by E. M. Moore
My stomach twists again, and I wish I could say I was excited. I’m too nervous for this. There are too many unknowns.
David laughs and pulls her to his side. “Rockport parties are pretty epic. You should’ve seen the ones Ryan used to have before.”
“Ryan had parties?” I ask.
“Well, yeah,” David says, his brows pulling together. “Of course. He’s like top dog at the school. He has to have parties. It comes with the territory.”
I roll my eyes at that. That logic just sounds ridiculous, but I guess it makes sense in the hierarchy of things. I’m sure Ryan plays right into that. Or used to. I don’t know how much he cares about being the top of the food chain at the high school anymore. Or if he ever did. As far as I know, he cares about basketball the most, and that’s it.
We walk into the now familiar house. Tonight, though, there’s zero weirdness from me about this being my father’s house and not mine. It doesn’t even look like the same house I know now. There are people everywhere. Everywhere. Sitting on the back of the couch. Leaning against the walls. Talking on the staircase. The sliding glass doors in the back of the house are wide open, and I can see more people out there and the telltale sounds of splashing coming from the pool.
My eyes scan the room to find just one familiar face besides Dawn’s and David’s. Someone who will come forward to keep me from running right back out. I feel like I don’t belong here. It’s wrong, but I can’t keep the feeling from creeping up the back of my neck anyway.
“Heyyy,” a voice says. It’s Sloan. It only takes me a second to figure that out, and I immediately relax. He’s a tad inebriated, so it took me longer than it usually does. He places his arm around my shoulders and brings me close to him. “Daddy’s Girl, why are you so late?” he pouts. “You made me miss you.”
He nuzzles my neck and goosebumps sprout over my arms. I guess I just got my question answered about whether or not they’d have alcohol here. I feel like such a party virgin. “Where is everyone?”
Sloan holds his hand out wide, gesturing to the rest of the house. “Everyone? Everyone is here.”
“I see that,” I say, slapping him playfully in the chest. “I mean the guys.”
The pout of his lip deepens, and it’s just too cute for words. “Aren’t I all you need?”
I pop up on my tiptoes to give him a peck on the corner of his mouth. “You’re funny, Ivy.”
He takes my good arm and tugs me toward the kitchen. I reach back and grab Dawn’s, and then all of us as a group move toward the huge kitchen island where there’s alcohol lined up along the length of it with a keg at the very end.
My eyes bulge out of my head. “Where did you guys get all this?”
Sloan shrugs. “Older brothers.”
“None of you have older brothers.”
“Not us, silly. I’m talking about other people’s older brothers.”
Another imposing figure comes up behind me. I know already it’s Hayes. He drops his hands on my shoulders, and I tilt my head back to look up at him. “Hey.”
“Hey,” he smiles. Ever since the night we had with my mom, where he told me about his parents, he’s been super affectionate. He was like my sentry before, but now he’s like my sentry who wants to be touching me all the time. The last remaining barrier between us dissolved that night, even though I didn’t realize there was even one in place. I can tell already that Hayes isn’t drunk. Judging by what he told me about his parents, he probably doesn’t drink at all. He seemed pretty passionate about hating what mind-altering substances do to people.
He nods toward Sloan. “I’ll watch her if she wants to drink.”
“I can watch her,” Sloan says defensively, but there’s a lisp to his words that isn’t usually there.
Hayes lifts his eyebrows at him. That’s all he has to do, and Sloan grumbles something under his breath about Hayes always being around. I knock my shoulder into him. “Are you going to make me a drink, Ivy, or what?”
His lips pull apart. “Well, yeah. I just didn’t know what you wanted, beautiful.”
“That makes two of us. I guess you’re going to have to surprise me.” I look over at Dawn. David seems to have handled getting her a drink, so I just wait until Sloan passes me one that he’s made for me. I know for sure it has fruit punch in it along with a bunch of alcohol. “Thank you,” I tell him.
His eyes are half-lidded, giving him an almost dopey look that’s too adorable for words. At that moment, Ryan comes padding into the kitchen. He’s got a pair of swim trunks on, water dripping from his chiseled torso right to the floor the entire way. When he sees me, his eyes light up. He looks me up and down, his gaze roaming over me slowly. He’s another one who’s most definitely in a hazy alcoholic state.
I don’t know how I feel about this. Maybe I’m being the jealous one now, but the fact that he’s dressed like that in front of all these people and girls are making no attempt to hide the looks they’re shooting his way makes my hackles rise. I look away from him as Sloan says, “Got you covered, dude.”
Ryan leans against the island, not saying much. I can feel his eyes on me even though I’m avoiding his gaze. Things have been a little strained between us. We still haven’t had that talk that needs to happen. It’s like we’re both putting it off. Now, seeing him here like this, just reminds me of the asshole he was last year. With the greetings he gets and the appraisals from wandering eyes, I feel like there’s more of a divide between us than normal. It’s disconcerting to say the least.
“You look pretty,” he finally says. Sloan is pouring the last of the alcohol into Ryan’s drink. He holds the glass upside down over Ryan’s plastic cup until the last drops of amber liquid fall from it.
“Thank you,” I say simply.
Finally, he reaches forward and tugs on my arm. His touch is electric. “Come to the pool with me.”
I shake my head and bite my lip. Maybe this is why it feels like there’s still a barrier between Ryan and me. I’m worried he’ll go back to being that king of the school, and the king of the school doesn’t like me.
He tilts his head to the side. I raise my cast up in answer, but he doesn’t change his look. “I wasn’t going to ask you to go in. I just want you next to me.”
My heart stutters to a stop. He just wants me next to him. A warm feeling spreads through my limbs. Hayes gives me a small shove from behind, his hand at the small of my back. After taking his drink from Sloan, Ryan snakes his hand around my waist, holding me to him tightly. The pool water that’s still dripping from him transfers to me, but I don’t care. I feel like I did on the first day of school when I walked through the front doors with Hayes and everyone watched. Walking through Ryan’s house with him at his party draws attention in the same way. If there was doubt before that Ryan and I were a thing, there isn’t anymore. I’m sure people are wondering what’s going on between all of us but let them wonder.
When we finally get to the back patio, I see where most of the people are. There’s barely a free spot in the pool. Bodies are everywhere. The pool light is on, reflecting back a turquoise color, but I can only see glimpses of it through the mess of torsos and limbs. Ryan climbs down the stairs to the water while holding my hand. I sit on the cool cement, legs dangling into the water, and he worms his way between my legs until he’s standing directly in front of me but facing the inside of the pool. Half the basketball team is in the water too, so there’s ample people for us to talk to.
The pool water feels nice against my bare legs. Ryan rubs his hand up and down my right calf, just under the surface. Next to us, Sloan dives into the pool, splashing people while Hayes pulls up a lounger next to Alec, who I wave to. He isn’t drinking either. He’s in the middle of baseball special season, and he has a game tomorrow, so I doubt he’ll be staying all that late. Or maybe he’ll take one of the guest rooms here for all I know. I honestly don’t have any idea how all this works.
Ryan downs his drink, then spins in my le
gs, setting the empty plastic cup off to the side. He pulls me forward on the cement until my ass is teetering on the edge. I squeal, and my drink sloshes a little, so I set it down next to Ryan’s empty cup, barely having drunk any of it. His arms wind around me. “I want you to spend the night tonight.” His eyelashes bat at me. Water from the pool drips off them. Damn, he’s so hot. He went from adorably cute when we were in middle school at camp to the handsome specimen before me.
I open my mouth to answer, but then I just close it again. He’s making it hard for me to think straight.
His gray eyes hover somewhere between twinkling and foggy. It’s an odd juxtaposition. “We don’t have to do anything. I just want you close.”
My heart flips in my chest. Everything he’s saying is pulling me toward yes, but then my rational brain has to kick in. “I don’t know. I didn’t say anything to my mom.”
He moves in closer. His hands finding the hem of my shirt and skirting underneath. “Tell her you’re spending the night at Dawn’s.” His fingers dig into my bare skin, making me shiver. I try to look over my shoulder at the house, but his hold tightens. “Not for your dad. For me. I need you.”
He pulls me over the edge of the pool, my arms around his neck. I sink lower, feeling the water pass up my body until my shorts are completely soaked and half my top. He presses me into the side of the pool. His trunks leave nothing to the imagination as he tips his hips up. Frantic, I look around. “Ryan.”
“Shh,” he says. “No one will care.” His lips pass over mine, and I’m immediately swept away. He keeps feeding me more and more, and he’s become like an addiction. At first, I’m worried what everyone might see, but the more he kisses me, the more everyone else disappears. The talking, the howls, it’s all just white noise because what really matters to me is the guy in my arms. He pulls away. His eyes are fiery now. It’s like the haze has lifted. “You didn’t answer. Stay with me.”
“Ryan…” I swallow. I think I’ve forgotten how to form any other word other than his name.
“Stay,” he pleads.
I nod. “Yes. Yes, I’ll stay.”
He moves in again, capturing my lips and then slipping past the seam to explore me further. His hips keep working into me until I’m cursing my clothes. I wish they would just burn up. For all the heat that’s engulfing me right now, I’m surprised they haven’t done just that.
A throat clears behind us. Ryan pulls away, eyes hard, but when he looks up, they soften. I know it’s Hayes behind us, but evidently Ryan didn’t until he saw who was interrupting us. “Might be a slight problem,” Hayes says.
For a second, I’m confused. Ryan and I kissing is a problem? I thought they were all aware that this is what’s happening, but then a second later, I realize that’s not what Hayes meant at all. A few whistles pierce the air, and then Rhonda Kyle walks in with the skimpiest two-piece I’ve ever seen in my life. Lake is right behind her, his hand tucked under the strings on her hip. Following them is River and the same girl I saw sitting next to him at the lunch table.
I swallow, hard. My body goes rigid. Ryan’s jaw is ticking as he watches them greet others. I’m sure they weren’t invited, but I’m also sure Lake doesn’t give a fuck. I don’t know if the whole school has noticed they’re not as chummy as they used to be, but everyone greets him like he should be here. Some even ask him where he’s been.
“Someone take my place,” Ryan says. He’s already trying to move toward the side of the pool and keep me held up at the same time.
Sloan comes out of nowhere. With my cast still elevated, he moves in between my legs and holds me to him. I feel stupid now. I’m completely soaked up to my chest. My regular clothes. I didn’t bring a swimsuit because I knew I couldn’t swim with this damn cast, but apparently, my mind goes haywire where my Ballers are concerned.
Sloan runs his hand through my hair. The top is dry, but the ends are in the pool and therefore completely soaked. “Don’t even look at them, babe. I can fill in for Ryan.” He raises his eyebrows up and down in quick succession.
This makes me turn away. I know he’s trying to be funny, but it’s not to me. “You’re not a fill-in for Ryan.”
His eyes widen a bit. I don’t know if he meant how it came across, but my implication is clear. None of these guys are just fill-ins for the other. They’re all very special to me, and that’s why I wish I didn’t look like a drowned rat right now. I’d get out of the pool and help deal with this Lake shit. I don’t want something to happen.
Sloan sighs against me when I try to turn toward the scene. “You’re so fucking perfect, you know that?” He kisses my forehead, his lips lingering. Then, he looks up at Hayes. “Make sure Alec doesn’t get involved.”
I don’t hear anything behind me, but Hayes has walked away. I know Sloan is worried about Alec’s baseball season. I would hope Alec would have enough sense not to do anything to put baseball in jeopardy, but I also know he went after Jacquin at camp, so there’s no telling what he’ll do.
A squeal breaks through the other party talk. “I knew you’d come back,” Rhonda shouts with glee.
When I look over, she throws herself at Ryan, hooking her legs around him until she’s plastered herself up against him in her skimpy bikini in the same exact position I was just in. My heart nearly stops. Ryan peels her hands off a second later, but it does no good.
“Oh fuck,” she says, dropping her head back. “You’re hard already, too. It’s the bikini, isn’t it?”
“Get the fuck off me,” Ryan finally says. He grips her forcefully by the waist and dumps her onto the side of the pool. She loses her footing on the edge and goes all the way in. When she comes up, her hair is matted to her head and mascara streaks from her eyes in black clumps. He looks over at her. “I’m not fucking hard for you.”
I bite the inside of my cheek as Sloan laughs and squeezes me tighter to him.
Rhonda sputters. “What the fuck, Ryan?”
“I keep telling you to leave me alone, and I fucking mean it.”
Everyone’s stopped now. No one batted an eye when she called out how hard he was, but this, this is fucking gossip.
“You guys need to leave,” Ryan says, staring down Lake, Rhonda, River, and River’s girl. “You weren’t invited.”
“I’m always invited,” Lake says, that self-assured smirk on his face. I swear it’s been there since I first met him.
“Not anymore.”
Lake approaches Ryan, and Alec gets up from the lounger. Hayes angles himself in front of his friend. For a second, they jostle one another, but both of them look like they’re going to step in at any second. I don’t know why Sloan asked the guy with the temper to hold someone else back. He should be the one in front of Alec right now.
“Don’t do this here,” Lake says, his voice lowering, almost plea-like.
Rhonda pulls herself out of the pool. She stomps toward the sliding glass door, pushing others out of her way like the prissy princess she thinks she is.
“Then you shouldn’t have come,” Ryan says, his voice emotionless. I can’t see his face, but his shoulders are bunched.
Rhonda whirls around at the threshold of the house. “This is all about that skank, isn’t it?” Rhonda snarls. “Where is she?”
My face heats, but I’m not about to lie low for this one. Everyone else in here has already seen me, so I might as well make myself known. I whisper to Sloan, “Can you put me back on the side of the pool?”
He looks like he doesn’t want to, but when I arch an eyebrow at him, he does what I ask. The movement catches everyone’s eye, so as soon as Sloan sets me on the cement, I stand. I wring my shirt out as I walk forward, trying like hell not to get water on my cast. My clothes squish as I go, and the night air sends a shiver through me, but that just might be adrenaline too.
“Right here,” I tell her, giving her my most winning smile.
Rhonda looks me up and down with a disgusted tilt to her lips. “You go against your best
friend…for this?” she sneers.
I disregard her insinuation that I’m not dressed like the slut she is. “You got a little something,” I tell her, pointing to my own cheek, but trying to tell her that her mascara has run all down her face.
She growls. “I know.”
Three bodies immediately surround me. I shrug back at her. “Just trying to help.”
I glance at Ryan. He’s studying Lake. They seem to be having some sort of war without words, but Ryan eventually wins because Lake pulls himself to his full height and turns toward the door. He doesn’t go for Rhonda either, he just tells his brother that he’s leaving. River throws us all what’s supposed to be a punishing look, but it just looks like a grumpy, prepubescent face to me. As soon as they leave the area, Ryan turns and comes right back over to us. His lips are a thin line when he says, “He’s high as a fucking kite. He can’t drive home.”
“Fuck him,” I say.
Ryan eyes me, his throat working. I know he doesn’t blame me for feeling that way, but I also know he still feels for the friend he had. “He could get hurt.”
I pull my cast out, displaying it in front of us for everyone to see “Like this, you mean? Like maybe his basketball career could be in shambles because he made a stupid fucking decision? How about when you’re not the one who made that stupid fucking decision?”
Hayes’s arms settle on my shoulders. “It’s okay.”
I shrug out of them. “The fuck it is. Let him do whatever fucking stupid thing he wants to do.”
Ryan moves forward. He tries to put his arms around me, but I struggle away from him too. His gaze turns hard. “I just don’t want him to die…or God forbid hurt someone else because he’s driving while he’s fucked up. Is that so horrible?”
The back of my throat burns. I’m stuck between wanting to let Lake lie in the bed of his own making and listening to what Ryan says. What if he does hurt someone else? Kind of like what he did to me…
It would still be his fucking problem.
“I don’t care about him anymore, okay?” Ryan says. “This isn’t about him.”