by Phavy Prieto
"I'm not going to take that risk, Miss..."
"Maria! Are you still here?" Aurora, my supervisor, exclaimed as she approached the elevator.
"No, not now," I thought when I saw her.
"Aurora! I was just about to go upstairs, but..." I began to say when my interlocutor saw that Adonis.
"Oh, Mr. Devoir!" Aurora exclaimed, surprised and pale in the face. "I... I mean... I hope everything is well?" she added nervously.
"Everything is great! In fact, I was already leaving," he said, smiling mischievously and waving my planner in the air as he walked towards the exit.
"What?" I said. "But... my..." I could not add anything else because Aurora dragged me into the elevator and pressed the button to go to the floor where the new project for the new boss had to be presented. I could not understand how my planner, my precious planner ended up in the hands of a complete stranger. No matter how cool he was, he remained a stranger.
Wait... Aurora addressed him as Devoir.
"Do you know that guy?" I asked suddenly, coming out of my trance, as if my limb just got amputated.
"Sure, didn't you recognize him?"
"Recognize him?" I asked confused.
Could you imagine if that guy was really a model from Men's Health?
"Oh, that's right!" she suddenly stated. "I forgot that you never come to the Christmas party because you prefer to go back home."
What the hell does the Christmas party have to do with that handsome man now?
"Mr. and Mrs. Devoir don't usually come to the branch, as it's not the main one. I don't know what has happened. It probably has something to do with the new director. Yes, it must surely be that... Without his suit, I almost didn't recognize him," said Aurora.
"Will you tell me who he is?" I exclaimed exasperated, trying to find out who the man who had seized my planner was.
"Oh dear... He is handsome, but you don't need to get that nervous," she said, looking at me indulgently. "It was Damian Devoir."
"Damian Devoir?" I said confused. I didn't have the faintest idea who he was.
"That’s right. Mr. and Mrs. Devoir are the owners of the holding and Damian is one of the owners."
Goddamn it! Did I throw coffee all over the super boss of all bosses? Fuck, fuck, fuck! And what's more, he has my planner!
And suddenly I remembered that I had, in fact, written in my planner that I would masturbate that night.
Oh my God ... I want to die.
Chapter II
"It can't be true," I thought going up in the elevator. I wanted to get out as soon as possible to retrieve the black planner that a few seconds earlier that angel-faced Adonis had seized.
"Damn me! I need a Kinder Bueno, one Kinder Bueno... I would need at least twenty of them to calm my nerves right now!" I whispered to myself.
Thanks to my self-control, I was able to limit the consumption of that chocolate created for gluttony, except when an irrepressible anxiety prevailed.
"I want a Kinder Bueno, I need a Kinder Bueno. And I want it now!" I thought. A fire was raging inside me, and in an attempt to calm my anxiety, I nibbled at my trembling index finger.
"Couldn't the meeting be postponed?" I asked confidently.
"Obviously not!" Aurora blurted out as if I were offering her an intimate dinner with Hannibal Lecter. "Mr. Ramirez is already waiting for us, and we certainly cannot postpone it."
I clenched my teeth hard to try to control myself. I hate not having everything under control, and at that moment nothing was under my control! Neither my unbearable hangover headache nor my planner. Not even my nerves at the very thought that that Adonis with perfect hair could discover my innermost secrets.
"I want to die, but this time for real!" I whimpered to myself, thinking of the amount of information about my private life in that planner.
"Would you, by any chance, know how to contact Mr. Devoir?" I asked with feigned disinterest. Contrary to my intention, I made the opposite impression, because a luminous sign must have flashed on my forehead, with the word "desperate" on it.
Aurora laughed in my face for that absurd request.
"They don't give the phone to employees of the company, Maria, but you can always try to call his secretary who will, in all likelihood, leave you waiting."
Great! From now on they will see me as one of those crazy women who try to hook up with their multimillionaire bosses. Hateful social climbers that I despised because for me the greatest professional satisfaction was to advance solely on one's own merits.
"Shit," I whispered in anguish.
"Is something wrong, Maria?" Aurora insisted. "It seems that Mr. Devoir has made a pleasant impression on you."
Great! Now at work they will call me the boss's lackey.
"You know, he accidentally took some documents from me," I replied with a half-lie. "Very important documents," I added gravely to give my words more credibility.
"In that case, I'm sure he will leave them at the reception, as soon as he realizes it was a mistake."
Yes... and unicorns exist, and they are pink.
"Yes, sure," I replied breathing in air because my lungs were starting to run out of oxygen.
Mr. Ramirez was stiffer than a lamppost but not as tall, and more rigid than a drill sergeant on the battlefield. I was used to dealing with men like him, but he criticized my presentation so much and my sugar level was so low (because of the lack of a specific kind of chocolate), plus my planner was missing, so my nerves were on edge.
I don't think I've ever felt like this since I was seven.
"Don't worry, Mr. Ramirez," Aurora said, "your directions will be implemented and appropriate changes will be made to prepare another presentation within a week."
Great, more work to do! I thought overwhelmed by headache. But at least that hell was over.
As soon as the meeting was over, I went to the reception where, unfortunately, there was no trace of my planner: that idiot had really taken it away. Did I write down even more embarrassing things to discover? Of course, I did, like the times I would have sex and with whom.
Oh my God... Oh my God! I thought, standing at the cash desk of the small supermarket located in front of the company's headquarters, waiting to pay with a fifty euro banknote for the ten Kinder Buenos I was holding in my hand.
"Plus, I'm going to have to kill myself in the gym to burn all these calories," I said to myself, clenching my teeth. But when I tasted the first bar, I immediately felt how the flavor of the hazelnut cream mixed with chocolate melted in my mouth. "Oh, yeah!" I gasped, closing my eyes for that infinite, almost orgasmic pleasure.
As soon as I got home, I left my gym bag on the kitchen counter, as usual, to put the dirty clothes in the washing machine immediately.
"Maria! You finally came!" exclaimed Nerea a little too enthusiastically for my taste. I figured it was because Mathews was satisfied with the double date last night.
"Well, I would say I did, as usual, right after the gym," I replied more ironically than usual.
Unfortunately for me, the effect of the hangover had completely vanished, and this increased the awareness that Mr. Right was in possession of my planner and that there was no way to trace him. His secretary continued to be evasive with my intern and to obtain his personal number was mission impossible. I left dozens of messages like a totally desperate person, and with every passing minute whatever was left of my dignity made me feel ashamed of myself.
"Do you know that Mathews' cousin really liked you?" Nerea whispered as she took an orange from the fruit bowl and started fiddling with it.
"He probably believes that certain statements make him more interesting in my eyes," I thought, remembering the idiot I had met the previous night.
"If you are trying to make me feel flattered, you should know that you are light years away from succeeding," I replied, putting the dirty clothes in the washing machine and pressing the quick wash button. "He's so ugly that he would make onions cry," I stated and walked with my ha
lf-empty bag to my room.
"Not to mention that he's more insipid than a dish of unsalted pasta."
"Maria!" Nerea exclaimed as if she were offended.
"Come on now! Are you going to tell me that he is handsome like your Mathews? If so, you should be seen by an ophthalmologist. And a good one."
"It's not about that... but considering that you haven't been dating a guy for a long time..."
"Look, Nerea, now it is not the time," I said, cutting her speech short, because I certainly didn't need someone to remind me of the prolonged absence of a partner in my life. "I had a long day and what's more, an angel-faced Adonis stole my planner..."
"What?" she said, astonished.
I briefly told her what had happened. Instead of putting herself in my shoes, she burst out laughing. The beauty of having friends... Better to be an ostrich, to put your head in a hole in the ground and be hit by a steamroller. The situation could not be more ridiculous. I already saw myself as a viral phenomenon on the social media as “the black planner freak”.
"At least he's a handsome man," Nerea said, wiping away her tears.
“Yes, although in these circumstances I would have preferred him to be as ugly as sin. Maybe I wouldn't have felt so ashamed."
"Okay, but he told you that he would contact you, didn't he?"
"It's not entirely clear to me, honestly," I sighed and dropped onto the kitchen counter.
"I think this is the first time I've seen you wasting your time," Nerea said, smiling. And it was true. By writing everything down in the planner I didn't need to memorize anything, so at that moment I was a bit disoriented. I had just followed the usual routine: leaving the office, going to the gym, going home, doing some laundry... but then what?
Nerea had plans with Mathews, so I put on my nightgown to watch a movie on my laptop on the sofa. Not even ten minutes later the phone began to vibrate. As I grabbed it, I saw it was an unknown number.
"Who the hell is calling me at this hour?" I whispered. In any case, I slid my finger to answer in case of a possible emergency call.
"Are you having a good time, Miss Acosta?" said a male voice that made me hold my breath because of the masculinity it transmitted. I did not even have time to answer, when I heard, "Because I think that at this hour you had an appointment with an orgasm..."
Oh my God! It was him! It was Damian Devoir!
Wait, wait... Did you just say what I heard?
Something told me yes.
"Are you calling me to give back my planner or to find out if I've reached it?" I ventured with a certain impudence. To my surprise, I heard a loud laugh on the other side of the phone. I got up, leaving the laptop closed on the sofa, a mania of those who can never talk on the phone while sitting.
"Actually, I'm still thinking about it," the guy replied casually.
If he wasn't so cool, I would have slapped him already. Well, I won't give it to him because he's cool and because he's the boss of all my bosses. Don't forget who you're talking to, Maria.
"Well, you'd better decide quickly because I'm a pretty busy woman," I said dryly.
“I think I've already deduced that from your planner. I just had to take a quick look to realize how busy you are. And this writing everything down quirk... doesn't it seem a bit strange to you?"
"If you want to imply that I'm a strange person, I'll tell you I'm not, I'm a limited edition," I replied as formally as possible while I bit my lip and looked at the ceiling.
"Limited edition?" he asked and burst out laughing again. "Yes... I'm starting to think that you are, Miss Acosta."
"So are you going to give me back my planner?" I asked annoyed.
"Maybe."
Maybe? What do you mean "maybe"? What the hell was that answer? Certainly "maybe" was not the answer I wanted to hear.
"I need my planner," I said, trying to stay calm.
"And I need a new shirt," he argued in his defense.
"Fantastic, I'll give you the money to buy a new one," I replied, on the verge of losing my patience.
Or, if you prefer, you can stick it in that perfect ass of yours, I thought lasciviously.
"No," he replied. I clenched my teeth even harder to the point that my lip bled.
"Ouch! Shit!" I said putting a hand on my lip which was stained with blood.
"Something happened?"
"Yes! Of course something happened!" I exclaimed furiously. "You can't go around stealing other people's belongings!"
"If you want me to return your planner so badly, you will have to earn it," he replied with such a calm that made me even more furious.
"What are you suggesting, Mr. Devoir?" I asked bluntly.
"If I told you I'd be sharing a secret of mine."
What kind of answer is that? I'm more confused than a flea in a plush toy.
"Please explain, what the hell you had in mind when you called me?"
"To know if you were following your schedule and if you wanted me to remind you of what you had planned for tomorrow, of course," he immediately replied.
And I have to thank you for the favour too, right?
I was silent for a moment because I only wanted to tell him one thing, "As for me, you can go fuck yourself!"
"Did you hear me? Are you still there?" he said.
"Yeah, it's just that I voluntarily suffer from selective deafness from time to time," I replied and heard a faint laughter from him.
“Well, I must confess that you have wonderful eyes, Miss Acosta. I hope your condition doesn't stop you from hearing my last words."
He hung up before I could answer. Had he paid me a compliment or had I dreamed of it? I was completely lost.
After less than ten minutes on the sofa my phone rang again: once again a call from an unknown number. Was it him again? Here's what happens when you don't register a number in your contacts!
"Hello?" I replied anxiously, hoping that he still had an intention to give me back the planner.
"Maria?" I heard a voice with an English accent that caused a sudden gastroesophageal reflux.
"If it's Mathews' cousin, Nerea will end up badly," I thought immediately.
"I don't know... I think you got the wrong..." I replied almost automatically.
"Maria! It's Steven, Mathews' cousin!" he cut me out immediately.
There, get ready, Nerea, I am coming to kill you. Why did you give him my phone number, if the guy is uglier than a refrigerator seen from behind?
"Oh yes!" I said after making the mistake of speaking so he could recognize my voice. "I am busy at the moment."
"Would you like to have dinner together tomorrow?" he asked directly.
Was it not clear enough to him how little I liked him?
"Tomorrow?" I asked. "No, you kidding? Impossible!"
"All right. The day after tomorrow then?"
"Even worse! I'm very busy at work and it's not a good time. "
"You are very pretty..."
Yeah, thanks. Unfortunately for you, not even your mother would say that to you.
"Er... thanks," I said, almost annoyed. "I have to go, Steven. If anything, you’ll be hearing from me."
"Can't you really come and have dinner with me tomorrow?" he insisted.
"No," I said again. "Among other things, I'm on a diet," I confessed and that at least was true. After having swallowed ten Kinder Buenos I had two options: to start the diet or to make my friends get fat, so that they could not make fun of me.
"Even if I'm right next to your house?" he said as a last resort.
"I’ll kill her... I will kill her," I thought referring to my supposed friend. "How the hell did it occur to her to tell him where we lived?"
"Look, Steven, I'm very tired. Some other time," I repeated.
And that day we will meet in Neverland.
"Come on... come on... I'm almost at the front door of your building."
"Are you thick or what?" I asked bluntly and without any patience. "What part of "no" is not
clear to you?"
"Hey, don’t be rude!"
Now I'm rude?
"I am not rude, it's just that recently there are too many people who are pushing it, and I'm about to lose my patience," I said with no regard for his feelings, and a moment later I hung up.
Aaah, well... At least I vented.
Chapter III
I couldn't focus on the film because I was upset: an impudent degenerate, though gorgeous, was reading the details of my sexual life with my exes. I hoped that he had not checked older entries. I hadn’t had any partner for months, and I was also sure he would get tired of leafing through so many pages. He wouldn't though, would he?
With my luck, if I decided to hang myself from a tree, I would have found myself surrounded by bonsai trees.
The moment I heard the door open, I knew Nerea returned from her idyllic date. I didn't even look at her, despite the clatter of her heels.
"Are you awake?" she was startled as if she had seen a ghost. "And you are in the living room?"
"Yes," I said. "And I haven't sniffed anything, in case you were wondering," I replied, looking away from the screen.
"Yeah," she said, crossing her arms. "Now it turns out that without your planner you don't know what time you should go to bed."
"Ha-ha!" I replied with a wry smile, because I was damn right. "I was waiting for you to ask you why the hell Mathews’ cousin", I said using air quotes, "knows exactly where I live."
Nerea's incredulous face was the proof that she didn't know what I was talking about, but my desire to kill her remained nearly intact: to me she remained guilty.
"Did he show up here?" she exclaimed in amazement as if she didn't believe my words. "I swear I didn't tell him where we live, but I guess Mathews must have told him, because he knows we live together."
"Well, you can tell Mathews to buy his cousin a blow-up doll to help him forget me."
"Oh Maria... Poor thing!" Nerea answered with the attitude of a Red Cross nurse. "Come on, go and have dinner or go for a walk with him. He just came here and doesn't know many people."
"Why don't you go out with him since you feel so sorry for him? I remind you that on our splendid double date you had James Bond and I had Mr. Bean," I said frowning.