. Keeps the floors from getting dirty.”
“Done.” He gets up and does as instructed, removing his shoes and laying them on the tile by the wall. “I’ll make sure to bring an extra pair of socks next time for maximum cleanliness.”
Hmm. He has a point. Fresh socks would be a good idea when I walk in the door. I’ll have to see about getting one of those cute baskets for the shelf right there and stock it with some bootie socks before the baby comes and does tummy time. Well, when I have the money to buy one. In hindsight, having a savings a
ccount for things like an unexpected pregnancy would have been a good idea.
“Back to Abel. So, has he forgiven you?” I take a bite of my favorite, a fried chicken drumstick, and moan at the juicy goodness. Joey doesn’t answer me, so I look up to see why he’s distracted. Turns out, it’s me and my fabulous boobs. We may have only had one night together, but Joey is a virile guy. I’m surprised people moaning in pain at the gym don’t turn him on. I never thought about how many people make sex noises during their workouts until I started my job.
What am I thinking? That’s probably why he works with old ladies. Easier to keep the beast in his pants under control. Not that I want him to necessarily restrain himself right now. We may be only getting to know each other, but I have eyes. Eyes that keep trying to peruse his body because they like what they see. Never thought I’d stop thinking about the bad sex but here we are.
Pull yourself together, Rosalind.
It takes him a few seconds to refocus and I admit feeling a bit empowered by the fact that he still finds me hot. I feel so gross these days, it’s good to know I haven’t turned into a complete troll.
Finally, he answers my question. “Uh... yeah. I mean, not yet. I mean…” He takes a deep breath and focuses. “I wouldn’t say he’s forgiven me yet, but he apologized for being an asshole, which means he’s considering it. He can’t stay mad at me forever. Especially when his girlfriend is giving him shit.”
“What’s she like, anyway?”
“Elliott?” I nod because, while I’ve met her in passing, I haven’t actually talked to her since the baby bomb dropped on Abel.
“She’s great. Supercool lady. Keeps Abel on his toes.”
“Good. He needs someone like that. His wife was such a bitch.”
“May? She wasn’t that bad.”
“Letting you stare at her boobs when she talks doesn’t make her not a bitch.”
“What? Who would do such a thing?” I quirk an unconvinced eyebrow at him knowing full well he just did a long, lingering perusal my way. “Fine. At least she never slapped me,” he grumbles.
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