Although guests continued to arrive, the orchestra took its place for the opening set. Sebastian escorted Lilith to the dancefloor, queuing with the other dancers. Walter stood a few people away, partnering a young girl who would have been plain had it not been for the becoming blush rouging her cheeks.
Lilith’s pulse raced. Please, don’t step on toes. Don’t trip over feet. Don’t forget the steps. She said to herself. Then the music began.
Sir and Lady Graham stepped forward, the other couples following suit. The dance was lively and fun. Less than a quarter of the way through the first dance in the set, Lilith was laughing and enjoying herself immensely. There was little similarity between her dance lessons and the real dance, but at least her feet did not fail her. With Sebastian as her partner, who could do wrong? What she would not give to see him and her sister-in-law dancing together.
Oh, but what a treacherous thought. For that to happen, Sebastian would have to host a ball, which he would likely never do, or she would have to go to London with them. Could she accustom herself to balls? If they were all such as this, she believed she could. There was, after all, little mingling and the pleasure of dancing, or so it seemed thus far. She did not deceive herself into believing all parties consisted of dancing without socializing, but if they did, she could be content in Walter’s world, at least so far as the balls were concerned.
As the first dance of the set came to an end, and they waited for the next to begin, Sebastian said, “I’m planning a trip to Roddam Hall on the way home. A long detour, granted, but I’ve business there, and now is as good a time as any. Once I return home, I don’t plan to leave again until parliament returns to session. Care to join me?” Without waiting for an answer, he added, “Collingwood will be joining me.”
Lilith’s smile slipped at the corners.
Roddam Hall. Her childhood home. The home in which she was raised as Lady Lilith. The home she left behind at the age of eight when she was stripped of all she knew to be dumped on the doorstep of an orphanage.
“I’m not sure I can go back,” she answered as the dance began.
This dance had them separate more than together, so conversation paused. Not until the dance brought them together again for a lengthy enough stretch did Sebastian respond.
“It’s cathartic, Lil’. I know our experiences at the hall were different, but I’ve made peace with my time there. You could, as well.”
They separated again, conversation stilted. Her opportunity to respond was delayed by an extended set of figures wherein she had to partner with a somewhat smelly man with bad teeth.
When the dance brought them together, she said, “I hardly know what would be accomplished by going back. What good would more memories do me?”
At last, the dance ended with another break before the last of the set.
Sebastian took advantage of the moment. “I’ve no way to know what you’ll decide for your life, but the hall is yours if you want it. Say the word, and I’ll make it happen.”
Her eyebrows raised, her heart in her throat, she said, “Oh, no, I could never! What would I do there? It’s far too grand.”
“I offer it to you, nonetheless, so you know you have options.”
“I wouldn’t at all belong, ‘Bastian. Imagine me in a grand estate. It’s laughable!” she said with an airy laugh.
He tilted his head to study her. “Do you really think you wouldn’t belong in an estate? If you truly believe that, then what the devil am I doing here chaperoning you and Collingwood?” He clasped her hands as the next dance began. “Lilith, look deeper inside yourself. You’re not a country midwife. You’re my mother’s daughter. Don’t you dare forget it for a minute.”
The dance resumed, Lilith unable to form an answer. The words hung between them.
Her mind worked for the remainder of the dance, rationalizing why she should not return. Strangely, she could think of more reasons why she should. Though she had scoffed at the onslaught of memories a visit might bring, she did want them. She wanted to remember everything, even the bad. Even her father.
Whether it would make her want to join Walter’s world or run screaming, she could not say, but she did want to go back, though not to live. She had her midwifery to return to, of course. The remaining protest she could think of was the backtracking distance to return her to the parish, delaying their arrival to the castle. But then, she realized her brother had no intention of returning her to the parish. Or at least, he hoped she would choose another course.
The dance at an end, Sebastian walked her to the perimeter to join Walter who had already returned his partner to her family. Lilith was short of breath and feeling flushed. Walter was just as bright-eyed. He was in his element. However out of place he looked at the fête, he clearly belonged in the ballroom. His demeanor was at ease, his attire in keeping with those around him, though he remained the best dressed, and his smile revealing his enjoyment. Those who approached him for conversation were met with a flow of topics aimed to set them at ease in the presence of a baron and an earl.
Her heart swelled to know he wanted her. How easy it would be to say yes. Assuming he still planned to propose, that is. He was at liberty to change his mind. Did she dare say yes? In this present moment, she could not immediately recall why she hesitated in accepting him.
They had no chance in which to exchange words, for the second set was cuing, and Walter went in pursuit of his partner. Sebastian stood by Lilith’s side, neither of them engaged for the dance. She found it interesting that no one came up to them to initiate conversation. All had been charmed by Walter, attracted as a moth to a flame, determined to know him and be known by him. No one approached the siblings. Was Sebastian too intimidating? She could count on her fingers the many reasons no one approached her, but it did surprise her no one attempted to befriend Sebastian.
The dancers readied, and before long began their steps to the sound of music. The floor vibrated with their footwork. The music reverberated from the walls. When she first entered the room, it had been chilly from the open windows, but now it was oppressively hot. She longed for a fan.
With a giggle, she reminded herself a fan was entirely practical in the need to keep one’s self cool in a heated ballroom, not a toffish fashion accessory. Well, maybe that as well, but she was not becoming a toff after only a single hour at her first ball.
“There you are,” said Lady Graham, startling Lilith who had been looking the opposite direction. “It’s dreadfully hot in here. Shall we withdraw for refreshments?”
Lilith smiled to be included. Perhaps she had been too hasty in thinking she did not belong in his world.
Sebastian nodded them onward, saying he did not wish to intrude on women’s conversation. If they had not been in a ballroom, Lilith would have stuck out her tongue. Instead, she walked with Lady Graham to the adjacent room.
“I never attend assemblies,” the lady began, “because they’re always overly warm. When I host at Arbor House, I have the doors open to the terrace for the cross breeze. This room is horribly designed. I ask you, what good do windows this high do when the cool air circles about the ceiling? Other than threaten to douse the candles.”
Unsure how to respond when Lilith thought the ballroom remarkably beautiful, she sipped her lemonade and said nothing. How did Walter go about this whole polite conversation business? If she were to spend any more time in this company, she must learn.
Lady Graham was undaunted by Lilith’s silence. Continuing to chatter, she said, “I was asked, of course, to dance this set, as well as the others, but I’ve had to decline all offers except Eugene’s. Oh, I know it’s bad ton to decline, but we are in the country, at a village assembly no less, and so I’m allowed to sit out. Let’s not forget I’m also hosting, so I have every reason to claim I must circulate.”
Lilith understood the situation without Lady Graham having to e
xplain. “It’s unexceptional for you to be fatigued this far along in your condition. Is it only because of the exertion of dancing, or have you been feeling tired at other times, as well? I’ll call on you tomorrow for an examination, shall I?”
Indeed, the woman did look worn. Lilith had been so distracted by the ball, she had not paid attention to the shadows under Lady Graham’s eyes. How selfish of her not to notice! Though this was the lady’s second pregnancy, the first had not been without trials, and that had been precarious given the series of miscarriages she had suffered before finally hiring Lilith as midwife.
Lady Graham grimaced. “How indelicate. This is not the place for such talk. Hush before someone hears you.”
Lilith was taken aback. “Your condition is not something to be ashamed of, Lady Graham. I need to know how you’re feeling to ensure all is well.”
“Never you mind. You’ve done me a great service, and I’m forever grateful, but you needn’t worry about me. Miss Tolpens—or is it Tolknees? I can never remember—is seeing to me now.”
The words were a knife to the heart. Had it not been for Lilith, Lady Graham would have in all likelihood lost her twins. That was not a boast but a fact. What had Lilith done that was so wrong? Why was Miss Tolkey taking her patients when the girl had no experience aside from assisting Lilith from time-to-time as part of her training?
“I fail to understand,” was all Lilith could say.
“Don’t be modest. You’ll be quitting your practice to move in with your family, of course. A lady of your position cannot possibly be employed. And good gracious, no one wants a lady as their midwife, least of all the daughter of an earl. Now, let’s have no more of this talk. You dance well, Lady Lilith. Who was your instructor?”
Lilith swallowed, her throat burning with unshed tears. “Mrs. Brighton.”
“Oh.” The lady pronounced the word as though she had tasted a bitter lemon. “I was under the impression your mother might have hired a dance instructor.”
“Had I been older, perhaps. I entered the orphanage at eight.” Lilith set down her unfinished lemonade, desirous of a return to the ballroom.
“Yes, I see. Let’s have no more talk of that unpleasantness either. Oh, look, there’s Betsy. If you’ll excuse me.” And off she walked, leaving Lilith standing alone.
Lilith rubbed her arms, chilled again and feeling conspicuous. As quickly as her slippers could take her, she returned to Sebastian’s side, her smile dimmer than it had been when leaving the room.
The young lady danced superbly. It was only a shame about her laugh. Should the Beast of Gévaudan laugh, Walter imagined it would be to the same tune. To ensure their continued enjoyment of the set, Walter changed to more somber topics to discourage laughter. Yes, far more congenial company when she was not amused.
He did his best to give her undivided attention, as he did with each partner, but his eyes, of their own accord, alit on Lilith standing next to Roddam. She glowed with excitement. Her first ball.
He looked forward to taking her to a London ball. The inn’s assembly room was stuffy and worn to the point even polish could not resurrect it. Most of those attending wore their Sunday best rather than ball gowns, though there was a fine enough showing of the local gentry to add luster. If she were this starry-eyed at a country assembly, he could only imagine her reaction at a beau monde ball. His imagination immediately leapt to the future. Would she object to hosting a betrothal ball? And simply think of the pleasure of hosting their first event together in London!
When the second set ended, he escorted the young miss back to her family with a bow and words of gratitude for doing him a great honor. During his walk about the perimeter to return to Lilith and her brother, he struggled to recall the girl’s name. For that matter, he could not recall with whom he danced the first set. Lilith nestled in every corner of his mind, distracting him from all else.
Roddam gave a nod, and Lilith lit with happiness. Her eyes brightened. Her cheeks flushed. Her smile widened. If he could be greeted in such a way every day, he would be the happiest man in England. Not long ago, she would have greeted him with a frown, straightened posture, and clasped hands, but now, oh, now, by Jove she must seriously be considering accepting him. One did not greet suitors with this much enthusiasm unless there was an anticipated yes to an unasked question.
Had Roddam had a chance to mention the hall? Walter was undecided if he should propose before or after the trip. He would watch for more signs of her inclination first. When sure of her decision, he would ask.
“You’re radiant, my dear Lilith,” he said, taking his place by her side.
She tutted but the deepening smile gave her away. “Don’t be absurd. I’m no competition to the women here.”
“Fishing for a compliment? Very well. You’re correct in not being competition because you’re in a league of your own.”
“Good heavens. I was not fishing for a compliment, but you did well enough to have me pink-cheeked for a week,” she said, setting her hand on his sleeve.
“Impeccable timing, then, because I do believe the next set is mine.”
He wished every set could be his. The trouble was, etiquette dictated only one set could be danced between the same two people. Two sets signified courtship. Three was a scandal. If her dance card had not yet filled, he would reserve a second set.
Their dance was more sedate than the previous two lively ones, which suited Walter well enough. It offered more opportunity for conversation.
How differently she carried herself compared to the other girls. More becoming. More enticing. She was genuine, and in an age of false façades, such a trait was a marked rarity. There was a poise and a natural grace to her movements he had not seen in the previous two dancers. Her expression revealed unadulterated enjoyment. Such an expression would never be seen at a London ball. Some might consider it gauche, but he found it refreshing and alluring, certainly in comparison to the bored frowns of the other women in the room. Their faces said they had seen better dances. Her face said she would cherish every moment.
The dance at an end, he led her back to Roddam.
The rector was buzzing like a midge at Roddam’s side. When the clergyman saw them approach, he cast a reproachful glance at Walter, as though scolding a naughty schoolboy, and walked off before they were halfway across the dancefloor.
Why Walter felt guilty, he could not say. The rector was under the impression Lilith was Walter’s mistress, but aside from leaving her cottage alone one day, he had done nothing deserving reproach. Well, he had kissed her on more than one occasion, but never within eyesight of others. All his witnessed actions were of honorable courtship. Why the man should think so ill of them, Walter was at a loss to understand.
Aside from the horridly improper conversation the rector and he had shared at the inn, which had included blackmail and veiled threats, the man irritated Walter. Even while ingratiating himself, Mr. Sands maintained an air of superiority as though he thought himself equal, if not better.
To top off the annoyance, Walter noticed that neither he nor Miss Tollbridge, or whatever her name was, spoke to Lilith, obviously cutting her, a move that would not be missed by those present. And what of Miss Turnkey? Was she uncomfortable with Lilith’s change in status with an earl as a brother? Or had the Reverend Sands said something to her? Surely not. That would be a new low for the man to stoop to unfounded rumor.
Shrugging it off, he returned Lilith to her brother, conversed for a brief exchange, then sought his next partner of the evening. Though Lilith did not dance this set, she did dance the set after with Sir Gene.
Following a trip to the refreshments, Walter invited her for their second set together. He had waited to ask to give others the opportunity to solicit her hand, as well as to give Lady Graham a chance to introduce her to possible dance partners, all the while worrying he would not get that so-desire
d second turn. When he asked and found the set available, he was both surprised and relieved.
Throughout their second set together, he wondered why no one had asked her to dance. Could they not see she was stunning this evening? Or was it they knew her as Miss Chambers and could not accept her as Lady Lilith? Whatever the problem, he could not see it. What he could see was their dancing twice together had drawn a fair bit of attention, as he knew it would. A quick glance around the room revealed no one watched them, but he could feel them watching as they whispered behind their fans speculation as to why he singled her out.
This would confirm his courtship. With luck, this would elevate Lilith in their eyes. She was not an aged spinster forgotten in a parish orphanage. She was the daughter of an earl and now the sister of an earl, beautiful, eligible, and wanted by a peer. Yes, he was positive this would do wonders for her reputation and their acceptance of her as Lady Lilith.
For the next two sets, he danced with acquaintances of the Carmichaels, two lovely ladies introduced to him by Mr. Carmichael, one being a neighbor of his and the other being the sister of one of his schoolmates. They each led the conversation with him needing to do little more than respond in the affirmative.
His return to Lilith was remarkably different than when he had walked to her after the second dance of the evening. She did not notice his approach. Her eyes were fixed on the wall across the room, her hands hugging her arms. The bright smile drooped. Roddam had gone to fetch beverages he assumed, for the man was nowhere to be seen. Before he could reach her to ask what was amiss, Sir Gene stopped him. The man babbled, but Walter’s attention was fixed on Lilith.
And then he overheard what Lilith must have been hearing.
A group of young ladies, including his next dance partner, was standing not too far from Lilith, talking about her. He assumed they did not realize their voices carried. He strained to focus on the words above Sir Gene’s talk about the fast-approaching autumn fox hunt.
The Baron and The Enchantress (An Enchantress Novel Book 3) Page 28