I really will blow shit up if they do things my way.
“What?” Ezekiel asks.
Clearing my throat, I remember how terrible at deception I am, and go with deflection instead.
“Kai told me why you went missing,” I say as I smile up at Jude, even though the smile is forced and I don’t feel all that spunky.
His eyes narrow on me, and my smile starts turning more genuine.
He’s still Jude. Jahl isn’t anywhere close to his head anymore, because he looks like he’s ready to kill me or fuck me. I never can tell which.
Since he only touches me when at least one of the others is around, it’s a toss-up in this moment.
“Why would he tell her that?” Jude gripes, looking over my head at Ezekiel.
Ezekiel groans. “For the sake of distraction, because we wanted her to stop setting the room on fire. Lying on the floor sucks. Call Lamar. Tell him to refurnish the room.”
I put my fingers to my head, and silently chant the request to Lamar.
“Does that work?” Jude asks in surprise.
“I don’t know, but have you seen a phone in hell?” I ask him as I look up.
His look turns flat, and he goes back to the kill-or-fuck glare.
“They have communication devices,” he says as though he’s an idiot for being gullible, and I’m an idiot for forgetting that.
“Oh yeah! Sorry. I’m delirious without any rest after my big fight, because you all got pissed and went off on your own to get caught in a trap,” I remind him, arching an eyebrow to drive home the thick condescension.
“This is why I want to throttle you most of the time,” he grinds out, even as he wraps his other arm around me.
“Really? I thought it was because my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard,” I deadpan.
He blinks a few times, and Gage snorts. I smile up at Death, who…is still glaring.
“When you say things like that with a straight face, I half worry you’re serious,” he says as he shakes his head and blows out a breath of frustration.
“I am serious. I’m vain like that. Didn’t you hear? It’s one of my impurities,” I tell him as I push away from him, resisting the urge to wrap my arms around him and squeeze him tightly in a hug that he would likely despise.
There’s a knock at the door, and we all swing our gazes to it. Gage hops up to swing it open, and there stands Lamar.
I blink a few times, and Gage stares in disbelief.
Lamar gives us a bright smile. “I heard the downed horseman had awoken. I take it you’re ready for new furnishings now?”
“Oh sweet hell. That really worked,” I state with total shock and utter excitement. “I’m so freaking powerful that I can connect to minds too!”
Lamar blinks a few times as I fist-pump the air.
“What’s she talking about?” he asks, deflating my bubble.
Or…maybe he doesn’t want me knowing that I have that power…
Lucifer could be forcing him to play dumb.
I rub my hands together wickedly as a thousand and one fun ideas come to mind to test the theory. Later. I’m too tired to control people right now.
“We’re ready,” Gage says, even though I notice he’s staring at me with a knowing look, as though he can read my mind.
I stop rubbing my hands together and school my features, playing it cool. Gotta act like you belong around here.
“I’m going to escort your boys to Manella’s room so they can go over some of the journals I’ve been poring over. You get some rest, and pick one to stay with you so you can rest without nightmares,” Lamar says like the most thoughtful person in Hell. “I’ll know if we’re getting sucked into an illusion, and I’ll be able to siphon us out. Jahl can’t block my siphoning abilities, because Manella has fortified me over the long centuries,” he adds like he’s read my mind and knows all the buts I could have.
I don’t want them out of my sight for long. At least not until I pry information out of Lamar about these Jahl attacks. But if they can help them get stronger without using my get-beaten-all-to-hell trick, then…I have no choice but to trust Lamar.
Especially since he knows I’ll kill him if something happens to them and is willing to put his life on the line to help out.
I’m also too tired to argue.
“Unless you’re too tired,” he tells the guys.
“I’m certainly not,” Jude says as he stands, going to pull on one of the few pairs of sweats that have survived my fiery mood swings.
I struggle to my feet, swaying, and finally realize just how exhausted I truly am. I go to plop down on Kai’s lap, and his arms immediately go around me, even as he continues to snore.
“I guess she’s picked her horseman,” Ezekiel grumbles.
“I’m attention starved too,” Gage inserts with dry humor that I can’t appreciate right now.
I’m too busy snuggling up on Kai’s lap and getting comfortable, eyes almost fluttering shut.
“I’ll give you plenty of attention when I wake up,” I promise him around a yawn.
I’m not sure if I doze off or if they all disappear so suddenly, but when my eyes reopen, it’s silent, and Kai’s lips are dragging across my forehead in the newly furnished room that doesn’t look like a bomb went off.
“Why are we alone?” he asks as he lifts me and spreads my thighs.
He turns me in one swift motion. When he drops me, I’m straddling him.
Even though I’m tired, a lazy grin spreads across my lips.
“They’re with Lamar and Manella,” I tell him.
He stands abruptly, effortlessly carrying me to the bed, and his lips are on mine before my back even hits the mattress.
“I’ll do all the work,” he assures me against my lips. “And then we can go back to sleep,” he adds.
I go phantom, turn naked, and turn back whole…all within a few blinks. He wrenches my hands above my head, as he skips all the foreplay and shoves inside me before I can even respond.
I kiss him, happy to lose myself in him for an hour or two, and remember the good part about having four boyfriends I have to worry to death about.
Kai’s kiss is almost frantic, as he works me to my first orgasm so quickly that it blindsides me, and I’m forced to break the kiss to gasp for air.
He kisses his way down my neck, still thrusting with abandon, as he drags one of my legs over his hips.
That’s when I feel it.
My soul that shouldn’t exist reaches out, and I know what it means when his touches mine. I realize very quickly this is a lot more than just some quick and hot sex.
Instead of some candle flickering, fire blazes around the room, but he doesn’t stop. If anything, his rhythm gets rougher, and I smile against his shoulder as I wrap my arms around his neck, bringing my lips close to his ear.
“I love you too,” I whisper.
A groan escapes him when the words seem to end the fun part very abruptly, and his hips still against me before I can find the second orgasm.
But I don’t need it.
Tears cloud my eyes as I cling to him, and he shudders against me as I wrap myself around him more.
They’ve gone in order.
One. Two. Three.
I first saw them in the order they’d fall in love with me?
Is that the method to the madness?
Could I have known them well enough to have prepared for that, even if they wouldn’t remember me and are notably different, according to Lamar?
His breaths are shaky as he holds me closer, but after the miserable worry and panic I’ve endured for two days, I can’t help but let the tears fall during this one really good moment.
I won’t take a second of the good for granted from here on out. It could be the last few weeks I’m alive.
At the end of the day, I’ll do anything to ensure they live. Even if they love me, it’s not the epic love it once was.
If I die, they won’t be lost in torment the way they were b
efore.
They’ll live.
Regardless of whether I did this to save the world or not, one thing I do know is that the tradeoff was them having a chance to go on…even if it’s without me.
This is the moment where I finally realize, with no hesitance and pure certainty, what I need to do. Unfortunately, it means leaving them alone after assuring them they’d never get to be alone ever again.
Chapter 14
JUDE
“Unicorns! Oh, evil unicorns! Come out, come out wherever you are!” Paca calls into the dark forest that makes my skin crawl.
Every sound has us whirling around, hackles raised, while The Apocalypse skips and frolics through the wiggling-fingers as though this is a picnic outing.
I’m not sure how this became my life so suddenly.
“I expected her to struggle a little more with the torture chambers than she did,” Gage states in an unimpressed tone. “Considering we were tortured there for centuries and still suffer those nightmares and all.”
“She feigned indifference there,” Kai says as though he suddenly knows her better than the rest of us. “She’s trying to prove she can be a good girl—well, good by our standard, that is.”
He and Paca have been noticeably closer since we left them alone to go do some research yesterday. They were naked and coiled around each other, while steadfast asleep, when we finally returned.
Manella has our old journals as part of his private library collection. We couldn’t even wake them up enough to tell them about it, because they were clearly exhausted, and it wasn’t hard to tell why, considering the new furnishings had been set ablaze once more.
Unbelievable.
Paca hasn’t even checked on my non-existent wound.
In fact…she’s not really paid me much attention at all since I came to.
Scrubbing a hand over my face, I shoot a glare to the back of Kai’s head when she runs up and grabs his hand, excitedly tugging him toward what is possibly the darkest, craziest section of the dark forest.
“She likes this more than I was expecting,” Ezekiel states flatly as he crosses his arms over his chest. “Why is Kai getting special treatment? I should be her favorite right now.”
“You think they did that thing you two did with her?” I ask as I narrow my eyes more in suspicion, gesturing between him and Gage.
One of the creepy trees leans over, handing Paca a flower as though it’s showing respect, and Gage snorts as she takes it and thanks the fucking tree.
“If he did do that love confession thing, then he’s definitely the favorite for now,” Ezekiel concludes on a disgruntled sigh.
Kai is grinning like he’s winning something as he squeezes her ass, carelessly turning his back on the live trees that will rip you to shreds. They don’t attempt any funny business with her royal highness, the favored and unpredictable hell-spawn, hanging out nearby, though.
My breath rushes out in surprise as a fireball zips by my head, and a loud roar sounds from behind me as a few more fireballs zip by.
I whirl around, along with Ezekiel and Gage, in time to see a massive centaur drop to the ground. A plume of ash shoots through the air when the dead weight hits with a heavy thump that shakes the ground.
I release a shuddering breath, because I didn’t know anything had even crept up on us.
Paca comes running up, holding Kai’s hand as though this is date night, as she smiles over at us.
The centaur groans and whines on the ground, holes punched through its body from Paca’s fireballs, as it slowly dies.
“Watch this!” Paca says as I take a large step away from the centaur.
We’ve only tried fighting one of those once, and we were grateful the forest faded before it got its second wind, because we used a lot of our energy…and got nowhere. She took it down in less than a few seconds.
“Seriously, watch,” Paca says, regaining our attention as she smiles and eats the flower.
“What the fuck are you doing?” Ezekiel gripes as she goes phantom, changes into some ridiculous red-overalls, a matching hat, and a white T-shirt.
Then she turns whole again…
“I ate a flower and now I’m fireball Mario. Get it?” she asks as she holds her palm up and shoots a few more fireballs into the centaur to kill it when it tries to bite Gage with its fangs.
I don’t get it, because I’m not obsessed with video games.
Gage sighs and palms his face, shaking his head.
Ezekiel struggles not to smile.
Kai is all grins like he’s proud to stand at her side.
I’ve got a migraine.
The centaur bursts into ashes suddenly, and the forest wavers.
“No! I haven’t gotten to see a unicorn yet!” Paca gripes as she glances around at the frozen black tundra that takes its place.
“What if you killed the last one?” she asks as she turns an accusing look toward me.
I stalk off, because I’m seconds away from throwing her over my shoulder and putting something in her mouth to shut her the hell up, before she drives me insane.
All that power…trapped inside one really absurd woman.
A really ridiculous woman who stayed at my side, exhausted, worried, and barely holding her shit together, while I was downed by our enemy. I was downed too easily.
Her thin thread of sanity hinges on us, and we have to catch up to her level somehow. We can’t afford so many distractions, and her lack of concern for how terrifyingly powerful this place is…is…insanely emasculating.
Spinning my scythe, I ignore her as she hums something different than the usual Mario tune.
“What are you humming?” Kai asks with interest, like the suck up he is today.
Paca almost knocks me over as she zips by, shooting fireballs from her hands and jumping up and down without bending her knees.
She takes out some weird hanging plant things that have some vicious teeth.
“It’s the underground music Mario gets when he travels through a pipe to the darker underbelly portions of the game,” she explains as though it’s crucial information, as she whirls around and actually spits out some fireballs.
“Her recent upgrade worries me a little,” Gage states with zero emotion, while Paca continues to playfully kill off fearsome beasts from Hell’s Black Heart.
“I remember a time when she struggled with the Blind Tribe. It wasn’t that damn long ago,” Ezekiel notes as he studies her.
We’ve painfully and exhaustingly fought against some of these beasts a single fireball from her takes down.
“Where’s the flag pole?” she crows, fist-pumping the air as the last of the fifty-ish beasts collapses beside her.
“That took two minutes,” Kai says as though he’s getting turned on, his lips only curving higher in a stupid smile I want to punch off his face.
“Manella’s theory is that we can power up faster if we unite our powers and synchronize our attacks with some sort of specialized strike. He fell asleep before he could finish explaining. Anyway, we can’t do that if our girlfriend is going to hog all the expendable monsters so that she can role play a nineties video game,” I say very loudly, as Paca rocks back on her heels, whistling as her eyes look anywhere but at me.
“My bad,” she finally chirps, not sounding the least bit sincere. “For the record, Mario is still relevant to this day,” she adds as she turns and goes phantom.
Her outfit changes into some frilly maid costume, and Kai trips over his own feet, as his mouth actually pops open.
“Close your mouth and have some dignity. It’s just one of many sexy outfits she’s—”
My words die, and I throw my hands up in disbelief when he practically tackles her, lifting her off the ground as his hands slide up to her ass. He kisses her like we’re not standing in the most dangerous place in fucking Hell.
“This isn’t Disney Land!” I remind them. “There is a lot of fucking danger—”
Without even looking, Pa
ca releases her chakrams, and I suck in a breath as they split, flying through the two gaps between our three bodies. Whirling around, I spot thirty-ish four-headed beasts, and the chakrams attack them one after another, as though they’ve been preprogrammed for this battle.
I watch as the chakrams finish downing the beasts, and they zip by us on the way back to her awaiting hands. She breaks the kiss with Kai to blow the smoke off them, and she winks over at us.
Kai turns, grinning over his shoulder toward us, as Gage and Ezekiel glare back at him.
“You did the love thing, didn’t you?” Ezekiel asks as his hands go to his hips, a disapproving scowl etching his features. “You couldn’t have let me be the favorite for a while longer?”
“Why is that important right now?” I groan, pinching the bridge of my nose.
“The love thing? Could you please not steal all the romance from those soul-touching moments?” Paca asks in a dry tone.
I glance around, wondering if she realizes this is the motherfucking Black Heart. It unnerves me how gravely she can lower the bar for what’s considered ‘romance.’
“Ideal setting for a makeout session and this pointless conversation,” I tell them with a smartass smile and a thumb’s up.
Paca loses interest in us when Kai whispers something against her ear that makes her smile so wide it has to hurt.
“Unbelievable. I got her for a minute before she went to battle and then got stuck tending Jude. Leave it to Kai, that fucker, to steal my time in the spotlight before I even get to savor it,” Ezekiel grumbles as he stalks toward them.
“You do realize we’re supposed to be getting stronger, right? We have a game plan.” I run a hand through my hair in frustration. “This is really not the time or place to be working toward a tag-team,” I add when Ezekiel presses in from behind her.
“She gets stronger every time one of us surrenders,” Gage says quietly to only me, confusing me for a moment as I cut my eyes toward him. “What if you’re now the only thing holding her back?”
I look him over, because he’s off his rocker.
“What are you talking about?” I ask him.
He levels me with his change in expression, as though a storm of emotion is brewing beneath his usual icy exterior.
One Apocalypse (The Dark Side Book 4) Page 11