“We don’t gossip,” her husband protested as he stood. “We exchange valuable information and insights.”
“As you say, my dear,” she said sweetly.
The Kirklands exchanged private smiles before Lord Kirkland said, “Duval and Madame Duval, will you join me for a few minutes?”
“Of course,” Simon said, and wondered warily what Kirkland wanted.
Chapter 6
Kirkland led his guests into his comfortable private study, then lit lamps as they settled onto a small sofa opposite the desk. Suzanne studied Kirkland carefully, a habit that had been crucial for survival in the harem. She sensed that he was not a cruel man, but that he could be ruthless in pursuing goals he considered vital. Stopping Napoleon from reclaiming his throne would surely be in that category.
Though she concealed her nervousness, Simon’s calm was real, she thought. He and Kirkland came from the same world and understood each other. “What do you want to know, Kirkland?” he asked. “I don’t have any special insights into what Napoleon might do.”
“No, but you do have entrée into the French émigré community if you choose to use it,” Kirkland replied. “After all, it’s possible that you are the Comte de Chambron.”
Simon’s expression was pained when he glanced at Suzanne. “So many of our relatives have died?”
“It’s hard to be sure. As the Revolution shattered the old order, French aristocrats fled in all directions. Many moved to Britain and even Canada, while others fled east into Russia. It’s hard to get information this far away.”
“Then I shall hope I have healthy cousins living in Russia.”
“If so, we should find out eventually,” Suzanne said quietly. “But I suspect that at the moment, Lord Kirkland is hoping to use your possible rank.”
“Exactly so,” Kirkland said. “As a possible French count who served with distinction in the British army in the fight against Napoleon, you would be welcomed into the highest London émigré circles.”
“I am not French enough to be the Comte de Chambron,” Simon said dryly. “Why would I want to be welcomed by aristocratic émigrés?”
“The London émigré community may contain highly placed Bonapartist spies or informers who have been passing information to the emperor’s supporters in France,” Kirkland said succinctly. “That’s not as critical now as it was several years ago when the fighting was more intense, but it would be useful to identify any such people. Particularly if they might have some knowledge of Napoleon’s plans.”
“And you would like me to turn spy again to investigate them,” Simon said flatly.
“You wouldn’t be a spy, merely a trained observer. If you’re willing, the information could be useful.” Kirkland’s gaze moved to Suzanne. Uncannily perceptive, he said, “I’ve heard that you were not treated well by your countrymen when you recently arrived in London.”
Her face turned hot with shame. “Your information is correct. Does everyone in England know of my ruination?”
Simon touched her hand. “You were not ruined,” he said softly. “You have become strong as tempered Damascus steel.”
She gazed into his clear, light eyes and almost wept as she saw his belief in her. She had thought of her captivity as a trial she’d barely survived, not as an experience that had made her stronger and better.
She drew a shaky breath and turned to Kirkland. “Surely you have enough spies that you don’t need Simon’s help in this.”
“I have some informants among the émigrés,” Kirkland admitted, “but none are well placed enough to be useful in this matter. Colonel Duval has rank and experience of intelligence gathering. As his wife, you would be accepted also if you accompany him.”
“I have no desire to be accepted by those people!” she snapped, going rigid as she remembered the humiliation and pain she’d experienced when she’d expected to be welcomed and comforted by her countrymen.
“That’s understandable,” he agreed, his expression sympathetic. “But wouldn’t there be some satisfaction in returning to those circles as a countess with a heroic husband on your arm?”
Simon said sharply, “Suzanne might not be ready to make this decision, and I will not allow her to be coerced!”
“Nor do I wish to coerce her,” Kirkland said seriously. “But you both know as well as I what horrors will be unleashed if Napoleon returns to his throne. There may not be any vital information to be found among the émigrés, but there might be something that would save lives.”
“The hell of intelligence work is that one never knows if the information gathered will be useful,” Simon said tartly.
“Sometimes it isn’t, yet other times it spells the difference between triumph and disaster,” Kirkland agreed. “You saved San Gabriel and its people from a bloody invasion. I’d say the work you did there made up for any number of dead ends.”
As Simon nodded reluctantly, Kirkland turned to Suzanne. “Madame Duval, marriage is a grave step to take and the business of no one but you and Colonel Duval. Such a decision is not to be rushed, but collecting information is a separate issue. If you’re willing to work with the colonel, an actual marriage isn’t necessary.”
Her brows arched. “A false marriage? No, thank you! I’ve spent too much of my life living lies.”
“Our marriage could be real,” Simon said quietly. “But only if you wish it.”
She studied his strong, familiar features, drawn to him and the life of ease he was offering her. She wanted the women she’d met tonight to become her friends, and as a practical Frenchwoman, she wanted the security and comfort that Simon could provide.
Was that enough for marriage when the thought of putting herself into a man’s power again terrified her? Though her mind said “Accept,” the wounded girl deep inside wanted to burrow back into anonymous poverty.
There was only one way to reconcile these impulses. Choosing her words carefully, she said, “It is time we discussed your proposal in greater detail.”
Simon’s eyes lit up. “Indeed we should. Kirkland, will you mind dreadfully if I ask you to leave?”
The other man chuckled. “Not at all. Take as long as you wish. I hope you’ll join us later with good news.” He crossed the room and closed the door quietly behind him.
When they were alone, Suzanne said wryly, “Have you noticed that happily married couples encourage everyone to join them in that estate?”
“Yes, while unhappily married persons urge flight. What we must decide is which best suits us,” he said.
“Most betrothed couples yearn to share a bed. That isn’t what we’ll be doing.” Her gaze searched his face, trying to look beneath his calm. “Are you sure this is what you want, Simon? As the melancholy of war fades, you may regret contracting a passionless marriage. You are buying the cow but will receive no milk.”
“A cow?” He laughed out loud. “I see myself marrying a lovely, intelligent woman of the world whose company I have always enjoyed. Even in the most passionate marriages, people don’t spend all their time in bed. They’d starve if that was the case.”
“Friendship is powerful, but I think most of the advantages of our marriage would go to me,” she said seriously. “What would you receive in return?”
“Companionship,” Simon said immediately. “A woman I can laugh with, or discuss the issues of the day, or take to the theater. Someone I’ll enjoy seeing at the breakfast table. A wife who will care whether or not I come home.” He hesitated, then continued, “Someone to cherish. To give purpose to my life.”
She frowned. “I can be your companion, but I can’t promise to be your salvation.”
“Companionship is enough. Anything more will be a bonus. You have your doubts, understandably. Is it me, the fact that this is so sudden, or the idea of marriage itself that you object to?”
“It isn’t you. We are old friends and I don’t think you will turn into a monster. My head says to accept because I won’t get such a good offer again. Bu
t this is happening so suddenly.” She swallowed hard, knowing she must be honest with him if there was to be any chance of their building a lasting relationship. “And I do fear marriage. With anyone.”
“I’m grateful that you don’t think I’ll become a monster,” he said with wry humor. “The practical advantages of this marriage are obvious, but emotions run much more deeply. Do you understand the source of your fears?”
When had she known a man who wanted to understand her mind and emotions? Never. “I went from child to wife to harem slave,” she said bluntly. “The thought of putting myself in a man’s power again terrifies me.”
She waited for him to become affronted, but instead he said, “That is entirely understandable. There are times I’ve been in the power of others and I’ve hated it, and those situations were surely less threatening than what you’ve endured.” He cocked his head to one side as he thought. “Is there anything that might help allay your fears?”
“Money is protection against many of the world’s ills,” she said diffidently. “You said you would settle an income on me. How much would that be?”
His brows drew together as he thought. “A thousand pounds a year? You won’t be able to live in the grand style you knew in France, but it’s enough for comfort.”
Her eyes widened. “That’s very generous! You would draw up a legal settlement to guarantee it?”
He laughed and raised her hand to brush a light kiss on her knuckles. “My practical Frenchwoman! Yes, there would be a legal settlement to protect you.”
She flushed and pulled her hand away. “I don’t feel I need protection from you. But life is dangerous and uncertain. If something happened to you, I wouldn’t want to find myself in desperate circumstances again.”
“Of course you wouldn’t. You must have funds that are yours alone.” He regarded her thoughtfully, his eyes narrowing. “Is there anything besides money that would help dispel your fears?”
She hadn’t thought beyond money, but an answer came swiftly to mind. “I’d like to learn to defend myself! Men don’t expect women to resist and they are right. Most of us are used to submitting tamely. We don’t know how to fight back. I’d like to learn how to shoot a gun or wield a dagger.”
“Not against me, I hope! Unless I deserve it. I can give you shooting lessons. I can show you how to use a knife and how to conceal it when you travel in dangerous places. I can also teach you some defensive moves that can be effective against assailants larger than yourself.”
Suzanne’s eyes widened in amazement. She hadn’t really expected an answer, much less one so specific. “I would love all those things!” She thought of Rory, who had known how to fight back when necessary. “The mere idea of being able to defend myself effectively makes me feel stronger. Safer.”
“Then it shall be done.” He gave her a slow smile. “The thought of learning how to wreak mayhem makes you glow. What an extraordinary woman you are!”
She thought how Jean-Louis would have reacted to her desire to learn how to shoot and fight. He’d have been appalled. Despite his physical resemblance to her late husband, Simon was a very different man. She thanked heaven for that. She blushed. “For years, I have yearned for freedom, independence, and power over my own life. Is it possible for me to have all those things as your wife?”
She meant her question seriously, and Simon answered with matching seriousness. “Any marriage, even one as unconventional as what we’re negotiating, will involve some compromises for both of us. But I swear that I will never try to coerce you into doing something you don’t want to do.”
It was impossible not to believe him, but still she hesitated. “If ever our marriage should become so unbearable that I leave, will you promise not to try to find me? With your abilities, I’m sure you could hunt me down no matter where I might try to hide.”
He winced, but answered. “I pray God that matters between us never become so painful! If you wish to leave, I’ll let you go, but I reserve the right to speak with you once to see if the situation might be resolved.”
Her imagination produced the image of a murderous Simon cornering her so she had no escape.... No. That was her fear speaking and had nothing to do with him. If their marriage failed, it would be with a weary sigh, not violence.
“I can’t imagine that we would reach such dire straits.” She smiled wryly. “You must think I’m a little mad to ask about such absurd possibilities, but the more we talk, the better I know you. You really listen to me. That is rare and valuable.”
One corner of his mouth lifted in a half smile. “So I’m passing your test?”
“It’s not precisely a test,” she said. “But you’re doing a good job of allaying my fears. Am I making you have second thoughts about your proposal?”
“No, you’re convincing me that you will be a most excellent wife if you accept me,” he said promptly. “You’re cautious, intelligent, experienced, and wise. I value those qualities greatly. No flighty debutante could match them.”
She liked the way he saw her, though she didn’t quite believe his words. Turning again to practicalities, she asked, “What kind of life would we live? What will you do now that you’re out of the army? I don’t imagine that you’ll spend all your time drinking and gambling, but what will you do with yourself? Seek a government post, perhaps?”
“Definitely not a life of gentlemanly dissipation, and I’ve no interest in a government post.” He looked almost embarrassed. “I’ve said that I had a comfortable inheritance. In fact, it’s quite substantial. Besides the town house, there’s a sizable estate in Berkshire and I’m part owner of several businesses inherited from my mother’s merchant family. The properties have all been in the hands of capable managers, but it’s time I took on my responsibilities. They’ll keep me busy and out of trouble.”
She blinked, surprised at the extent of his wealth. “An estate. Would I be able to have a horse again?”
He looked startled. “I hadn’t thought of it, but I suppose you couldn’t ride during your time in Constantinople.”
Her mouth twisted. “If they’d let me near a horse, I’d have been halfway to Greece so quickly they wouldn’t have seen me go!”
“I believe that. You were a superb horsewoman even at age fifteen. Yes, you can have a horse. As many as you want.”
She smiled a little ruefully. “It’s been far too long since I’ve been on horseback. Remember how we rode through the countryside in the weeks before my marriage? We always outran the grooms.”
“Good times,” he murmured. “I didn’t realize how good until much later.”
She had never felt more free than when she was on horseback, galloping with the wind and a good companion at her side, and she’d never had a better companion than Simon. Choosing her words carefully, she said, “I look forward to riding with you over the hills of our estate.”
He became very still. “Does this mean you’re accepting my proposal?”
She drew a deep breath and stepped off the cliff, praying that she was doing the right thing. “I do believe it does.”
Chapter 7
Simon felt a surge of pure delight that was as startling as it was welcome. Taking Suzanne’s fine-boned hand in a warm clasp, he said, “I’m so very glad to hear that! Fear doesn’t vanish in an hour, but I presume it’s now diminished to a manageable level.”
She gave him the sweet, bright smile that had enchanted him when she was a young bride-to-be looking forward to her future. “There is still some fear, but more anticipation. What will our life together look like?”
“What would you like it to be? We have many choices.”
She looked thoughtful. “I envision us with friends who are interesting and open-minded, like the people we met tonight. Even more important, I see you and me sharing a library after dinner. We’ll sit by a fire and read or write letters with a cat or dog or both to keep us company. Domestic peace with good French cooking.”
He contemplated the picture
she created and found it good. “That’s very appealing. We’ve both had too much adventuring. You like cats?”
“Yes, in the harem there were several long-haired Turkish cats. They were charming. There was a beautiful silver-haired fellow who graciously allowed me to brush through his long silky hair. I felt very honored.”
“Cats do have the ability to make us believe we’re privileged to be their slaves,” he agreed.
“Omar was certainly of that sort. Captain Hawkins has a very different sort of cat. The Spook was a rangy, odd-looking ship’s cat who hunted for vermin and presented his trophies to favored humans.” She chuckled. “Most often the ship’s cook, who was his special friend, but I was the fortunate recipient of several of his gifts. Hawkins and Rory planned to move him ashore, so he’s probably patrolling their kitchen now.”
Simon laughed. “A working cat, very different from the decorative sort. I’d like either kind of feline. Both! And I want to get a dog or two now that I’m finally going to be in one place long enough to provide a proper home.”
“Dogs are good companions and less expensive and less work than wives,” she pointed out. “You wouldn’t really need me at all!”
“Dogs have many fine qualities, but they’re poor conversationalists. So I need a dog and a wife.” He loved that she was relaxed enough to tease him. “When shall we marry? It won’t take my lawyer long to draw up the legal settlements for you.”
She drew a deep breath. “I see no reason to wait. A special license means we could marry soon, doesn’t it?”
“Yes, right away and in a time and place of our choosing.” Remembering an important question, he asked, “Do you want a Catholic ceremony?”
She shook her head. “I haven’t been a true Catholic for many years. Since reaching England, I’ve sometimes attended services at the local parish church. You may choose as you like.”
“I was christened both Catholic and Anglican and never felt there was a great deal of difference,” he admitted.
“Nor do I.” She hesitated, then asked diffidently, “Could you advance me some money from the income you’re settling on me? I’d like to give gifts to the other women in the boardinghouse as well as to the Potters. They have been kind to me.”
Once a Spy Page 5