She followed the sound of the kids’ voices to the backyard. They played catch with an oversized ball near the woods. She called hello and told them to stay together.
Jack twisted around. “Alright!”
“Okay, Mommy!” Lilah called back.
Automatically, Kara sought out the statue. Had Lilah left it in her room? There was a spark of hope, until she caught sight of it in the grass, not far from Lilah’s sneakered feet.
Kara turned away, rubbing her temples. She retraced her footsteps, walking around the house, and nearly tripped over the tangled garden hose. Regaining her balance, she dragged the hose to its rack, but she didn’t fuss with it for long. Her head was pounding and it was just too much to bear right now. The hammering had started again…and then the scraping.
She wiped her hands on the back of her shorts and turned toward the woods. A hint of gray slipped through the trees. It was the barn at the end of Seter Road that she had spotted. Curious, she made her way down the gravel driveway, telling no one her travel plans. There wasn’t a sidewalk, so she took to the edge of the quiet road.
Moving through tree shade to a soundtrack of rustling leaves and birdsong, she noticed the sweetness of the air, wondering if it was hay she smelled. She couldn’t place the relaxing scent; it was new to her, reminiscent of honey. Seemingly, the elixir relieved the pressure in her temples.
As she moved up a slight incline, the trees edging the road parted so she could glimpse a ranch-style house on her right. The garage was open, displaying two cars. Finely-trimmed shrubs flanked both sides of the house and rosebushes filled the area in-between. A two-story farmhouse with green shutters was on her left. An SUV was in its driveway, the garage closed. Its front yard was also well-kept.
The treed border appeared again as the road dipped, but then it parted soon after as she came upon a weathered farmhouse, set back from the road. Its white paint was faded and chipped and the large shutters that had once been black had turned gray. The lawn lacked flowers, but full trees and shrubs zigzagged throughout the front yard and continued into the back. The gravel driveway lay to the right of the house and disappeared within the sheltering grandfather trees, their boughs of full green foliage shading its final destination. Drapes were drawn closed on the windows and the house was silent, exuding emptiness. She noticed the birdsong had ceased and the leaves had stilled. She was alone in the world.
She stepped onto the shoulder of the road and continued onward another fifty yards, stopping when she came to the barn. Set much closer to the road than the farmhouse, it sagged on its rear haunches, displaying its interior like a can-can girl lifting the skirt of her dress. Strategically-placed posts and a jumble of wooden beams held it up.
Kara had been in a barn only once, and that had been at a municipal park. Re-enactors had worked the fields, giving modern-day suburbanites an idea of what it would’ve been like to raise pigs and chickens in the late 1880s. The farmhouse had been bright red and safe enough to let the general public mosey in and out of, poking around at farm tools and the animals inside.
The barn she gazed at now was well-used. As she came closer, she saw seated at its rear, peeping just so, was a silo. She hadn’t noticed it before on any of her car rides. She assumed grain was housed in the cylindrical building; her imagination and lack of farming experience prevented her from making any other guesses as to what else could be inside.
She glanced at the unassuming farmhouse next door and, feeling confident she hadn’t been noticed, inched closer to the barn. Her sightline of the silo was dashed out. She could see how truly dilapidated the barn was; the wooden posts holding it up were rotted, infested with termites. Some of the posts did better than others, but from what her untrained eye could see, most of them were one strong wind-gust away from crumbling into splinters. It was a shame. She felt sorry for the barn, silly really to feel something emotional for a building, especially one she had no previous attachment to.
Because of the apparent safety issue, she was consciously wary of entering it. But, even so, Kara moved to the farthest front corner and took a brave step inside. Her feet moved over sandy soil, thinly covered in matted straw. Rays of light shooting in through slits in the roof lit portions of the straw, revealing much of it was moldy. She wrinkled her nose at the rancid odor. Bird droppings coated the beams overhead and the flapping of wings and stirring from someplace above told her birds and rodents had been calling the place home for quite some time.
She walked further. A thick rope knotted into a hangman’s noose hung from a spike set in the wall; four bales of hay sat near it, so nibbled on that they were hardly square; and a stack of sacks was piled at the foot of a ladder. The ladder, looking structurally sound from where she stood, leaned against the opening of the loft that stretched over the rear of the barn.
Kara moved to it now, her steps making crunching noises, passing through a ray of sunlight. She was fascinated to discover what was in the loft. What were they storing, or hiding, up there?
Suddenly, a shadow draped over her.
Climb up and see…
The shadow clung, beckoning her to come further.
She slid her tongue over her lips, wetting them. She had forgotten the worry of the barn’s weakened condition; she didn’t care about being caught trespassing. She needed to see what was in the loft.
Come and see.
She started to climb the ladder.
It’s here.
She stepped up another rung. She looked up at the wood-slatted edge and felt dizzy. The loft above started vibrating, tilting sideways. She shut her eyes, feeling sick.
“She’s gone!” a man’s voice, sounding so far away and yet inside her own head was shouting. “…Left a letter…”
Kara opened her eyes, wondering vaguely if she was falling sleep, caught, faintly now, “with child…must find…” She heard thumping—galloping—in the distance until it muted completely.
She twisted around. The barn was empty.
Come see!
The voice was urgent, pressing her to continue. Looking up again, the loft no longer titled; the dizziness had passed. Kara advanced another step. Something scrambled on the floor above, but she didn’t think of mice. She took another step; she was so close now. She lifted her foot to step again when a sudden commotion below halted her.
She scrambled down the ladder and spun around, the haze lifting, the spell broken just like that. Her hand went to her chest and her eyes darted around the room, a bright stream of sunlight hanging over her. She had been caught.
She heard the whistling before she saw them. Jack was musical one approaching the barn, Lilah just behind him. They didn’t see Kara at first, which was fine because it took her a moment to slow her heart.
When she regained her composure, she met them as they started for the interior, demanding, “What are you two doing here?”
Jack jumped. His head whipped back. Surprise was on both of their faces.
When he recognized his mother, he stammered, “Uh, w-we were just, uh playing.”
“I see that. Do you think you should be playing in here?” She pretended to herself it wasn’t a double-standard that they had caught her there.
Jack and Lilah shook their heads solemnly.
“This is not a playground and it’s definitely not safe. Not only could the barn come crashing down on you, but you could also get bitten by a raccoon or even a snake!”
“I’m sorry, Mom,” Jack replied, guilt readable on his down-turned face.
“A snake?” Lilah murmured, looking down at the ground around her.
“Let’s get out of here,” Kara said. “We’re not safe in here.”
Because the barn can fall apart at any moment, or because you don’t know what drew you here? Kara ushered them outside, ignoring the mocking question. “Why were you in there anyway?”
“We were just exploring,” Jack replied. He didn’t mention the urge that had drawn him to it. He wouldn’t have been able
to explain it anyway.
“Exploring? You couldn’t find enough to do at home? Come on. Let’s leave before someone sees us trespassing. Lilah, give me your hand. We have to be very careful walking on the side of the road.”
Why had she gone in there? She knew better than to trespass. It was just that the barn looked abandoned, she supposed. It had been forgotten, taken for granted maybe. Surely, she hadn’t disturbed anything inside. But even in her thoughts, she couldn’t accept those as reasons to wander onto property that wasn’t hers.
“Why don’t we just go through the woods?” Jack asked, pointing to somewhere behind the farmhouse.
“Is that how you got here?”
He nodded.
“It probably is quicker,” she murmured. She glanced back at the road again, and as if on cue, a furniture truck sped by. How quickly the scenery had changed and now the road seemed dangerous. “Alright, show me how you guys got here.”
Following Jack, Kara repeatedly glanced at the still farmhouse as they progressed behind it and stepped into the woods, holding onto Lilah’s hand. She was aware people who lived in the country were no strangers to protecting their property, taking stock in their right to bear arms. It was probably a very big mistake to have let Jack take them back this way, as it could be construed as encouraging her children to trespass if it meant involving a shortcut. She said nothing, however, and was relieved to see a decent path had been worn into this side of the woods. The trees were dense and at night she was sure it had to be pitch-black, but soon she was able to catch glimpses of the ranch as the trees thinned closer to home.
They crossed their driveway and Kara saw John and Marvin packing up their tools. She said to the kids, “You’re not to take that path again and you’re not to go to that barn again. Alright?”
They agreed they wouldn’t and took off toward the house, both spent on exploring for the day.
As the evening sun set, John and Kara took advantage of the porch swing, rocking as they gazed out over the yard.
“How’s your headache?” John asked.
“It’s gone now that that hammering is over,” Kara replied. After a beat, she laughed. “You guys did a great job today. I’m excited we got something off our to-do list.”
“Yeah.” John ran a hand over the armrest, looking out at the evergreens where the road curved and climbed again uphill. “It’s a nice night.”
“Yeah.” She looked at the doorway and said, “Thank you, by the way, for getting rid of it.”
He followed her gaze before looking out at the trees ahead of them. “You get strange stuff like that when you live in the country. Wild animals are all around.” He widened his eyes and looked at her. “Watching us. Now.”
She slapped his arm and relaxed on the swing. “Don’t try to scare me.” She glanced surreptitiously out at the shadowed yard and then laughed.
He laughed too and rested an arm behind them on the backrest.
“So, we’ve been here for a little while now,” she said. “What do you think about having a housewarming party?”
“That sounds good. I mean, the house isn’t a disaster or anything.”
“Yeah, far from perfect.”
His eyes twinkled and he tilted his head back. “I’m glad you agree.”
“You did a really good job today,” she said again, leaning her head on his shoulder.
“Marvin’s pretty cool. You should’ve seen him climb up on the roof. I think he’s in better shape than me.”
Kara leaned forward to look at the Foremans’ house. Their houselights were on, highlighting yellow siding behind shadowy trees. “His wife is a little intense.”
“Oh, yeah?”
“She’s alright. She just gives off a vibe.” She pictured the older woman with the direct gaze.
He kicked his foot out, gently rocking the swing back and forth. They rocked a while, neither one saying a word. The last birds chirped from their nests in the ashes and oaks that threaded along the property line.
Finally, Kara broke the quietude. “When do we want to have the party? I haven’t seen Tracy in forever and I know she’d love to see the house.”
“Up to you. If you’re alright with short notice, how about Saturday? That’d actually be good. Work’s about to get even busier, so the sooner we throw this shindig the better. This is the calm before the storm.”
“What’s going on?”
“We’re transitioning to a new database. It’s a big deal. I’ll probably have to work late nights and weekends.”
Kara scowled, looking out over the darkening yard. The sun had dipped low, making the porch light responsible for most of the light cast around them.
“Would it be weird if I invited Shannon and Tom to the party?”
“That’d actually be a good way to meet Tom. Give him a good ol’ interview.”
“Oh, no,” she groaned. “You’re not going to interview him, are you?”
“Well, probably not an all-out interview. But I think I need to ask him about his experience, don’t I?”
“Just like you asked our neighbor?”
“That’s different.”
“Okay. Yeah. Not really.”
He looked at her slyly. “Just invite them. Oh, yeah, and while you’re at it, you can take charge and invite all the guests.”
She slapped his thigh and he grabbed her offending hand and held it. She didn’t upset the moment by bringing up Sophie or the incident in the barn. It had been a while since she had felt this at-ease; it was nice. They rocked in silence for a while longer until the sun vanished completely into the night sky.
Chapter Ten
Screaming had erupted around her.
The pitch varied—high, low, and in between—an anguished chorus of cries.
She pressed her hands over her ears. The gesture altered the noise, twisting the screams into a bleating. It wasn’t much of an improvement.
She squeezed her eyes shut, whimpering inwardly, please stop, please stop…
And just like that, it stopped.
* * *
Kara rolled to her side, opening her eyes to silence. Breaking free of the nightmare, the contrast was jarring. Seeing nothing but white was unsettling too.
She blinked a few times, erasing the nightmare, and realized it was the blank bedroom wall she faced.
“Awake?” John came around to her side of the bed. “I’m leaving now.” He kissed her briefly, unaware of her stupor. “Have a good day.” He left the bedroom as she managed to say goodbye.
Another night, another nightmare.
She groaned, craning her neck to see the clock. It was time to get the kids ready for school. They followed their usual morning routine: Kara watched from John’s office as Jack climbed onto the bus; she walked Lilah to her pre-K classroom; and she sat in the car for a moment, staring at the Collumber house. Without fail, she glanced at the house in her rearview mirror just before she steered out of Grace School’s parking lot. She ignored the statue rolling on the passenger side floormat as she slowed down to peer at the rundown barn on Seter Lane, her eyes combing over its shadowed interior.
She glanced at the front porch of her house as she pulled up the driveway, making sure no animal had decided to die there that day. Inside the house, she sat at the kitchen table with a cup of tea. She sipped it, trying to absorb what caffeine she could get from it as she stared at the wall calendar. It took her a moment to break her trance and remember what she was supposed to be doing. Saturday was starred: the date of the party.
Acting on adrenaline, she texted Tracy the details, apologizing for the short notice. Everyone she invited got the same apologetic invite: Hope you can make it! Sorry for the short notice!
The party wouldn’t be big, they didn’t know that many people. It’d just be a few guys from John’s work, Marvin and Diane, Tracy, Shannon and Tom.
When she was done, she sat for a moment, running through the names of the people she had texted. Her mind was clouded (she
was so tired), so she didn’t dive deep thinking beyond the names of the people she’d already contacted. She looked through the contacts in her cellphone and stopped on her mother’s name. It was the longest they had gone without speaking. Honestly, Kara wasn’t trying to make a point, even though it probably looked like she was. She just hadn’t been in the mood to talk to her generally-disapproving mother. Time had lapsed naturally and she had just been so busy...
Her thoughts drifted to the memory of her wedding day. She supposed most people would’ve completely cut their mother off if the same had happened to them. And maybe, she should’ve. Margaret had actually tried to stop the wedding. Kara, a beautiful courthouse bride, dressed in a white blouse and a navy blue broom skirt, had stood hand-in-hand with John, handsome in his dark suit and navy blue-and-cream necktie. To make it a bona fide elopement, Tracy had stayed home, volunteering to babysit Jack.
John and Kara were waiting outside the courtroom when her tipped-off mother approached them from behind. Tracy admitted to Kara later that she had shared the secret news with Margaret.
Margaret dropped her hand on Kara’s shoulder and tugged. “Not today, Kara. Not to him. It’s a mistake. You don’t want to ruin your life.” She turned to John, her words cold, “Walk away, John. Don’t do an idiot move and marry someone who’s already got a kid. You don’t want that kind of baggage.”
Kara felt Margaret hadn’t liked John from the start, simply just because. There was no reason for her to not like him. Margaret had only seen him a few times and on each occasion, he had somehow offended her. He said the wrong thing, he did the wrong thing, he was the wrong thing. She pulled him apart any chance she got.
John’s face had gone white as he struggled to bottle up his fury in the courthouse.
“Let me go,” Kara hissed, breaking free of Margaret’s hold.
People passed by. Some stared.
“Go away,” John growled.
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