She faced him. “Jamie, why did you go through with the wedding?”
He sat on the bed holding the boot he’d just removed then set it on the floor. “No choice.”
What a maddening answer. She wanted to plant her fist on his handsome chin. Instead, she took a deep breath before speaking and exhaled slowly.
“Of course you had a choice. You’re the head of the family and could have refused and sent me back where I came from or set me up in town so I could meet someone else. Barring that, you could have paid me off and sent me to Denver. There’s always a choice.”
He shook his head as he started on his shirt buttons. “Not in this case. Any of those options would have caused talk. After you’d been here several nights, your reputation would have been compromised.”
“If I weren’t here, why would that matter to you?”
His hands stilled. “Ah, well, because Mama’s reputation would also have been damaged, as she pointed out to us boys.” He removed his shirt and hung it on the bedpost.
As she unfastened the ties of her petticoats, a horrible thought occurred to her and she froze. “Do you want more children?”
His powerful chest muscles rolled with a shrug. “Wouldn’t mind, now that we’re wed, but I was content with Jake and Cat. Matter of fact, earlier today I mentioned how nice life would be with us brothers taking our children to visit with their cousins.” He stood and unbuttoned his pants.
She turned her back and slid off her clothes then quickly pulled on her gown. “Weren’t you lonely?”
Her back was to him and she couldn’t see his expression, but his voice sounded hard, “Look, Olivia, you seem like a nice enough woman, attractive, and intelligent. Sorry as I am you were brought here under false pretenses, I don’t know what you expected to find.”
Attractive? Again she froze for a moment. He thought she was attractive and intelligent? When she turned around, he was sitting up in bed with the sheet at his hips. How could she concentrate on the conversation with all those rippling muscles and skin in sight?
Despairing of the situation, she admitted, “I wanted a husband who would grow to love me and who’d love the children we’d have together. From the letter I thought was from you, I wanted to be a mother to your children, to be your partner and friend as well as your lover.”
“I’ll love any children we have and you’re stepmother to my children. As for love, sorry but you’re out of luck there. You’ll have to be content with us being partners and friends. I’ve tried love and found it lacking. There’s no room in my life to love anyone but blood relations.”
She wanted to argue, but chose to keep her disappointment inside. What he offered was more than many women had. Coming halfway across the country to marry a man she’d never met, she’d known love might not follow. In fact, most of the journey had been spent wondering if she’d lost her mind.
Reading as much as she did, she’d learned horror stories of women who were met by criminals, violent men, even brothel owners. She’d been prepared to repay her fare and leave if necessary. Even so, she’d harbored a kernel of hope for a loving relationship.
Reality swept in and her closely-held dreams shattered. In spite of her normally practical nature, tears stung her eyelids. To hide her disappointment, she added another log to the fire while she dealt with the idea there would be no love.
She stood and scampered across the cold floor to the bed. “Other than warming your bed, what do you expect from me?”
“Help Mama around the house, look after Jake and Cat when I’m not here, and act as my hostess when we have guests. Oh, and you should take over Jake’s schooling.”
She folded the covers neatly over her. “There’s one other thing that’s important for the security of your children.”
His furrowed brow marred his handsome face. “Yeah? What’s that?”
“When the children are around, we have to appear united. No arguing in front of them. Otherwise, you merely confuse them and undermine me. If you disagree, you tell me in private and we’ll reach a compromise. Agreed?”
For a couple of minutes, he gazed at her as if undecided then nodded. “I can appreciate what you’re saying. Reckon that’s what my folks did.”
“All right, Jamie Fraser. We understand one another.” She extended her hand for him to shake.
Instead, he kissed her fingers then tugged her toward him. “You wasted your time getting into that nightgown.”
Later, as she lay beside her sleeping husband, she agreed that their coming together was pleasant. She appreciated that Jamie tried to please her as well as sate his lust. So why did she have an ache inside?
Already she’d accomplished most of her goals. Her husband snuggled next to her. They lived in a lovely, large home. With her marriage, she’d acquired two of the children for whom she’d longed. She even had a kind mother-in-law with a fun sense of humor.
Turning on her side, she hugged her arms. Calling herself a fool, she burrowed her cheek on her pillow. What she’d wanted was not for him to just satisfy his and her base needs, but for them to make love.
Would that day ever arrive?
***
Olivia rose early and slipped down to the kitchen. As wife of the eldest brother, she felt her responsibility to carry a substantial load of duties. More, she wanted to prove to Jamie that she’d meant what she said last night and wanted to be a good wife. She only hoped her assistance was welcome.
Milly was starting the coffee to boil. “Why, Olivia, what are you doing up so early?”
She tied on an apron. “I wanted to help with breakfast. Shall I make the biscuits while you start on the rest of the meal?”
A rumbling laugh bubbled from the cook. “If you’re willing, I’m not crazy enough to turn down your offer. Fact is, nice to have willing hands helping unlike some I could mention.”
Olivia took down a large pottery bowl and measured out flour. “If I get in the way, you say so. I come from a big family and sometimes I miss cooking.”
Milly sliced off bacon and laid the strips in the large cast iron skillet. “My younger sister Clara—she’s married to Sam Zimmerman who tends the meat and smokehouse—and I are our only family. ‘Course I feel like the Frasers are my family.”
“How long have you worked here?”
While steaks and bacon sizzled, she formed sausage patties. “Let’s see…twenty seven years last November. Don’t seem that long, but Jamie was just five and Caleb two when I came here to work.”
What a surprise to learn Milly had worked as a cook that long. “My goodness, Milly, I’m twenty seven now. When you started here I was two months old.”
“Pish posh, you’re still just a baby then.”
Olivia smiled at the other woman. “You must be mistaken. I’m a respectable married woman with two children.”
Fiona came in. “Lands sakes, did I oversleep?”
Milly added more bacon to the skillet as she removed crisp slices. “Don’t think so, Fiona. Olivia just beat you down here.”
Fiona picked up another bowl “I’ll mix the flapjack batter.”
Soon, the biscuits were done, bacon crisp, steak and sausage golden brown, flapjacks stacked high, and eggs scrambled. The aromas brought others in the house to the large kitchen table. Beth and Ethan arrived from their barn loft.
Soon they were all digging into a hearty breakfast and talking about the day’s plans.
Cat reached for the bread basket. “I need more biscuits.”
Jake grabbed two biscuits. “These are good. I’m gonna put my sausage inside and make a sandwich.”
Milly passed the butter and jelly to Cat. “Olivia made these biscuits. I’m sorry to admit they’re better than mine.”
Jamie regarded her with curiosity. “They are good. Guess that’s why Cat’s hair isn’t brushed and re-braided.”
Olivia’s smile faded. She was both angry and hurt. She didn’t know whether to yell at her husband or cry. He’d agreed last nigh
t not to criticize her in front of the children. She should have known she couldn’t trust a man to keep his word.
“James William Fraser, Junior, think before you speak.” Fiona reached over and slapped his shoulder. “Nothing like a left-handed compliment to make your wife feel her efforts were wasted.”
Gideon glared at his brother. “You were unfair, Jamie.”
Jamie looked at the angry stares from the other adults at the table. “That didn’t come out like I intended. I just meant—”
“Quit digging, brother,” Ethan offered with a wry grin. “You keep talking and you’ll never get out of this hole.”
With a perplexed look, Jamie said, “Maybe you’re right. Pass the syrup and butter.”
Laughter from Gideon and Ethan rumbled forth, and then everyone at the table joined them. The rest of the meal passed with companionable conversation.
Olivia listened to the chatter but couldn’t bring herself to contribute. People in the family extolled Jamie’s virtues. Dependable, excellent manager of the ranch’s resources, respected in the community, and on and on.
To her, he sounded larger than life. In her experience, he’d been kind and sometimes thoughtful and understanding. Then, he’d turn around and do something hurtful and inconsiderate. Which man was he?
Perhaps he was merely human.
***
Olivia had an idea that might win over the children. After her chores were done, she approached Sam Zimmerman in the barn. “Are there any wooden crates not in use?”
“Some in the chicken house turned on the side and used for the hens to roost. Might be one or two behind the barn. Let’s go see.”
She followed him to a stack of odds and ends of junk.
“Be careful where you walk. We try to keep this orderly, but the wind blows stuff around and people yank stuff as they need it and leave a mess.”
She gestured. “Oh, I see a box. I actually could use two, one deep and one shallow.”
He retrieved the large crate. “Ah, this here deep one has partitions. I can cut ‘em out for you.”
“No, that’s perfect just as it is. I want to make Cat a doll house. Now I need a shallow one or some boards I can nail together to make the walls of a fort for Jake’s toy soldiers.”
Sam smiled at her. “Now that’s a right good idea. Ought to keep those children busy for a while.”
“I hope so.” She stepped carefully among piles of boards, old wire, and things she didn’t recognize. “I see one. It’s seen better days, but will work just fine.”
“Let me get that for you. No telling what’s in that pile. Too cold for snakes to be out, but there’s other varmints.”
Sam picked up the box and brought it to her. “Want me to carry those for you?”
“I can manage, Sam. But can you tell me where I’ll find a hammer? I need to knock the bottom out of the shallow carton.”
“I can do that. Let’s step into the barn.”
She followed him and he quickly knocked the bottom off what had been a packing container. “Is there any of the white paint left from painting the house? And any brown?
“Might have dried up by now, but I’ll fetch a can of each. Guess you’ll need a brush, too.”
“You guessed right.” She waited where she was while he looked at the back of the barn.
When he returned, he carried two cans and had a brush protruding from his pocket. “Shook ‘em and both still have liquid paint. I’ll help you get these to the house. Too cold to paint out here. You’ll have to let it warm up some before you can use it.”
“Thanks so much for helping me.”
Carrying both boxes, she headed for the house. She went in through the back door. In the mud room, she deposited her plunder and asked Sam to set the paint inside the door. After rubbing dirt, cobwebs, and spider eggs off the wood, she set them out of the way.
“Milly, don’t think I’m crazy but I left two wooden crates in the mud room and I’m leaving these two paint buckets to warm up near the range. I’ll be back in a bit to get them out of the way.”
The other woman was busy kneading dough for bread. “Won’t bother me, Olivia.”
Upstairs, Olivia found the children playing in Cat’s room. “I have a surprise for you if you come downstairs.”
“I like surprises. Is it candy?” Cat asked.
Jake looked up expectantly. “I’ll bet you made cookies.”
She shook her head as they descended. “The surprise is nothing to eat. We’re going to build something.”
After leading the way through the house to the crates, she knelt and laid a hand on the larger crate. “I think this would make a good doll house for you, Cat. This flat one would make a good fort wall, Jake. I have white paint for the doll house and brown for the fort. What do you think?”
Frowning, Cat looked at Olivia as if she’d lost her mind. “My dolls are too big for this box.”
Olivia held her thumb and forefinger to indicate about three inches. “We’ll make people for your doll house. Then you can paint them with my water colors.”
“Really? They’d be like tiny dolls?”
“Yes, and we’ll make the furniture, too. We’ll have to spend lots of time getting things the way you want them, but then you can play with them whenever you have time.”
Jake inspected the remains of the crate. “I could use this now for a fort wall. What about a gate?”
“Cutting a gate would greatly weaken the construction, so we’ll just paint it on. You can use a little tin or a box for the headquarters.”
Blue eyes like his father’s sparkled with excitement. “Yeah, this will be fun. Can I take the fence up to my room now?”
“I suppose so. We’ll find somewhere to paint that won’t mess up anything else. Until then, you can get busy making believe.”
He was off with the makeshift fence.
After requisitioning an old ground sheet for floor protection against splatters, Olivia and Cat worked on the doll house the remainder of the morning. By lunch, they had the box painted white inside and out. Cat wore a good amount of the paint, but she’d appeared to have fun.
“While this dries and hardens, after lunch we’ll make your little people. Later, I’ll show you how to make furniture. But this is your doll house, so you decide what goes inside.”
Olivia was pleased to discover that Milly and Mama Fraser saved all the paper from packages. After getting their permission, she and Cat tore the paper into tiny strips.
“What we’re going to do is called papier maché.” They planned out the members of the family Cat wanted. Then Olivia mixed glue of flour and water in a bowl.
“We dip the strip of paper into the glue and wrap it to form the person. It will look like a mummy until we paint it. Do you know what a mummy is?”
As they worked, Olivia kept up a commentary about the things they were doing and how it related to many others. A lesson disguised as fun never hurt anyone. Cat’s tongue curled over her top lip as she concentrated on forming her dolls. At first, she had trouble managing the sticky substances, but she gradually learned to shape the forms.
After a couple of hours, they stopped and cleaned up the floury glue that seemed to be everywhere around them. “Now we’ll have to let the dolls dry here for at least a day before we can paint them.”
Olivia cleaned the paint and glue off Cat’s face. The paint in her auburn hair would take longer but she had to hurry or they’d be in the way for dinner preparation.
“Now you can go upstairs and play until dinner.”
Without a backward glance, Cat ran for the stairs.
Chapter Four
That evening, Olivia sat at the dining room table where everyone except Lily and Caleb had gathered for dinner. She thought she might have made headway with Jake and Cat today. Perhaps they’d welcome her after all instead of treating her like an enemy.
Tonight the meal consisted of steak, potatoes, and home-canned vegetables. She thought of summer and
how this year she’d be putting up food for her family’s use next year. In her trunk, she had flower and vegetable seeds that had been in her family for generations. Just as she was sinking her roots here, she looked forward to planting and harvesting those seeds.
The knowledge she was becoming an integral part of the Fraser clan filled her with hopefulness. She knew winning acceptance from Jamie and his children would be more difficult than from their kin. Her only chance was to stand her ground. Her mother’s caution “Start as you mean to go on” repeated in her mind.
Milly brought out a couple of dried-apple pies and Mama Fraser sliced them to pass around.
Glasses bounced when Jake pounded the table. “I wanted cake. You’re mean to make pie when you know I like cake best.”
Cat copied her brother and hit the table. “Yeah, you’re a meanie, Grandma. We want cake.”
Olivia snatched the plate destined for each child. “You can’t have dessert of any kind tonight. How could you be so rude to your grandmother? She and Milly worked hard making dinner and these pies for us.”
Jake’s eyes were wide. “Papa, did you see what she did?”
Olivia stood her ground. “She has a name. My name is Olivia.”
Jamie held up his hand. “Now, Olivia, don’t be so quick to take offense. They didn’t mean to be rude.”
She stared at him. How could he contradict her when just last night he’d agreed they’d be united in front of the children? “Are you serious? Of course they intended to be rude. They show no respect for anyone.”
His face turned red and his expression hardened to mulish. “You’re over reacting. Let them have their pie.”
Before she could reason with herself, she took action. Stacking both plates in one hand, she snatched away the slice of pie Milly had just set in front of him.
“For failing to hold up your end of the partnership, Jamie Fraser, you don’t get any dessert either. Teaching Jake and Catriona to act properly is your job. You only make things worse by catering to them when they misbehave.”
Jamie Page 5