What did it even matter? I didn’t want to be his stupid mate, anyway. I didn’t want to be anyone’s mate. Just call me Single Sally. Which was, incidentally, much better sounding than Solitary Cherry.
17
Cezar
I spent what felt like years keeping myself at arms length and watching my mate from afar. It was actually only a week. I had seen Sky and the younglings visit the library the previous evening and did not expect that they had arrived there by coincidence. I hoped that perhaps Sky had been able to pacify Cherry’s reservations. I was aching to discover if she was more favorable to mating but I had also promised to give her space. While I didn’t know the length of time space required, I vowed to wait an entire week before showing myself again.
As the week ended, I was yearning to reunite with my mate. I flew home to shower and dress, hoping to present myself in a nicer than normal fashion, but my entire wardrobe consisted of jeans and T-shirts, so I simply settled for clothing without holes.
It was nearing closing time and rather than flying, I drove my truck to the library. I was hoping that perhaps Cherry might allow me to take her to dinner or a movie after she closed up the library. I did not exactly understand how staying away from one another for a week was supposed to help, but I assumed my lack of understand of such things was due to the fact that I was not human.
As I stepped through the library doors, I was completely unprepared for the assault on my senses and the subsequent reaction of my body. The moment I opened the door and stepped inside, Cherry’s scent was everywhere, permeating the room. That, combined with the fact that I hadn’t been able to fuck my mate and had spent the week longing for her from afar, sent all the blood in my body to my dick, turning it to steel. I was so hard, that I had to painfully make my way over and slide behind one of the cases of books to give myself time to allow my erection to subside. I wanted nothing more than to be buried in my mate. It took ten minutes of me forcing myself to envision Ovide’s hairy ass while I breathed sparingly out of my mouth before I softened enough to be able to move.
When I had better control over my libido, I stepped out in search of Cherry. My eyes were immediately drawn to her. She stood next to the front desk wearing a bright yellow dress that made her complexion glow. It flowed around her thighs as she twisted to reach something behind her back. When she straightened, her body stiffened and she swung around locking eyes with me. I was hoping for a smile, a welcome, a kind greeting, but she turned her back on me without a word.
It was not the warm reception I was hoping for. Had I erred by presenting myself too soon? I hoped that space was not supposed to last for longer than a week. I was not certain I would survive much longer. I paused to consider how best to handle her chilly reception. It was then that I noticed the male beside her.
“Oh, you’re so funny, Gary.” Cherry was lightly resting her hand on his forearm and smiling up at him. My dragon arose. My eyes were glued to her hand on that male’s arm. I fought to maintain control and keep my dragon subdued as I unsuccessfully tried to stifle a growl. I vaguely heard a few gasps from what I could only assume were others in the room.
Gary, lucky for him, did not react. He just nodded and flipped the book he held over his hands. “I think this will do it.”
“Are you sure you don’t need anything else?” Cherry was twirling a strand of hair around her finger as she batted her eyelashes at the soon to be dead male.
Gary just smiled and shook his head. “Thank you, Cherry. Appreciate your help.”
I realized I was still emitting a low growl. I thought I’d stopped. My dragon was incensed, the threat to burn the place to the ground was real. He didn’t care about anything but eliminating the threat—Gary—and claiming his mate.
Beast sounded in my head.
Brother, are you good? You are radiating fury through my head like a steam engine.
No, I am not. A male is too near my mate. I will kill him. After I rip his grinning head from his scrawny neck, I will shred his body and devour his innards.
There was silence for a while and then the sound of laughter.
You are behaving as I behaved with Sky. Do you remember how well my jealousy worked? I almost lost her. So much for trying to court your mate the human way!
I grabbed the side of a shelf to steady myself. He was right. I had to gain control of myself. I was driven by instinct—the need to assert my dominance, prove myself the worthier male, display my fighting prowess and willingness to die for my mate. If I behaved according to instinct, I would certainly lose any chance and destroy any progress I had made thus far.
I must react in the way a human male would. I needed to be a gentlemale. When I did manage to close the gap between myself and Cherry, I still felt like a wild animal, more dragon than male. “Who is Gary?”
With red cheeks, Cherry frowned up at me. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I saw you with the male you called Gary. I want to know if I have competition.”
She went around to the other side of her desk and sat down. “You haven’t been around in quite some time. I didn’t know you were still interested.”
“You told me to give you space.”
“According to what Sky told me, dragons are possessive. I haven’t seen or heard from you in a week. That says a whole lot, I think. Don’t you?”
Possessive? I wanted to turn her over my knee and spank her ass red.
“What do you care if I was flirting with Gary? You wrote me off the minute I told you to give me space. You don’t care about me. Why are you even here? All the other women in town busy, so you come running to Cherry to keep you company?”
My words froze on my tongue. I had so much to say, so much anger bouncing around, but I was stupefied by what she was implying. I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out.
“Exactly. You need to leave now. We’re about to close.” She turned away from me, cutting me off. She got up and stormed into her office, slamming the door behind her.
As much control as I was usually able to wield over my dragon, Cherry’s words and actions had dissolved it to nil. A boiling rage simmered beneath my skin threatening an uncontrolled shift. I stood rooted to the spot willing my anger to cool, taking deep breaths, attempting to subdue the raging beast within. A puff of smoke hurled from my nostrils but I was too focused on not burning the place to cinders to notice whether or not any of the humans in the library saw it. It took several minutes before I was able to quell my dragon enough to safely leave the library.
I had given her space as she asked. It had been torturous, but I did it because she told me it was what she required. Yet, a week later, she was angry with me because I gave her space. She thought I did not care for her. I clearly did not understand how this human interaction was supposed to correctly transpire. It would appear that I had made every mistake that a firemouthed idiot could make. I was at my lowest point of despair.
Suppressing my own needs and instincts in order to claim my mate may indeed work eventually, but I was realizing that it was likely to kill me before it did.
18
Cherry
I let Marilyn close down the library while I stayed hidden in my office. I was mortified and shamed by my behavior. What had I been thinking flirting with Gary? It had been a petty, childish thing to do and even if Cezar had reacted with jealousy, which he hadn’t, it was still a low blow. I’d listened to a child and tried something sophomoric. My punishment was the shame I was feeling. Well, that and the pain of rejection. In fact, shame and pain were battling it out for supremacy.
I’d never done anything with a man before—no dating, no relationships, and certainly no deep feelings. I didn’t understand the rules. But that was a piss poor excuse.
My other excuse was that I hadn’t been able to employ my usual method of obtaining information which was to reference the self-help section of the library because, first of all, it had nothing on dragons, and, second of
all, there wasn’t even anything to look up. That stupid, childish little test of mine had proven that I wasn’t Cezar’s soulmate. His reaction had made it perfectly clear. According to Sky and her nephew, if I was, he would not have been so willing to turn me over to another man.
Besides, he hadn’t shown up for a week. He hadn’t even sent gifts or tried to call. Nothing. As I thought about it, though, I wasn’t even sure he had a phone. I didn’t know very much about him.
Ugh, I just needed to forget what I did know. It should’ve been easy enough. I mean, he was just a hot guy who had shown up, showered me with gifts, given me amazing orgasms, and then faded away.
I figured I should look at the bright side and take the experience for what it was. Who else got to say they lost their virginity to a handsome dragon who was a master at sex? I’d just forget about him.
I spent that entire Sunday thinking about him. Living alone had always been fine with me. But I suddenly felt as though I was walking around an empty home with a huge hole through my center. As though half of me was missing and the other half was longing to reunite with it. I had never before felt so alone. Not to mention my continual state of arousal. My body ached. My nipples were constantly hard, my skin was so hypersensitive that the fabric of my clothing was scratchy, and it felt as though there was a constant drumbeat playing in my panties. None of it make any sense.
In the back of my mind, there was that thing Sky said about soulmates. Was that what was going on with me? What if I had been wrong in judging Cezar’s reactions to mean that I wasn’t his mate? I knew what I was feeling at that moment—like we were already somehow connected and had been destined before either of us ever met. Whoa. I was scaring myself. That was crazy talk.
I tried to think back to what Sky had said. How had she know? Had she felt the same way about her mate? I remembered her saying something about thinking that they didn’t make sense and telling him that she couldn’t be with him. I also remembered clear as day when she’d stated, “But, I was so wrong.”
When I got to work Monday morning I was a prickly bitch. My hormones were through the roof, and I ached to be near Cezar, yet stubbornly, I refused to admit it, even to myself.
Cameron was working that morning and she made a face and shook her head when she saw me. “Girl, you look like something the cat dragged in. Rough weekend? Finally get that hot date?”
I took a deep breath in and tried to calm my temper before responding to her. It didn’t work. I was usually so adept at letting thing roll off my back. I didn’t like to make a fuss except, apparently, with Cezar. With him, I was all fuss and no roll off. But, today was not a good day to fuck with Cherry. Cherry wasn’t into taking shit from anyone. I’d been letting Cameron’s catty remarks slip by for years, but today I was sporting the mother of all PMS spells.
“Cameron, do me a favor.”
She smiled and nodded. “What is it?”
“Keep your opinions of my love life and my appearance to your damned self. It’s none of your damned business anyway, so shut it.” I added a syrupy sweet smile.
My ‘tude continued later when Slayer came in and lodged a formal complaint over the material in the book club. I didn’t even know we had a formal complaint system. She’d had to show me where the paperwork was. As she berated me about the quality of the writing and the vulgarity of our readings, I listened with my arms crossed over my chest, waiting. She’d have to pause at some point and then I was going to politely tell her where she could shove it.
When the moment came, I smiled at her and held up my hand to hush her. “I appreciate your concern, I do. The book club has grown tremendously since we started these readings. Everyone loves Marilyn, including your friends. At least three of them told me that they loved what we were doing here. So, I’m sorry, but if you don’t like it, I suggest you stay home and find something more suited to your tastes. Maybe a nice documentary on torture.”
Her face burned red and she scribbled a few more lines on the complaint form before shoving it at my chest. Then she waved her knobby finger in my face and I noticed for the first time that she bore an uncanny resemblance to Almira Gulch from the Wizard of Oz. I wondered why I never noticed before. “I’m going to take this job back, missy. I made a mistake thinking that you could handle it. You don’t belong here. This library is falling into a pit of hedonism with you at the helm.”
“There are no take-backs. If you want to come back, I suggest you fill out an employment application for a library aid position and I’ll file it in the stack with the others.” I used my thumb to gesture behind me indicating the waste basket.
She stormed off and from across the room, I saw Cameron’s eyes widen to saucers in surprise. I just smiled. I didn’t actually want to make enemies, I just was not in any mood to take crap from anyone.
I spent the next few hours locked away in my office so I didn’t go all Rambo on any of the library visitors.
“What’s going on with you?”
I looked up as Chyna walked in.
“Earth to my sister. Cameron said you were a ‘ragin’ Cajun’ this morning. Did something happen between you and that sexy dragon of yours?”
I covered my face with my hands and groaned. Along with a healthy dose of embarrassment was a wild, irrational anger that my sister was a threat. She’d used the word sexy. Did she find Cezar sexy?
“You okay?”
I shook my head. “I think I’m losing my shit.”
“Talk to me. I have an hour before I need to be at the diner.” She grinned. “I’m meeting a date there.”
I forced a smile and felt the anger dissipate. “Anyone I know?”
“Not a sexy dragon, unfortunately. Just a guy who works at the college with me.” She waved her hand dismissively. “Anyway, talk to me. What’s going on with your man.”
“He’s not my man.” Or was he? “I mean, I don’t think he is.”
“Honey, I saw the way he looked at you. He’s your man.”
“It’s complicated.”
“It’s complicated? What are you, a Facebook status? What’s so complicated? He tells you he wants to date you. He sends you towering piles of gifts. He gives you hot orgasms. Then, even though he clearly doesn’t want to, he backs off when you insist on needing space. What more is it gonna take for you?” She sat down on the edge of my desk and started rifling through one of the shifter books I had piled on the corner of it. “If you don’t marry him or whatever it is dragons do with their women, you really have lost your shit.”
Ugh, she had a point. He had done all those things even though I hadn’t given him an ounce of encouragement. What did I want from him? Maybe irrefutable proof that as soon as I opened my heart to him, he wouldn’t end up breaking it? Even I knew that was unreasonable to demand. I guessed I wanted what Sky had described.
“I think I need to talk to Sky.”
“What? Am I not good enough? Why, because I’m a virgin and don’t know any dragons besides your man?” She winked. “Kidding. Call her.”
I sighed. “I hate you. You know that?”
“Mm-hmm. I love you, too. Call me tomorrow.”
I watched her leave and then picked up the slip of paper with Sky’s number on it. Chyna was right. I needed some advice. I only let it ring once before I was having second thoughts. On the second ring, I was just about to hang up when she answered, out of breath. “Hello?”
“Hi. This is Cherry…Cezar’s…uh, friend.”
“Oh! Hi, Cherry! I’m so glad you called. Is everything okay?”
“Um, yes. Everything is fine. I’m sorry if I caught you at a bad time. I can call back later.”
“No, no. I was just flying with Beast. He dropped me off to go to a meeting with the others. For a bunch of dragons who say they aren’t close, they sure do meet a lot.” She sighed. “I wish you were catching me at a bad time. I don’t know if you’ve flown with Cezar yet, but it’s kind of the hottest thing ever.”
I laughed, fee
ling easier. “I can agree with you there.”
She cheered. “Hey, are you busy? You and I could do something, you know, have a meeting of our own. You could come over to our place and we could have dinner.”
“Oh, no, I wouldn’t want—”
“It’s a date.”
“No, I can—”
“I can’t wait! Our castle is only accessible by boat, so if you can meet me at the Bulcon Bay peninsula, I’ll pick you up there. You know the place?”
“Well, yeah, I know—“
“Great. I’ll see you soon!” She hung up, sounding way too happy with herself.
I grimaced. That hadn’t gone exactly as I’d hoped it would. But, on the other hand, spending time with Sky might be just what I need to get my thoughts straight. Maybe I could find some of the answers to all the questions in my head.
19
Cezar
I needed my mate at my side so much that it was becoming physically painful to be near but unable to touch her and speak to her and caress her soft skin. I’d left my position atop the roof of the library to fly to the barge to meet the other dragon males. I’d called the meeting in the hope that perhaps they might be of assistance. I only knew I needed help.
Beast landed just before me and we shifted at the same time. He looked me over and frowned. “What’s happened to you? You look like turds.”
Fire Breathing Cezar (Dragons of the Bayou Book 2) Page 9