by Elin Peer
“I think I love you too.”
Leo used his left hand to cup my face. “You think or you know?”
My face softened. “I know that I love you.”
“You sure?”
The hope on his face made me smile. “Yes, I’m sure.”
He was searching my eyes. “Don’t say it if you don’t mean it.”
“I love you.” My smile widened. “I’m not sure when it happened exactly but I was physically attracted to you from the first day you pissed me off at the Gray Manor. Then at Solo’s and Willow’s wedding, I tried to get you to dance with me, remember?”
“Yeah, I remember, and when I wouldn’t, you danced with that mutant huntsman.”
“He’s not a mutant.”
“I know, I just call them that because they’re so fucking large.”
“While dancing with him, I kept looking over at you to see if you noticed.”
“Oh, I noticed all right.”
“Did you also notice that I never teased or provoked anyone as much as I did you?”
“No, but I’ll take your word for it.”
“Leo, if I’m completely honest, I’ve probably had a crush on you for over a year.”
He leaned in and kissed me. “I could have died today and if it taught me anything, it’s to not waste time. You need to know that I’m in over my head. I think about what’s ahead and I’ve never been so scared and excited at the same time. You’re going to drive me mad, Raven. I know you will, but I also know that I’ll love every day I get to spend with you.” Leo kissed my forehead.
I knew he was hinting at marriage, but with Magni fighting for his life and the guilt I felt over the crash, I couldn’t think about that right now. “Please don’t ask me to marry you. I need time, Leo.”
He was quiet but I sensed his disappointment.
“It doesn’t change that I love you and that I’m with you.”
“You promise?”
“Yes.” I kissed him again. “My turn to ask you something. Why did you take my torn shirt from the day we fought?”
He stiffened. “So you found it?”
“Yes, in your bedside table.”
“Then you know why I took it, don’t you?”
“To jerk off with?”
“Nooo!” Leo wrinkled his nose up. “Well, maybe once or twice, but mostly, I liked to smell the scent of your perfume before sleeping. It helped me visualize that one day I would have a woman in my bed.”
“Any woman?”
“No, a specific delicious caramel-colored, badass woman.”
We were quiet for a moment, listening to the voices coming from outside the hospital room and looking out the window as drones came and left in the distance.
“Raven, can I ask you something?”
“Uh-huh.”
“If nothing physical had happened between us yet, would you have let me compete for Mila or would you have told me about your attraction?”
“Who knows? It might have come out the closer we got to Mila’s tournament. It was pretty evident that I had a strong reaction every time your name was mentioned.”
Leo placed his forehead against mine. “I wish you hadn’t hidden your crush so well. There were times when I thought you despised me.”
A knock on the door was followed by Mila, who came in and stopped abruptly when she saw me and Leo cuddled up together. “Mother Nature, Leo. You’re lucky that you’re in a hospital bed already. When Boulder hears about this, he’ll be furious.”
I sat up in the bed. “I’ll tell him when I want him to know, so you’ll keep it a secret. You know I would do it for you.”
“I don’t want to be your secret.” Leo reached for me as I got out of the bed. “Even Magni admitted that I’m a good man, so why can’t you just tell your family?”
“Because right now they have other things to worry about than you and me.”
Leo’s eyebrows drew close. “Of course. I wasn’t thinking. Mila, is there any news about your father?”
Mila nodded. “That’s why I came to fetch Raven. They said the doctor is coming out to talk to us any minute now.”
I promised Leo that I’d be right back to update him and hurried after Mila. When we got to the waiting room that the hospital had provided for Magni’s friends and family, everyone had their full attention on a middle-aged doctor who was talking.
“So, basically, we’ll need another hour or so to finish the operation. My part was successful and right now, Doctor Neiman, our plastic surgeon is working on the large tear on the Commander’s face, neck, and shoulder.”
“And after the surgery?” Khan asked. “How long before he wakes up?”
The doctor looked down and rocked back on his heels. “Days, possibly weeks. I really can’t say. It’s a good thing that the Commander was physically strong before the accident and that he has a warrior’s mindset because this will no doubt be the greatest battle he’s ever had to fight.”
Mila stood next to me and was holding on to my arm. “But can you say for certain that he’ll make it?”
“No. We can’t give you any guarantees. And you should be prepared that even if he does, he won’t be the same. There’s the physical damage that’s obvious, but it’s too soon to say if his brain has been damaged as well. We need to wait for the swelling to go down before we’ll attempt to wake him up and only then can we run tests.”
“Mom, what does that mean?” Aubrey, Magni’s young daughter, asked while pressing herself against Laura.
The doctor answered. “It means that there’s a significant risk that your father has suffered permanent damage to his vision, hearing, or his cognitive functions.”
Pearl translated to the younger children. “It means we don’t know if your dad will be able to see, hear, or talk as he used to. We don’t know how much he’ll remember either.”
“He’ll remember me, won’t he?” Aubrey’s eyes were full of tears.
The doctor gave her a look of pity. He looked tired as he nodded to all of us before turning to Finn, who had arrived with his wife, Athena. “Walk with me, will you?”
Finn had worked in this hospital before he moved to the Motherlands; he followed his former colleague down the hallway.
Laura held little Aubrey in her arms, as she wouldn’t stop crying. The rest of us were as miserable as her and sat with long faces and teary eyes.
“But if Dad is alive, isn’t that good news?” Magni’s son, Mason, asked. The twin brother of Aubrey was ten and already the size of a grown man, but at that moment, he looked like a confused young boy.
Solo pulled the large boy into a sideways hug. “Yeah, it’s good news, Mason. Magni is alive and right now that’s all that matters.”
I remembered what Leo had said about Magni preferring to die rather than waking up as a crippled man. If only Magni could see this room full of us, his family and closest friends praying to speak to him again, to share a smile, a hug, handshake, or a laugh. We didn’t care if he would never be able to walk or fight again, but something told me that Leo was right. Magni would care.
CHAPTER 22
Recovery
Leo
Despite my friends visiting me in the hospital, the days I spent there were long. Not being allowed to put pressure on my left leg made it difficult to move around and even though I insisted I would do just fine at home alone, the doctors kept saying that they preferred for me to stay another day.
On my sixth day stuck in a bed, I was losing my patience. Raven had visited every night and it was always the highlight of my day when she crawled into bed with me and talked about work at the station, life at the Manor, and everyday things outside of the hospital.
“You missed out on major drama today at the Manor.” Raven had brought a bag of candy and was eating some as she was talking. “When I got home, Mila was almost crying because Khan was shouting at her.”
“Why?”
Unwrapping a caramel, Raven chuckled. “Because Holger ha
d left a turd on the antique rug in the entryway.”
“Which one of Mila’s dogs is Holger?”
Raven’s chuckle grew to a full-on laugh. “The Great Dane. We’re talking this big a pile, and Khan wasn’t having it.” She illustrated with her hands. “But in Khan’s defense it was disgusting and it smelled like death. Not sure what the dog ate to get that kind of food poisoning, but Khan threatened to ban Mila’s dogs from the Manor and she responded that he would have to ban her as well before she gave up her dogs.”
“Yeah, that does sound dramatic. I feel bad for Mila, though. She has enough on her plate with her dad being here and all.”
Raven grew serious and nodded. “You’re right, and I think that’s why Khan took back his words later. Everyone at the Manor is thin-skinned and on edge these days. We all want Magni to wake up.
“Yeah, me too.”
Raven sighed and popped the caramel into her mouth. “Anyway, people are missing you at work.”
“Cameron came yesterday.”
“Oh yeah?”
“He told me he was sparring with you on Monday.”
Chewing, Raven nodded.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I did tell you. We talked about how I jammed my finger, remember?”
“Ah, was that with Cameron? I thought that was when you fought Monroe.”
Raven rolled her eyes in a playful manner. “Honestly, you’re too doped to remember anything. I wonder why I bother talking to you at all.”
Tickling her until she begged for mercy had me out of breath, but it was fun. Raven was so unbelievably gorgeous with her soft skin, large expressive eyes, and those full lips that I wanted to kiss all the time.
“Stop it, stop it.” She squealed and pushed at me, but I was so much stronger and longing to be physical with her.
“Leo, don’t tickle me.” In an attempt to roll into a protective ball, Raven raised her knees up, and one of them hit my bad thigh right where I’d been operated on.
The pain that shot through me had me want to scream out loud, but I swallowed my cry and closed my eyes and placed a hand on my thigh.
“Sorry, Leo. I’m so sorry. Are you okay?”
When I couldn’t respond, Raven scrambled out of my hospital bed and called for help. A doctor’s assistant came rushing in while Raven explained what had happened.
“I didn’t mean to. It just happened when Leo tickled me.”
The man was a no-nonsense type and pulled the cover off me with an abrupt movement. “Spread your legs so I can see.”
“I’m fine.” I was pushing his hands away and hating that Raven saw me like this.
“I don’t see any blood. Does this hurt?” He pushed at where I’d been operated.
“Yes, it fucking hurts,” I hissed and shot him a killer look.
“I’ll tell the doctor. If it swells it could be a sign that your blood vessels have burst again.”
“I’m so sorry, Leo.” Raven was standing to one side, her arms crossed with each hand on the opposite shoulder and her face dipped low in shame.
I pushed out a few words through my pain, “It was my fault.”
On his way out, the doctor’s assistant gave a firm instruction to me before he closed the door. “Stop tickling your wife. I’ll find a doctor.”
The fact that he assumed Raven and I were married lifted my spirit with pride. I hadn’t done anything to clear up the misunderstanding, and with her daily visits, it was a natural assumption for the staff to make.
“I’m okay. Won’t you come back here?” I patted the mattress.
“Maybe it’s better if I keep a distance.”
“My thigh is just sensitive from the operation. It’s nothing.”
Moving slowly, she stepped a little closer and sat down on the edge of the chair next to the bed. “I can’t stay long anyway.”
“Why not?”
Raven still looked shaken from what had happened and bit down on her lower lip without answering me.
“Are you still working on the case? Is that why you can’t stay?”
“No, of course not. After what happened to you and Magni, I’m done with Dina’s case. Erika warned me that nothing good comes out of disturbing the dead, and she was right. If Laura and I hadn’t gone, none of this would have happened.”
I narrowed my eyes in suspicion. “Just promise me that if you do work on it, you’ll include me.”
“I won’t work on it, Leo. I mean it.”
“Good.”
She got up and stood behind the chair when a doctor came in.
“I heard there was a small accident in here?”
I stared with my mouth open. “You’re a woman.”
The doctor was in her thirties. With a kind smile she walked over to me. “My name is Doctor Kim. Let’s take a look at it, shall we?” Like it was the most natural thing in the world, she lifted my covers.
I jerked back a little, still surprised to see a female doctor. “But you’re a…”
“A woman. Yes, I’m aware, but so are most of the world’s population. It’s really not that special.” The doctor looked over at Raven. “You won’t mind if I examine your husband, will you?”
“Ehh…” Raven looked at me as if she expected me to correct the doctor but I was too busy pushing back in my bed when the woman reached for my inner thigh.
“Don’t worry, I’ve practiced medicine for nine years and you’re not my first shocked patient. Some of us brides have professions that we enjoy.”
“Yes. I’m aware.”
Her touch was gentle. “Are you in pain?”
“Not as much as before.”
“What if I press here?” Her fingers touched different areas and when she got close to my crotch, my sudden gasp made her furrow her brow. “Did that hurt?”
“Nope. I’m good.”
“You sure?”
“Uh-huh!” I sat stiffly and didn’t breathe. Only one woman had ever been this close to me and she was watching us right now.
With a satisfied nod, Dr. Kim pulled the cover back over me. “Everything looks fine. How are you feeling?”
“Impatient to go home.”
“I understand, and I don’t see a problem with it.”
“Really?” I lit up. “I was told I had to stay here for at least two weeks.”
Doctor Kim frowned. “Yes, I saw that in the file, but that recommendation was based on your living alone. We’ve had too many cases of Nmen going back to work too soon – despite warnings from us. It prolongs the healing time and sometimes makes things worse. That’s why we like to keep our patients in here as long as possible.” The doctor tilted her head. “I’m not sure why it wasn’t noted down that you have a wife, but if she makes sure you don’t do anything foolish, I don’t see why you can’t leave today.” Dr. Kim gave me and Raven another quick glance. “As long as you make sure to follow instructions, keep the leg rested, and you come back for a check-up in a few days.”
“I’d love to go home today.” My eyes were begging Raven to play along.
“It’s fine. If you get dressed, I’ll go and update your file and have someone bring a hover chair in. Do you need transportation to get home?”
Knowing that Raven’s drone had been fixed, I shook my head. “No, we should be fine.”
When Dr. Kim left, Raven turned to me, speaking in a loud whisper, “What are you doing? They think we live together.”
“I know.”
“Why didn’t you correct them when they said we were married?”
“Because I’m going crazy here. I need to get out of this hospital. Can’t you at least give me a ride home?”
“Of course, but then what? I can’t just leave you without any help, and I’m going to my parents’ house for dinner tonight.”
I pointed behind her. “Zasquash brought me some clean clothes. They’re in that drawer. Can you give them to me?”
She found the clothes and handed me the pile. “Do you need h
elp?”
“No, I’m good.” I pulled off the hospital clothing and already felt better as I put on some of my own clothing. “When you go to your parents’ house tonight, will you tell them about us?”
Raven pulled at her earlobe but didn’t answer me.
“What about last week when we said that we loved each other? I thought we agreed to be a couple, Raven.”
“I know that, but I want for us to figure out how we want to handle our relationship before we share it with others.”
I tensed my jaw because I was bloody clear on what I wanted with Raven, and it included getting married and moving in together. With her it was like two steps forward and one step back. “Look, I get that everything is a bit chaotic now and that you need time. But I love waking up with you in the morning and I want you around as much as possible.”
My words carried an invitation for her to move in with me, but Raven chose her usual strategy of making light of the situation. “You just want me as your alibi so you can go home, but if you’re counting on me to stay and cook for you, don’t. I’m not good at it.”
Now wasn’t the time to push my luck. “All I’m asking is for you to get me out of here. Once I’m at my house, I’ll jump around on one foot. And don’t worry about cooking. My house-bot does that.” I gave her my most charming grin and twenty minutes later, I was dressed and in a hover chair on my way out. The machine was easy to maneuver and when a long and completely empty hallway presented itself, I had to test the machine to its limit.
Raven’s laughter as she ran to catch up with me made me grin out loud. “They should have given me one of these racers days ago. Maybe then I wouldn’t have been so bored.”
Down in the large foyer of the hospital, there were more people and I had to slow down, but the closer we got to the exit, the lighter I felt inside. “I can’t wait to sleep in my own bed.” I had only just said it when Mila came running in to the hospital and toward us.
“Mila, what’s wrong?” Raven called out to her.
Mila came to a halt and spoke with a sense of urgency. “It’s my dad. They’re going to try and wake him up. My mom called for me to come as fast as I could. She and Erika are already here and Khan is on his way.” Her eyes were full of tears and she grabbed for Raven’s hands. “I’m so scared. What if he can’t remember us or if he doesn’t wake up at all?”