My eyes were still closed for a second and I took in a deep, shaky breath before I finally opened them. Quentin stood there, still imprisoning me with his arms at my sides and his hands pressed against the door. He was looking at me intently and his face was flushed. He looked completely debauched already and I wanted to push further. I wanted to know what he looked like with his clothes hanging off him and his hair messy, but I didn’t get the chance.
“This is why I’ve been avoiding you, Billie,” he told me firmly, his voice rough and low as he spoke. “This is why I have to stay away from you. We can’t do this. I know better than anyone that we can’t do this and yet, it’s all I’ve been thinking about ever since you started here.”
I was speechless. I couldn’t believe Quentin really had a crush on me. I was flattered and I couldn’t say I wasn’t interested. After all, he was tall, handsome, and buff, plus he was a wonderful boss (to everyone else at least) and a loving father. He was the whole package. The fact that he was probably pretty well-off didn’t hurt either, but that was the least important thing to me.
My mind was off daydreaming about us going on our first date already when he said the words that cut through that fantasy like a knife.
“But this is wrong. We can’t take this any further. There are too many risks involved and it’s so unprofessional it’s unreal.” He paused to let out a bitter laugh and run a hand through his thick, silky hair. “So, until I get my damn libido under control, you’re going to have to put up with me being a bit short with you. I’m sorry.”
With those last words, Quentin pulled me away from the door and stormed out, leaving me alone with my thoughts.
What the hell just happened?! I asked myself as I tried to make sense of everything Quentin had just confessed. It was obvious he was attracted to me, but he clearly didn’t want to be with me. Just because you were attracted to someone didn’t mean you wanted to be with them. Maybe he only liked the way I looked and not anything else about me. The thought depressed me a little and I remembered that I still didn’t know whether he was married or not.
After letting out a frustrated sigh, I left Quentin’s office and headed back to my own. I was totally out of my depth and I needed some advice about what to do. After all, I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to handle being in the same office as him now that I knew how wonderful his lips had felt on my own.
As soon as I was seated at my desk, I pulled out my phone and text Carla. ‘You were right about my boss’ was all I said. Even admitting it on a text made my heart flutter and despite all my fears and worries, I couldn’t help but smile.
I received Carla’s reply in a few seconds. It was just a full page of exclamation marks. I let out a howl of laughter in spite of the confusing situation before finally deciding to tackle the problem after work. For now, I would focus on being the professional I knew I could be. Even if my lips were still tingling with the memory of Quentin’s incredible kiss.
12
Quentin
My fingers were shaking as I pulled my phone out of my pocket. After completing messing up and kissing Billie, I’d run like a coward until I reached the tasting room. I don’t know how many members of staff I’d passed, I barely paid any attention. All I’d wanted in that moment was to get as far away from Billie as possible. I couldn’t risk staying in such close proximity with her. I knew I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from tearing her clothes off, not now that I knew what she tasted like.
Strawberries, I reminded myself and let the memory of her Chapstick grip me tight once again. A big part of me thought that the risk was totally worth it to know what it was like to kiss those beautiful, soft lips, while the other part of me began listing all the reasons why we shouldn’t be together.
She’s far too young for you, to start with, I told myself. You have a kid. What kind of young woman wants to take care of someone else’s kid? Besides, she’s your employee! You’re going to cause all sorts of trouble. You barely know her. It’s not worth it.
A tormented groan escaped my lips as I weighed everything up. I dropped my head to my hands and cursed myself for being so reckless. The tasting room was a place I didn’t often spend much time in, but I was glad that it provided some semblance of privacy.
“Right this way, ladies and gentlemen! Let the tasting begin!” a tour guide called out from the other side of the door. My heart began thumping in my chest and I knew I couldn’t put on a mask for anyone right then. So, not wanting to speak to anyone, I scurried off into the storage room and made myself a seat out of a footstool I found there.
‘Fucked up. Kissed her.’ I couldn’t think of any other way to break the news to Peter, so that’s all I sent in my text to him. As soon as the message was sent, my head fell back against the wine racks behind me and I let out a groan of frustration.
What a stupid, stupid idiot I am, I thought to myself as I shook my head. I’d been trying so damn hard to make things better and all I’d done was make everything infinitely worse. Now, I was hiding out in what was practically a closet in my own business! I couldn’t believe how badly I’d already fucked up with Billie. She’d barely been here two weeks and I couldn’t keep it in my pants. How was I going to cope for the next month? Year? It felt impossible.
My head fell into my hands and I sighed loudly. Just outside the storage room door, I could hear excited guests at the vineyard mumbling about wine over the soft mellow sound of classical music. I was going to be trapped in here for at least another twenty minutes which gave me plenty of time to mull over just how royally I’d screwed things up.
As if things could get any worse, not only did I kiss an employee, but I’d done it without her permission… The realization made me groan and I balled my hand into a fist before slamming it into the shelves behind me.
“Huh? What was that?” someone said from behind the door.
I stayed completely still for a long moment, fearful of being found hiding like a little lost puppy. Thankfully, no one came to check out the noise. My thoughts went back to Billie and guilt welled inside me as I recalled how soft her lips felt against mine. I couldn’t believe I had kissed her and then left her all alone to deal with it. It was not only a jerk move, but it was entirely unprofessional. If anyone in my staff had done that, I’d fire them on the spot, but I couldn’t exactly fire myself now, could I? And I definitely wasn’t going to fire her, so I needed to find some other method to handle this and I needed to do it quick.
“Oh, Quentin, what have you done?” I lamented as I rubbed my temples in an attempt to ease my impending headache.
After a short wait hidden away in the storage room, I heard the departing footsteps of patrons leaving the tasting room. I pressed my ear to the door and listened out until the very last person had left before I emerged with a sigh of relief. Before I could head back to my office, however, my phone began ringing in my pocket.
“Hello?” I said as I answered it, too flustered to check the caller ID.
“Mr. Wendall, I’m terribly sorry to interrupt you while you’re at work,” Mandy, Lincoln’s nanny, began, “but I need to go home. My father has had a fall in his nursing home and he’s being sent to the hospital. I need to go see him.”
“Of course, of course,” I replied, nodding my head in spite of the fact that she couldn’t see me. “I understand, family comes first.”
“Thank you, sir. I really appreciate it,” she said in a hurried voice. “What should I do about Linc? I’ve just brought him back from kindergarten and he’s—”
“Just drop him at my office on your way to the hospital,” I told her. “I’ll come outside now so I can get him straight from you, okay?”
“Yes, that’s great. Thank you again.”
“No worries. I hope your father is okay.”
“Me too, Mr. Wendall.”
I hung up and headed straight for the lobby of the main building. To my surprise, Peter was standing at the reception desk chatting to a member of the kitchen staff.
Knowing that it would take a short while for Mandy to arrive, I stepped close enough to Peter to listen in on their conversation.
“If you can get a hold of the champagne flutes for tonight’s VIP guests, I’d be grateful,” Peter was saying.
“Of course,” the waitress replied with a nod before scurrying back toward the kitchen.
Peter glanced up at me then, but before I could approach him, he sent me a murderous glare and turned away. Clearly, he didn’t approve of my actions toward Billie any more than I did. Before I could explain myself to him, however, he headed out of the front doors toward the fields. I sighed again and shook my head, feeling ashamed for how I’d acted. At least, seeing Lincoln would simultaneously cheer me up and take my mind off things.
With that in mind, I headed toward the door and I looked out of the glass for any sign of Mandy’s Prius so I could retrieve Lincoln from her as quickly as possible. I’d been pacing up and down the length of the lobby for ten minutes by the time she showed up looking flustered. Without hesitation, I hurried outside to the side the car.
“I’m sorry again, Mr. Wendall,” Mandy said with a frown as she opened the door to let Lincoln out.
“It’s okay, Mandy. Let me know how things go with your father, okay?” I reassured her with a smile.
“Of course.” She nodded once before returning to the vehicle and heading off the way she came.
“Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!” Lincoln cried out as he closed the gap between us and leaped up into my arms. “I missed you so much, Daddy!”
“I missed you too, Linc,” I told him as I gave him a big cuddle. “Did you have a good time with Nanny Mandy?”
Lincoln thought about the question for a second as he wriggled free of my grasp and landed on the floor. “It was okay,” he answered with a shrug of his shoulders. “I want to run! Race you, Daddy!” He sprinted off in the direction of the fields. With a chuckle, I reached out and grabbed him by the t-shirt.
“Before you go running off, you little monster, Daddy needs to go get his things from inside,” I told him and guided him in the direction of the office.
“Oh,” he mumbled before looking up at me. “Then I want to see that pretty woman with the long name!”
Of course. Of fucking course, he wants to see Billie, I thought dejectedly. The one person I’d been trying to avoid would be the one person Lincoln wanted to see. Behind me, I heard a roar of laughter and I turned to see that Peter was standing there with one of the supervisors who worked in the fields. He was watching me and Lincoln with a big grin on his face and I cursed him silently. Peter might have been my best friend, but he always did enjoy watching me squirm a little.
I sighed and turned back to Lincoln. After what had happened between Billie and me, I couldn’t bear seeing her. I had to tell him no, no matter how much that pained me. “I’m sorry, Linc, not today,” I told him with a shake of my head.
He stared up at me with his big green eyes and his bottom lip stuck out in a pout. “Why?” he questioned with a stomp of his foot. “I want to see her!” He burst out into a tantrum, sobbing crocodile tears.
“Linc, please, let’s not do this now,” I said weakly, but it was hard to deny him anything he wanted. I hated to see him upset and after his mother left, I wanted to give him the world. I sighed and looked around at the field workers who had stopped their duties to watch me and my son. It was overwhelming and I was already exhausted from my antics earlier. I’m sorry to admit, I gave in.
“Fine, fine, but just quickly, okay?” I told him.
Lincoln immediately stopped crying and smiled up at me. “Yay!” he exclaimed before darting toward the building. Reluctantly, I followed after him.
It’s fine. It’s totally fine, Quentin. You’re an adult. You can handle this. You need to see her sometime anyway, so it’s better to do it sooner rather than later. I continued to give myself a pep talk as I followed Lincoln into the lobby and up the stairs where he knew my office was.
“Where can I find the pretty lady?” Lincoln asked as he looked around the room, turning his head rapidly from left to right.
“This way, Linc,” I said as I pressed my hand to his shoulder and walked him down the corridor toward Billie’s office. Once we were outside, I seriously began to regret my decision. I thought about turning around and going back, but I knew Lincoln would just kick up a fuss and Billie would no doubt hear his tantrum. There was no turning back.
After taking a deep breath, I lifted my hand and rapped my knuckles on Billie’s door. Lincoln was practically vibrating with excitement, jumping up and down on the spot until the door opened.
“Oh, Linc! It’s you,” Billie said in a surprised voice. I did my best to look anywhere but at her, however, the delicate floral scent of her perfume was inescapable. She smelled phenomenal.
“And it’s you! Will-have-meanie,” Lincoln replied.
Billie let out a soft, angelic laugh and I swear my heart skipped a beat. It was beyond a joke now. I felt like a stupid lovesick teenager and not the forty-something-year-old with responsibilities that I actually was. Thankfully, Lincoln was happy to do all the chatting for me.
“Remember, Linc, you can call me Billie, okay?” she told him. She crouched down to the floor again to speak to him and the sight was incredibly endearing. My mind flooded with images of the three of us together in a multitude of different scenarios, almost all of them domestic. I had to stop thinking about it because I knew it could never happen. I was too broken by my past relationships to let someone in again. Billie deserved better than that.
“Okay, Billie,” Linc replied with a nod. “Can I come in?”
Billie smiled and pushed the door open wider. “Of course, you can.”
And so, I watched my son as he did the one thing I wanted to do most and he did it much better than I ever could: He charmed Billie and swept her right off her feet.
13
Billie
When Friday came again, I made sure not to pack my usual lunch before I waved goodbye to Lucky for the day. Not only was I excited by the prospect of a free lunch, but I was also thrilled to see Tracy again. I’d liked her when we first met and I hoped she felt the same way. When I moved, I’d promised myself to try my best to make friends here in Napa Valley and Tracy seemed like a great start.
Throughout the morning, I kept my head down and kept myself focused on work. I didn’t want my thoughts to stray toward Quentin and the confusing situation we had gotten ourselves into. It was difficult, however, when he was turning up at my office door with that adorable son of his while I wasn’t sure whether or not anything could happen between us.
On the one hand, Quentin had made it pretty clear that he wanted to avoid me, while on the other, he was obviously attracted to me. And that kiss… Well, would it be a surprise if I said I’d thought about it once or twice while I was lying in bed with my hand down my panties? After all, I didn’t think I was going to forget a kiss like that anytime soon, even if nothing more happened between us.
By the time lunch arrived, I felt ravenous and I hurried to the lounge, racing past other people on my way. The brightly lit break area was still empty except for the staff and I smiled as I saw a familiar face standing there. I headed toward the serving table and gave Tracy a big wave as I drew near.
“Hello again,” I greeted.
“Oh, Billie, right?” she replied, putting down her ladle and leaning over the counter toward me. “It’s good to see you again. You’re looking well.”
“Thanks, Tracy,” I said softly as I picked up a plate. “How are you doing?”
“Not bad, not bad,” she stated with a nod. “You settling in okay?”
The memory of Quentin’s lips against mine came back to me and I couldn’t stop a wide smile from stretching across my face. “Better than I imagined,” I answered cryptically. “I’ve been meaning to ask since I saw you last, could I get your number? I’m new in town and the only person I know is my landlady.”
Not
to mention that Carla won’t stop talking about Quentin every time we talk… I added to myself.
“Oh, of course, that’s no problem. Hand me your phone.”
I did as she asked and watched as she tapped her cell phone number into it.
“Call me anytime! I’d be happy to show you around all the best places in Napa,” she told me.
“I’d love that.” The smile on my face only grew bigger as I accomplished another of my goals. “Can I get the shrimp today?”
“Sure.”
Once my plate was full and I’d said my goodbyes to Tracy, l surveyed the room for an available seat. My mind was busy making imaginary plans with my new friend already and getting excited about it when my gaze settled on Quentin who had just walked in. The boss was dressed smartly in a navy-blue three-piece suit and his bright blond hair slicked back in its usual style. My mind took a nosedive into the gutter as soon as I took in the sight of him. Conversely, Quentin didn’t even look my way. He was preoccupied talking to his mom, either that or he was still ignoring me like he had been since our steamy kiss in his office.
Instead of getting upset about it, I kept my head held high and thought about the great steps I’d made toward earning a friend today. No matter what was going on with me and Quentin, I still had a lot to be happy about. So, I headed toward the nearest table and sat down to eat my meal. I made small talk with a couple of the tour guides sitting opposite me and the lunch period passed peacefully.
At least, until Quentin and Mrs. Wendall sat down next to me.
“You see, I think a remodeling of the tasting room might actually help to make the tour feel more accessible for younger people,” Mrs. Wendall was explaining as she pulled out the chair next to me.
Forbidden First Times: A Contemporary Romance Collection Page 46