by Ward, H. M.
THE ARRANGEMENT 1
THE ARRANGEMENT 2
THE ARRANGEMENT 3
THE ARRANGEMENT 4
THE ARRANGEMENT 5
THE ARRANGEMENT 6
DAMAGED 1
DAMAGED 2
SECRET LIFE OF TRYSTAN SCOTT 1
SECRET LIFE OF TRYSTAN SCOTT 2
SECRET LIFE OF TRYSTAN SCOTT 3
SECRET LIFE OF TRYSTAN SCOTT 4
SECRET LIFE OF TRYSTAN SCOTT 5
THE ARRANGEMENT 7
THE ARRANGEMENT 8
THE ARRANGEMENT 9
THE ARRANGEMENT 10
THE ARRANGEMENT 11
SCANDALOUS 1
SCANDALOUS 2
STRIPPED 1
THE PROPOSITION 1
THE PROPOSITION 2
THE PROPOSITION 3
THE PROPOSITION 4
THE ARRANGEMENT 12
THE ARRANGEMENT 13
THE ARRANGEMENT 14
THE PROPOSITION 5
THE ARRANGEMENT 15
THE ARRANGEMENT 16
THE ARRANGEMENT 17
THE ARRANGEMENT 18
THE WEDDING CONTRACT
SECRETS & LIES 1
SECRETS & LIES 2
SECOND CHANCES
LIFE BEFORE DAMAGED 1
LIFE BEFORE DAMAGED 2
LIFE BEFORE DAMAGED 3
LIFE BEFORE DAMAGED 4
LIFE BEFORE DAMAGED 5
LIFE BEFORE DAMAGED 6
LIFE BEFORE DAMAGED 7
LIFE BEFORE DAMAGED 8
LIFE BEFORE DAMAGED 9
LIFE BEFORE DAMAGED 10
THE ARRANGEMENT 19
THE ARRANGEMENT 20
MANWHORE
BROKEN PROMISES
THE ARRANGEMENT 21
STRIPPED 2
SECRETS & LIES 3
SECRETS & LIES 4
SECRETS & LIES 5
SECRETS & LIES 6
THE ARRANGEMENT 22
SECRETS & LIES 7
A DAMAGED WEDDING
EASY 1
THE ARRANGEMENT 23
For Mike, the most awesome hubby ever, my blue-eyed, dark haired hero.
The Arrangement
Collection B (Vol. 4-6)
1
The city has that scent in the air, like it’s going to snow. Wrapping my arms tighter around my middle, I walk down the street. The sidewalks have an inky sheen, like it’s been misting. Car horns blare as I breathe in the exhaust and try to fathom what happened, but I don’t know. I can’t grasp it. The look on Sean’s face, the way his voice sounded…
My stomach twists like I’m going to be sick. I gave him my heart and he fucking returned me—like I was broken. Like he didn’t want me. Maybe throwing all the cash at Sean was stupid, but I had to do it. I don’t turn back. I don’t look behind me. I already know Sean isn’t there. He doesn’t love me.
As I walk along the sidewalk in a daze, a car rolls up next to me. It’s late. I don’t notice at first. It isn’t until the window rolls down and I hear a voice that I turn and glance at the car. The wind whips my hair, sending the strands flying every which way. My heels are in my hand. I’m walking along wearing nothing on my feet but stockings. The cold ground burns through the silk. It’s one of the only things I can feel in the storm of pain. It’s consuming me, swallowing me whole.
This is why I had no relationships. I lied to myself and said I avoided relationships because my schedule didn’t permit it, but that wasn’t true. I dodged relationships, because my heart couldn’t take it. I’ve lost enough people to make anyone lose their freaking mind, but somehow I manage to keep going.
“Miss Stanz,” a male voice calls from the car.
I can see his face through the open window. He’s one of the guys that were with Miss Black the first time Sean set off my bracelet.
I stare at him. The wind stings my eyes, making them water, but I don’t blink. The car stops rolling and the man steps out a moment later. He’s enormous, all muscle and strength. I say nothing.
His eyes sweep over my face like he knows what made me like this. “Are you hurt?” I shake my head. He reaches forward for my shoes. I hand them over. Then, he extends his elbow like a gentleman and escorts me to the car.
As we slip into the backseat, he reminds me, “You can’t leave the premises without notifying our employer. You were lucky last time.” His tone changes and I know that I’m in trouble.
One time is forgivable, but two times is not. I just nod and stare out the window.
The man doesn’t say much until we’re approaching Miss Black’s building. “Listen, I don’t know what your story is or why you did what you did, but this job isn’t for people who can’t hold their shit together. It’s an act. The women who understand that survive. The ones who don’t learn that lesson get crippled. There’s no such thing as ‘just sex,’ Miss Stanz. At the same time, that’s what you need to think in order to excel at this job.”
I blink at him. Surprise flashes across my face. Why is he telling me this? “Am I that transparent?”
The corner of his mouth pulls up. Apparently so. He tells me, “You can’t fall in love with them. You won’t make it. Figure out a way to harden your heart. Don’t let them in, ever.”
The car has stopped. Taking a deep breath, I lean forward to get out. I look at the guy and say, “Thank you.”
“For what?” he asks. The expression on his face says that the other girls don’t talk to him much. He seems surprised that I said anything.
I shrug. “For finding me and helping me out. I’m not cut out for this, but there’s no other way.”
His dark eyes seem too gentle for someone so thuggish looking. He glances at the building and then back at me. I get the feeling that he shouldn’t be talking to me at all, never mind telling me what he’s about to say. “When you go inside, Black is going to reprimand you. Take it. Don’t blubber or give her any backtalk and she’ll keep you around. Make excuses and she’ll kick you to the curb.” He doesn’t say anything else. Instead, he pulls the car door open and exits to the sidewalk.
I slip out after him and give a subtle nod of thanks. I can’t lose this job. He hands me my heels and I slip them back on. My stockings are ruined. There are runs up the legs from walking around barefoot.
Taking a deep breath, I walk into the building and head to the elevator. I steel myself. Black’s going to be pissed. I decide to follow the guard’s instructions. I can’t get fired. I can’t. My nerves are beyond shot. I feel numb, like I’ve been slapped one too many times. Life keeps bitch-slapping me, but I keep getting up.
The elevator takes me up and stops at the seventeenth floor. I step off and walk into the office. There are hardly any lights on. I make my way to the back, to Miss Black’s desk. I turn to walk into her office, but no one is there.
Someone clears their throat behind me. I whirl around and see Black sitting on the couch with a cup of coffee in her hands. Her slender legs are crossed at the knee. She looks regal, and pissed. “Never—and I mean never—has a client called and requested a different girl. What did you do, Avery? What could you have possibly done that upset the client so much that he tossed you out in the middle of your appointment?” Her dark eyes are hard. They bore into me like I’m the most irritating person she’s ever met. She works her jaw. I can tell Miss Black wants to scream, but she restrains herself.
Apathy. I need to not care. I need to say it’s my fault and convince her that I won’t mess up anything else. My gaze is on the carpet. I don’t look up as I speak. “It was my fault. I did something that reminded Mr. Ferro of someone. It unnerved him. There’s no excuse for it. I take full responsibility for my actions.”
This isn’t what she expected to hear. Black puts down her mug and sits up straight, unfolding her legs as she does so. “You remind him of someone?” I nod. “How do you know?”
“He told me the night before.”
Black is quiet for a moment. Her eyes sweep over
me as she thinks. I can tell she still wants to chew me out. “Why didn’t you wait at the hotel for the car? After Mr. Ferro called me, I hung up and called you. You didn’t answer your phone and you left the grounds. I had to send Gabe to find you.”
I swallow hard. I don’t know what to say, so I tell her the truth. “I didn’t know what to do. It’s my fault. I didn’t answer my phone, because I was afraid you were going to fire me.” Black stares at me. I feel her gaze on my face. Her anger is palpable. It hangs in the air, thick as the evening fog. I finally look up at her. “I need this job.”
Miss Black stands and walks up to me. Her arms are folded across her chest. Her eyes narrow to slits, so that I can barely see her eyes. She’s like a tiger waiting to rip me to shreds, but I don’t cower. I don’t back down. Her voice is level when she asks, “Why should I keep you?”
Desperation climbs up my throat and chokes me. This is it. She’s going to fire my ass and there’s nothing that I can do about it. I’ll be living in a cardboard box with a broken heart for the rest of my life. I can’t process this. I can’t grasp the size of my mistake, my mistake of trusting Sean, of telling how I felt. I poured out my soul and he acted like I puked on his shoes. My mouth goes dry. I lick my lips and form an answer in my mind.
When I speak, I sound like I’m begging, probably because I am. My voice comes out in a rush. “Because I’ll do anything. Because I won’t remind everyone of someone they loved. Because—”
Miss Black cuts me off, “Oh, Avery, shut up.” Black pinches the bridge of her nose as though she has the world’s worst headache.
My heart pounds harder. Could this get more fucked up than it already is? I can’t get fired, I just can’t. I see my life ending and everything I worked so hard for fluttering away. I swallow hard.
Her dark eyes are narrowed like she wants to rip my head off. She stares at me like that for a few moments. Then she unfolds her arms that were plastered tightly to her chest. Taking my chin in her hands, Black tilts my face up so that our gazes connect. “I should fire you for this. I should let you go without a penny and not feel one bit of remorse.”
I look into her eyes wondering how she got to where she is now. I wonder about the guy that got away. I wonder if she’s alone because she wants to be or if it’s because this job fucked with her mind and not just her body. It’s a price that I didn’t consider. I never thought I’d fall in love. I never thought things could come to this.
I inhale slowly and resist the urge to ball my fingers into fists. My world is falling apart. I need this job, but I won’t beg again. We stare each other down. I don’t look away and neither does she. Neither of us speaks. It’s like a showdown and I know that at any second, Black will draw and I’ll be dead. There are no more chances. I blew it. I messed up and this is the price. Miss Black presses her eyes shut and sighs. When she looks at me again, her livid expression softens. She shakes her head and her arms fall to her sides. The fight spills from her body and I can finally breathe again.
Miss Black paces away from me and pours herself more coffee. Without looking up, she says, “It would be a pity to throw you away. There’s such potential. I see it in your eyes.” She turns, stirring the hot liquid and regards me. “But, you’re a hollow shell. The only thing keeping your neck above water is your defiance, your utter refusal to give up. If you gave that last piece of resistance to me, I could turn your life into a dream, but you’re insolent, Avery. I told you to keep your personal life out of this.” Black takes a sip of the coffee in her hands and then sets it down. She paces, thinking.
Every inch of my body is fighting me. I want to scream that it isn’t my fault. I want to say that Sean duped me, that he made me think he cared, but he doesn’t. All those words are toxic. If I say them, I’ll never work for Miss Black again, so I work my jaw and try not to react. I wonder if she knows the extent of my stupidity—I wonder if Sean told her what I said. Panic races through my veins, but I stay still. I keep the fear from clouding my eyes with tears. I lock it down and bite my tongue before I can do any more damage.
Miss Black’s frustrated gaze cuts to mine, and she stops in her tracks. Pointing a perfectly manicured finger at me, she says, “You will do exactly what I tell you. You will take the clients that I give you and thank me for it. You have no say in anything anymore. Do you understand?” I nod, even though I’m not sure what she intends to do with me. I know I’m lucky, though.
Something in Miss Black’s gaze changes and I know she’s decided to keep me around. She extends her hand to me. “Give back the money from tonight, and let’s move on.”
Damn. She can’t be serious. My face pinches in confusion. “Give it back?”
Black snaps her fingers and thrusts her hand at me. “Yes. You didn’t finish your job. You can’t honestly tell me that you think you should be paid as if you did?” She arches an eyebrow at me and wiggles her fingers impatiently, waiting for me to slap the cash in her hand.
I need this job, but I can’t fathom not getting paid. I mean to control my temper, but I can’t. I step toward her and look down at her palm, and then up into her face. “Yes, I think I should be paid and the reason is really simple—he fucked me. He used me more than once. I was with him for two nights, letting him have his way with me. To reiterate—he had sex with me and yes, I want to be paid for that.” My muscles tense. It’s everything I can do to maintain an ounce of composure and not scream in her face.
This is Sean’s fault. If he didn’t send me back, this wouldn’t have happened.
Miss Black looks irritated. She folds her arms back over her chest as I speak. Her neck is gracefully tipped to the side. Black lets me speak, never blinking. The muscle in her jaw twitches, like she wants to yell. She holds up a single finger and responds. “You were with him one night. Tonight, he threw you out and asked for a refund.”
I try so hard to contain my anger. It wants to burst from my lips and spew horrible things everywhere. I’m so mad that I’m shaking. I counter, “I’m not a virgin anymore and it’s his fault. I can’t demand that price again. And I can’t help that I reminded Mr. Ferro of the person he was trying to forget. I deserve at least half of my payment.”
Black steps toward me with fury in her eyes, but I don’t back down. Her nose is a fraction of an inch from mine. “You don’t deserve a damn thing. You work here because I say you can. You fuck who I say you will. You have no rights, no recourse. If I don’t think you should be paid, you won’t be… However, some of your arguments are reasonable. I will let you keep a third of your fee. That’s it. Which means the money I gave you tonight needs to be given back.”
My heart sinks. The hollow spot in my chest aches. This whole thing makes Sean’s rejection so much worse. It hammers in the fact that I’m a whore and I totally pissed off my pimp. What do I do? I glance away, but Black doesn’t back off. Sensing that I’ll lose this job completely, I give in. I take a breath and let the tension roll out of my shoulders.
I look up at her. “Fine, but I spent the money you gave me. It’s already gone.”
Black’s eyes go wide. It was a lot of cash. “How? You went straight to work.” Black’s eyes dart to my purse, like she doesn’t believe me. It’s sitting in the chair across from her desk.
I reach for the handbag and open the top. “Look for yourself. I don’t have the money. I spent it all.” I hand her my purse, but Black just stares at me. After a second, she takes my bag and looks inside. I have two dollars and some change. Nothing else. I threw the rest of that money in Sean’s face.
Black makes a growling sound at the back of her throat. “Fine.” She thrusts the purse back at me. “If that’s the way you want to play, then you owe me. You’ll be working for free until you pay your debt off.”
I nod, because that’s all I can do. “You’ll get back every cent you gave me.”
Miss Black laughs. The sound makes my skin crawl. “Yes I will, because if you try to short me, Avery, I will take it out on you in a w
ay that you couldn’t possibly fathom.” There’s darkness in her eyes that sends a chill up my spine.
I believe her.
2
Two dollars. I only have two dollars, and I have to get by for at least five days. I rest my forehead on the steering wheel of my car. It has a full tank of gas, thank God. I drive back to the dorm with white smoke blowing in my face. The heater isn’t on, so I’m not sure what’s going on. By the time I pull into a parking spot and stall, I smell like a chimney.
Racing up the stairs, I try to avoid Mel and go straight to my room. But, as I’m fumbling through my bag for the keys she sees me. “Hey, white girl. What are you doing home already? I thought—”
I don’t look up at her. I try to find the keys faster, but I can’t. Mel is a few steps from me when I finally lose it. Taking the bag, I turn on my heel and hurl it at the wall. Her words stop. Mel stops. She stares at me as I let out a strangled sob, and slam my back into the wall. Sliding down, I hold my face in my hands and the tears start. I wish they wouldn’t. Not now. I was almost inside. Almost.
Mel rushes toward me and kneels next to me on the floor. I hear her footfalls and sense her presence, but don’t look up. There are more people now. I feel their eyes on me. They linger, staring at the girl having a breakdown in the hallway.
Mel snaps at them, “Move the fuck on. There’s nothing to see here.” Too many shoes hustle by, muttering under their breath about Mel’s manners. Her hand rests gently on my shoulder. “Come on, Avery. Don’t do this here. And, you sure as hell can’t go into your room. Amber’s in there with—God, I don’t even want to tell you.
“Just come on. Let’s go back to my room for the night. It’ll be just you and me. You can stuff your face with ice cream and Ambien. Come on.” Mel grabs my arm and pulls me up.
I stand, but it feels like I’m made of paper-thin glass. I wipe the tears streaming down my cheeks with the back of my hand. It leaves a black smear of mascara on my skin. I look like a freaky clown, but I don’t care. Mel grabs my purse and picks up the lipstick and other crap that flew out when it hit the wall. Quickly, she gathers my things and then pulls me back to her room. By the time we get there, my face is covered in snot. I want to fall apart. I don’t want to keep going anymore. I fall into the chair and bury my face in the arm and never get up.