It’s like I knew without knowing what had to be done.
As a tear escapes Ezekiel’s eyes, and Kai loses his shit, thrashing his body against the barrier like it’ll yield, I whisper, “I’m so sorry.”
Their lips move frantically, but the noise behind me drowns out any other sound, as Jahl continues to regather itself.
“Paca!” Kai shouts, his shout barely overriding the storm.
“No,” Jude yells so loud I manage to hear. “Don’t you fucking dare. Get us in there now!”
A single tear slides down my cheek, and I give him a tight smile. “Don’t be such a dick in the next life, Tin Man. I’m sure I’ll be back.”
Then my gaze flicks to the rest of them, seeing the terror and panic in all their eyes. “And don’t hold out so long on the next Ghost Girl. I never gave up my love for you, so I’ll find you, even if I don’t remember you,” I say as I turn around.
It’s almost impossible not to look back when I hear the pain and desperation in their shouts. Another tear burns against my cheek when I hear the rawness in their voices that devolves into frenzied begging.
“So this was really your plan all along and not just my backup plan, huh, Paca?” I ask as I choke back the emotions, steeling myself as I face the chaotic shadow that is still growing. “You really were a cruel bitch, but I guess I love them just as much as you fucking did.”
I take a few beats to click my heels together, but Dorothy is just one more agonizing disappointment from the movies. I suppose it’s for the best. This thing would be knocking on the door in no time.
“A little mood music would be nice!” I call up to the dove that’s hovering overhead, even as the crow sits perched and shakes its head.
Blaze of Glory by Jon Bon Jovi starts blaring overhead right at the chorus.
I let out a weary sigh. “You pick now to have a sense of humor? You know I hate irony!”
The music just gets louder, and I curse the angel who has the audacity to call me evil.
I take a few steps, staring over the amassing blubber.
“I think someone forgot to tell you my fucking name!” I call up to it.
My heart tears into four pieces, as I keep my eyes trained on the growing blob that is still being formed, all the pieces slowly melting to join it.
It’s so loud that it feels like I’m stuck in the middle of a vacuum tunnel as the wind whips my face with dust that feels more like razors.
Indulging in that one brief second where all I can hear is the sound of my heartbeat speeding up, as the selflessly selfish decision is made, I release one last breath of resignation, and I swallow down any lingering hesitation. Shaking out the last of my nerves, I watch the center that wobbles with a weakness.
This isn’t a video game. I just have to take him down so far that the third resurrection isn’t as powerful.
That’s why she put the secondary trigger in them. My backup plan was her finalized plan.
“Let’s hope we’re right,” I whisper to the ghost I’ll be joining soon.
Staring at the distance between me and final destination, I dig my feet in, stop thinking, and charge headfirst toward the belly of the beast, as the wind tries its damnedest to knock me off my feet.
My skin starts burning like acid is tearing me apart, slicing me through me and unleashing excruciating pain as I race faster, blocking out the violent lashes it continuously hits me with.
The center of it groans when I don’t stop, the sound vibrating and hitting like a hammer to my chest as I fight for every bit of progress.
A cry is ripped from my throat, when flames too hot for even me to bear, erupt across my arms and legs, burning inwardly. But I fight through it, even as tears are stripped from my eyes.
Just as I’m ten feet away, I summon all my strength, pulling it to my chest, trusting that intuition I left myself with once upon a lifetime ago.
The center of the shadow goo wobbles harder, and the pressure of the burns intensify, but I don’t stop.
Putting my head down, I face the beast like I once faced life.
Fearlessly.
Power pulses as I turn myself over completely, becoming the weapon I was designed to be, even as the searing pain drags my last scream out of me.
Gritting my teeth, I take one last breath before it all turns white, and whisper, “Welcome to The Apocalypse, bitch.”
Chapter 33
EZEKIEL
“Paca, no!” we all shout as one, helplessly stuck against the proverbial glass wall separating us from her as she visibly takes a breath and runs headlong into the dark holds of Jahl.
Blaze of Glory blares over our heads, overriding our shouts, as she charges ahead, never looking back, even as my heart damn near crashes through the motherfucking barrier to chase after.
It’s all dark shadows and black liquid, a piling assembly with no form or shape—just a surrounding presence that nearly fills in the entire cage directly after she disappears into the thickest part of it.
“No! No! No!” I shout, bashing my fists against the barrier again.
A spark of light from the center starts so small, but it quickly grows with very little build, exploding outward until the light turns into a blinding flash.
All the sound is gone, the song cutting out just as abruptly, and for a minute, our feet leave the ground as we float into the air, eyes widening on the light so bright it finally burns the eyes.
Our bodies float higher, as the deafening silence drones on, and suddenly the entire world around us quakes. A thunderous roar drums so hard and so suddenly at us, that I feel one side of my ear burst, painfully exploding inside my skull, as my entire body is rocked and blown back.
The heat sprays over me, as I drop to the ground below, rolling across it and bouncing roughly across the surface I skip over like a poorly tossed stone.
I’m barely able to crack an eye open to see the nearly white light still streaking across the top of us, obliterating everything in its immediate path, as the last of the cage is presumably destroyed.
The light stretches on for as far as I can see, taking with it anything not on the ground like the four of us.
It’s missing us by inches.
I try to stand up, but the pressure leaking off that blare of light is so strong it forces me back to my stomach, even as I cry out, desperately trying to crawl or move.
Tears leak down my face, burning against my skin, as I choke back the next cry.
Gage yells for Paca, panic flowing out of him, as the light shuts off as suddenly as it all started, and we all scramble to our feet.
I sway, unsteady, my ears ringing, as the scent of fire and brimstone rule the air. Ashes rain on endlessly, forcing me to wipe my face as I stagger and sway.
Something wet drips to my hand, and I glance down, seeing the soot and blood staining my hands.
My lips move, but no words come out, as my eyes burn more and more, the panic in my chest doubling and crushing down on me like a relentless weight.
That cruel fucking girl did it to us again. She did it to us a-fucking-gain.
Kai drops to the ground on his knees when we finally make it to the place where she disappeared, finding the melted remnants of her crown.
With shaking hands, Jude lifts it, falling sideways and landing on his ass, as he fights with all his strength not to let the tears fall.
The sound is distant, even if it should be coming from right beside me. I can hear the muffled pieces of Kai’s roar, his head tipped back, eyes screwed shut, as he yells at nothing and everything.
I fight the battle of not doing the same thing, even as he drops to his hands and knees, his entire body shaking as he pounds the ground twice with his fists.
Gage is clutching ashes in his hand, staring blankly ahead as his lips just barely part, even as he visibly swallows over and over.
Jude grips both sides of his head, his scythe clanging against the ground as he stares with wide, disbelieving eyes, lost to shock and
struggling for composure.
The sound trickles back in, Kai’s yells getting louder and more distinct.
“She can’t,” Gage starts, forced to swallow back his own emotion when his voice cracks. “She can’t be gone,” he says on another choked sound that grows clearer and clearer to my ears.
I stagger up to my feet, feeling my blood start to boil as the tears leak. The anger rises, and my body shakes with the growing rage.
The ashes slowly start trying to settle in.
No.
They can’t possibly be trying to reform.
No.
It’s so slow that it’s fucking with my head, because seeing is believing, but it couldn’t have survived that. Not if she didn’t.
That fucking girl went and died right in front of us, and this thing is still alive?
No.
“No,” Jude grinds out through the clenched teeth, his jaw wobbling as he staggers from side to side, trying to get his balance. “Fuck no!” he screams to the shaking ashes. “She doesn’t die and you live! That’s not how this goes! FUCK NO!” he shouts, his entire body vibrating with the same fury that’s shaking mine.
Gage slams his sword into the ground, wiping his eyes with one hand, as his own jaw grinds into an angry clench. Kai’s eyes turn to solid black slits as he blinks from side to side instead of up and down, with a set of eyelids he didn’t have before.
I cut my gaze to the ashes that are being sucked in, slowly forming that shadow again.
“Fuck no,” I agree in a quiet, seething tone.
A streak of black light blinds us in a different way, cutting out all the light and submerging the world in utter darkness, as the world rattles with the sound of stampeding hooves that echo all around, the ground steadily vibrating louder and louder.
The pain cuts through me so fiercely I swear I’ve found the mercy of death, as my body goes weightless once more.
And for a liberating moment, I’m certain I’m dead.
Until something nudges me, a warm breath snorting against my head.
I open my eyes, blinking against the gray light, uncertain how long my aching body has been lying on the ground. My gaze lands on my forgotten horse, who stomps the ground beside me like he’s trying to get me on my feet.
Pushing its head away, I look around and find my three best friends staring blankly ahead at the charred remnants of a battle that seemed to have happened ages ago instead of moments.
Gage cuts his eyes to me, as Rafael appears before us. I can barely breathe as I await a miracle, expecting him to tell us Paca was blown to China and is digging her way back to us as we speak.
“My balance has been purified enough for me to actually find compassion, even for the four of you, in a moment like this,” the archangel says like we give any fucks at all what he has to say.
My hand grips my staff, and I force myself up to my feet, limply swinging it at him.
He easily dodges me, as my weak legs collapse out from under me, and I crash against the ground. The air is knocked out of my lungs, and pain shoots through me from all the many things broken or battered.
“So I’ve come to tell you about a conversation I had with Paca, where she told me the weapon won’t cease to exist, only the memories that made her that version of her will be gone. According to her very reasonable theories. And to tell you that memories aren’t what made her. It was all of you,” he says, clearing his throat as if he finds this terribly uncomfortable. “She clearly didn’t trust me to raise that cage and let you finish the job she somehow knew she couldn’t. I guess in either life, she was ensuring you got to have that final kill shot to sate your need for wrath.”
Gage makes a strangled sound and lunges at the angel, trying to stab him, but crashes with the same grace as I did, because everything hurts. Nothing is working, and we just need one shot to put this motherfucker down.
My chin wobbles, and Rafael looks away, his own jaw tensing.
“I’m sorry to see you in this state when my compassion runs so high, because I feel compelled to tell you that she believes she’ll return. To wait for her, and to let her love you when she comes back. To survive and thrive in her absence, and to be more grateful boyfriends who bring her roses and such,” he says.
Jude smothers a choked cry, as he covers his eyes with both of his arms, lying flat on his back, as his body shakes with silent sobs.
Gage buries his face in his arms, belly-down, as I fight really damn hard against the dam trying to explode free and release a lot of painful pressure in my chest. As my breaths get shallower and shallower, Rafael’s lips tense.
“You won a battle no one thought you could win, but as with all things, there’s always a price to be paid. You only lost one piece of her. So long as you live, so will her memories. So long as you exist, she will return. So long as you’re alive, she’ll come back to you. That much I believe with every fiber in me. I may not understand it, but The Apocalypse does know how to love hard enough to defy the natural order and make her own rules up as she goes, just so she can have her twisted happily-ever-after in Hell for all eternity with her horsemen. She’ll never feel like she’s had enough time to love you. She’ll give up anything at all…except the four of you.”
He turns but pauses.
“If you don’t survive this, she’ll have to wait even longer to try and return, and who’s to say that she can even do all of that again. Make it easy on her, and don’t go doing something stupid that puts you down.”
He vanishes from sight, not saying anything else, as we continue staring ahead at the remains of a battle the world will never know was fought. Hell won’t be told much about it. Upstairs won’t bring up the fact it was such a lowly being who had to step in. Topside will never have a clue a day has changed.
She did all this knowing as much.
She only died to keep us alive.
“She better fucking come back,” Kai says on a hushed, serious whisper. “She better fucking come back,” he says again before his voice breaks.
I hobble to my feet and siphon away.
She better fucking come back.
Epilogue: Part I
GHOST GIRL
Oh, Two is taking his time today. The others are going to be so mad.
The little wiseass grin flirting with his lips lets me know he’s doing this on purpose, taking longer than the usual ten minutes they’re allowed.
Rather unique guys, these four. Their rules and boundaries seem so bizarre and confusing sometimes.
I’m not really sure who they are, but I do know we’re quite literally in Hell, so they’re definitely not good guys. In fact, they seem to be high up on the pecking order.
Definitely, definitely not the good guys.
My eyes move over the other three as they clean themselves up, rolling their eyes at Two. I used to give them privacy for these very…odd moments between them. They make it a point not to look at each other, stay quiet, and hurry along their…self-pleasuring under the ten minute period.
When I’m a real girl, I’m not going to waste my time on masturbation. I’m going to teach these guys the fun you can have when you add a woman to the party. A small little evil laugh echoes in my head, and I rub my hands together with wicked glee, just thinking of all the dirty scenarios I could find myself in with them.
Hmmmm…maybe I’m part of Hell too.
Back to the point: I’m under the impression they have to be together to make this happen. Which is insanely intriguing, if I’m being honest.
What would happen if they had a girl all at once? Since they don’t seem to favor men sexually, it’s clearly a fair question. I mean, they like each other enough to whack off in the same place, but not enough to help each other out with the task, if you know what I mean.
They tend to ignore women as a general rule, but I’ve spent the past three out of five-and-half years perfecting the speech I’ll use to tempt them into considering my proposal.
I’m a bit shameless
that way, it seems.
Two is finally making that guttural sound between clenched teeth, and I watch him, unabashedly moving my hand over his as he finishes. It makes it feel like I’ve helped.
I’ve done a lot of questionable things like this over the years. It’s not like they know it, and you have fewer morals when no one can hear, see, feel, touch, or taste you.
I also learned their names after I could finally hear, but I usually call them by their numbers like someone would a pet name.
Two—Kai—stands, and the other three of them flip him off.
Kai’s my favorite. He’s the one who drives the others the most insane. I think we’d get along. Not to mention, he’s so damn pretty to look at.
Obviously, I want all four, though.
Next I’d have Jude—One. Mostly because he looks like he wants to fuck something really hard when he’s concentrating on relieving his baser urges.
Then I’d have Three—Ezekiel. He has this really intense mouth when he’s on the crest. It’s indescribably sexy and tempting. I want to be the one who causes that expression.
I’m surprised their hands don’t have callouses. They do this twice a week.
I follow out Gage—Four. My least favorite. He’s always the first one finished, and actually falls asleep sometimes while waiting on the others. It’s just ten damn minutes.
When I’m finally a real girl, I certainly don’t want the fun to end after a few quick strokes. Especially not after the way I’ve built it up in my head.
These virgins are going to have their work cut out for them.
At least I assume they’re virgins. I’ve been watching them all this time and haven’t seen them actually have sex with anything but their individual hands.
“Is this Hell’s version of group therapy?” I ask them.
One Apocalypse (The Dark Side Book 4) Page 23