He seems to think about my question for a moment, mulling over whether he should tell me the truth. If he doesn’t want me to go back to before, I suggest he explain everything to me. Because sex may be all my body needs to forgive him, but my mind needs to know the truth.
“They knew what was going to happen.” He sighs. “Callum tried to get into your class before the period began, but he ran into some problems.”
“Oh.”
So, that’s what that earlier uproar was in the hallway. Mrs. Willis wouldn’t let him into the class to warn me. In a way, that’s kind of sweet. It makes my heart a little less frigid toward him.
However, none of them made it in time. The queen bees still nearly brought me to my knees. Do you want to know the irony of this entire situation? When I finally crumbled into a heap on the floor, it was in a bathroom, same as it was all those years ago. Same as the picture now floating around school.
“I didn’t hurt you, did I?” he asks, his voice gravelly from climax. He takes my silence as an unspoken agreement, because he says, “I knew I shouldn’t have done that, but you were beg—” he stops mid-sentence when he sees the look I cast in his direction.
Horror coats my insides like kerosene. Straightening up, I grab my panties and jeans, slowly putting them back on. My mind is a mess of confusion, and I hate it right now. He did what I wanted him to do, but I hate that the only reason he did it was because I begged him to, like he wouldn’t have touched me any other time. For the first time, it makes me feel pathetic.
I’m no better than Alessandra begging Callum. That thought causes shame to coat my entire being.
“Hey, Jessalyn, wait.”
Fingers at my chin force me to look into his eye. They peer into mine with such guardedness it physically and mentally hurts. “What?”
“I just didn’t want our first time to be like that, okay?” he says, searching my eyes. “I don’t regret it. Period. You can believe me.”
When I nod, even though I don’t believe it, he asks again, “Did I hurt you?”
“No,” I say. “You didn’t hurt me.”
His eyes search mine. “Where did you go then?”
I try to laugh it off, but it comes out more garbled than anything. “Just in my head.”
“That’s not a good place to get caught up in.” Something about his words sing with truth. Has he been in this situation before? Wanting nothing more than to live in the moment, but can’t resist the allure of being pulled back in by the reins of his mind?
“Oh, I know. Trust me.” I put on my bra and shirt, straightening it without looking him in the eye.
“Care to tell me what that was all about?” he asks out of nowhere, causing me to stop short.
I know he’s not talking about what happened in the classroom, so there can only be one other thing. My reaction toward him. Only one person in their group has seen me freak out, and it wasn’t even as bad as this time.
Seeing a picture someone snapped of that night can do that to you. A picture that’s not even supposed to exist.
I mull over what to tell him, but then think better of it. He doesn’t need the details, or more details than I already blabbed about before our encounter.
“Not particularly.” I admit.
I see him nod from my peripheral. “Fair enough.” Then he’s silent for a moment before asking, “You don’t regret it, do you?”
I should. I really should. And not for the reason he’s thinking.
I should hate it because it’s not right to use his natural instincts against him, and that’s exactly what I did. I took a terrible situation where Quinn only wanted to help me, and I reverted to the only thing I know will force those thoughts away. I didn’t care that it was Quinn who would bring me pleasure. All I knew is that I needed pleasure to chase away the pain.
He … didn’t deserve that. At all.
God, I am a freaking bitch. The worst of the worst, because I don’t regret it at all. The only thing going through my mind is when we can do that again, not how it might hurt him.
If I hadn’t forgiven and tried to have a friendship with the guys, there would be no way I could stop myself with Quinn now. He did something none of the others have. They may have stood up for me, but none of them are the one that chased the memories away. None of them are the one that took such good care of me, trying several times to talk me out of it.
Quinn did that. The supposedly asshole of the group.
He made me feel. Made me see nothing but light when it felt like darkness was closing in all around me. He saved me in the truest sense of the word.
“No,” I whisper, then meet his stare with trepidation. “And you’re forgiven. Just thought I should tell you that if you didn’t know it already.”
He doesn’t react how I expect him to. Instead, he jerks back, like I slapped him across the face. Eyes wide and mouth partially agape. Quinn shakes his head, then gives me a small grin. “Don’t forgive me yet, Jess. I didn’t earn it.”
Didn’t earn it? Like that matters with the others. Does he not see that he’s the one that sank his claws into my body and pulled me out of my head? Quinn saved me. There is nothing than can make him deserve it more.
“But you—”
He stops me by pulling me into his chest. I burrow my head into his thick Henley, inhaling his scent into my lungs. “I would do it again in a heartbeat, baby. Not because of the sex, but to be the guy that chases away your demons.”
Well, dammit. Tears prick my eyes, and it takes everything in me to stand still and just be. What I really want to do is make him see what he did; I mean, truly see.
CHAPTER 25
“Keep your head high, baby,” Quinn says, tucking me into his side as we leave the bathroom. “Don’t let anyone know they got to you.”
It’s easy for him to say. He’s not the one that has a picture circulating around the school of the night he was raped. I am. It’s not something I wish to relive over and over. But with Alessandra and Bree being who they are, I know I’ll have to. It was the only time I was vulnerable in my life, and the queen bees are just pissed off enough to keep digging at the old wound until I break.
“Did you see it?” I ask.
When we come to a stop outside of my classroom, his grip tightens on me. I look up at him, seeing the underlining fury in his eyes.
“I saw it,” he growls. “And they won’t get away with this, Jess. I promise you that. Every person in this school has secrets, and the benefit of being who I am, means I’m privy to what they want to keep hidden.”
“What do they want to keep hidden, Quinn?”
I can’t deny my curiosity. He’s piqued my interest, claiming he knows things about people at this school. The only thing I get on the daily is the surface view of everyone. All I see is how perfect they claim to be, and how damaged they believe I am.
Well, screw them. I’ve been through so much more in my short life than any of these assholes have. They have money, prestige, and power. Something none of them deserve or earned. Their parents paved the way for them, and I find it so disgusting that people like Alessandra and Bree truly believe they earned what they have.
“You’ll have to wait and see, baby,” he says, smirking.
Without a care in the world, Quinn shows me back into my classroom. He mean-mugs everyone who thinks to glance in my direction. When one guy inside the room makes a scathing remark, Quinn is in front of him before he can even blink, growling like an animal. The guy slams back against his seat, true fear spreading through his eyes. He mutters his apologies, face turning redder than a beet.
It appeases Quinn, and with a cruel, twisted smirk, he hefts himself up from his desk and steps back. His eyes glance over the entirety of the classroom, silently daring anyone to step out of line, boy or girl. He’s a force of nature. And to my surprise, he even snubs Bree when she tries to gain his attention with flirty eyes and open thighs.
I wish I was joking.
She s
preads her legs open for him, like she has the right to persuade him into being with her by putting her body on display. But to my utter glee, he never shows interest. Not once. He doesn’t even look at her, which only serves to piss her off even more. She shoots a deathly glare in my direction, and I can’t help the smug smile that sweeps over my face.
“Grab your things,” Quinn whispers in my ear, then turns to my teacher, whose mouth has dropped open. “Mrs. Willis, Jessalyn will be coming with me. I’m sure you understand.”
“Oh, yes, of course,” she stammers out, cheeks shining with a flush.
Indecipherable silence radiates throughout the classroom. I can nearly feel the indignation wafting off everyone in waves, like ghostly hands reaching out to wrap their fingers around my throat. However, I can especially feel it from a particular corner in the back. The queen bee and her cronies are staring a hole right through Quinn and me.
As I make my way to my seat, I heave a sigh of relief when I see no one touched my things. Grabbing my phone, and stuffing my things back into my bag, I zip it up and make my way back toward Quinn. But not before I hear a few derogatory phrases from Bree. I raise my eyes, meeting hers. I see so much hatred and fury pointed in my direction, as if she would take great joy in physical harm if she could. I have no doubt if Bree could set me on fire with her gaze alone, I’d be incinerated within seconds.
“If you think you won, you’re wrong, whore. Fucking slut. Quinn will leave you and then he’ll come back to me. What do you have to offer him, anyway? You’re tainted goods; you’re nothing.”
“Bree!” Quinn bellows.
She clams up the moment he says her name, acting like a docile little kitten that can do absolutely no wrong. While that may be true on the surface, a kitten still has sharp claws and teeth made of razor blades. Bree is trying to cut me down, but I won’t allow her the satisfaction. Instead, I will revel in what she doesn’t have. Quinn.
Narrowing my eyes, every piece of self-preservation flies out of my head. Instead, anger comes out to play. I make my way back toward her chair, then place my hands down on top of her desk. Meeting her eye-to-eye, I allow a smug little grin to twist my lips. Even though I want nothing more than to tuck my tail and run, I won’t allow this bitch to get the last word.
“You think Quinn will choose you?” I ask, huffing a laugh. “Who do you think he was fucking a few minutes ago?”
Her features tighten. The girls sitting beside her look anywhere but at me. I watch, silently, as Bree’s face steadily turns an unhealthy shade of red, as if she’s holding in her fury. Her image is more important than revenge, and I have a feeling Bree would die before she gives in to the impulse of allowing people to know how much my presence gets to her. How much me being with Quinn really gets under her skin.
Then, she surprises me. A small, sinister smile—or should I say, snarl—pastes over her face. She leans forward in her chair, her eyes alight with malicious intent.
“He may be here now, trash, but he won’t be around you forever.” She flicks her gaze over me, probably pinning Quinn to his spot, satisfied by what she sees, she turns her gaze back to mine. “If you don’t back off, this will end ugly.”
Something about her admission rocks me to the core. The Lovell’s are what you would call “old money.” They own nearly every piece of uncommercial land in Silver Creek. But they wouldn’t go that far, would they? No one would resort to murder simply because someone else had what they wanted.
“If you think your meaningless threat will scare me, you have another thing coming, bitch. I don’t play elementary games.”
“Meaningless?” She releases a tinkering laugh that grates on my nerves. “Keep pushing me, bitch, and I’ll show you exactly how we play.”
Snubbing her, I make my way to the front of the room. I keep my head held high, even though what I want to do is melt back into the shadows. As I make my way back to Quinn, he takes my hand in his; the action throwing me for a moment before he leads me out of the room. The moment we make it back into the hallway, he pulls me into an unexpected hug.
“We’ll take care of her, Jess. I promise.” He kisses the side of my head, the action causing tears to blanket my eyes.
I didn’t know until right now how good it would feel not to be in this alone. That by having someone to lean on, intimately, would make the bullying and teasing seamlessly roll off my back.
Before, it felt like I was in this alone. Yes, Karma has been there every step of the way. But all she can give me is words of encouragement and an ear to voice my woes to. With the guys, I can actually, truly, lean on them for support. I can allow everything bothering me to fall away, where it’s only them and me. Until now, I didn’t know that’s exactly what I needed.
“Thank you,” I find myself saying.
“For what?”
He gives me a quizzical expression once he pulls away. I peer up into his face, and then my admission rocks me to the core. Those guys don’t know exactly how much their presence has helped within the short time of them being on my side, instead of being my enemy. They don’t get that life is manageable now, and the only place I have to worry about it is at home.
I don’t even have to worry about that anymore, because Asher took care of it. He set Debra straight, and even it being so many days afterward, she still hasn’t uttered two words to me.
“You really don’t know, do you?” I ask, my eyes going back and forth between his.
Before he can respond, the other three guys come around the corner. They are all wearing masks of worry, and Ellis even goes as far as pulling me from Quinn. I can literally feel the tension dissipate the longer he holds me to him. His warm breath wisps across the top of my head as he repeatedly presses kisses to my crown. It’s only because of my phone buzzing in my pocket that I let him go at all.
Stepping away, I grab it out of my pocket. I’m half tempted in turning it off for the rest of the day, but something at the back of my mind tells me to open it and look. I can’t explain that feeling, but I unlock my phone and slide my fingers across the screen.
What I see has my eyes widening and anger settling in my heart. Why is he still doing this to …?
Unknown: Get rid of the guys or someone will pay.
Unknown: Don’t tempt the beast, precious—you won’t like the outcome.
But then, my eyes glance up at Callum, seeing him staring at me. He most definitely does not have a phone in his hand. He most definitely does not look even remotely close to reaching for it. Instead, it looks like he’s waiting to pull me into him, like the whole situation from earlier got to him as much as it did me.
“C-Callum,” I say, the knot forming in my throat, making it hard to speak louder than a whisper. “You haven’t been sending me these messages, have you?”
Terror makes up the core of my being when I see him tilt his head to the side. I willingly hand him my phone, watching as he thumbs all the way to the beginning of the thread. As he reads, emotions play across his face in real time. First, I see anger, then horror, and finally, fear. So much fear.
His eyes fall back on mine. “I would never do something like this. This is … it’s depraved.”
Ellis grabs the phone before Callum can utter another word. Quinn shoves in beside him and so does Asher, and they read the contents of the messages. They have the same emotions clouding their eyes as Callum did, but it’s Quinn’s look that scares me. He looks murderous, barely sane as his eyes rise to meet mine.
Callum steps toward me, and I easily walk into his hold. He may not deserve this, but I need it. He kisses the top of my head as I bury my face in his chest. I’m coasting on adrenaline, from earlier and now, and I know I’ll crash before too long. And as much as I hate it, I know Callum will be there to catch me if I fall.
All four of us have come such a long way since August, where we hated the sight of each other. Now, we’re all relying on the other.
Before I can get too settled, Ellis speaks up, “Jess,
sweetheart—you may want to read this.”
He hands me back my phone, all of them surrounding me. Tense silence filters through the hallway, the only sound is the blood rushing through my ears. The moment I read the text, my knees give out from under me and I fall. If it wasn’t for Callum, there’s no doubt I’d be nothing more than a terrified ball of emotional tears on the floor. Horror coats my insides. It’s like I can feel myself cowering, becoming smaller, almost untouchable.
It can’t be.
Unknown: If that’s how it’s going to be, little girl, I’ll see you soon. Just remember, you asked for this.
CHAPTER 26
My mind is a whirlwind of confusion and dread when they usher me through the halls. They all stand around me like a blockade, warning away any person who thinks to get too close. And I’m thankful for that. I really don’t know what I’d do if someone were to accost me right now.
Probably break, like I told myself I wouldn’t do since freshman year. Crumble into the mass of rubble and debris, choking on the smoke and dust that floats through the air. It’s the guys standing beside me, guarding me, that’s keeping me in one piece. Albeit, a torn, trampled piece, but one piece all the same.
Pushing open the doors to the school exit, we’re about to make our way down them and head out when a voice calls out from behind us.
“Savoy!”
It’s Coach Rice.
By hearing his voice, I remember that I have practice today after school. However, I wouldn’t be able to force myself to go even if I wanted to. Yes, I love softball and it’s a welcoming distraction that will pay for my future, but it wouldn’t be any of those things today. I’m too stuck in my head, and I don’t think there’s anything that will get me out of it.
Sighing, I turn toward him, causing all the guys to stop next to me. “Yes, coach?”
“Where do you think you’re going?” Something about his anger feels unwarranted. He’s just a coach to the girls Fast-Pitch team, not a member of the faculty. He shouldn’t even be here during school hours. Doesn’t he have a job?
Tease Me, Baby: A Reverse Harem High School Bully Romance (Silver Creek High Book 2) Page 19