by Joey W. Hill
"Sorry, I'm still hard," the vampire said, without sounding particularly apologetic. "It's a vampire thing. Ignore it. I don't want that from you right now."
Or translation: He wasn't so much of a bastard that he would try to take it in this moment.
Rand closed his eyes. He could feel the vampire's cock against his lower back, and it reminded him of how this had all started, the vampire's hand on him, his mouth. He hadn't been ready for that, too much else pushing down on him, but now it had all drained away, the plug pulled. Why not focus on the temptation, take another type of drug, before the sadness filled him up again?
Rand hated himself for thinking it. Why couldn't his pain make him immune to that type of need? It should.
But what did it matter? There was no right way to deal with loss. If turning into a wolf or lying with a vampire gave him a moment's distraction, who was he to be high and mighty and pretend he wasn't truly an animal at heart, resorting to physical gestures to minimize mental pain? Maybe sex could push things away. Even if it made him simultaneously feel horrible.
"Something you want, wolf?" Cai said. His tone was quiet, neutral. Not taunting or even seductive. "You quivered against me just then. If you want something, ask for it."
Rand shook his head. If you want sex, do it. I need it, want it, but I'm never going to beg for it.
"That's why the promise of tomorrow is so sweet, wolf,' Cai muttered. "All the nevers that can be toppled."
Cai didn't fuck him, though. He pressed his cock against Rand's ass, and Rand moved back against him. Cai's hips moved just enough, Rand's counter push rocking them in a sweet, delicious roll of feeling. The vampire was being slow, gentle, easy. His hand slid around Rand's hip, and he cupped Rand's balls and cock, covering as much of them as he could, and pressing tight, using that intimate but stationary hold to keep Rand where he was, just as close.
It was arousing but also enough on its own. The contact, a possession of sorts, brought a sense of relief Rand didn't want to examine too closely. He let out a breath, and the vampire shifted his grip up to his chest, their fingers interlacing like a net, drawing them closer together.
Rand pressed his face into the ground, making a despairing noise as Cai's mouth found his throat. He gripped Rand's jaw and tried to turn his face back toward him for a kiss. Rand shook his head and kept his face pressed down. No kissing, nothing that intimate. Just simple fucking, nothing complicated.
The vampire paused. Cai could push it, Rand knew, force the issue. But in the end he didn't, holding them in that spooned, finger-interlaced embrace, rocking them. Rand got lost in the movement, which kept him a hand span above the memories of blood and death. It was a tenuous thread that could be snapped, but for this, he would stay human a little longer.
Just a little longer. But he was still leaving.
Chapter Five
Cai beat him to it. In a manner of speaking.
Daylight found the vampire gone. Last night, he'd reminded Rand he went to ground during sunlight, since over the past few days Rand had been mostly unconscious during the daylight hours.
Right. Vampires and sun didn't mix.
"Go wherever you want to go, wolf," Cai had added. "If I have the desire to track you, I'll catch up. With the first and second mark, it's a waste of energy to hide or run from me. But I'd suggest you find a place nearby to take it easy. Another full day of rest, and you should be good to go. So to speak."
Rand had made it clear, rather nastily, that if he chose to leave the vampire's company, that was not to be interpreted as running or hiding from him. It merely showed Cai was too thickheaded to get the hint. Cai had flashed his annoyingly devastating grin and said nothing more. His hand had whispered down Rand's flank, clamped on it hard and given his ass a bruising pinch. The fingerprints were still visible on Rand's human flesh in the morning light, so he shifted pretty fast back to wolf.
Rand wondered if the vampire had found a cave, but his scent ended right at the camp boundary. Must be another vampire skill, and a damn annoying one. Rand didn't like not knowing where Cai was. Not because he gave a damn, but to respect the wisdom of "keep your friends close, but your enemies closer."
He wasn't sure Cai was an enemy, but he couldn't think of him as a friend, no matter the confusing signals the male sent. When he'd found Rand in the woods last night, he could have pushed the sex, and Rand would have gone along with it. But he hadn't. It made it harder to categorize his interest in Rand as merely a new diversion.
That would be easier, though. Rand wasn't opposed to fucking as human. Humans savored and explored the act at levels far different from the rest of the animal world. Cai had reminded him of that, vividly. Everyone knew vampires were seductive and gorgeous, and so sexually driven that even a fledgling became an experienced lover in no time. So why shouldn't Rand enjoy the vampire's skill?
It wasn't like empty sex with a promise of nothing else could suck any more life out of his soul. Couldn't get any marrow from a dry bone.
That's what he told himself, but when Rand had the thought, it came with the hope the vampire woke up with no desire to track him and moved on. Then Rand wouldn't have to deal with a decision or choice. Truth, if Rand had less pride, he would have spent the entire day running to put as much distance between them as possible, in the hopes of being too inconvenient to bother with.
But Cai had said it would take a few thousand miles to be out of mind-touch range. If Rand couldn't shut the vampire out of his head, he would find a more effective way to kill himself. Or the vampire.
Rand paused in a patch of sunlight, sure he felt a frisson of humor run through his mind in a way he hadn't initiated. As if the vampire was listening to him and was...amused. Bastard.
I need something to take into my dreams with me, wolf. I showed admirable restraint last night. Put your hand on your cock and stroke yourself to release.
What? No. Good grief, was the vampire never sated? Though with that damn second mark, his body responded to the suggestion with an annoying twitch of interest in his lower parts.
I can see it in my mind. Cai was continuing his annoying fantasizing. You, stretched out on the grass, your fingers wrapped over yourself, ass pressing into the earth as you thrust and retreat, thrust and retreat. And then you roll onto your knees as you get close, and spill your seed, holding yourself up on one arm, hard muscles rippling like water over your back and shoulders, your hair falling forward. If you get your come in it, you could bathe in a creek, and I could feel you doing that, the cool water on your heated flesh, you sliding your fingers through your hair to comb it back from your face...
No. He was in wolf form. He didn't want to become human. But the vampire was too good at this.
Maybe if you have time between self-destructive urges today, you'll think about what we could do tonight when I rise. How I'll want you with such fierce hunger, I won't leave you any choices, no room for guilt or sorrow in your mind. I'll call your hunger to mine.
Rand dropped into a seated position and irritably scratched his ear with one back foot. Boy toys in city, he thought in abbreviated wolf speak. Go. Too needy for me.
I like it out here in the wild, where I have you all to myself. Do it, Rand. Or I'll bug the shit out of you for the next three hours. I can hold out that long before I have to sleep. Though it takes a lot out of me, which means I'm likely to wake cranky and rape your fine ass rather than finesse it.
Rip your dick off with teeth first.
He'd rather have the vampire's savagery than the finesse that messed with his head, so Cai being cranky wasn't a great threat. But three hours of incessant talking? Christ.
The male was proving it, rattling on about something...McDonald's hamburgers? How he preferred them without the onions, and then there were the new drink machines, the ones that mixed flavors with one button, and totally sucked because they didn't taste right or as sharp as the other way of preparing the sodas...
Shut up if...I do? Rand once again ig
nored the eager leap of his loins which suggested it had different reasons for wanting to comply, other than his grudging agreement under the threat of chatty blackmail.
I know every Sesame Street song by heart.
With a sigh that nearly heaved him back onto his feet, Rand shifted into his human form, ending up on his hands and knees. "Not if you want my cock hard," he said with a scowl.
Then get to it.
Rand didn't like the hard lust that shot through his balls at the clear command. He thought longingly of how he would shift back to wolf, soon as he did this for the vampire.
He settled at the base of a tree, a convenient arrangement of roots forming a vee-shaped notch for his ass and a prop for his calf as he stretched one leg out and left the other bent, knee hooked over the exposed root. His legs were spread, yet he was in a comfortable sprawl.
Nice. He could almost hear the husky heat in Cai's mind voice.
Putting his head back against the tree's broad trunk, Rand slid his hand down his abdomen and curled his fingers around his dick.
Cup your balls first. Squeeze and stroke them. Let your thumb tease the base of your cock as you do it. The way I'd do it. Only I'd tighten my hand on you when you least expect it, holding you fast, pulling so you arched up to follow my hold...
The vampire could paint pictures in his head. Telling himself he was doing it to get it over with, Rand followed his direction, his lower belly coiling up tight as he squeezed and caressed himself. It sort of felt like the vampire was doing it, having him in his mind like this. The wind moved through the branches, touching his face.
Rand closed his eyes, losing himself to sensation, with the result being the bad tightness in his lower gut gave way to a different tightness.
Don't push into your hand. Not until I say. Let's draw this out, make you hotter.
Rand moistened his lips, and thought he felt a ripple of reaction to the gesture. "Can you...see me?"
Yes and no. I'm in your mind, so I see through your eyes somewhat, but mostly I feel your reactions and thoughts, which are even more of a turn on. I want to suck on your mouth, Rand. You have a beautiful mouth. I want it serving my cock.
Rand growled and received a dark chuckle in answer. But he remembered the shape of Cai's cock, the thickness of it. He wet his lips again, as if he could feel it there, the vampire's hand on his nape, holding him fast, shoving his cock between his lips, even if Rand fought him. He remembered what Cai had said. A fighter likes to fight, on either side of the equation.
His fingers worked up and down his length, a slow pump that quickly became hard to resist, meeting the movement of his hips.
Hold off. Let it build. Grow stronger.
Piss off.
Don't screw with me, wolf. I'll make you suffer for it if you do.
"Like you aren't already doing that." Rand squeezed his eyes tighter. "I don't want to feel this. Don't want to do this."
No one's forcing you, wolf. Are they? You're such a gorgeous big bastard. The vampire's mind voice had a sensual purr to it that Rand liked hearing, he couldn't deny it. "You need a man's desire, his hold upon you, to help you power through the pain. That's what you're reaching for, even if you won't admit it.
Shut up. Say the other stuff.
That infuriatingly sexy chuckle came in his mind again, laced with a darkness that told him Cai was right, that he was offering something twisted that Rand craved.
Work yourself, wolf. Fuck, you're beautiful. Tell me when you think you're going to come.
He could be contrary and not do it. But he got harder at the sound the vampire made in his head when Rand looked down at his hand holding his cock, the flex of his thigh muscles as he pushed his organ into the loose, slick circle his fist made, since he'd used his thumb in the slit to spread that moisture.
Fuck...yeah. Wish I was fucking you right now. Not going to be slow or gentle about it at twilight. Will do it again later, two or three times, be slower and more thorough, then. But those first few minutes, wolf, your ass will be all mine. It will be all about you getting me off, serving me entirely.
"In your dreams," Rand muttered.
Oh, you'll be front and center in those today, I promise you that. I keep thinking about how still you got when I was putting the collar on you. Hold yourself tighter. Thrust now. Show me how strong you are, even when you're healing.
He did it, because he could feel the vampire's desire surging through him, mixing with his own, one hot, wet tide carrying them both toward the inevitable conclusion.
He'd fleetingly thought he might have to summon an image of Dylef to make this work, but from the first moment the vampire had invaded his mind, Cai had driven this journey.
Yeah, I don't share. You try to get your rocks off visualizing some other male, that's not going to turn out well for you.
Defiantly Rand imagined Dylef, but he couldn't see him. He was just a shadow with a faint smile, a tall man standing in a field, taking off his bill cap to wipe the sweat off his brow with his forearm. Ah, God...
Stay with me, wolf. It's okay. The vampire's voice was easier, friendly. Come back this way. Lust is easy. Right?
Nothing is easy anymore.
I know. Which is why, if I was there, I'd put you on your stomach. I'd tie your arms and legs to the trees. You could tear loose if you wanted, but maybe for just a while you'd lie still, see how it felt to let someone have all the control. I'd put my mouth all over your shoulders and back, your ass. I'd grip both those muscular cheeks, part them, and tongue fuck you until you plowed the earth with your cock, and begged for release, for oblivion.
"God," Rand breathed. Arousal building, he was pistoning into his grip, strong and sure.
I could give you that kind of oblivion; same kind I'm going to give you in a different measure now. Look at you, fisting yourself, getting hotter from the thoughts I'm feeding you. I'd keep you tied until I touched every inch of you with mouth and hands. I'd jack myself off over your back, mark you good. I'd work myself back up again with nothing more than the sound of your groans, your need to release denied you until I allowed it, all your muscles tight and flexing. I'd drive back into you, plunge deep, and we'd both spill... Fuck, look at you. Move your hips. Thrust hard and deep. Keep doing it.
Rand was doing it. He wanted to howl, to run, to let go of all of it. To just let go.
Come for me, Rand.
His cock convulsed and spurted thick, white fluid over his knuckles, his body spasming with the reaction, his head tilting back. The bark of the tree bit into his back, and he embraced the discomfort, using it to goad the climax, drive it farther, deeper.
A long pause later, all was quiet. Well, inside. The birds were singing, the wind was moving through the trees, and life was as noisy, chaotic and unstoppable as it always was in the woods during daylight hours. Rand would have thought the vampire had succumbed to sleep, but there was an odd current of feeling running through Rand, like a stroke to his heart and mind, a humming calm, helping his breath to even out.
"Did I save myself from Sesame Street?"
You did. I'm a little disappointed. There were some Bert and Ernie duets I thought the two of us could do together.
Rand coughed over an unexpected chuckle, his lips curving in a gesture that felt strange and unfamiliar. "You really are kind of a jerk."
Only kind of? You're more tolerant after getting off. Hold onto the feeling, wolf. Don't overdo today, but enjoy the sun and wind for us both. Good morning. And in case you're as confused as most are, that's Good night in vampire. I leave you to your thoughts, but I'm not leaving you alone. Keep that in mind.
When Rand felt a slow withdrawal, a drifting away of that sense of other pervading his senses, he knew the vampire had given himself to sleep.
If the vampire offered any recognizable clue that he gave a damn about anyone other than himself, Rand might have concluded the whole scenario was designed to keep him from steeping himself in too much melancholy. Or keep him connecte
d to his human form so he didn't completely lose that link.
Sheba and Dylef had both warned him about that, coaxed him to stay human more often than he would have done if he was alone. Sheba said he didn't like being human, and he ran alone more often than most wolves, maybe because he'd lost his parents young. But even before then, he'd been a more solitary wolf than most. For a pack animal.
When he was with Sheba and Dylef, staying connected between the two worlds had been important. It wasn't so important now. And if it wasn't that important to him, it made no sense why it would matter to the vampire. Yeah, Rand was imagining things. The guy just liked fucking him, which was fine. He was good at it.
So one less puzzle he didn't have to solve. He felt better, which would have discomfited him if he didn't attribute it to endorphin release from the sex. Time to go catch himself some breakfast. He didn't want the vampire having to feed him, claiming Rand was dependent on his presence.
Yeah, that was never going to happen. Yet even as he had the thought, Cai's mocking retort from last night came back to him.
That's why the promise of tomorrow is so sweet, wolf. All the nevers that can be toppled.
Rand caught and devoured several rabbits, getting more confident with his speed and strength with each kill. He was supposed to eat about ten pounds of meat per day to stay at full strength. He'd been getting by on about five to seven, the amount a non-shifter wolf might eat, but he knew it had put him on the lean side. That didn't matter to him, so he wasn't sure why it mattered now, except he was hungry. Something new for him.
After consuming all that meat, he wasn't in the mood to travel far. When he woke at twilight and stretched, he was surprised not to sense the vampire close by, but maybe Cai had slept in.
He wasn't going to make it easy for him. Rand told himself that, but remembering the vampire's provocative words, the fantasy he'd painted, Rand found his feet headed toward their last campsite. Though Cai's belongings had been gone, Rand assumed it was the most logical rendezvous point for them, and it had the creek. Vampire or no vampire, he liked the idea of a bath and accessible fresh, running water.