by L. A. Fiore
The house phone rang, before I could call to her to let it ring, she was answering it. A second or two later, she called to me, “Colin’s on the phone.”
She held out the phone. I kissed her before I took it.
“Hi, Colin.”
“Are you sitting down?”
It wasn’t like Colin to be dramatic. The man was reserved, much like William but not as stiff. “Should I be?”
“I think so for this news. Guess who I just got off the phone with, who wants an exhibit of your work?”
It was like a sledgehammer, how hard my heart was pounding. “You’re kidding.”
“No. Early 2016 The Met will be featuring Greyson Ratcliffe. I know it’s close to three years away, but that is how far in advance they book their exhibits.”
“Holy shit.”
“My thoughts exactly.”
Alexis was eyeing me, eager to hear the news. I pulled her close.
“Tell them yes.”
“I already did.”
“This is incredible. Thank you, Colin.”
“You’ve earned it. I’ve got to go. I’ve got paintings to assemble. Let’s meet next week so you can approve what I’ve selected.”
“Text me when and where. I’ll get a flight. Thank you.”
I hung up, Alexis was smiling even though she didn’t even know what the news was. She was just happy for me because I was happy. I kissed her. I didn’t throw her off the scent though; she looked expectant. “So what happened?”
“The Met is doing an exhibit of my work.”
She looked like a guppy. Her mouth opened, but words evaded her so she closed it again. It took about a minute before she replied, “The Met?”
I grinned.
“That was your dream, like your all time dream was to get into The Met.”
It shouldn’t have surprised me she remembered and still my chest got all tight knowing that she had. “Yes.”
She threw her arms around me. “This is incredible, monumental. We have to do something to commemorate this moment.”
I had an idea that required no clothing.
“We should go out and celebrate.”
I dropped her ass on the counter and kissed her, tasting that mouth, every fucking inch. “We should stay in and celebrate.”
Her legs curled around my waist. “You make a persuasive argument.”
Alexis 2016
I didn’t understand how he was so calm. I wanted to throw up. It was the premiere of his exhibit; we were hosting a small cocktail party before we made our way to The Met. Our family was here, everyone but Mr. and Mrs. Cantenelli. Mr. C. had the flu. Poor man was bedridden. Paige joined me in the kitchen as I plated finger foods.
“How is he so calm?” Paige asked.
“I don’t know. I’m freaking out.”
“You look beautiful though. I love that dress.”
I did too. It was an extravagance, the beaded cowl-back gown in pale blue, but one Greyson insisted on when he saw me in it. “It’s decadent, but it feels like a dream on. And you all sexy in peacock blue.” A form fitting sheath, which on Paige with her figure was seriously sexy.
“Grant loves this dress.”
“I can see why. Tara and Mandy are growing up so fast. And Heather, I hardly recognized her. The twins love that she’s following in their footsteps and going to Berkley next year.”
Paige shuddered teasingly, “Seriously, they rubbed off on her big time.”
“Is Tara still loving her work at the publishing house?” I asked.
Tara moved to San Francisco after she graduated, got an entry-level position at one of the big publishing houses, but she was a workhorse like her dad so she climbed quickly.
“She has ten full-time clients, edits on the side. She loves it.” Paige knocked her shoulder into mine. “She takes after you.”
I guess she kind of did. That felt good.
“Mandy has got feelers out for teaching positions. She’d like to stay on the West Coast, but it depends on what’s available. What about you? No news on the baby front?” Mandy was finishing her undergraduate degree in early child development. Where the hell had the time gone?
Baby, it was the only shadow in the brightness of my life. As much as Greyson and I tried, and we tried a lot, we hadn’t gotten pregnant. I was thirty-six. We were running out of time. That hurt, and there was the added guilt of not continuing the Ratcliffe name, that it would end with us. I hated thinking that, so I tried to stay hopeful.
“No, but we’re still trying.”
“It’ll happen. I really do believe that. And women are having healthy babies later in life. You still have time.”
“I hope so.”
“Okay.” Paige took one platter; I took the other. “Let’s feed these people and then get to this shindig.”
Greyson
It was a little surreal, being here, walking through the exhibit that featured my work. The greatest of the greats had graced the walls of these prestigious halls. That I was now amongst them was humbling. Alexis hadn’t let go of my hand, her face beaming with pride. It wasn’t the fanfare or the beautiful people. She was a bundle of restless happy energy for me. That was even more humbling, deserving the love of this woman.
Callum and Colin joined us as Alexis studied one of my favorite paintings. It was of the moor where Mom used to ride. Lady was off center, grazing on the grass as mist rolled over the hills. Most didn’t see it, but the mist took shape in the negative space. I didn’t even realize I’d done it, those ghosts the housemaids were always whispering about.
“Your parents would be so proud, Greyson. They knew it, from when you were just a little kid, they knew one day you would be here.” Callum couldn’t hide his own pride. That was humbling too.
Alexis pressed her face into my arm to hide her tears. I had them burning the back of my eyes too. “I wouldn’t be here if not for both of you. This is as much a tribute to you as it is for me.”
“Nonsense, but kind of you to say.” So like Colin to be humble. “I think a whiskey is in order,” Colin added, turning to Grandfather who never declined a good Irish whiskey.
Grandfather kissed Alexis on the cheek then turned to me and winked. “We’ll see you later. Enjoy your moment.”
Alexis pressed closer, one hand linked with mine, the other curled around my bicep. I wanted a moment with her so I led her to a quiet corner.
“This is incredible. The best day of your life I bet,” she offered, her focus on the people crowding the exhibit room.
Her hair was up; a few strands fell from the knot and that beauty mark that drove me crazy teased me. “No, not the best day of my life.”
Smiling eyes turned from the scene to me then warmed because my girl could read me too. I played with the few loose strands then met her gaze. “Our wedding day was the best day of my life.”
Her expression softened. “For me too.”
“The day we played hooky ranks up there.” I leaned in and caught her bottom lip between my teeth. “The day I showed you a new way to appreciate laundry is also high on my list.”
Her cheeks heated at the memory. “That was a really good day.”
“What do you say we get out of here and find a diner that makes hot fudge sundaes?”
Her smile was answer enough.
Reaching for my phone I called Grant. “Meet us at the door. We’re going for sundaes.”
“You really want to leave this,” Alexis asked as she gestured to the sight, and it was a pretty spectacular sight. One I was deeply honored by, but I wanted to be around family because that would make this near perfect night, perfect.
“Yeah. The girls have to catch us up on what’s new.”
She pressed a kiss on my mouth. “I love you.”
“I know.”
Ten minutes later we were leaving the gala, I glanced back and felt lucky to call these people my family. Callum and the twins were laughing about something. Paige and Colin were walking togethe
r, heads close. Grant was with his girls, all talking at once and Alexis; she was holding my hand tightly in hers. Life was good. Life was really fucking good.
It sounded like a car backfiring; Alexis’ hand pulled from mine. I turned to her; her expression was one of confusion and pain, her hands moving to her stomach where red was blooming over the pale blue. It all happened in slow motion and then it all sped up. Grant appeared, his arms going around someone. I saw a gun drop to the concrete. Paige was screaming, the girls were crying and Alexis was on the ground, blood pooling around her. It didn’t seem real.
“Alexis!” I didn’t know I was screaming her name until the crowd formed. I knew what it felt like when your heart and soul died because that was how I felt. Her beautiful eyes were closed; the hand that had just been holding mine was covered in blood.
“NO!” I roared and dropped down next to her and took her hand. “Call a fucking ambulance.” I couldn’t see her chest moving. I felt for a pulse, it was so weak. I offered my own life for hers in that moment.
“I’m here, beautiful. Please don’t leave me. Come back; come back to me. Open those eyes. I need to see you. Please…” Tears streamed down my face. She was so still. My Alexis wasn’t here. I dropped my head and begged, “Let me see you.”
The sirens came. I stepped back only far enough to let them work, my focus on her hand that wore my rings, the symbol of our lives together, unmoving, lifeless. I willed her to live. I would give anything, absolutely anything for her to open her eyes.
“We’ve got a pulse. It’s weak but we’ve got one.”
I cried harder. “That’s it, beautiful. Fucking fight, fight baby, please.”
I didn’t let them say no, pushing into the ambulance, taking her hand as the paramedic tried to stabilize her. There was so much blood.
“She’s coding.” He pushed me out of the way and started chest compressions. I wanted to wake up because this had to be fucking nightmare, it couldn’t be real. My girl was not in this fucking ambulance fighting for her life. He got a pulse just as we were pulling into the ER. I never let go of her hand until I had to. I stood, covered in her blood and watched as they wheeled the best part of me away.
Our family poured into the ER minutes later. Paige ran right into me and grabbed my face as tears ran down hers. “She’s going to live through this.”
I yanked her into my arms. I needed to hold onto something because I was cracking apart.
The cops appeared, Grant with them. It came then, the rage. Who the fuck shot Alexis?
“I’m sorry, Mr. Ratcliffe, but we need to ask you some questions.” My hands unconsciously curled into fists. I couldn’t focus; I didn’t want to answer fucking questions I wanted to be with Alexis.
“I know this is difficult but the more we know,” the cop urged.
I fucking didn’t know anything except that my wife was fighting for her fucking life. Colin approached, I’m glad he did because I was close to punching the officer. Not his fault, but bad fucking timing. I walked away, thinking of nothing but Alexis. Her beautiful smiling face, holding my hand one minute and the next…
I dropped into a chair, holding my head in my hands because it took too much effort to keep it upright. I hadn’t cried since my parents died, but I cried and prayed and offered everything and anything that my girl would pull through.
The wait was killing me, the soft mumbling of voices in the waiting room, the swing of the emergency room doors, one catching in the slide and grinding open then closed. The smell of stale coffee, sweat and tears. You could smell fucking tears. I had them all over me—mine, Paige’s, the girls, even Grant and the twins. Seeing her lying there, the blood, so still, so lifeless. I didn’t know what I would do if she didn’t live. How did you come back from that? I had to be positive, but I was fucking human and I saw her code in the ambulance. I watched her die right in front of me. I dropped my head in my hands; those fucking tears started again.
It felt like fucking eternity, but it was probably only about an hour after Alexis was brought in that the emergency doors opened followed by the sound of heavy footsteps. I glanced over to see as four bikers entered. The same leather cut, the same hard glare, and that look in their eyes that said they’d done and seen everything. I recognized the blue glare, the spiky black hair. He was older, harder but it was Alexis’ father. He had been watching her. My eyes burned. She would love to know that. His gaze hit me like a fucking punch in the gut before he prowled into the waiting room.
“Where is she?” he demanded.
Grant and the twins rose from their seats and flanked me. I appreciated the gesture, but if things got ugly we didn’t stand a chance.
“Surgery.”
“What the fuck happened?”
It was the unspoken accusation that I was in any way responsible; that my beautiful Alexis was fighting for her life and I had somehow played a part that had rage overruling common sense. I got right in his face. “Be very careful.”
The biker with a tattoo curling around his neck, moved in. “Or what?”
It was in my eyes; if Alexis died, I had nothing left to lose.
Her dad lifted his hand, the signal for his bulldog to back off. “Maybe we should take this somewhere else.”
We walked to the chapel. I didn’t know why I went there and not the cafeteria. I wasn’t a religious person, but it kind of felt like Alexis’ fate rested with a higher power. The wooden pews were empty as I walked deeper into the room.
“What happened?”
“I’m Greyson. Alexis’ husband.”
“I know.”
“I met her at sixteen. I was sitting on her jetty…” I chuckled remembering that day. “It was a public beach, the rocks fair game, but it was her spot. I was drawn to those rocks. I thought at first it was the view, but I think now it was her. I felt her first. You know that sixth sense you get? It was like that, but not a brush of awareness. It was a punch. She was holding the handles of the ugliest bike I have ever seen, but she was the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen. I fell in love in that second and I have loved her every second of every day since.” I met his gaze then. “My beautiful girl is fighting for her life. Someone shot her. She was so full of life one minute and…” I sat and dropped my head in my hands. “She loves you.”
I felt his stare, but I didn’t look up. “She even understands why you left, but she has missed you. Has felt the loss of you every day since you left. You need to make that right.”
“It’s not that easy.” He sat down next to me, like the weight of the world was forcing him to his knees. “I wish it were, but it’s not that easy. She’s going to pull through this and she’ll have you to help her find her way back.”
“Yeah she will.”
He offered his hand, he wasn’t the biker now, he was a father. “I’m Finn.” He didn’t release my hand, waiting for my attention. “I’ve been able to stay away because she’s in good hands.”
“You aren’t staying.” I already knew the answer.
“Only until she’s out of surgery. She has a long road ahead of her, throwing me into the mix would be selfish.”
“I do understand why you’ve stayed away, but she’s your daughter and you only live life once. You’re missing so much.”
His eyes turned away and a vulnerability settled over him, something I was sure his club members never saw. “It’s been thirty-four years and still I feel the loss of Sade like it was yesterday. She’s gone. I met her at sixteen too, the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen. I lost her at twenty. I got four years with the love of my life before she was taken from me and still I love her, miss her, mourn her.” His blue gaze shifted and I saw his pain. “I won’t be responsible for the death of the only other person I love.” And yet as we sat there he was thinking as I was. Was he responsible for Alexis getting shot?
We sat in that chapel for hours. What we needed to say had been said and when the doctor found us to share that Alexis had pulled through the surgery, F
inn left. Alexis’ father was a ghost of a man living on the outside of his own life and yet it was his own choices that put him there. I wasn’t sure I planned on telling her of his visit because the news would only bring her more pain.
The machines were the only noise in the room. The twins were sleeping in the chairs; Paige and Grant were asleep too on a sofa the nurses let us bring in. The girls were taking shifts, getting people food and coffee. I sat at Alexis’ bedside holding her hand. She lived through the surgery, but she hadn’t woken up. The bullet nicked her stomach and destroyed her spleen, but it missed her spinal cord. There were also neurology problems, at a minimum a concussion. They wouldn’t know the extent until she woke. The fact that she lived through the surgery was nothing short of a miracle. She needed to rest; she needed to gather her strength, her body needed to heal. She’d wake up, my girl would wake up, and I would sit here until she did.
I pressed a kiss on her hand. “Take all the time you need, beautiful. I’m not going anywhere.”
Alexis
I felt like I was swimming in a vat of oil, struggling to keep my head afloat but losing the battle. My body ached and still I struggled. I managed to open my eyes. The light hurt them. Confusion brought panic until I felt Greyson right before he appeared in my line of sight.
“Alexis?”
I couldn’t talk and I struggled to see him. He looked broken.
He was gone, but I heard his voice. “She’s awake.”
It all felt like a dream, unfocused and elusive. A man appeared, the doctor. “You gave us quite the scare. I’m going to take the tube out, okay?”
I nodded. It hurt coming out.
“Don’t try to talk just yet.”
I motioned for a glass of water. Greyson immediately filled one and helped me drink it.
I tried to stay with Greyson, needed to assure him I was okay, but the darkness took me again. It was two weeks later that I was finally able to stay awake for any duration.
My family stood in my hospital room; bright flower arrangements were on every horizontal surface. Balloons and chocolates filled in the spaces, but it was a mask concealing the gloom with an attempt at cheer. I hurt and I didn’t understand what had happened. One minute everything was beautiful and the next it felt like a curtain had been dropped onto my life. I couldn’t remember. Maybe I didn’t want to remember. The doctor was talking. I had trouble focusing on his words. I heard parts.