by Kaero Davis
Silence your violence
Silence your violence,
Shove it…
Exit Scenario
“I’m not going to give more than what you think you should be asking of me – fuck, maybe, just maybe I might cooperate if I see you’re pulling an equal share of the weight, no more, no less. I know you don’t like my attitude but it varies depending on how yours is towards me, and the more you treat me and others like shit – the more you’ll feel receiving it in return. Smile, I thought you liked it this way, after all – you enjoy it, we all saw it.
But I’m not going to remain quiet – not when people are doing more damage than good, unleashing unthinkable consequences in the wake of their paths. I’m not putting up with the shit any longer – shouldn’t have to, no one should. I’ll fight it, and I’ll feed it back.” – Lerkett.
Enter Scenario
“My worst fears have come for me at last. I, am now truly alone. All of my family are gone – my loved ones. What am I to do? The only people who knew me but loved me regardless – deceased, and now I am the only one left – and I can’t start afresh, not at my age – It’s preposterous. To speak of it is madness. Do I head a-roam on a two-wheeled thunder-horse as I’d always mentally prepared for? What any good is left for me here? I best just become a ghost here. That is all my memories are to me now, and before long – I could wind up with dementia and have memories no more. I want to be long dead before I become too senile to know if I’ve shit the bed or not. Why not now? Why not end it now while I still have my dignity and integrity intact? Save myself the embarrassment and humiliation altogether. I have a six-gun in the bedroom cupboard and am determined to go get it right this second, fuck it yes, I will. While I’m at it I’ll write my last word with a straight glass of scotch. And one of those cigars too, while I’m at it! My last little pleasure before it’s ‘sayonara’.” – Schuukazei.
Fear’s Fare
Fear has a voracious appetite,
Its’ chokehold grip is mighty tight,
Piston punching paranoia throws a nasty right,
And out go the lights, goodnight,
Cause we’re plunged into the murky darkness,
When our dearly beloved depart us,
Turning inward on ourselves with a difficult question to ask,
Could the inevitable finally have come for me at last?
Fears’ voracious appetite reigns,
And we’re syphoned under the strain of its’ psychic drain,
Never to stray but forever remain,
Sending insane ’til it’s more humane,
To send a bullet sailing through the brain,
I can never shake the fear away,
That I’d be betrayed once forfeiting trust and faith,
A fear of walking alone one day, never again the same,
The ache of heartbreak eviscerates,
But still must be faced,
And I am plunged into the murky dark,
My dearly beloved has surpassed,
I turn inward on myself and viciously ask;
Has the inevitable finally happened at last?
And Fears’ voracious appetite,
Has finally taken me tonight,
Piston punching paranoia really blackened out the lights,
And so for the final time I say, goodnight.
Exit Scenario
“Could’ve been worse, could’ve had the regrets some have of never speaking your mind or telling them how you truly feel about them in time. All of the things you could’ve said or did to ease everybody’s mind and relieve old tensions, put them behind us – some never got the chance to have said that for themselves. It could’ve been that bad, but somehow, I’d gotten more of a raw deal than I’d bargained for – I’d gotten loneliness. And what real company is a hookers’ or an escorts’ – apart from the perks? Ugh, I shudder at the thought – what would my loved ones think of me? the trend for people my age is a younger foreign bride, fuck – there’s plenty of them – Asian, Russian and more, but no – bugger that, that’s not for me. I can’t have what I had over again – I’ll never meet another like me or of the same mind to love again. And I’d be a fool to think I could do that again. Nope, seen those movies, where the old guys get with other women of similar age or 20-30-40 years younger – and I just thought it was gross when I saw it. Ew, no, God no. Another shiver runs down my spine. I downed the glass of scotch after writing my last lament – of which what I no longer want any part of – loneliness. And I thought it was either now or never. I put the gun to my head, cocked the hammer, then squeezed…” – Schuukazei.
Enter Scenario
“It’s hard to empathize or sympathize with someone who seems out to criticize everything you do. I don’t normally despise criticism, on the contrary I think it can be healthy, but when it’s too much and too often – and ridiculous, you’ve gotta wonder if it’s worth being around the arseholes. What’s the point knowing them if they’ve never got anything nice to say? And how is it so hard to for those criticizing you to understand how much of it is actually eating at you? Sometimes it does more harm than good. Ripping strips off you, nagging, nit-picking. Why aren’t they just as focussed on themselves? Why do they feel they have the right to announce every little thing you do wrong? And why do they get so cut up when you give it back to them? It seems very one way and it doesn’t sound fuckin’ fair at all. Fuck’s me, that’s a riddle I may never know the answer to, but it’s one of the worst things I’ve ever hated. Always will, I mean – I don’t ever go out of my way to fuck up somebody else’s self-esteem, who’s really got the right to do it to me? NO ONE. And I’ve always hated being a ward to a family that just couldn’t get over themselves to not leave me the fuck alone. They said they feared me at some point – but had they never considered my arched back was a defensive consequence? You’d have to be fucking stupid if you think you can just pick at someone and not have them bite back. Only someone who isn’t well wouldn’t fight back, someone sick would accept, someone depressed would just agree and want no more said on it. And I would feel extreme sorrow and then anger. Because I could never work out how they’d arrived at the idea that it was fair to treat me less than a human being. They hated me worse for giving it back. I mirrored them and they couldn’t handle it. Nothing but hypocrites to me – lowest of the low, and I would know low – as they had constantly treated me. Labelling me ‘scum’ and ‘filth’ – well, I guess they could only call my bluff because they were too. It takes one to know one – and unless you are – you won’t recognise it in anybody else.” – Mortezzo.
From Sorrow To Sulphur
I need a moment to gather my thought,
Ruffled by rampage at the same battles fought,
If you criticize enough, you eventually get your enemies,
But narrow-minded people never think before they speak,
Congrats! I’m now at a loss for words to say,
The anger within still rips at me – tears me away,
Brainless, deadbeat, dumbshits like you just waste the air I breathe,
A violent death’s to humane for you, - a hunger I cannot feed,
It’s when I get sad that I get mean,
And then all I want is to hear you scream,
From one extreme to another,
Exhale sorrow – Inhale Sulphur
Right! Fuck! Now let’s go round two,
Did you really think I’d had enough of you?
Say something quick – go on, give me lip,
I may just – awww – fuck – I may just slip,
You should have been tied in a condom and long thrown away,
Take the time to thank your mother she didn’t swallow you that day,
I really think your dad came on the sheets, the ones your mum rolled onto,
You don’t even
know nor are smart enough to think that this was written about you,
Fuck you really shit me off some days,
Wish I could force up you all my pain,
From one extreme to another,
Exhaling sorrow – Inhaling Sulphur..
Exit Scenario
“I swear people just fire me up to fight me. Make me give them a reason to fucking smack me out. I know it’s there – they can deny it all they want, but I know some people must get some sick sort of curiosity to know what it’s like to have it over me – or to put me in my place. I swear I can see it in some of those people’s eyes. I swear I can see some clockwork going on in their heads that they get some kick out of revving me up. Irritate me beyond the point of doing something about it. And then I do something about it. And then there’s a screaming match or there’s fists flying around. I get sad – and then I get mean, I arc up and then we have a problem. I don’t know why they start it when they know it’s well and truly in my power to say the things they’re just not going to want to hear. I am not here to have someone’s anger taken out on me. And they’re stupid if they think they can without some sort of reaction or back-fire. Stupid.” – Mortezzo.
Enter Scenario
“Envy don’t do us both any good bud, you’re only jealous of what you see but you don’t see everything…”
“Like I’m missing out on much cunt, you don’t work, you never see your daughter – you don’t have a car, your taste in music is shit, you can’t keep a missus – you never live up to what you say, you’re a disappointment mate so why the fuck would I be jealous?
“Because as good as I’ve got it, on top of that too – I was born with a gift of the talent for the arts,”
“So fucking what?”
“So, unlike you having to bust your arse out there in the heat for the measly dollar you earn, my ‘disadvantage’ enables tax-free dollars to yours truly – but I could earn three times your pay-check and only break a mental sweat. And THAT’S something you’d call fuck all.”
“You’re an idiot, a fucking retard!”
“I’ve got it worked out, I don’t figure how you can call me the idiot?”
“If you were as good as you’d said you were, you wouldn’t be in the shambles you’re in here and now. Jesus I don’t have time for this – just fuck off.”
{The hide of the cunt}
“Not now!”
(I walk off and pull up a stump a distance off downwind, I play some tunes from my phone and make to turn inward on myself and have a me moment… downwind I hear the fuckers laughing and carrying on. They’re loud and obnoxious and I can hear them jeering over that ordeal of just a moment ago.) I whip out a notepad and pen and I write;
Green-Eyed-Monsters
I hear ’em all talkin’
I hear ’em all sookin’
Yeah, they’re all gawkin’
Soon be walkin’
I can hear the shit they all say,
But they all make the same mistake,
Thinking I give fuck – thinkin’ I break,
And they underestimate the safety of their sake.
Sometimes I want to take the bait…
They call me a fuckhead, think I’m fucked in the head,
Their opinion quite frankly, just doesn’t mean shit,
Not anywhere near superior – they’ve got miles yet
I time a tactful response, flaunt how far I am ahead,
I leave fuckers like these behind,
They waste and burn up my precious time,
My mind is advanced comparable by design,
I hear them whinge and bitch and whine,
Fucking swine’s,
I hear ’em all talkin’
I can hear ’em all sookin’
Yeah I got ’em all gawkin’
They’ll soon be walkin’
Don’t bust a vessel you little penis,
People like you never recognise genius,
And if you do you’ll only ever be jealous,
Bitter, cold, coarse and callous
Just walk away..
Exit Scenario
I’ve got my reasons for what I do – so fuck you, I’m never laughing and taking the piss outta anyone else, grow a fucking conscious and mature you dickhead. I’m a conservative – I am saving my T.N.T for the big show and I’ve got news fucker – it isn’t you so jog on. I loathe fuckers jealous of me for getting shit they think I didn’t earn. Fuckers. Damn it. I haven’t yet sold my artwork because I fall to love it as much as others do to just up and sell it. People want originals and I just won’t part. And a good portion won’t pay what is felt is fair. Tax-free dollars from a pension supporting me (barely) for a severe and persistent mental illness. The money I make from my writing – well, unpredictable and still very much in the works. Fucks me how people could be jealous of some poor fucker with a mental illness – it’s hell. People are all inconsiderate mongrels at times. Arseholes, and to put up with it aside from the calamity they cause, having to contain emotion, feelings – and deal with it all without ever knowing safe and secure tactics to overcome the irrational. It’s a battle forever contending, dealing with your shit and then the shit of some other fucker. Who the hell could be jealous? Who would?
It does my head in, and I feel at time some people just aren’t worth proving against it to. Their own personal best may not measure as well as they claim it might..
Enter Scenario
One man’s entertainment might be another man’s worst fear – or one man’s dream is another’s nightmare. – you can use whatever analogy tickles your fanny – sorry fancy, but it means the same thing and no matter what preference one man’s opinion might be towards something you can bet it won’t be the same for someone else. What you believe might benefit you won’t affect another the same way, from time to time you’re going to cross someone who’s tolerance to shit isn’t quite as lenient as yours – if they are even lenient at all. Where one might let you get away with shit – another would surely send up red flags and call in a complaint against you to authorities. And what a pain in the arse that is. Incidentally many use pain to their advantage and make it work for them, while others, don’t have much of a tolerance to it very much at all. It can be very useful and at times it can be inconvenient. And there are many kinds of pain – you’re all aware I’m sure; and where some folk will utilize it for gain (and I’m about to make a hell of a point here) – In a sense might be initiated for the spontaneous irritation (as means of a diversion for a deeper more heinous ulterior motive) of the authorities – for, say, bank robbery and or theft of something else – and for another more complicated) purpose altogether – it’s absolute chaos. Can you imagine that? Can you imagine the authorities being distracted all over the place with sporadic decoys for the purpose of pleasure in another whole entire plethora of reasons? A true chaos, a true nightmare for hundreds – thousands but again – depending on who you are and your preferences, might be the best night of your life, having a blast all throughout the mass maniacal mayhem. Mass confusion and fear and excitement all clashing against every-thing else and no matter that everyone is different, have different views and perspectives and preferences – everyone is involved. And where there are those fighting to contain the chaos – there are others praising it and having the time of their life.
Hellfire night is a night where all havoc and mayhem is finally released after the pressure of a patrolling controlling mass has lost its’ power. Like all hallows eve in a manner of speaking where spirits and spectres are most active, well, Hellfire Night is a night where anybody who’s previously been suppressed can run amok and have the release of tension they need after having been contained so long that everyone’s feeling the itch to go wild. And this, this is a fantasy of mine, compliance is okay and I’ve got nothing against the rules or law OR order bu
t sometimes you’ve just got to have a release, a way to just let your hair down and not feel like you need to worry about what other’s feel, or even think about what you’re doing for your leisure. The one day of the year where you don’t have to feel guilty about anything and not give a flying fuck about what others say to criticize you or what you choose to do. *Please note* this is only just a fantasy of mine and don’t necessarily condone anything in the least bit atrocious or malicious to or for anyone or anything. And I will take no part in the administration, performance, association or affiliation with anything of the like or of any implication.
This is Hellfire Night;
Hellfire Night
Chaos builds,
Night air stills,
Darkness yields,
Raising chills,
Frightening fights,
Plundering plights,
Menacing might’s,
This, is hellfire night,
A smoking gun,
Nowhere to run,
Paralyzed, stunned,
Stone dead numb,
A sickening sight,
A bittering bite,
The silencing smite,
This, is hellfire night,
Terrified to a trance,
Gutted by a glance,
The Devil does his dance,
Crippling all chance,
Freedom takes flight,