“Jessamine,” I said. “But no one calls me that – it’s Jessie.”
“Shame.”
I blinked at him. “What makes you say that?”
I saw a faint smile etch its way over Benjamin’s face.
“Because that’s a beautiful name. It’s unique.”
I held my breath.
“It’s like you,” Benjamin continued. “You seem like the kind of person who wants to stand out.” When I didn’t reply, he continued: “Isn’t that what you want?”
A shiver ran down my spine. Why did it seem like he was talking about so much more than names?
I couldn’t answer him – it was too intimate, too close to the heart. Instead, I cocked my head and gave him a saucy smile.
“How come I’ve never seen you before?” I challenged him. “I’m a senior. I thought I knew everyone on campus.”
Benjamin snickered. “I don’t live on campus,” he said.
“I haven’t seen you in any classes,” I said. As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I blushed. What was I doing? I sounded like a loser, or like a total nerd!
“I’m in NROTC,” Benjamin said. He smirked at me and I blushed hotly.
“Well, I’m a communications major,” I said breezily.
“What do you hope to do with that, Jessamine?”
Just the way he said my name sent shivers down my spine. A strange mix of feelings was building inside of me, unlike anything I’d ever felt before. Despite my brashness and frequent bold behavior, I hadn’t ever thought of myself as the type of woman who could attract a man – especially not a man like Benjamin, all lean muscle and sculpted jaw. In my own weird way, I had sort of resigned myself to being the “best friend” character in everyone else’s lives – the kind of person who encourages and dotes, who smiles from the wings of the stage as my skinnier, prettier friends got the leading guy.
Now, though, I wondered if I hadn’t sold myself short. It couldn’t be a joke, could it? The way Benjamin was looking at me. The way my heart was pounding like a drum. The way my palms were damp and sweaty, no matter how many times I wiped them off on my thighs.
Despite the warm evening, I shivered.
I still hadn’t answered his question – but I wasn’t thinking about college, or my major, or my future career anymore.
I was only thinking about him.
Stepping closer, I took a deep breath and stretched up on the tips of my toes. Then, without thinking about what I was doing, I kissed him.
For a moment, neither of us moved. Then, the kiss seemed to become alive. Benjamin’s lips moved against my own and I moaned softly when I felt his sharp teeth nipping at my mouth. His tongue slid into my mouth, caressing mine, and I shivered when Benjamin put his arms around me and pulled me closer. His body was muscled and solid and in his arms, I felt almost dainty, like I weighed nothing at all.
The kiss grew more passionate and I was aware of every single movement in my body. My heart thudding against my ribs, my nipples hardening under the lacy shirt I wore, my clit throbbing and my pussy getting wet. I tilted my head back and whimpered with pleasure as Benjamin broke the kiss and moved his mouth down my neck, to my collarbone. He bit and sucked and licked and I cried out, tangling my hands in his dark hair and pulling him closer. The sensations flying through my body were heavenly and I was barely aware of Benjamin holding me in his arms and walking me backward, until I was pressed up against the rose trellis.
“I want you,” I whimpered as Benjamin’s head moved lower and lower. I shouldn’t have been doing this – it was slutty and wanton and careless, anyone could have seen us!
But I didn’t care. All that I cared about was Benjamin, and how much I needed him in that moment. He dropped to his knees, moving his hands over my body and drawing me close. I could feel the heat of his breath through the lace of my shirt and I shivered when his mouth found my nipples and began to suck through the scratchy material. The wet, liquid heat of his tongue on my sensitive skin made me blush hotly and I yanked my shirt up around my shoulders to give him better access. In the moonlight, my skin was so pale that it was practically glowing and I shuddered with anticipation as Benjamin put his hands to my breasts and cupped them, rubbing his thumbs over my nipples.
“Oh my god,” I cried out, closing my eyes and arching my back. When Benjamin took his hands away, I gasped with frustration but then I felt pressure between my legs and automatically spread my thighs. Benjamin was back on his feet, pressing his muscular thigh between my own legs and I gasped again as he pressed harder, sending shockwaves of bliss through my body. His leg probed my pussy, pushed hard at me through my thin leggings, made me shriek and moan with sheer delight. His strong hands moved over my body, down my waist and to my ass. When he squeezed my butt, pleasure swirled through my lower body and I groaned softly. He didn’t even try to touch me through my clothes – he merely yanked down the waistband of my leggings and panties, pulling them down to my ankles. The muscles in my thighs burned from the strain of bracing myself against the house with my legs spread but I hardly noticed. The smell of my pussy juice mingled with the smell of the roses on the trellis, filling the air with an erotic smell that made me blush.
“You’re so gorgeous,” Benjamin growled in my ear, nipping at the soft skin as he slid a hand into my panties. I was soaking wet and when he touched me, ecstatic sensations exploded in my clit. Soon, I found myself bucking my hips and rubbing myself against his touch, eager for more. We were strangers and yet he knew how to give me such exquisite pleasure, unlike anything I had ever felt before.
I reached forward and my hands fumbled with the snap of Benjamin’s trousers. My fingers were clumsy and Benjamin almost chuckled as he pushed my hands away, then expertly undid his fly himself. His pants slid down his hips and I hooked my thumbs in the waistband of his briefs, yanking them down. When his cock sprang free, I nearly gasped. It was huge – so big that I couldn’t imagine him fitting it inside of me – and throbbing. A glistening drop of pre-cum crowned the tip and I had to resist the urge to drop to my knees and lick it off.
He was so gorgeous – what the hell did he want with me?
Who cares, I thought as a slow, horny grin spread across my face. He’s with me now – that’s what counts.
Benjamin put his hands on the trellis, on either side of my head, and pushed his hips forward until his cock was probing, searching for the entrance to my pussy. I moaned softly and arched my back, spreading myself as open as I could while remaining on my feet. He reached down and held my hip with one hand, then steadied himself against the wall and plunged his cock inside.
As soon as he entered me, I felt the world spin faster and faster. Then, everything seemed to stop – except for Benjamin and me. He slowly withdrew, then pushed deep inside of me again, filling me to the hilt. I closed my eyes as he moved his hands down my body and slid under my ass, picking me up and holding me as our bodies moved and twisted together.
I couldn’t stop myself from crying out with intense pleasure and I buried my face in Benjamin’s neck to muffle my moans. The sensations only grew inside of me and I held my breath before biting and sucking the base of his neck and shoulder. Benjamin groaned with obvious pleasure and drove into me, deeper than before. He filled me perfectly and completely, like we had been made for each other. The heavenly feelings in my body swelled and grew and as Benjamin bucked his hips against mine, I gasped softly. He continued to hold me, suspended in the air, with one hand as his other hand moved between our humping bodies to my clit. When his fingers brushed against my most sensitive surface, I moaned loudly.
“More, please,” I begged hoarsely into his neck. “Please, don’t stop!”
Benjamin groaned and thrust harder, rubbing my clit in time with the movement of our bodies. I held my breath until my lungs ached, until I saw stars bursting in front of my eyes. The moment was so perfect, so exquisite, so delightful that I could hardly believe it was happening.
I could feel somet
hing building deep inside of me, a strange sensation, almost like something tightening in my gut. As it grew and grew, I moaned and writhed in Benjamin’s arms, rubbing my pussy and clit against his hand. His fingers rubbed circles over my clit and I cried out loudly, then screwed my eyes shut and shrieked as a powerful orgasm broke over my head. It felt like I had transcended the earthly realm and gone straight to heaven, gone to a land where I was as weightless and free as a cloud, floating above the earth.
Benjamin grunted loudly. Beads of sweat dripped from his muscular chest to my body and I shivered as I felt him tense and clench. His cock thrust into me harder than before and he pressed his mouth to mine in a rough, passionate kiss as his own orgasm crested and rose inside of him. His tongue searched my mouth, his teeth bit at my lower lip and I moaned enthusiastically as we slammed together, harder than before. He grunted and thrust, bucked and twisted against me.
My heart was slamming against my chest so quickly that for a moment, I thought there was something wrong with me. As Benjamin pulled out of me, he gently lowered me down to the ground. With trembling fingers, I pulled up my panties and leggings, pulled my shirt down from where it had bunched around my shoulders. I was blushing so hard that I couldn’t even look at Benjamin – what was he thinking?
When I heard the sound of him pulling his pants up, I turned to Benjamin. He smirked at me, then nodded his head and loped off in the opposite direction.
I couldn’t believe it – I’d just had sex with a total stranger. My heart was still thudding rapidly against my ribs and my stomach did a nervous flip-flop. The last traces of my insanely powerful orgasm were still coursing through my veins and I had to put my hand against the rose trellis and brace myself so that I wouldn’t fall over.
A nervous, joyful giggle escaped my lips and I grinned so widely that my cheeks hurt before turning and scampering away towards the house. I felt giddy, nearly insane – I’d never done anything like that before!
But I couldn’t have helped myself. As soon as I’d seen Benjamin, lurking in the darkness, something had drawn me to him like a magnet. There was something incredibly special about him, and I knew – I just knew – that somehow, he was going to become important to me. It was crazy: I didn’t even know his last name. I didn’t know anything about him other than that he was a senior, a member of NROTC.
And the man who had just taken my virginity against the wall of a frat house.
With another golden giggle, I smoothed back the wild tangles of my curly hair and went in search of Henny.
1
Jessie – Present Day
Our bodies writhed together in a bed of silk sheets. Ben’s fingers were laced with mine and he squeezed and clutched my hand, bucking slowly against my ass as his cock slid inside of me, penetrating me deliciously to the hilt. I closed my eyes and surrendered to the pleasure, gave myself over to it, moaned softly as Ben’s hard dick brought me to new heights of pleasure.
The room was hot and humid and sweat pooled on the sheets below our bodies as the lovemaking grew more passionate and intense by the second. I could feel Ben’s hot breath on the back of my neck, could feel his grip tightening as his thrusts became deeper. With every thrust, a shock of pleasure took me over and made me gasp. Without breaking our rhythm, Ben reached between my legs and stroked my curly tuft of pubic hair, then rubbed at my clit until I felt myself bucking and gasping with a powerful orgasm that left me breathless.
“Mom!”
My daughter’s shriek was enough to make my eyes shoot open and in mere seconds, the dream popped like a soap bubble and vanished from my head.
Olive, my little girl, was perched at the edge of the bed. She stared at me with her big brown eyes and blinked.
“You were making funny noises,” Olive observed before burrowing under the covers.
A lump welled in my throat. I didn’t know how I could possibly begin to tell Olive the truth – that nearly every night since the last time I had seen her father, I had dreamt of him. For a while, the dreams had gotten so rough that I’d dreaded going to sleep. I’d stayed up all night, binging diet Mountain Dew and chocolate covered coffee beans in a desperate attempt to stave off sleep.
But I couldn’t have kept it up forever. Eventually, I had to face facts: that I would likely spend the rest of my life dreaming about Benjamin Grove, and the impact that he’d had on my life.
Just thinking about him – his dark hair, those flashing blue eyes, his muscular body and his stern demeanor – was enough to break my heart all over again.
I couldn’t succumb to that, though.
Now, I had Olive to take care of and I would have died rather than let my little girl how much her mama was hurting.
“Come here, you,” I said as I pulled Olive close and tousled her black hair. She giggled and squealed before burying her face in my elbow and blowing a raspberry. As we cuddled and tussled in my big bed, I felt my sadness beginning to evaporate. Being with Olive almost always did that – my little girl was so sweet and special, she was like a panacea for all that ailed me.
“I had a good dream,” Olive announced.
I did, too, I thought.
Instead, I raised an eyebrow and turned to my daughter. “Oh, yeah? What was it?”
“There was a big party with ice cream and Putt-Putt,” Olive said. She raised herself up on her elbows and gave me a serious look. “That’s my birthday,” she said.
I laughed. “Honey, your birthday isn’t for a few months,” I said.
Olive’s face fell and I felt a pang of guilt.
“But that doesn’t mean we can’t start to make plans now,” I told her. “Is that what you’d like?”
Olive nodded.
From the bedside table, my phone began to vibrate and shriek with the sound of my morning alarm. With a groan, I reached over and silenced it.
“Mommy, don’t go to work today,” Olive said. She tugged at my sleeve. “Stay home with me.”
I laughed. “You can’t miss school, kiddo. You told me just last week that you love Ms. Henderson!”
Olive wrinkled her nose. “Ms. Henderson wants me to read Amelia Bedelia over and over,” she complained. “I don’t like that book.”
I covered my mouth so Olive wouldn’t see me smile. Even though Olive was only four, she was already reading on a first-grade level. She was far smarter and more conscientious than I’d been at her age and while it was truly adorable, it never failed to impress me.
Deep down, I liked to think that she got that from Benjamin.
“Why don’t we go to Barnes and Noble this weekend and pick out something else,” I suggested as I picked Olive up and gently set her down on the floor. “And you can bring it into school and maybe Ms. Henderson will let you read that instead.”
Olive nodded, but she didn’t look satisfied. She had an intense, stern look about her.
I knew she got that from Benjamin.
“Mommy has to get dressed,” I said. “Why don’t you go pick out your outfit for the day, okay hon?”
Olive nodded. She turned and flounced out of my room, her Moana nightie flapping behind her. As soon as she was gone, I groaned and flopped back down on the pillow, hoping for just another second of rest.
I was exhausted. Being a single mom with a four-year-old wasn’t easy, even with the support of my brother Jared and Henny. And the nights when I dreamt of Benjamin – which were frequent – meant that the sleep I got didn’t feel restful at all. My body felt like a big, heavy sandbag and I groaned as I thought of the long Monday that awaited me.
I didn’t risk closing my eyes for fear of falling asleep again and after a few seconds, I climbed out of bed and yawned, opening my mouth wide and raising my arms over my head for a good stretch. Then, I walked over to my closet and stripped out of my pajama pants and oversized T-shirt. The Wilmington broadcast station where I worked was thankfully a casual workplace, and I dressed in a pair of dark velvet leggings and a loose tunic sweater that hid the bulge of my
belly. After swiping on some mascara and a coat of clear lip balm, I wrestled my unruly brown curls into a bun at the nape of my neck and yawned again before going into Olive’s room to help her dress.
As soon as Olive and I were ready, we left the apartment and caught the bus to her pre-school, which was just down the block from my office. Olive went off to the arms of Ms. Henderson without much of a fuss, and as soon as I said my goodbyes for the day, I raced down the street and made it to my desk just as the clock struck nine.
“Rough morning?”
I glanced up and saw my coworker, Emmy, standing there with two giant cups of Starbucks coffee.
“Please say one of those is for me,” I joked.
Emmy handed one over. “Of course, duh,” she said. “I know you well enough by now to know that you can’t function without this stuff.”
We laughed.
“Thanks,” I said. “I appreciate it. Really.”
Emmy nodded. “No problem,” she said. “You hear anything about spring training yet?”
I shook my head.
Her eyes got big. “My boyfriend just got tickets to go down to Florida for it,” she said. “I’m like, dying with excitement.”
I felt a small pang of jealousy, but I pushed it aside as quickly as it had come.
“That’s great,” I told her. “You’re going to have so much fun.”
Emmy and I shot the breeze for a few more minutes before I sat down and got to work. My lifelong dream of becoming a sports broadcaster had been put on hold by having Olive at age twenty-three, but I didn’t mind ... much. I was working as an administrative assistant and I still hoped to make my way up the ranks. I loved my coworkers and even though the job didn’t pay very well, I was happy there. The station prioritized work-life balance and knowing that I wouldn’t be punished if Olive was sick or if I needed a personal day ... well, that was huge.
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