by Lori Wick
“Hello,” Nikolai said jovially. “Need a fourth?”
“No,” she answered quietly. “We have four.”
“Oh.” Nikolai was momentarily defeated. “I’ll caddie,” he offered, recovering swiftly.
Shelby’s eyes grew huge. “There is no need,” she said, barely keeping her voice calm. “Really there isn’t.”
“I don’t mind.” He grinned like a schoolboy and reached for the handle of her cart. With his free hand he shook hands with the two other ladies, both of whom he’d known for years. Just after this, they were joined by the fourth in the party, a woman who also knew the prince and whose smile matched those of the first two women.
“Go ahead,” Shelby said when greetings had been exchanged all around. “I’ll be right along.” Shelby waved and smiled as if all was fine. “Don’t you have something else to do, Nick?” she asked pointedly.
“Not for at least four hours. Isn’t it nice that I saw you?”
Shelby’s look was telling. “So nice that I could pinch you,” she muttered.
“Feel free,” Nikolai said quietly, a smile lighting his eyes as his wife turned away. “But I might pinch back.”
“Enjoy it, Shelby,” Vickey said on the thirteenth green. “Most women would kill to have such an attentive husband.”
“I don’t know what’s come over him.”
“He certainly seems to be enjoying himself.”
At this point Shelby had to smile. It was very clear that Prince Nikolai was enjoying himself. For all of his huge size, he would study the fairways like an earnest child and then solemnly hand Shelby a club, practically hugging her when she did well.
The other three women, all councilmen’s wives, looked on in clear enjoyment as the prince’s eyes followed Shelby’s every move.
They played the full 18 holes. Shelby was bemused for most of the time, until she remembered that Nikolai had been moving closer to her before Mr. Owens’ death. All she could think was that he must be making up for lost time. She didn’t know if she was flattered or intimidated.
“Thank you, Nick,” she said as the women finished and prepared to eat lunch. The two had a moment alone.
“You’re welcome. You played well.”
Shelby smiled a little.
“Maybe sometime you and I could golf together.”
Shelby had never seen him look so vulnerable. It was heartbreaking. With a hand to his chest, she went up on her toes to kiss his cheek.
“We’ll do that,” she said softly and smiled into his eyes.
Shelby went into lunch and even enjoyed herself, but her mind was a tad preoccupied. Deep in her heart she knew that the time had come.
Sixteen
Nikolai was sitting against his headboard the next night, a book in hand, when the knock came. Thinking he was hearing things, he paused. Before he could go back to his reading, it sounded again.
“Come in,” he called, watching in amazement as the door between his and Shelby’s room opened. The only light shining was over his bed, but he could still see the way she came in, shut the door, and leaned against it. Nikolai stared at her for a moment, got off the bed, and went to stand before her.
“I didn’t know if I should call or just come in,” Shelby admitted softly.
“You’re welcome either way.”
Shelby nodded, and Nikolai took in her attire. She had shorts on and a long baseball shirt. He thought she looked adorable.
“May I tell you something, Nikolai?”
“Certainly.”
Shelby took a deep breath. “I’m terrified,” she barely whispered, effectively breaking her husband’s heart.
“Oh, Red.” Nikolai’s voice was low, and a moment later he reached for her. Shelby sighed when his arms went around her. It was so much easier to have him touch her.
Nikolai found it easier too. Until she’d admitted that she was frightened, he hadn’t wanted to assume why she’d come to him. To finally have her permission to hold her was one of the sweetest things he’d ever known. And when he kissed her, it was sweeter still.
Shelby was amazed at his gentle touch and found herself smiling up at him.
“I should have known you would be nice.”
Nikolai’s smile matched her own. He spoke with his hand on her hair. “I should have known you would be amazingly soft.”
Shelby laughed a little, thinking it was a lovely note to begin on. She was also very glad she had come.
“The prince gave me this as he left this morning,” Murdock said as he handed a note to his wife.
First studying her husband’s face, Fran opened it slowly and read. Murdock, Princess Shelby is in my room. Please let her sleep.
Fran raised shining eyes to her spouse. Murdock smiled down at her before he leaned to give her a kiss.
Shelby stretched luxuriously, a groan escaping her, before she remembered where she was. Turning to look at Nikolai, she found herself alone save for the note that lay on his pillow. After Shelby pushed up against the headboard, she opened it.
Do you ever notice the timing of things? It had been on my mind several times yesterday to tell you I had to be away for a few days, but I kept forgetting. I had just about decided to call you when you knocked on the door.
Please know, Shelby, that leaving you this morning was very hard. I’m in Enstrom, meeting with the committee on budget cuts and taxes, but remembering your sweetness is going to make it very hard to concentrate. Looking forward to seeing you Friday or Saturday…
Nick
Shelby read the note over twice and sat thinking about the changes that would follow in the days and weeks to come. She suddenly didn’t want to stay in bed much longer. The princess had an urge to see her mother.
“What’s this?” Shelby asked as Daria put a large wrapped box in her lap.
“Something I bought you before you married, but the timing was all wrong.”
This was all Daria would say, so Shelby opened the box. She pulled out the two loveliest peignoir sets she had ever seen. One set was a soft peach; the other, a pale mint green.
“Oh, Mother.”
“Do you think Nick will like them?”
Shelby smiled. “He didn’t seem to mind my shorts and baseball shirt, so he’ll probably love these.”
Daria’s smile was huge. “You knocked on his door wearing shorts and a baseball shirt?”
Shelby shrugged, trying not to blush but not succeeding. She laughed a little and said, “I don’t think he cared.”
“Of course he didn’t.” Daria’s voice was gentle. She studied Shelby’s bent head for a moment. “Are you all right, Shelby?” she asked quietly.
The princess looked at her mother. She knew the question stemmed from what she had shared that morning, but Shelby’s mind went elsewhere.
“I don’t have anyone to talk to.”
Daria nodded. “Your father and I realize that. Your loyalty to the palace keeps you from coming home to us with your questions and concerns, but then you haven’t had a husband you could talk to either.” Daria couldn’t stop the tears that filled her eyes.
“We can see the loneliness written all over you, Shelby. I can only hope and pray that it’s coming to an end.”
Shelby reached to hug and kiss this woman who was so dear to her.
“Shelby,” Daria said as soon as they separated, “loyalty to the crown or not, you must tell me if you’re all right.”
“I am, Mother, honestly. Nikolai had to leave town, but to be frank with you, I’m glad for a little time on my own. It’s a lot to think about.”
There was so much Daria could have said, even more questions she could have asked, but this was not something she could do. Shelby must lead the way in this issue, and right now she was ready to be silent. It did her heart good to have Shelby come to her. They enjoyed a meal together and talked of plans for the holidays. When Shelby left, Daria reminded her that the door in Henley was always open.
Nikolai had worked ha
rd on Thursday, bending his mind to the tasks of the committee and even into the dinner conversation that evening, but now he was in his own room at the chairman’s house and able to give way to other thoughts, namely, Shelby’s words from the night before.
I think I am ready for this change between us, Nick—as much as I’m able to discern. And like you, I’m committed to this marriage and also desirous of children. But there’s one thing you must know. I won’t say “I love you” until I’m sure I mean it, and I want you to do the same for me.
Nikolai had certainly agreed and thanked her for her wise words, but now, this evening, he was left alone with his thoughts. These two women, Yvette and Shelby, both of whom he’d known such a short time and who had played and did play such major roles in his life, were like warring factions within him.
Nikolai’s eyes closed with a sigh. Yvette is receding from my mind, Lord, and yet I still feel I love her. I can’t honestly tell You what I feel for Shelby. Nikolai sat by the open window and looked over the lights of the city, his heart in a quandary. I care, Father. I care so much. I want to take such good care of Shelby. I want to see her obedient, blessed, and happy, but I’m not able to say those three little words. She was wise to put the subject right on the table. If we keep it open, I think we’ll make it.
Nikolai suddenly realized how tired he was. He had a full day ahead of him, possibly two, and he owed it to the committee to be at his best.
I would love the luxury of talking to You all night about this, but right now I must rest and be at peace in You.
Nikolai was ready for bed and asleep less than 20 minutes later. He wasn’t anxious, but Shelby was still very much on his mind.
“What are you thinking?” Erica asked Rafe softly, but she received no answer. The queen stared at her husband in the reflection of the mirror, but he still didn’t notice. She had been readying for bed when he joined her in the bathroom, kissing the top of her head and then sitting on the edge of the bathtub without speaking. Erica was at her dressing table, thinking he’d come about some particular issue, but he only sat, seemingly in another world.
“Rafe?” she tried again.
“Yes?”
“Did you need something?”
“No. I was just lost in thought.”
Erica turned from the mirror to look at him. “Anything you can talk about?”
He finally looked at her. “Do you know how Nick and Shelby are doing?”
“I think well. They’re trying to spend more time together; I know that.”
Rafe nodded. “I planned to talk with Nicky this week, but he’s in Enstrom right now.”
“And you’re concerned because they didn’t travel together?”
“A little. None of the men take their wives to the committee meetings. It’s too intense. But I am wondering how much time they are spending together.”
“Maybe Shelby did go with him.”
“No, she didn’t. I saw her on her bike today.”
Erica had no reply. She had spoken with both Nikolai and Shelby separately within the last week, and both seemed very fine, quite happy even. Their conversations, however, had not ranged to the personal.
“Why don’t you give Nicky a call? He always stays at the chairman’s house.”
The king shook his head. “No. I’ll see him when he gets back.” Rafe’s eyes now went to his wife’s attire. She always looked beautiful to him, but tonight she had on red. He liked red.
“You look nice,” he said, knowing it was an understatement.
“Thank you,” she smiled. “I didn’t think you noticed.”
“I must remedy that,” he said softly as he went to her. The queen’s doubts flew as the king’s lips touched her own.
When Shelby had awakened and found herself alone in Nikolai’s room, she had exited through their adjoining door, innocently leaving it wide open. Because Nikolai had not been home, that was the way it was left. This was also the way the prince found it when he came home very late on Friday night. Indeed, after putting a light on, it was the first thing he noticed.
Not troubling to do any more than set his case down, Nikolai found a flashlight and went through the door. As he expected, Shelby was asleep in bed. Careful not to shine the light in her face, he went toward the bed and set the light on the nightstand to cast a glow over her. Because she was in the middle of the mattress, he was able to sit on the edge. She did not move, but that was all right. Nikolai was happy just to stare at her face and watch the way she curled around a pillow to sleep.
He didn’t know how long it was before he realized he needed his own bed, but one thing was certain: He took his cue from his wife and left the door open.
The next morning Shelby came from the bathroom wearing only her underthings, her mind already on the day. Nikolai might be home anytime, and she didn’t know if she should go out or cancel her appointments. She moved to the desk and checked her calendar, seeing that things were very free. She was scheduled to interpret the next morning in church and knew she would need to be fresh for that, so she was relieved the day was a relaxed one. Shelby was turning from the desk when she saw him. Leaning one shoulder against the doorjamb between their rooms, his hands stuffed into the pockets of his jeans, the prince stood and watched her.
“Nikolai!” Shelby cried in soft surprise as she backtracked and reached for the robe that was draped on the desk chair.
Nikolai pushed away from the jamb. In the time it took for him to come forward and kiss her, Shelby had knotted the belt at her waist.
“You’re blushing,” Nikolai noticed after he stood to full height.
Shelby shrugged and tried for nonchalance. “I’m not very used to having a man in my room when I’m not dressed.”
Nikolai was watching her very closely as he asked, “Even when the man is your husband?”
Shelby’s blush only deepened.
Nikolai’s heart sighed gently within him. On the way home he’d figured that they might still have walls to scale, and his wife’s red face told him he was very correct. He wished there was some way to tell her that he did not have a hidden agenda; neither would he ever rush her.
“You haven’t started to redecorate, I see.”
Shelby looked back to see him taking in her room. “No. I don’t seem to have the time right now.”
“What will you do?”
“I don’t know.” Shelby glanced around as well, glad for the change in subject.
“Maybe we should redo mine at the same time. Carry the theme through, if you know what I mean.”
Shelby looked up at him but wasn’t sure what to say. She suddenly remembered the way both Yvette and the queen had shared the same room with their husbands. Nikolai didn’t sound as though he was all too thrilled about such a plan, the way he was encouraging her to decorate both rooms. Shelby tried to be logical about it, but she couldn’t quite ignore the painful feeling of rejection.
“Shelby, what does that look on your face mean?”
“What look?” she asked back, trying to evade the question.
“That look of confusion or hurt—I don’t know which.”
Shelby was searching desperately for a reply when the phone rang. She brightened with relief.
“I have to get my phone.”
“I’ll get it,” Nikolai said, reaching around her and even taking the hand-piece from her. “Hello. Yes, she is here, Murdock. Is it urgent? In that case I’ll have her call you. All right. Goodbye.” Nikolai put the phone down and turned back to his wife. Shelby had angled her body away from him, but Nikolai moved to look at her face. When she wouldn’t look up at him, he sat on the edge of the desk, dropping his gaze to her level, and with hands to her waist, brought her to stand directly in front of him.
“I did a lot of thinking while I was gone, and I’ve come to one solid conclusion: We have to keep talking. It’s awkward and embarrassing at times, but we must keep at it.”
Shelby nodded but still didn’t speak for a mo
ment. Nikolai was on the verge of ordering her, not that that would have been helpful, when she seemed to come uncorked.
“I have to tell you something, Nikolai; I have to!” Shelby looked almost desperate now. “I’m afraid to even mention Yvette to you. I’m terrified of even thinking her name, let alone saying it. I’m so afraid that it will upset you or that you’ll tell me it’s none of my business. I mean, it should be my business, I’m your wife, but I don’t feel that it is.”
Nikolai put his hands on the backs of her upper arms and rubbed gently. The pink in her face had gone pale, and her features were strained. Nikolai found that it hurt him to know she was so upset. In truth, he didn’t want to discuss Yvette with Shelby, but that wasn’t fair to either of them.
“Tell me if this will work for you, Shelby: When you have a question about Yvette, just check with me about asking. At some times I feel more vulnerable in that area than at others. If you can check with me, then I think it will be less painful and uncertain for both of us.”
“I can do that,” Shelby told him, thinking she would say anything not to hurt him or have him mad at her.
“Good. Now, what did I say that made you think of Yvette?”
Shelby played with the belt on her robe, wishing she didn’t have to answer but still making an attempt. “It was just the way you mentioned the rooms. I don’t know if I can explain it more than that.”
Nikolai worked in his mind to grasp what she had said and finally asked, “Are you ready to move into my room, Shelby?”
The thought alone made Shelby blush. She immediately shook her head no.
“In that case,” Nikolai said, not seeing a need to tell her he wasn’t ready for that either, “we’ll start by leaving the door open and see how we like that.”