“Especially not with Jacob,” I said, shaking my head fervently. “I never felt anything like this for him. I’ve never felt anything like this for anyone. Until you.” I lifted my head to meet his eyes. “I know it might seem stupid and old fashioned, but I was always taught I should wait for my husband. My parents were so overprotective and I never wanted to do anything that would upset them. Before Jacob, I’d barely even dated at all. This is all just so new to me.”
Evan’s eyes went soft. He pulled me close and pressed a kiss to the very center of my forehead.
“I understand,” he said. “We don’t have to move fast. We can take as much time as you need.”
Tears did fill my eyes then. I threw my arms around his neck and clung to him.
“How are you so patient, and kind, and— and just perfect?” I blurted.
He chuckled and cupped the back of my head, letting me bury my face in his neck.
“I suppose I’ve had lots of practice,” he said wryly.
I made a questioning noise, but he just shook his head.
“It doesn’t matter,” he said. “I just want you to know that there’s no pressure. I don’t want to rush you into anything until you’re ready.”
“I really do like you,” I said. “And I really do want to—” I cut myself off with a flush. He was right. If I couldn’t even say the words out loud, I clearly wasn’t ready.
But Evan was patient. And he was kind. And he was willing to wait.
He was willing to wait for me.
13
“You made that dress yourself?” I asked Lizzy.
“She sure did,” Evan answered. “This bar thing is only Lizzy’s part-time gig as she works on her own fashion line. Give Alice a little show,” he urged.
Lizzy twirled around so I could see the whole outfit, front to back. It was a skater dress style with a zig-zag striped pattern.
“It’s super cute,” I told her.
“You like it?” she asked, sounding pleased. “It’s one of the pieces I’m going to use for a photoshoot. Grant’s taking the pictures, of course.” Lizzy gave her boyfriend a fond look as he prepared his work station at the other end of the bar.
“Grant’s a photographer?” I asked.
“He does a lot of work for magazines,” Lizzy nodded. “He’s had his stuff in some art gallery showings, too.”
“That’s incredible,” I said. “Everyone here has some kind of amazing talent.”
I hadn’t meant to sound so despondent, but Evan heard it in my voice anyway. He threw an arm around my shoulders.
“Don’t feel bad,” he said. “Mason’s shit at everything.”
“I heard that,” Mason called out from the back.
Evan just grinned.
We hadn’t said anything to the others about us yet. I wasn’t sure exactly what there was to tell. Evan said we’d take things slow. Did that mean we were dating, or not? Were we officially in a relationship?
I had close to zero experience with this kind of stuff, and I wasn’t really sure how to approach the subject with Evan. Sure, I was inexperienced, but I didn’t want to keep reminding him of that.
Instead of agonizing over it, though, I decided to simply let things unfold naturally. I would do and say whatever felt comfortable to me at the time and hope for the best.
“I wish I was good at something like you guys,” I said.
“What are you talking about?” Evan said. “You’re an amazing model.”
“My legs cramped up from posing and I fell over,” I reminded him.
“You model?” Lizzy asked with interest.
“Not really,” I said. “I was just helping Evan with one of his book cover things. He needed a reference model.”
“And she did an awesome job, by the way,” he said.
A spark of interest lit up in Lizzy’s eyes. She crossed her arms over her chest and sized me up with a keen eye.
“You’ve got the right shape,” she mused. “You’d probably fit into my outfits perfectly.” She nodded to herself, seeming to come to a decision about something. “I need more models for my photoshoot later next week. Would you be interested?”
Model? For an actual, professional photoshoot?
“I don’t know,” I said hesitantly. Despite what Evan had said, I didn’t know if I’d done very well at posing for his sketches.
“Does it pay?” Evan jumped in.
“It does,” Lizzy said.
He nudged me in the ribs lightly with his elbow.
“What do you say?” he asked. “It could be fun. Plus, money,” he added.
It was true, I could use the extra money. I was saving up everything I made at Sin and Tonic, but since they kept me away from the customer service aspect, I didn’t exactly rake in the kind of tips the others did.
“It doesn’t matter that I’ve never done anything like this before?” I asked Lizzy.
“Nope,” she said. “We’re mostly doing product shots. Your face doesn’t even have to be in the photos if you don’t want.”
I still had my reservations but… money.
“Okay,” I said. “I’ll do it. Thank you.”
“Great!” Lizzy chirped. I’ll text you the details.”
“Maybe this can be your thing,” Evan said. “You can be a model.”
“I don’t want to imagine what my parents would say about that.”
They’d probably say something about it being superficial and unladylike. They’d say I was throwing away everything they’d done for me so I could go show off my body shamelessly.
Funnily enough, thinking about what my parents might say made me want to do it even more. I was finally free of them, finally free of their control. I could do whatever I wanted with my life.
I didn’t know if that was modeling or something else, but it felt good to explore my options.
“You’re sitting there with a pleased look on your face,” Evan whispered in my ear. “Care to share with the class?”
“I was just thinking about how nice it is to have my freedom,” I told him. “I never realized how trapped I felt before. I didn’t know life could be any different. And now…”
“And now?” Evan prompted.
His arm was still around my shoulder. I placed my hand over his.
“And now I’m realizing just how lucky I am to have escaped.”
I snuck a glance around the bar, but Lizzy had gone back to swiping at the tables. I interlaced Evan’s fingers with mine.
“Every day, I think about how lucky I am that I found you,” I said. “I could have ended up in any old bar that day, but for some reason, I stumbled into Sin and Tonic. I stumbled into you.”
“You didn’t quite stumble so much as fall out of your chair into my waiting arms.”
“How cliche of me.”
We shared a secret smile.
Mason came out of the backroom with some papers, and we quickly separated. Mason didn’t look our way as he cleared his throat.
“The first person should be here soon,” he said. “You guys ready to start grilling?”
Evan had told me they were interviewing for a new bartender to help cover Grant and Lizzy’s shifts. Masson wanted them all there to get their opinions, especially Evan. If they were all going to be working closely together, it was important to make sure they’d all get along.
I wasn’t going to be involved, but I’d needed a ride so I’d come in early with Evan before the bar opened.
Mason handed out a stack of resumes so each of them could assess the potential employees before they got there. To my surprise, Mason handed me a few papers as well, but it wasn’t a resume.
“You were able to fix Lizzy’s problem with the new tip calculation system,” he started. “I was hoping maybe you could take a look at this spreadsheet? It’s for our ordering system, but somehow the numbers aren’t adding up, no matter how many times I do it.”
I took the papers cautiously.
“You really want m
e to help with this?” I asked.
“These guys go green at the sight of spreadsheets,” he said, jabbing a thumb at the others. “Artistic types, you know? They faint at the sight of numbers.”
All three of them protested loudly, looking offended. I stifled a laugh.
“Okay,” I told him. “I’ll take a look. No promises, though.”
The door to the bar chimed as someone walked in.
“Hello?” a woman called out. “I’m here for the interview?”
I glanced up from the papers. My jaw dropped.
The woman had bright, fire-engine red hair, beautiful deep blue eyes, a handful of piercings, and a sleeve of tattoos down one arm. She was the coolest looking person I’d ever seen in my life, and she attracted every bit of attention from simply walking into the room.
Mason welcomed her in and gestured for her to take a seat at one of the tables.
“We’ll be over here interviewing,” Mason told me. “You can use my office while you look over the numbers.”
I was a little taken aback at how much faith Mason had in me. I had fixed the other system, though. Maybe this would be similar?
I took the papers to the back and started going through them. I didn’t understand what any of the numbers meant, not at first. But I didn’t give up. I took my time and looked over the spreadsheets, taking notes on a spare pad of paper. Eventually, I thought I had a handle on what was going on. I didn’t want to screw up and end up causing more mistakes than I fixed.
I looked out the office door to the bar. They were still interviewing. Evan caught my eye. I gave him a little wave. He threw me a covert wink and a thumbs up.
You’ll do great, he mouthed to me.
My heart beat a rapid little trill. When was the last time anyone had encouraged me like this? When had anyone had believed in me like this? When had anyone believed in me at all?
I shuffled the papers again as my heart swelled.
Evan believed in me.
Maybe it was time to start believing in myself.
14
Since Evan and I had come in early, Mason let us take off before the bar closed. That meant we actually got to have an early evening to ourselves.
“What do you say we have a date night?” Evan asked as we kicked off our shoes in the front hallway of his apartment.
I couldn’t stop a silly grin from spreading across my face.
“I’d love that,” I told him. “What should we do?”
“Dinner and movie?” he suggested. “I’ll do the cooking,” he was quick to add.
I made a face but had to agree that letting me touch the stove again was probably a bad choice.
“Can I watch you?” I asked. “Maybe I can learn a few things.”
“You could chop veggies, or watch the pasta so it doesn’t boil over,” he said. “As long as you promise not to slice open your hand with the knife or drop the pot of boiling water all over the floor.”
“Oh. Um.” I winced. “Maybe it’s best if I sit this out, actually.”
Evan hooked an arm around my waist and pulled me in close with a chuckle.
“You can keep me company from a distance,” he said.
“I’m sorry I’m so useless,” I said.
“Don’t beat yourself up,” he said. “Not everyone can cook.”
“It’s not just cooking,” I said. “I don’t feel like I’m good at pretty much anything.”
“You helped Mason today,” he pointed out. “I heard him say you found the problem.”
“You’re right.” I straightened my back, feeling a bit better. “I did.”
“See?” Evan said as he pulled ingredients out of the fridge. “You’re not useless. You just need to find out what you are good at. Don’t stress about it. You’ll find your way.”
I came up behind him and wrapped my arms around his chest.
“You’re wonderful,” I told him.
He put his hands on mine.
“Your family really did a number on you, didn’t they?” he said.
I stared at the back of his head.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“I just have to wonder what your parents must have been like, how they must have raised you, for you to have such little faith in yourself.”
My lips dipped down into a frown as I pressed my cheek to Evan’s back.
“My parents weren’t terrible,” I said. “They gave me anything I ever wanted.”
“But did they give you what you needed?” he asked.
I let my arms fall and backed away. Evan turned so we were face to face.
“I don’t know,” I said truthfully. “I don’t know what a normal childhood is like, so I don’t know what I missed out on, if anything. I know how privileged I was. I couldn’t possibly complain about how I was raised.”
“Your parents wanted to marry you off to some guy you didn’t love because of, what, some business merger?” Evan’s brows drew down sadly. “That’s not normal. That’s something out of the feudal times, you know that, right?”
“It’s not as bad as you’re making it sound,” I said. “It was just that, if Jacob and I got married, then all our assets would have been combined. And since he was the oldest son and his family’s business was going to be passed down to him…” I shrugged. “You see?”
“No,” he said. “I don’t see at all.” Evan cupped my face and touched his forehead to mine. “I’m glad you got away from them.” His lips were inches from mine. “I’m glad you found your way into Sin and Tonic.” He gave me a little smile. “I’m glad you passed out on me. It let me play the knight in shining armor, saving the princess in her time of need,” he teased gently.
“Did you also slay the big bad dragon?” I teased back.
“I faced down your dragon breath with courage, I’ll tell you that.”
I reeled back in horror and clapped a hand over my mouth.
“Oh no,” I groaned. “I knew my breath was bad that morning. It felt like I’d been sprayed inside the mouth by a skunk. I’m sorry.”
Evan just laughed and went back to getting ingredients out of the fridge.
“At least you didn’t puke on me,” he said. “I was half expecting you to hurl all over my shoes.”
“Gross.” I wrinkled my nose.
“It wouldn’t have been the first time,” he said easily. “It comes with the territory. We usually cut people off before they get too wasted, but every once in a while we get a total lightweight who doesn’t know their limits.”
“I bet you have a lot of interesting stories, being a bartender.” I took a seat on the kitchen table to watch Evan work, far away from any risk of knives or red hot stovetops.
“Like you wouldn’t believe,” he said. “This one time, some guy walks in with a snake, right? One of those big, thick ones, too, not a tiny little garden snake. And it’s all wrapped around his neck like it’s a scarf. So he sits down like nothing’s out of the ordinary and—”
I rested my chin my hands and nodded along with a smile as Evan regaled me with his stories. His retellings were funny as he used his hands to wave and gesture wildly. He was able to take the most mundane situations and make them sound amusing.
I had to wonder what kind of story he would tell about me in the future. The crying, runaway bride who passed out in his arms, too drunk to stand on her own two feet. The freeloading pampered princess who crashed at his house because she had nowhere else to go. It sounded sad and pathetic when I thought about it, but I had no doubt Evan would be able to take my entire situation and turn it into a sympathetic but entertaining tale.
I wondered how the story would end. How my story would end. Where exactly was I headed in life? What kind of adventures were to come? How was this whole thing going to turn out? Would I actually get a happily-ever-after, like all those fictional princesses did?
I wanted that. I wanted that so badly. After suppressing my own wants, and needs, and desires my whole life, the only thing I t
ruly wanted now was to be happy.
“—So he looks at me and goes, how about five bucks instead?”
Evan laughed uproariously, and I joined in as he told the punch line. He had managed to distract me from thoughts of my parents, and he’d done it so easily I hadn’t even noticed.
He held me when I was upset. He encouraged me when I was feeling lost. He was kind, and he was patient.
He was everything I hadn’t known I’d wanted. Everything I hadn’t known I’d needed.
And that was when I knew.
I knew exactly how I wanted my story to end.
I wanted my own happily-ever-after with Evan.
“So what movie do you want to watch?” he asked after we’d finished eating dinner.
“I’m more of a TV show kind of person,” I told him. “Do you mind if we binge something?”
“I’m always up for a good binging,” he replied.
“Do you mind watching a show that’s kind of fluffy and fun?” I asked. “I don’t know if I’m in the mood for anything suspenseful or dramatic.”
“I know just the thing.”
We settled onto the sofa as Evan put on some cute animated show. It was about a post-apocalyptic world where humans lived underground, which might have sounded the exact opposite of what I was in the mood for, but the show focused on a young girl who found herself on the surface and was amazed by all the wonderful, amazing things she’d never known existed above ground. It was all about her discovering a whole wide world of adventure beyond her own limited experiences.
In other words, it was a familiar narrative that hit close to home. I didn’t doubt Evan had chosen that show specifically because of me.
He put an arm around me and tugged me into his side. I snuggled up against him, tucking my feet under me and resting my head on his shoulder. The heat of his body seeped into me, warming me to my core. An earthy-sweet aroma surrounded me, something almost like a combination of citrus and freshly cut grass. I inhaled deeply, wanting to take my fill of Evan’s scent.
He began tracing small circles along my hip absentmindedly, the rhythm oddly in sync with the TV show’s soundtrack. It was kind of cute, watching him unconsciously keep tempo with the background music.
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