Desensitizer

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Desensitizer Page 20

by Kaero Davis


  And it’s a race against the other ones like me,

  But when it goes down, it’ll be lightening,

  Obliteration upon the smitening,

  Going toe to toe,

  With my frienemy foes,

  Done with time of being close,

  For the time has arose,

  Bludgeoning battles will for survival,

  The hardest of Jones’s defending their title,

  Drastic measures taken in desperate hours, vital,

  Barbaric violence and chaos reverts us primal,

  People acting on instinct,

  Dog eat dog at instant,

  Authority sends conformity insistent,

  But I defy and remain resistant,

  I won’t play by the rules nor remain the fool,

  And I won’t be the mule falling to the cruel,

  Rising from the hunt into a fierce duel,

  Fear keep me alert but hatred be my fuel,

  I will not succumb and be zombied out numb,

  I can’t just sit and watch as wrong doing is being done,

  I’ll go out in a blaze and have myself as much fun,

  With mass maniacal mayhem and malevolent harm..

  Exit Scenario

  “Fuck mate (cough) you were right about the wildfire…” Ruek called out walking from out of the shadows of Zicque’s joint.

  “Holy fuck, how long were you standing there man?” Zicque asked Ruek surprised.

  “Oh not long man (cough) I just got in eh,” Ruek replied walking further into the light. He coughed again and spat blood up this time into the kitchen sink.

  “So, how’d it go?” Zicque asked.

  “Well, it wasn’t easy – laid quite a few out, took some of the forces by surprise but it’s fucking chaos out there mate,” Ruek replied clutching his aching ribs, and spitting another mouthful of blood into the kitchen sink.

  “You all right man? Do you need some help?” Zicque asked again rushing to Ruek’s aid.

  “Well I’d be mighty grateful if you had a first-aid kit and some hard liquor…” Ruek replied and made to set himself down at his kitchen table, pulling a chair out and slumping himself down into it.

  “Done, and done, give us a sec and I’ll be back with the booze and something to patch you up with, oh my god you look fucked,” Zicque answered and ducked out of the room.

  “Yeah, but you should of seen the assailant’s wounds – he got off worse than I did..” Ruek called out down the hall to him. Zicque returned a short while later with a first-aid kit and a bottle of scotch-whisky.

  “Cheers mate,” Ruek said as Zicque handed the kit to him and walked over to the glass cabinet and drew out a couple of glass tumblers. Zicque half-filled them both and slid one Ruek’s way. They tapped their glasses together as done in celebration, and Zicque asked;

  “So what’s the story dude?”

  Ruek sipped from his glass and sat it back down then pulled out a needle and wire and began threading one of his cuts back together and said;

  “Well, like I said, it’s fuckin’ chaos out there mate, helicopters on search through the night, shots fired at all angles – I might’ve been hit but I’m not certain – people being ran down, men, women and children alike are all being caught and detained if not executed…it’s a fuckin’ nightmare,”

  “Jesus fuckin’ Christ…”

  “Yeah, it’s lookin’ like the war is upon us all and it ain’t fussy over who gets involved,”

  “What’re we gonna do about it man?” Zicque asked.

  “I suppose we just keep as low a profile as we can, and whatever you do – don’t draw attention to yourself. Shit man there’s buildings on fire, break and enters everywhere, fuckin’ people turning against – we’ll just have to avoid the ruckus the best we can ’til we can ride it out. Carry anything you can use as a weapon to defend yourself at all times and really watch your six…”

  “Wow.” Was all he could say, then they sat in silence taking a good gulp of their scotch-whisky here and there. Ruek was just about done with stitching himself together when Zicque said;

  “Well, it’s getting late man I’m gonna go and crash out.” And he sculled the rest of his beverage, nodded then got up and wandered off.

  “Cheers for puttin’ me up man catch ya later,”

  “All good Man.”

  Ruek then poured himself another drink, sculled it then sprawled out on the couch and crashed.

  Enter Scenario

  “Trolls! Trolls! Ugly, yucky, fucking trolls! You get set on your way, soon to stop to have to pay, wasting time you haven’t got and they connive and plot.

  And I’m so certain they’re only ever meant to test, but when the going get tough – where do those tough trolls get?

  Far back behind I can only suspect, out to collect larger passing debts. They don’t care where you’re going nor the reasons why – just want to deter you most of the time,

  As long as they get what they want they’re happy –

  But you can bet their happiness is at the expense of you being crabby,

  Trolls! Trolls! Ugly, yucky, fucking Trolls,

  No getting by them without paying a toll…” – Sheytavici.

  Trolls

  Congratulations!

  You’ve asserted your point,

  So how does it feel?

  Do you feel big? All better?

  I’m a big giant fuckhead,

  So fuckng what – let it go,

  Everybody’s heard what you said,

  Don’t be a twat and drop the show,

  If that’s all there is,

  We’ll get rolling,

  Leave him with the shits,

  Alone to his trolling,

  They work a huge act,

  But never want it back,

  They never like it back,

  They falter lacking the tact,

  Surprise fuckers! I bounce back,

  Duck for cover – you’re under attack,

  My oh my, the odds are mighty stacked,

  You just haven’t got the knack,

  And if that’s all there is –

  Then we’ll get rolling,

  Leave ’em with the shits,

  And alone to their trolling.

  Exit Scenario

  “They all want something for nothing, and it really all does sound barely fucking worth it most the time, makes you question it. Some of them will even take that little bit more. Having the hide to beg for tips. Here’s a tip – get a job, a real job – like, what the fuck’s the point of all this? It’d be another story if all of them were polite, they know they’re getting something off of you – for nothing – the least they could do is fucking smile about it. But no, they barely like it where they are, they aren’t happy and so feel obliged to make everything as painfully difficult as they can for others. No sense, no consideration, no sign of intelligent life there… I suppose the world needs bottom-feeders… balance and all that jargon…” – Sheytavici.

  Enter Scenario

  ““Sekhmet, give me the strength to stand my ground and deliver a beating where due…”

  I begin my prayer. Where when forced with ideals and trespassed against – so too will I be enforcing in my vengeance. Should there be any wrong done out of hate or anger or jealousy against me – then Sekhmet, let I too smash my enemies with such force to repel them. Let my aggravators, agitators know that I too will aggravate but also bring an all-new trembling power to eradicate my foes. Extinguish whatever hateful flame flares up in my face and let my presence be known. I will be the last person anyone trespasses against. I will seek vengeance Sekhmet – hear me, it will be in your name that I honour with the blood I may draw from another. And I will be as ruthless and merciless so that I may receive you
r blessings. Let my blows be ever fatal. Praise to you Sekhmet. Praise and many thanks.” – Privisctine.

  Under The Guise Of Brutality

  My light, my charisma,

  Defines me the prisoner,

  Constantly taken for a ride,

  Anger bides to never subside,

  I’ll pray to Sekhmet,

  In the time I feel most vengeant,

  Pray my blows be fatal,

  Hammer down their casket nails,

  Silent until trespassed against,

  To pay the karmic consequence,

  Good, Evil, vice versa in an instant,

  My duality constant and equally consistent,

  An Angel with a dark façade,

  His light contained, defensively barred,

  A sad but intensifying reality,

  And such is the guise of brutality,

  I’ll pray to Sekhmet,

  In the time I feel most vengeant,

  Pray my blows be fatal,

  Hammer down their casket nails,

  More than just a deterrent,

  Poised for cases of recurrence,

  To smash and collapse my enemies,

  Be recognized as an entity,

  I’d do just about anything to protect my light,

  Amplify its’ defense with a barbaric fight,

  Saintly or Sinful depends on the way,

  They persuade me to play,

  I’ll pray to Sekhmet,

  In the times I feel the most vengeant,

  Pray my blows be fatal,

  Hammer down their casket nails,

  I’ll pray to Sekhmet,

  The moment I feel most vengeant,

  Pray my blows be ever fatal,

  Hammer down their casket nails…

  Exit Scenario

  “My light does define me a prisoner. Undesirable attention of some I neither wish nor care to know. People whose luck is generally bad and things go wrong. But never accept responsibility nor wish to make any change for the better. All I want is to be as far away from them as possible. I don’t wanna be there when it goes bad – if it goes bad. I hate drama. And I’ll be fucked if I’m going to let them sucker me in. Problem is, I draw a lot of attention from these miserable bastards because of my charisma. Some people must think to themselves that I would be a useful candidate in helping them acquire different goals. And not all of them are good. I hate drawing attention to myself because I’m very recognisable as it is – and I don’t want to be made an example of when I have the better sense not to get involved. I can take a hit but the problem is – some of the time I have to give it back, because whether I liked it or not – I’m going to have to be the one to teach a lesson. And not all lessons are easily learnt. Sometimes, you’ve gotta beat it through people. Sometimes you can’t be so subtle. Sometimes, they just don’t get it.” – Privisctine.

  Chapter 3:

  Obsession with The Feminine Presence

  Content Titles (Alphabetically Sequenced:

  1.A Place, So Fair

  2.Abandoned

  3.Barren

  4.By-Product

  5.Cougar’s

  6.Enter Scenario

  7.Dead At The Riverstead pt.1

  8.Dead at the RiverStead pt.2

  9.Diamond Goddess Divine

  10.Divisive Anxiety

  11.Eye-Candy

  12.Four ‘N’ Twenties

  13.Howlin’

  14.In A Parallel Universe…

  15.Keep

  16.Lady Of The Lake

  17.Lie Lived By

  18.Love Me Rough

  19.Master Of Complexity

  20.Morbid Embrace

  21.My Eternal You

  22.My Obsession

  23.Naughty Things

  24.Peach Leech

  25.Play the Tart

  26.Sedate Me, Rape Me,

  27.Shed My Skin

  28.Sinfully, Your Predecessor…

  29.Slammin’

  30.Strutter

  31.Sweep Over You

  32.Sweep Over You – cont.

  33.Synchronized

  34.The Way She Was

  35.Thrust!

  36.Tigress (Queen of the night)

  37.’Til It Hurts

  38.Touch You

  39.Weeping Widow

  40.Wilting Rose

  41.You Rescue Me

  Enter Scenario

  “A love that was more of a convenience and of an interest of mine at the time. I can’t say I meant any other intention than that of fun at the time however. Some – no, most of my friends might shake their heads as I tell the tale, but all I can say is I had had fun, she did too and I’m getting passed that phase in my life. I don’t regret any moment of it – but there were plenty of times I felt that way about a lot of other women, and for the same reasons… I don’t regret them either. Every one of them was an experience and I might in some way still feel the slightest emotion for them in some way – and I guess if there ever were another chance – I would probably do it again and again…and again. Each time perhaps that little bit better educated and just as daring as the last time. And if there were any other chance of the past repeating itself with any of them – then I might just cite this piece for them/ to them. Or…I might even just cite it to the next unsuspecting obsession…” – Netheil.

  A Place, So Fair

  Take my hand,

  And I shall take you there,

  A place so beautiful,

  A place so fair,

  It’s where dreams are born

  They run wild and free,

  Love here isn’t tired nor worn,

  And we can be happy,

  Allow me to show you what you mean to me,

  Every minute of the day and through the night,

  Traipse back and forth an early morning beach

  Basking in the glorious light,

  Our spirits will raise us up so high,

  Our souls could endlessly fly,

  No tyrants, no pain, nor hunger nor fear,

  No chance of heartache reaching us here,

  This love I have for you,

  Eternal and strong

  And in time due,

  An unbreakable bond,

  This here and now feels so right,

  Our embrace glows ever bright,

  You have me to the end,

  And even beyond from then.

  Exit Scenario

  “I never say anything I don’t mean – or rather, I really don’t like to. I like expressing how I feel with a series of compliments, I express my gratitude – appreciation, and at best – whenever, wherever, however I may – I say exactly what is in my heart. And with thanks. With praise. I may not have much of a lot of stuff, bugger all materialistic things – but what I do have I never hesitate to share with anyone for a second if I saw they truly needed it. Well, within reason… I romance the women, I prefer ladies.” – Netheil.

  Enter Scenario

  “Of all that one might want out of a relationship and what is required in return – to make it work – one might feel they’ve given their all and feel as though they have nothing left to give. But, what happens when both feel that way yet both have not fulfilled the needs of the other – what then? Do you split? Cut the loss and move on and forget what you had? Or should it be further worked on still despite what damage has been done?

  At what point is it enough? How much of a skeletal structure should be left before you just give up and walk away?

  My worst fear has surfaced once again, and now I feel as lost and hopeless as my darkest ever moments across time. I’ve finally been abando
ned by the one I loved the most dearly. Abandoned and left in a still darkening circumstance, - in a still darkening crisis.” – Cabbaccaba.

  Abandoned

  Abandoned in a darkening crisis,

  Marooned, entombed by disheartening vices,

  A branded gloom via pardoning prices,

  An outstanding doom discarding devices,

  Giving away a piece of me,

  The best of me – the rest of me,

  Giving myself away,

  One dies quicker with a sickened, saddened soul,

  Or one may become a killer, bitter, maddened and cold,

  A caustic collapse with an inward fold,

  And it’s been seen before just another way told,

  Throwing away a piece of me,

  The best of me – The rest of me,

  I’m throwing myself away.

  Exit Scenario

  “I lost my soul mate, my twin flame. I’d put too much on her and asked of her more than I should have fairly. I became too comfortable, too lax and it’s driven us apart. It scared her off. And I don’t even remember when I was last in control – of behaviours, habits, finances and more – the list extends. I hurt her worse than I had ever intended and made it worse for myself. She doesn’t show the ache as much as I but I know it’s there – she just diverts her thoughts in other ways, she keeps herself busy.

  We don’t talk anymore, and I haven’t been handling these circumstances so well. I’m surprised I haven’t had as much of an urge to cut myself as I have in the past, my face, my chest… urge is gone, wait – no, It’s still there, I’m just learning to love myself more these days. Still, I fuckin’ hate feeling alone. Have felt it for most of my life so far already -I should probably be used to it by now… I really didn’t expect all this this time soon… so fucking soon…” – Cabbaccaba.

 

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