Pure Surrender

by Aja James

  “A man with an over-developed chest? I’ve seen one of those before. Ugh…” this pronouncement was accompanied by a revolted shudder.

  “She’s got him in a choke hold! She’s gonna win!”

  Finally, Cloud turned to look at what the men were gawking at, along with quite a gathering of spectators around a makeshift combat ring of sorts.

  Because Cloud’s human form was a head taller than the average man, he didn’t even have to crane his neck to see well.

  A large…woman, yes, it seemed to be a woman, threw up her hands in victory as the crowd roared in approval after she trounced her male opponent. She pulled him to his feet while he gasped for air, his face still red from the choke she’d put him through.

  But when he regained his equilibrium, he was the one who pulled on her, yanking her down to him (because he was a foot shorter than the giant woman) for a smacking kiss.

  The crowd went wild with cheers and laughter while the woman’s face turned as red as the man’s, for an entirely different reason. Together, they exited the ring, and a new female warrior stepped up.

  The crowd immediately quieted; only whispers and murmurs could be heard, including the whispered ramblings amongst Cloud’s men.

  “Never seen hair like that before.”

  “Is it spun from gold?”

  “Now that is definitely a woman! Look at that bosom!”

  “Those legs!”

  “The eyes!”

  “She must be from that barbarian Sai clan. Horse masters, I hear. Some of the groups are women only, known for matching their fighting prowess with men. She must be one of those warriors.”

  The mutters and whispers died down when the golden goddess faced her first opponent.

  Within three moves, he lay face down in the dirt.

  And she’d beaten him bare-handed.

  Now, Cloud was really starting to pay attention. The hair and the eyes pricked something elusive in his memory, but her fighting skills made him perk up with awareness.

  The woman warrior smiled confidently and scanned around her, looking for a braver (or stupider) man to step into the ring with her. She caught the eye of a fellow Sai female and they exchanged a look that clearly conveyed their disappointment in the lack of challenge their male opponents had been presenting.

  A second man stepped in the ring with her. This one tall, broad and brawny. He pulled out his sword and muttered something to the woman in a language Cloud did not understand.

  This was another aspect he disliked about being human. Whereas in the spiritual realm, he understood all languages whether on earth or in heaven, here in the mortal realm he understood only what he learned. And there were so many things to learn! How could his tiny human brain retain all the knowledge?

  She said something back, her voice low and husky, yet still distinctly womanly. Then, she turned to her sister warrior, who was holding an array of weapons in her arms, and unsheathed her own sword.

  The golden goddess faced her opponent armed. Instead of wearing a look of concentration at the massive odds she faced, like all the onlookers wore, she grinned beatifically instead, as if she was thoroughly enjoying herself.

  The man moved first, advancing on her with bold swings and stabs with his sword.

  Cloud could tell by his movements that he was holding a little back, but when the female warrior answered his strikes with even more powerful and effortlessly graceful counterstrikes, the man redoubled his effort in earnest, no longer holding anything back.

  Which only made the golden goddess smile even brighter, as if she had been waiting for the real fight.

  Within minutes, it became clear that he was no match for her. She might be slighter and shorter, though still very tall for a woman, but she was faster and more skilled.

  Finally, after giving the man a few flesh wounds, not a single scratch on her own person, the female warrior had her opponent’s throat at the tip of her sword.

  He lost.

  He didn’t take his defeat well, and even though Cloud didn’t understand the meaning, he could guess from the vehemence of the man’s tone and the way that he spat the words out that he was cursing up a storm.

  The female warrior turned her back, going to her friend on the sidelines.

  It happened so fast, no one saw it coming.

  The man pulled a throwing knife from his boot and hurled it at the back of the female’s neck.

  Cloud was several yards away, but his reflex was the fastest. He leapt up and let fly a throwing star with enough force and velocity to intercept the knife just as it reached its target.

  The female warrior dodged both when the weapons came close enough to be felt and heard in the air, but if Cloud hadn’t thrown the knife off course, she might still have been wounded, if not dead.

  Since he had already leapt into the ring to aid her, he decided to finish the job by quickly jabbing a few strategic pressure points on the stunned man’s body, rendering him first immobile, then flat out unconscious, dropping in a deadweight heap to the ground.

  As Cloud gazed down at his handiwork, the female warrior came to stand beside him.

  A couple of men from the sidelines pulled the loser out of the ring by his legs and feet.

  At last, Cloud turned to face the woman when he heard her speak a jumble of words he couldn’t understand.

  But it didn’t matter what she said, because he doubted he would have listened. He was too mesmerized by her face to notice anything else.

  He knew that face somehow. He knew those violet-blue eyes and sunshine waves.

  A dragonfly chose that moment, while he was speechlessly awestruck, to alight on her shoulder.

  It was her.

  The girl he saw in the Mirror Pond.

  “The boy does not show any animalistic tendencies. I watch him very closely and keep a guard on him at all times, though he does not always know it. The boy seems to be like any other Dark One, but his smell is not quite right. Something other about him scares the domestic animals when he walks by. I have tried every natural stimuli I can think of to rouse the animal in him, but to no avail. Perhaps the Tiger is not his sire…”

  —From the secret journal of the Vampire Sorceress Circe

  Chapter Seven

  “He is physically sound,” Rain, the Pure Ones’ healer said.

  Ishtar released the breath she’d been holding, only to suck in another one at the healer’s next words.

  “However, he is in tremendous pain mentally and spiritually, and it is manifesting itself in physical pain, though his physical wounds both old and new have healed.”

  “B-but…” Ishtar took a shuddering breath to steady herself before continuing.

  “But why does he feel physical pain if his wounds are healed?”

  Rain took Ishtar’s hand gently and led her to a small seating area within the healing enclosure.

  Facing the other woman, the healer continued in her soft, melodious voice, “In Eastern medicine, we believe in the concept of qi, a body’s energy that is shared with all living things in the universe. It is the emotional and spiritual well-being of an individual that regulates the qi in their bodies, and that, in turn controls a body’s physical well-being.”

  Even though Rain’s voice should be soothing, as everything else about the delicate healer projected—calm, tranquility and comfort—Ishtar remained on edge. Worried out of her mind.

  Ishtar had convinced Tal to come stay at the Shield with the Dozen for some time, hoping that the company of friends would help him, and that the ready access to Rain would heal him. She hung onto Rain’s every word, hoping to get answers. Praying that Tal could somehow be healed.

  “Westerners have the saying ‘mind over matter,’” Rain continued, “It is the same idea. Because Tal’s psyche is deeply damaged, his qi is…what is the word…haywire. His energy is distorted, and his body suffers the consequences. He can feel wounds that used to be there as if they are real right now, and the phantom pain he fe
els is no less than the real pain. In fact, I believe that the mind-induced pain is worse.”

  Ishtar gulped and locked her jaw to keep her chin from quivering. She could endure any pain for herself, but when the pain was her Mate’s, she was so weak. She couldn’t stand it at all.

  She had never been a crier. She could count the number of times across the millennia of her existence that she’d shed tears. And almost every single time had been because of Tal.

  “I say mind-induced, but that is not the same as imagined or imaginary,” the healer clarified. “Tal’s pain is very real. If it were imagined, I could use my zhen to treat him, help regulate his qi and calm his mind. But it goes far deeper than that. The pain is in his very soul. I do not have the power to heal the soul. I am sorry.”

  Ishtar lost the battle trying to contain her tears; they overflowed her eyes and ran down her cheeks in twin streams, plopping off her chin in a steady drip.

  “B-but…h-how…”

  She shuddered with heartbreak even as she prayed for strength and clung on to hope.

  “T-there must be something we can do! There must be someone who can help him! What you describe is unending agony as long as he lives…if that is the case, it would be better if he—”

  Ishtar clamped her mouth shut with an audible snap.

  She refused to give voice to the words on the tip of her tongue. She refused to even think them. She hadn’t loved Tal for thousands of years, fought for him and finally Mated him to lose him now.

  She wouldn’t!

  But she also loved him too much to be selfish. She couldn’t bear to see him in so much pain. And what was worse—he was so used to it, he craved it. He hurt himself just to have it.

  But she knew that he hurt the most when he forced himself to Nourish her, when he fed her his blood and gave her his body.

  True Mates had an unbreakable mind and spiritual link that allowed each to know the other’s thoughts and feelings, see each other’s memories. There was no barrier between them. Everything—physical, mental, emotional, spiritual—was shared.

  But while Tal opened himself to telepathic dialogue, everything else he blocked from her. In the beginning, he’d shared his body readily, and she’d been euphoric and heady from his soulful loving.

  Now, he could barely stand to touch her and be touched by her. Somehow, he still interacted with others, like the healer and the rest of the Dozen, relatively normally, but any intimacy between them as Mates he avoided for as long as he could, for as long as she could endure without his Nourishment.

  As a result, she was starving too. Physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

  The millennia without him had been “better” in a way because she’d closed herself off to feelings. She’d been numbed throughout, existing but not living.

  Now that they’d been reunited, all the floodgates opened.

  She felt.

  It had been beautiful. And now it was hell.

  Rain took one of Ishtar’s hands in both her own and said, “Of course we will find a way to heal him. You must not doubt it. There is so much magic beyond my ken in this world, Ishtar. I have already spoken to Sophia and Jade. Sophia has a strong affinity to souls; she is still exploring the extent of her Gift now that she is Awakened. When she returns from abroad, hopefully with her own answers, perhaps she can harness her Gift to help heal Tal’s soul. And Jade—”

  There was a light knock on the door of the Enclosure before it opened to admit the female in question, the recently abdicated Dark Queen, now a Pure One’s Mate.

  “Ah, here she is now,” Rain said with a smile, extending a hand to Jade, who approached them quickly, sensing the extent of Ishtar’s urgency.

  “Will you share with Ishtar your assessment, Jade?” Rain prompted as soon as the other female sat down.

  “Ishtar, Jade used to be a healer too. She might have become the strongest of us all if…”

  “Well, let’s not rehash the past, as it cannot be changed, shall we?” Jade interrupted and aimed a pointed look at Rain.

  The healer pressed her lips together with a small smile.

  Jade turned to address Ishtar.

  “I always look forward, because we still have the rest of our Destiny to decide.”

  “Don’t you mean fulfill?” Ishtar frowned, momentarily distracted by Jade’s words.

  The ex-Dark Queen grinned and shook her head.

  “Nobody decides my destiny but me, ducky, and the same goes for you, Ishtar Anshar. The same goes for Tal. We are not, none of us, victims. We have suffered, certainly, but we are facing the future uncharted before us. As long as we have choice, hope, the strength of our convictions, and we never give up, there is always a way to shape destiny to our will.”

  Ishtar calmed herself and really listened.

  Even though the other female was technically “younger,” she reminded Ishtar of her mother, the most powerful Dark Queen that ever existed.

  On the other hand, Jade was stronger than her mother ever was, and that strength came from Jade’s love of her Mate, and his love of her in return. This was the “conviction” she spoke of, Ishtar knew.

  With this understanding, Ishtar felt herself grow stronger as well. Because no one across the ages, across all Kinds, loved a male as much as Ishtar did. And she knew Tal felt the same for her. She didn’t always know it. She’d doubted him and herself for a long, long time.

  But deep down, she’d felt it, even when she doubted him the most.

  The sacrifices he’d made for her, the agonies he’d endured…was still enduring…he did it all for her. To protect her. To keep her whole. She knew this unequivocally.

  Jade nodded when she saw the renewed strength and resolve blaze in Ishtar’s eyes.

  “One day at a time, Ishtar. One second at a time. We will find a way to heal your Mate. You are not alone.”

  Ishtar steeled herself and nodded back.

  She would do whatever it took. She would become as strong as Tal was. She would protect him as he’d always protected her.

  “Now listen,” Jade continued, getting to the matter at hand. “You know that my Gift harnesses sexual energy—”

  Reflexively, Ishtar emitted a primal, territorial growl as her eyes flashed purple and the edges of her form shimmered to shift.

  “Easy there, my leopard friend,” Jade said, even as Rain clutched Ishtar’s hand tighter, as if that would prevent the Great White Beast from backing down when it wanted to tear apart any female who so much as hinted trespass on her male.

  “Not suggesting I do anything remotely sexual with your Mate,” Jade hastened to explain.

  Ishtar’s growl continued unabated, but her eyes changed back to brown, and her form stopped shimmering.

  Jade quirked a corner of her lips.

  “If I was suggesting that, you’d have to get in line to tear into me, right after my own Mate.”

  The growls started to decrease in volume, but the snarl remained on Ishtar’s face, as if she couldn’t help herself.

  She was listening intently, however. And Jade could tell that she was no longer on the verge of attacking.

  “I think I can do a transference of my energy with Rain’s help,” Jade said. “I think there’s a way to lend you my Gift, so to speak.”

  Rain nodded at that and contributed, “With my zhen linking both of you, I can be a conductor of Jade’s Gift. I have attempted something similar in the past, a very long time ago. The Gift was temporarily transferred from one host to another before the original host owned it again. It depends on the Gift, the strength of both the original host and the transferee how long the ‘loan’ will last. But I think we can definitely give it a try, and I think we can make it work.”

  “With my Gift,” Jade continued, “you will be able to stimulate your Mate’s pleasure directly, and the pleasure he feels will relax his body, releasing endorphins that combat the pain. It is the mind that controls the body, but in certain types of therapy, the body
can also influence the mind. Everything has to be in balance for optimal health.”

  “This is very true,” Rain added. “You know how modern psychologists tell you to smile if you want to feel happy?”

  Ishtar shook her head. She only lived in a very small bubble of the human world. She didn’t even know what “psychologists” were.

  “I had to learn many things in medical school,” Rain explained. “Without my original healing Gift, I wanted to augment my knowledge of Eastern medicine with Western approaches as well. But the point I was trying to make is that Jade is right. All aspects of an individual need to be in balance. It’s a circuit, not a collection of individual parts. Which means that the body can also affect the mind and soul. Tal was in a vicious cycle in the past, with the suffering of his body eating away at his mind and soul, and now his damaged mind and soul are affecting his body.”

  “But if you flood his body with pleasurable endorphins,” Jade cut in, “perhaps you can break the vicious cycle and make it a virtuous one. With my Gift and your love, I think you have a chance.”

  “It will only be a temporary reprieve if it works,” Rain cautioned. “Tal still needs to be healed at the source. We will only be addressing his symptoms. And I don’t know how many times and for how long we can transfer the Gift. I have never attempted more than two or three times at most. Each time I did it, the Gift was weaker and lasted for a shorter duration with the borrower. But at least it will buy us time. At least it will give you both the strength and connection you sorely need as Mates.”

  Ishtar looked from one woman to the other and launched herself at both of them, wrapping them in her arms in a fierce, almost bone crushing hug, for the giant leopard in her couldn’t hold back.

  But neither female complained, simply squeezing her back.

  “Thank you,” Ishtar whispered fervently. “Thank you both. I want to try it right away. I want to be with my Mate.”

  Jade grinned against her shoulder.

  “Then I better get busy building up my sexual store. You know what that means, ladies. My Seth is going to be the recipient of some very erotic sexy times for the next, oh, twenty-four hours or so.”