“Good morning, Chris,” Lucinda greeted me.
“Morning,” I greeted in return. “I’m sorry I didn’t come home last night. It was late when I dropped Hollie off, and I just wanted to make sure she was okay.”
“You don’t have to explain yourself, or apologize to me, Chris. It’s okay,” Lucinda told me and handed me a cup of coffee.
“Thank you,” I answered gratefully.
“How is Hollie’s son doing?”
I drew in a deep breath and ran my fingers through my disheveled hair. “He’s in Intensive Care. They’re doing some tests on him, but they’re not sure what’s wrong.”
“Oh, that’s terrible.”
“It gets worse,” I sighed. “He had Leukemia when he was a baby and has been in remission for almost eighteen months, but Hollie thinks that it may have come back.”
Lucinda’s face paled, her jaw dropped, and she slowly covered her mouth with her hand. “I am so sorry, Chris. That is terrible. I had no idea,” she gasped. “I understand why Hollie snapped at me for telling her that she was overreacting.”
“You know she didn’t mean it like that. She was just scared and in a panic.”
“I completely understand. I would have probably reacted the same way,” Lucinda said morosely. “How is she?”
“She’s broken but is trying to keep a brave face. Like always,” I sighed and took a sip of coffee. “Let’s not tell Amelia about this, okay. I don’t want to upset her more than she probably already is.”
“Oh, she’s not upset, not in the least. She’s just worried.”
“She is?” I asked.
“Daddy?”
I whirled around and saw Amelia, still dressed in her pajamas, walking towards me with a large purple starfish plushie.
“Hey, baby.”
She walked up to me and I crouched down to hug her.
“Are you okay?” I asked her and she nodded. “I missed your party, and I am so sorry, Milly.”
“It’s okay. Lucy said Daddy took Hunter to the hospital and that Hunter’s mommy was really upset, so you stayed with her to make sure she is okay.”
“Yes, that is exactly right.”
“Is Hunter’s mommy okay?” she asked.
“She’s okay, just feels a little sad, because Hunter is in hospital and she can only visit him today,” I explained.
“What’s wrong with him? Is he going to be okay?”
I pursed my lips and glanced briefly at Lucinda. “They’re not sure what is wrong with him, Milly, but the doctors are doing everything they can to find out and make him better.”
My voice started to break as I tried to keep it together for my daughter. I didn't want her to worry any more than she already was. I had never seen her so worried before in her entire life, and it warmed my heart that she cared so much about Hunter.
“Hunter must be so scared and alone at the hospital,” Amelia pointed out. “Can we go visit him?”
“I’m sure we can.”
“Okay,” Amelia answered and hugged me again. “I’m not mad you missed my party. It was the best party. I just want Hunter to be okay.”
“We all do, baby. We all do.”
I noticed Lucinda in the kitchen, her gaze lowered, and she turned away. “I love you, no matter what, okay?”
“I love you too, Daddy.”
“Who’s hungry?” Lucinda asked from the kitchen, her eyes red and puffy, and I had not realized that she had been crying. Her eyes were glassy and her cheeks slightly flushed.
“How does pancakes sound?”
“Can I have French toast instead?” Amelia asked with a pout.
“You can have whatever you want,” I answered, and she smiled with a little more excitement on her face.
As I watched Amelia and Lucinda making French toast in the kitchen, I couldn't help but feel grateful that Amelia never had to go to the hospital for something like that, or anything for that matter. I was grateful that she was healthy and happy, and that the difficult parts of our lives were over. I never realized that Hollie was the one who struggled with the things she did for so long. No wonder she was so determined to be successful. She needed it more than I did.
I sat back in my chair, still watching Amelia and Lucinda, but something stirred up inside me. A familiar feeling that crept up from my stomach and planted itself straight into my heart. I was falling for Hollie again, and although I knew that I shouldn’t, I couldn’t help myself. If last night had been any indication that she wanted me as well, then there was nothing left to be uncertain about.
I loved her, and truthfully, I never truly stopped.
14
Hollie
Sunday
Watching the clock for as long as I had been caused me to lose focus of reality, or at least that was how it felt to me. It felt as though I was floating out of my body, six feet above the ground, seeing myself, pale and worried. The hands of the clock seemed to stand still, freezing me at this moment for god knows how long.
The sound of a phone vibrating on the couch beside me pulled me back into my body, and I glanced at Melanie, who sat beside me in the waiting room.
We had been in the private waiting room for almost an hour, waiting for visiting hours to start. It had felt like a week since I saw Hunter, and my heart yearned for him. Dr. Mills still had not given me any indication of what was wrong with Hunter, or if the leukemia had made its reappearance. I wondered what the hell was taking them so long, but I knew that tests as sensitive as Hunter’s wouldn’t just be given within a few hours.
I knew that even if the leukemia had come back, I would fight with everything in me to make sure Hunter got the best treatment, even if it meant selling our house and buying an apartment in a cheaper part of the city. I wasn’t sure how I would do it, but I had been through it once before. I simply had to be strong, even though it felt as though I was falling apart.
“It’s George.”
For a moment I had forgotten that Melanie was beside me, and I glanced at her.
“He just wants to know if you’re okay,” she continued without me having to say a single word. “I didn’t tell him why we were at the hospital-”
“Probably because we don’t know either,” I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair.
Ever since Chris had left my house, I had this strange kind of emptiness inside me, although he was only a few minutes away from me. Last night had been an amazing night and even though I had my head filled with Hunter and everything that was going on, I struggled to forget about the night I had with Chris. I felt a little overwhelmed with all the feelings I had inside me, not only about Hunter but with Chris as well.
What exactly did last night mean to him? I desperately wanted to ask, I needed to know, but I didn’t want to be disappointed by Chris again.
“I’m sure the doctor will be here any minute. He knows Hunter’s history better than any other doctor, and he won’t let anything happen to him,” Melanie assured me.
“Thanks for being here, Mel. I appreciate it.”
“Why didn’t you call me yesterday when all this went down?”
“I rely on you a lot and you’ve done so much for me. I didn’t want to make a nuisance of myself. You have a life too.”
Melanie scoffed and shook her head. “Since when?”
I chuckled and turned to her.
“I don’t like it when you’re here by yourself,” Melanie said to me.
“I wasn’t alone,” I sighed.
“Who was with you?”
“Chris was here.”
“What?” she exclaimed and turned to me. “Are you two dating or something? Again?”
“No, it’s not like that,” I defended. “Hunter was invited to his daughter’s birthday party and-”
“Wait a second. Chris has a daughter?” Melanie asked, her eyes wide.
“Yeah, she’s about Hunter’s age.”
“Wow, I would never have guessed.”
“Yeah, that
was my exact reaction. Hunter fainted at the party, so Chris drove us here.”
“And he sat with you the whole day, missing his daughter’s party?”
“Yes.”
Melanie raised an eyebrow at me and cocked her head.
“Please don’t look at me like that.”
“I thought you hated the guy, Hollie,” she pointed out.
I pursed my lips and simply glared at Melanie.
“Just because he’s being nice to you now, doesn’t mean that you get to forgive him for what he did. Right?”
“Mel, I really just need you to be my friend right now,” I begged. “To be fair, I never hated him to begin with. I was just upset with him over everything, but now…”
“You’re falling for him again,” Melanie stated with a scowl.
“I’m just overwhelmed with everything going on and,” I said and paused. “He’s not the asshole he is at work. He’s really sweet and kind and considerate. He just reminds me of the guy I used to love in college.”
“Did you sleep with him?” Melanie asked me.
“Well, you know,” I stuttered. “He dropped me off at home and the moment I walked into my house, it was so quiet, and I felt so alone-”
“So you fucked your ex because you felt lonely?” she asked.
“Quiet,” I hushed her. “It’s just complicated with him.”
“It always is.”
“Mel, please. I don’t know what to do about my feelings, okay. Isn’t it true that you can’t choose who you love?”
“Of course, you can. You know what a mess your breakup was. You said so yourself and now you’re sleeping with him, developing feelings for him, talking about love. Are you going to marry him too?”
“I don’t know, Mel. I don’t have the answers to your questions. I have a million unanswered questions as well and it's so overwhelming. All I know right now is that I need all the support I can get.”
“And you’ve got it,” Melanie said to me, her voice drenched with sincerity. “Just don’t expect me to be nice to him.”
“I wouldn’t expect that of you, ever,” I smiled at her.
“So, you do love him?”
I opened my mouth to answer, but before I could, the door opened, and I stood from my chair. I had expected Dr. Mills to come walking through the door, but it wasn’t him. Instead, Chris and Amelia entered, and a relieved expression appeared on my face.
“Hey,” Chris said, his smile fading slightly when he saw Melanie. “Hey, Melanie.”
“Hey, Chris,” Melanie said with a curious smile and glanced down at Amelia. “And who is this beautiful girl?”
“My name is Amelia. What’s yours?”
“I’m Melanie. It’s so nice to meet you.”
“I like your hair,” Amelia said, which made Melanie beam.
As they exchanged compliments, I glanced at Chris and smiled slightly, happy to have him here.
“Amelia wanted to come to visit Hunter, I hope that’s okay.”
“Yes, of course. We’re just waiting for visiting hours. It should be in the next few minutes,” I answered.
“Is Hunter okay?” Amelia asked me.
“He’s going to be okay,” I assured her, and quite honestly myself as well.
Melanie glanced at her phone, which vibrated again and cringed. “Oh, shit.”
“What?” I asked.
“I forgot that I have a lunch date with Steven.”
“Go, it’s okay. I’ll be fine.”
“Are you sure,” she asked and shot a brief glance at Chris.
“Yes, I'll be fine.”
“Okay, I’ll be back later, okay?”
“You don’t have to rush back.”
“Thank you. Will you give Hunter a big hug from his aunty Mel?”
“Of course,” I answered as she hugged me.
“Thank you,” she told me, and then in a hushed voice whispered, “I know he’s hot, but just be careful. Promise me.”
“I promise.”
Melanie glanced at me and nodded. “Love you.”
“Love you too,”
“Bye Amelia,” Melanie said with a wave and glanced at Chris. “Chris.”
Chris nodded with pursed lips and we watched as Melanie left the waiting room.
“She doesn’t like me, does she?”
“What was your first clue?” I retorted. “She’s just being a friend who’s concerned about her friend.”
“Rightfully so,” he said with a nod. “How are you doing?”
“I’m okay. I just want to see him,” I admitted. “It feels like it’s been weeks.”
“I can imagine,” he answered simply.
I glanced down at Amelia and crouched down in front of her. “I’m so sorry that we missed your party, and that your daddy wasn’t there afterward.”
“It’s okay. I told him so this morning. I’ll have another birthday next year. I just want Hunter to be okay.”
My eyes filled with tears as Amelia put her little arms around my shoulders and hugged me. The emotions ran through me at an overwhelming rate and spilled down my cheeks. I felt Chris’s hand on my shoulder as I glanced at him. He wiped away my tear with his thumb and I drew in a deep breath.
I noticed one of the nurses peer through the door and smiled. “Ms. Jameson. You can go through to Hunter’s room.”
“Can we go too?” Amelia asked the nurse.
“No more than three,” the nurse answered. “He’s in unit four.”
“That’s my favorite number,” Amelia beamed.
I smiled lightly as we made our way out of the waiting room, through the airlock doors of the Intensive Care Unit, and to unit number four. Of course, I knew the way to his room, as I had been in the Intensive Care Unit more times than I could count. The nurse opened the door and allowed us to enter.
“We’ll give you a few minutes before going in,” Chris said to me.
“Thank you,” I whispered and touched his shoulder.
Hunter was awake, and his face lit up when he saw me. “Mommy!”
I walked to his bedside and put my arms around him. “Oh, I missed you so much.”
“I missed you too,” he whispered.
“How do you feel?”
“Tired, and my arm hurts,” he answered and showed me his arm. Little red dots on his skin where numerous needles had punctured his skin, and all I wanted to do was just take all his pain away. He was so young and tiny and had already been through so much.
“It’s okay, baby,” I assured him and planted a few light kisses on his arm. “How’s that?”
“Better,” he smiled.
“I have a surprise for you,” I said with a smile.
“Do I get to go home?”
I pursed my lips and lowered my gaze. As much as I wanted to tell him that he could, Dr. Mills wasn’t sure what was wrong with Hunter yet. “We’ll have to talk to Dr. Mills when he comes, okay?”
Hunter nodded and glanced at me. “So what is my surprise?”
“I have someone outside who wants to come to say hi.” I stood from the chair and walked to the door. I motioned to Amelia and Chris to come in, and Amelia was the first to rush in with bundles of excitement. She had a backpack on her back and slid it off as she approached the bed.
Hunter’s little face lit up in a way that I had never seen before as Amelia clambered up on the bed and placed her backpack on the bed.
“I brought you something,” she beamed as she pulled out one stuffed animal after the other out of her backpack. “All the essentials, obviously.”
I cocked my head to the side as my heart melted in my chest as Amelia and Hunter sat on the bed, talking and laughing as though nothing was wrong. Chris stood beside me and I glanced up at him. “Your daughter is amazing.”
“So is your son,” Chris told me, his brown eyes sparkling. “Besides, I couldn’t talk her out of it even if I tried.”
I chucked and lowered my gaze to the two kids on the bed.
> “At least I got her down to a backpack and not the suitcase she packed originally,” he said with a chuckle.
I smiled at him and nodded. “Thank you for being here.”
“I didn’t know if it would be okay if we came, Amelia was pretty adamant though.”
“It’s fine. More than fine actually. It’s good for him to have something to keep his mind off everything. Plus, she is probably the first real friend he’s ever had. She gets him, and I don’t want him to lose that,” I stated.
“That will never happen,” he assured me, and something by the way he looked at me at that very moment led me to believe that he wasn’t just talking about Hunter and Amelia. There was an ambiguity in his tone, and it wasn’t lost on me. I smiled up at him and nodded. “I’m glad you’re here. Both of you.”
“So am I,” he answered softly and slid his arm around the back of my waist, pulling me a little closer to him. “We need to talk, though.”
“I know,” I whispered and pursed my lips.
I knew this was coming, but I just wasn’t in the right frame of mind to do so. It would have to wait, even though I didn’t want it to.
15
Chris
Wednesday
The ticking of the clock was the only sound in the room, apart from the clicking of Hollie’s pen from the other side of the conference room table, which drove me insane, but I was sure she knew that already. It had been two days since Hunter was released from the hospital, with the test results still inconclusive, even after all those tests and blood they drew from the poor kid. His body showed no sign of infection, or that the leukemia had returned. Hunter was given medication by the doctor to help him recover from whatever it was that had caused his blood count to rise so rapidly and made his blood pressure drop as it had. Hollie had taken a day off from work to be with him, just to make sure that he wasn’t going to relapse, but he was fine. It still bothered Hollie immensely that she didn’t know what was wrong with him.
It bothered me even more. Even though he wasn’t my kid, he was now an important part of my life, as Hollie was. Hollie had given me clear signals that she wanted me, although here at work she seemed different, but I realized that she didn’t like to mix her personal life with her professional life. She pulled it off so well, and I had to commend her on that. Even though she and I had exchanged many tender glances and gestures, we had not had the opportunity to talk about our future yet, and what we wanted from it. And if we wanted each other in it. Judging by the past few days, it was a definite yes from her.
Forbidden First Times: A Contemporary Romance Collection Page 10