by Ian Todd
“So?”
“So, it belongs tae you…it’s yours, so it is,” Billy Liar informed him gleefully.
“Me? Get tae fuck!”
“Sorry, Willie, bit the dates aw check oot, so they dae,” Chief Inspector Henderson confirmed. “The wean wis born practically nine months tae the day efter…efter that wee incident across in the polis social club lavvy, back in seventy-two.”
“Well, Ah’ll tell youse aw right noo, there’s absolutely no fucking way Ah’m admitting that it wis mine. She kin fuck right aff, so she kin. She’ll get fuck aw money oot ae me, so she wullnae. Ah cannae believe this. How long hiv youse basturts known aboot this?”
“The issue isnae money here, Willie,” Daddy said soothingly. “Although, if it wis, Ah’m sure we could be accommodating. The issue is that wee curly haired journalist.”
“Eh? Bit Ah thought Thomas and Alan dealt wae her?”
“They did, bit she’s been sniffing aroond fur a while noo. She conned Wilma Thain intae gieing her an interview by allowing Wilma tae think she could gie her a using,” The Chief Inspector cursed. “Ah hauled Thain’s arse in, bit it wis clear the wee ginger arsed cow hid turned the tables oan her. It wis Wilma she wis speaking aboot in that article oan Christmas Eve, where she claimed that the officer in charge ae Teddy’s investigation believed Lesley’s death wis murder.”
“Aw, fur fuck’s sake, John,” The Sarge bleated indignantly. “Ah hope ye fucking disciplined the stupid cow.”
“She goat promoted,” Billy Liar interjected, no being able tae help himsel, as everywan, except The Sarge, couldnae contain themsels and burst oot laughing.
“Ah’m no happy wae this turn ae events, so Ah’m no.”
“None ae us ur, Willie,” Daddy continued. “As long as we keep calm…”
“Meaning you…” Billy Liar interrupted.
“Then everything will be okay,” Daddy finished, gieing Billy Liar a dirty look.
“Who else his the hack been talking tae?”
“As well as Wilma telling her tae fuck aff, Pricilla Presley…”
“Aw, fur fuck’s sake!”
“Don’t worry, she did the same, ye’ll be glad tae know.”
“Don’t tell me that she’s hid access tae the others?”
“She hisnae been near them, because she disnae know where they live. Pricilla telt Wilma that the others wurnae prepared tae play ball efter Collette James let them doon. She also threatened the wee hairy that she’d get the cops oan tae her, if her or anywan else fae The Glesga Echo accosted her again.”
“Same again, Tommy,” the chief inspector shouted across tae the barman.
“Look, Ah’ll get this wan, John,” Billy Liar offered, no making any effort tae go near they trooser pockets ae his, as the smokers started tae light up.
“Naw, naw, Billy, this is oan me, so it is. Youse boys hiv goat enough oan yer plates. Ah’m still bringing in a full wage.”
“Ur we no stepping intae dangerous territory here, Daddy?” Bobby Mack wondered nervously, stubbing oot his fag and lighting up another wan, as the tray wae the pints oan it arrived oan the scene. “Ah mean, that wee bitch wis the wan that exposed Harry Tinto fae The Flying Squad. Whit’s Mickey Sherlock saying aboot it?”
“Jist leave the tray, Tommy,” Daddy said, nodding tae the barman, before continuing. “Mickey’s goat his ain problems efter trying tae defend Tinto by putting forward some lame excuse as tae why wan ae his flying squad boys wis meeting up wae wan ae The McGregors’ top gangsters. It wis the photo ae them hivving a pint in Sammy Dow’s that done the damage. He said Cleopatra’s boys wur aw o’er him. That’s why he’s no here the night. At the time, he didnae realise, before trying tae cover Tinto’s arse, that The Skulks awready knew the transfer ae the hash fae the boot ae the squad car across tae Ruth’s wis gonnae be taking place. The photo ae them hivving a pint wis taken a few days earlier. Tinto trying tae deny conspiracy tae supply wis a non-starter, so it wis. Anyway, furget that. That’s been dealt wae. The wee hairy’s only oan a part-time contract up until the end ae January. Efter that, she’ll be oot oan her fanny. We’ve goat mair than enough oan The Rat tae make sure that happens. Aw we need tae dae is tae keep Ginger Arse fae poking that freckled wee nose ae hers in where it disnae belong…we’re only talking aboot a couple ae weeks, so we ur. So, Willie, back tae yersel. The only chink in the chain between noo and then is yer ex-girlfriend,” Daddy said. “John here said that the wee journalist mentioned the incident across in the Gorbals tae Wilma Thain, when she met her in the King’s Cafe. It wis clear that she hid nae idea where Susan McFarlane lived or that you’re the father ae the snapper. The fact that Susan McFarlane’s name came up means we need tae address the situation though…jist as a precaution like.”
“Precaution?”
“Ye’ll need tae get in touch wae her and explain that there’s a wee nippy sweetie oan her trail and that she’s tae keep that trap ae hers shut, so she his.”
“Bit, Ah don’t know where the hell she lives.”
“She lives in the bottom flat, in a run doon tenement building, oan Hotspur Street, up in Maryhill, jist aff Queen Margaret Drive. Number 38,” John Henderson said, butting in. “We managed tae get Jimmy Anderson, the housing manager alang in The Corporation, tae bump her up the housing list, where she’d been languishing since the wean wis born and offer her a cooncil hoose. That wis a month ago. As well as throwing anywan aff the scent who might be tracking her doon, her rent’s practically halved, so it his, so’s she’s happy.”
“Bit, she won’t listen tae somewan like me, fur fuck’s sake. Ah hivnae laid eyes oan her since she accused me ae raping her back in seventy two. She’ll…she’ll blame me fur her situation and try and wangle some money oot ae me fur the sprog, so she will. That night, before she ended up pished through in the bog, she’d been prattling oan tae me aboot how she’d wanted tae be a bizzy since she’d been a wean.”
“Willie, listen tae whit Daddy’s saying. She will listen. If she starts anything, tell her we’ll get people tae put in complaints tae social work aboot her abusing the wean. That’ll soon shut her up. Aw ye’re asking her tae dae is tae tell that wee cow fae The Glesga Echo tae fuck aff, if she’s approached. Simple.”
“Bit, whit if she disnae gie a fuck and is looking tae get shot ae somewan else’s basturt sprog anyway?”
“Look, she won’t. She’s a Glesga mother. Ye know whit like they mad basturts ur. Wance they’ve goat them, they never get shot ae them, irrespective ae the difficulties ae their domestic situation…their men maybe, bit no a snottery-nosed snapper.”
“Look, aw we’re trying tae dae here is cover oor tracks, Willie. Teddy is a fine colleague and a good friend, bit if his situation should go aw pear shaped, and Ah’m no saying fur wan minute that it will, who knows how the stupid basturt might react? We need tae keep him oan board until we sort oot oor situation wae that fucking highland whore, Cleopatra,” Billy Liar growled, as aw the smokers reached fur their fag packets and lighters, while the others lifted a fresh pint aff the tray.
Chapter Twenty Four.
“Whit did Ah tell ye…naw, bloody well warned, ye?” Wan-bob scowled.
“Aboot whit?” Tony asked him.
“Govan…the south side. Whit the fuck dae ye think Ah’m oan aboot?”
“Ye said that if we goat an opportunity, we could hiv a pop at Papa.”
“And?” Wan-bob asked hopefully, thinking there might be news that hidnae reached him yet.
“So, seeing as we wur across there anyway, we thought we’d take advantage and deal wae a wee bit ae personal business while we wur at it,” Tony replied nonchalantly, shrugging they shoulders ae his.
“So, that wan-ermed fuck-pig so-called gangster is still swanning aboot aw o’er the place as if he owns the shoap then?” Wan-bob asked, no believing his ears.
“He wis the last time Ah clocked him.”
Silence.
“Which wis when?” Wan-bob asked terse
ly, looking aboot tae see where the screw wis, fighting hard tae control his temper, as the tic below his right eye shot up the gears, straight intae overdrive mode.
“Bang oan eight o’clock this morning.”
“So, ye took him oot…is that whit ye’re saying?” Wan-bob gasped, expectation back in they hungry eyes ae his, the frantic tic momentarily stalling.
“Naw, it wis too risky. There wur wummin and wee schoolies heidin alang the pavement.”
Wan-bob knew he hid tae calm doon. He wis dying tae lean across and gie Gucci a punch in the mooth, bit that widnae help. The stupid basturt wid only go in the huff, plus he’d probably retaliate, knowing him. At that moment in time, him and Charlie needed The Mankys mair than they needed them. He’d hiv tae be patient and string the insolent basturt alang. It widnae be too long and he’d be able tae sort him and that wee team ae his oot, wance and fur aw, when they goat oot.
“Right, Tony, despite ma current situation, Ah’m no gonnae let somewan as insignificant as you noise somewan as important as me up. Ah’m gonnae remain calm, despite the cheek Ah’m hivving tae put up wae. We kin address any concerns or blatant misunderstandings between us wance me and Charlie get oot ae this shithole. In the meantime, if you continue tae sit there treating me like a fucking diddy, Ah’m gonnae really get upset. So, answer the fucking question…and it better be good.”
“Bob, two ae ma best pals, Peter and Snappy, hiv jist been wiped oot and the first thing you demand is fur me tae explain whit the fuck Ah’ve been up tae, across in Govan?”
“So, this is whit aw this is aboot?”
“Whit?”
“Aw that fucking lip Ah’m oan the receiving end ae, and me in the jail as well? Ah’ve telt ye before, ye’re no the only wan that’s lost people and ye certainly won’t be the last. Furget it and move oan.”
“Ah hiv.”
“So, whit the fuck wis aw that burning ae that glaikit basturt, tied tae a lamp post shite aboot?”
“That wis called a come-back. That’s whit used tae happen in the toon if somewan crossed somebody,” Tony pouted.
“Tony, ye’re back tae walking oan thin ice again, so ye ur. Of course, me and Charlie wur terribly upset tae hear aboot whit happened tae Peter and that fucking waste ae space, Snappy. Whit’s done is done though. Move oan. Learn fae it, bit don’t go aboot upsetting everywan, as if youse ur the only aggrieved people in the toon. Ah warned ye no tae cross the river. Tae be wan step aheid ae the opposition, ye need tae be disciplined these days. That’s whit being in command is aw aboot. Youse stupid basturts always end up upsetting everywan. Whit Ah cannae figure oot is why. Wan minute everything’s gaun honky-dory and the next? Youse start fucking aboot, taking yer eyes aff the baw, drawing attention, no only tae yersels, bit tae everywan else within range ae youse,” he growled, knowing fine well that the Tally wisnae taking anything he wis saying oan board.
“So, ye’re saying we shouldnae hiv retaliated? Is that it?”
“Naw, whit Ah’m saying is there’s a time and place fur everything. Pouring a tin ae paint o’er some wee ticket’s heid and setting him alight, tied tae a lamp post, across in Govan Cross, is like waving yer cock aboot at a nun’s birthday party…where no fucker wae any sense wid be impressed. Aw you did wis draw attention tae where it wisnae wanted.”
“The toon’s back tae being busy, plus everywan believes that it wis yer pal, Papa, who did it.”
“So, there wis a wee flukey bonus, bit that disnae excuse being an undisciplined clown. There’s mair than youse wee fuckers involved here. Charlie and me ur trying tae work oot oor next move and you and yer pals ur running aboot like blue-arsed flies, turning the heat oan everywan. Noo ye hiv the cheek tae turn up here and tell me that that fucking haufwit across in Govan is still swanning aboot withoot a care in the world?”
“Ah telt ye. We’ll get him. He’s the easy wan…”
“Ye’re no touching a hair oan Victor Ruth’s heid, so ye kin fucking furget that wan.”
“Why?”
“Because Ah bloody well said so, that’s why. That wis another interruption that we could’ve been daeing withoot, so it wis. See the bother youse ur causing?” Wan-bob reminded him, piling oan the grief.
“Ruth wis the wan that gied Campbell and Grey the orders tae take us oot.”
“So whit? At least the people he asked tae dae something fucking went and did it, unlike some Ah hiv tae deal wae aboot here,” Wan-bob harrumphed, feeling mair relaxed and starting tae enjoy himsel.
“So, explain tae me why we cannae hiv a go at the basturt then?”
“Because Ah said so, that’s why. There’s far mair important stuff happening withoot youse drawing attention away fae where it should be. Tony, don’t you bloody well cross me oan this wan. At least some positives came oot ae The Burning Cross situation, which is a bonus. So, how’s that wee lassie, Pearl, whit’s her name?”
“So, ye heard?” Tony replied, as Wan-bob’s eyebrow lifted.
Of course, he wid’ve heard. Stupid question.
“She’s fine. She goat a wee bit ae a fright, bit she’ll live.”
“Dae ye know whit division they wur fae?”
“Naw…probably Central or The Marine. She said they wur pavement pounders. They didnae appear tae hiv a set ae wheels wae them, which tends tae suggest they wur local.”
“That disnae mean a thing. They could’ve been tailing her oan fit.”
“Look, Bob…Ah don’t want ye tae take this the wrang way, bit Pearl Campbell is aff limits, so she is.”
“Why the fuck ur ye telling me? Ah don’t hiv any influence o’er her,” The Auld Gangster bleated. “Ah wis the wan that wis daeing you, and her, a wee reluctant favour by getting her a start wae the newspaper, so Ah wis. Remember?”
“She’s been running aboot like a wummin possessed, so she his, working oan that Teddy Bare case?”
“Teddy who?”
“The bizzy inspector that battered his wife tae death across in Govanhill…that Teddy Bare, the wan that’s sitting in here, up in the hospital wing,” Tony replied, watching the sly auld prick carefully.
“Oh, that poncie clown? The wan that thinks he’s Elvis The Pelvis? He wis never a real copper that wan. Pushed pens aw day long doon in Pitt Street, when he wisnae riding aw they wee strumpeting WPCs behind his wife’s back, that is, the clatty basturt. Anyway, ye wur saying?”
“She wis also the wan that heidlined the front page story in The Glesga Echo aboot Shaun’s sudden reappearance.”
“Good article that. And wan ae yer better ideas. See, ye kin come up wae good ideas when ye put yer mind tae things…when ye’re no setting people oan fire, that is. It took me a while tae get ma heid roond that wan, especially wae Danny still being oan the go. He’s another bleating basturt that cannae stoap asking questions. Ah bet Johnboy’s fair chuffed though.”
“She never wrote the fucking article.”
“Whit, is that whit she telt ye?”
“Naw, bit Ah jist know somewan wae her talents widnae hiv written that piece ae shit.”
“Sammy The Rat is helping us oot tae deflect fae aw they gangster heidlines between noo and the date when we’re up at The High Court. Everywan and their granny knows fine well that The Irish Brigade ur pulling the strings behind the scene tae get Bare a light sentence, so they dae. Obviously we’ll take advantage as and when.”
“Whit aboot Victor Ruth and that corrupt basturt fae The Flying Squad?”
“Tinto? That wis us as well. The only difference being that The McGregors ur under the limelight this time. The main thing is tae keep me and Charlie’s name aff the front pages.”
“By gieing Pearl Campbell a using? She’s under oor wing noo, so she is.”
“Naw, no by gieing her a using. Whit she dis fur youse is none ae ma business. The Rat gied her the investigative role oan they Irish Brigade basturts, while slipping in a few wee juicy stories tae keep Hamish McGovern, the paper’s editor, happy. Sammy works oan oor behauf
, looking efter oor interests. If he wants tae use wan ae his journalists tae assist him in that task, then that’s up tae him. That’s whit he dis…that’s his job, so it is.”
“He’s fucking horrible tae her, so he is.”
“Look, Tony, a word ae advice. Don’t come fucking trooping aw the way up here tae this shit hole, bleating tae somewan like me, aboot the management style ae a fucking rat. Christ, efter whit you’ve been up tae, you’ve goat a fucking cheek, so ye hiv. At least there’s nae danger ae him setting her alight,” Wan-bob cursed, the first sign ae a bit humour coming oot ae that gub ae his.
“Okay, then maybe this will grab yer attention. If anything happens tae her again, even if it’s jist wan wee curly hair oan that heid ae hers, then that ratty-arsed rodent ae yours is gonnae lose his.”
“Ha! Ha!”
“Ah’m fucking serious, Bob. He might be her boss, bit we’ve an arrangement. She assists us, so if it’s okay wae you, keep her oot ae whit you and Charlie ur up tae,” Tony growled.
“Why is it that every time Ah dae youse ungrateful basturts a wee favour, against ma better judgement, Ah end up feeling guilty, efter you come running up here tae me, bleating that ye’ve being ripped aff. It’s me that wis daeing youse the favour here. It’s true whit Charlie says. Youse wee fuckers hiv nae appreciation these days. It’s always fucking me, me, me and fuck the rest ae us.”
“So, it sounds tae me as if everything’s working oot fine and dandy wae youse two, despite the fact that youse ur still languishing in here. Wis there any particular reason fur inviting me up here the day?”
Silence.
The problem wae Charlie wis that he still didnae fully appreciate Tony Gucci, the way him and Big Pat always hid, Wan-bob thought tae himsel. Oh, Charlie liked young Tony, bit appreciating and recognising the pizzazz oozing oot ae the young Tally, the way he conducted himsel, pure auld school class, wis a different matter aw thegither. Allowing the baith ae them across tae squeeze in tae the wee narrow booth in the visitor room wisnae an option, which wis a pity. Charlie wid’ve been in his element sparring wae the young Atalian, sitting there like a tailor’s dummy, looking like he didnae hiv a care in the world, as aw the younger female visitors in the room gied him fly wee glances. At their first visit earlier in his remand, he’d thought aw the young things wur eyeing him up because ae who he wis, until the end ae the visit when they’d aw trooped past, gieing Mr Tally Baws, sitting there, wee ‘Ah’m single’ knowing looks. When he’d telt Charlie, he’d pissed himsel laughing at him. It hid crossed his mind tae ask Tony if any ae the Mankys’ lassies wid come up and visit auld Shaky Milne, the pass man, who wis dying ae terminal cancer. They wur aw classy looking young things and wid hiv been a treat fur Shaky, insteid ae wan ae Bella McPhail’s auld boots, which Charlie hid arranged tae visit, bit he thought better ae it. Tony looked as if he wisnae intae playing baw the day. Even though he didnae trust him and cursed him day and night tae Charlie in the cell across in C Hall, it wis difficult no tae furgive the suave basturt. Plus, tae be fair, he’d certainly been hivving a hard time ae late.