by Aja James
For the first time, Ishtar felt everything Tal felt as if she were inside his body.
Your body refuses to obey me no matter how much venom I inject into your veins. Her hold on you is still stronger.
Ishtar gasped as her own sex clenched with a breath-stealing pain she’d never known before when Medusa grasped Tal’s manhood in an unforgiving vise and yanked him roughly, while squeezing his scrotum with her other fist.
A useless whore. A useless piece of meat, she spat. Shall I cut these off then? Perhaps see how many nerves and how much muscle I can sever before they never mend again? If I can’t have you, then no one can. She stole you from me, after all. Let’s see…It took dozens of years for your eyesight to stay dead. This might be an enlightening experiment.
Ishtar screamed in her mind when she felt a sharp dagger cut into her most vulnerable flesh.
Tal’s flesh!
Medusa was carrying out her threat.
Oh Dark Goddess! Ishtar sobbed, not knowing whether it was still in her mind or whether it was real. It felt real. So very real!
Please stop! Someone make it stop!
Ishtar flailed and thrashed, trying to escape this unholy reality. But the pain kept increasing. She couldn’t bear it anymore!
Hmm. Medusa murmured, pausing briefly in her heinous act. Perhaps I won’t cut them all the way off. I might have need of your seed, after all. I have plans for you…There’s more than one way a whore can be used, isn’t there? Just because you’re male doesn’t mean all you have to offer is your staff. How else can I remind you of your place in the world?
Ishtar’s body jerked when she felt Medusa jab a sharp-nailed finger into one of the bloody holes in Tal’s side.
Is it here? No, not here.
Another convulsion when Medusa prodded two fingers into a hole in the back of Tal’s thigh, jerking them around as she tore the wound wider.
Not here either. What other hole should I fill with my brand, my gorgeous monster? Medusa’s voice taunted.
Without warning, three fingers suddenly stabbed into Tal’s anus, making his body bow with fury and pain.
Ishtar was choking on a flood of tears by now, uncontrollably weeping. She knew there was no point in begging for the torture to end. It wouldn’t end. Tal was reliving a memory. And Ishtar knew that it was merely one of countless such memories.
She heard the sizzle of a poker being heated over a fire. She felt the sharp, searing tip of it against her own vulnerable, tender backside. And then—
Ishtar screamed and screamed and screamed.
She had no idea how long she screamed and cried at the top of her lungs, but suddenly, the door to their chambers burst open.
Rain, Valerius, Jade, Seth, Ayelet and Tristan were suddenly all there in her room, surrounding her bed, while Tal clutched her by the shoulders and shook her hard.
She opened her eyes and saw that he was saying something to her, his lips were moving. But she couldn’t hear. She could hear nothing but her own screams, ringing shrilly in her ears.
“Leave us,” Tal was saying, clutching her tightly to him, burying her tear-streaked face into his chest.
“Tal, if I could just—” Rain began, reaching out to lay a hand on Ishtar’s shoulder.
“LEAVE!” he boomed.
And so they all left, leaving Tal and Ishtar alone again.
Finally, Ishtar calmed and closed her mouth.
She stared wide-eyed at her surroundings, realizing that she was in her own body, in a bed she shared with Tal. Within the protective walls of the Shield.
She stared at the male she loved above all else with horrified, heart-broken awe.
How much of this had he endured?
Every day?
For four thousand years?!
“What did you see?” he asked brusquely, his turquoise eyes somehow penetrating even though he was blind.
She stayed mute, merely staring back at him.
He shook her slightly, unrelenting.
“Tell me what you saw, Ishtar,” he ordered, his voice raw and guttural, a muscle in his cheek ticking uncontrollably.
In that moment, Ishtar fully realized what he’d been through, everything he’d suffered and was still suffering every day, to be with her. How strong, how selfless he was, how endlessly he loved her.
Acid filled her throat as she thought of how she’d hurt him, how she’d doubted him before. How unworthy of him she was. Yet too selfish to let go.
It was unfathomable, his love. How would she ever deserve him?
And then she thought, if she could share his pain this way, if it somehow lessened his burden, if she could find a way to heal him…she had to try.
He’d never stopped protecting her. He’d stayed away to protect her from himself. From the horrors of his memories. It was her turn to protect him back.
She finally understood.
“Nothing,” she said in her calmest voice, wrapping her arms around his neck and squeezing him with her body down below, taking him deeper within her, still intimately joined.
“I saw absolutely nothing.”
“Thankfully, I had the foresight to start ‘orphanages’ all around the world, my genetic experiments centuries in the making. Even so, few have borne any usable fruit. Nevertheless, I do have some winners. Ariel Kyles is the only test tube baby that survived past the embryonic stage with both human and animal genes. Clara Scott is a human with an Element, I am sure of it. That little girl she took in… Annie, has it as well. As for the others, I know where they all are. When the time is right, they will become crucial pawns on my chessboard…”
—From the secret journal of the Vampire Sorceress Circe, added notes in the margin by an unknown hand
Chapter Fifteen
Cloud was not himself.
Aella couldn’t stop staring at him.
His hair wasn’t pulled back into a long, flowing tail like it usually was, running down his back in ordered, well-behaving tresses.
He wore his headband, but otherwise, his hair was completely loose, cascading over his shoulders and past his ass like an angry cape.
Yes, angry.
His hair looked angry.
He didn’t wear his usual requisite layers of clothes either. At least three, if Aella wasn’t mistaken. That man was always wrapped up tighter than a mummy.
Today, he wore only one sleeveless tunic stretched across his wide, muscular chest, with a deep, gaping V in the middle that he didn’t bother to button.
The opening was so low, she could see the beginning of his tight abdominals, and he sometimes flashed a gorgeous, copper, male nipple when he moved.
His nipple looked angry too.
Perhaps because she stared at it salaciously whenever she caught a peek.
Starchy nipple.
This was more skin than Aella had ever seen of Cloud. He was always covered up so prudishly, everything tucked away and hidden. Just the hint of his throat would have her panting.
And now this!
He was trying to give her a heart attack.
His trousers were rather indecent to a woman who’d been deprived for so long. They weren’t his usual loose pair, thick and shapeless enough to hide his figure.
This particular pair was loose as well, but made out of a thin, flowing material that molded to his long, strong legs and perfect stallion-esque hindquarters (and front quarters) with every step he took.
She was certain he wasn’t wearing underwear. Because she could see the shape of everything.
His lean waist and hips were emphasized by the leather belt he always wore. She almost wished he didn’t, because then his tunic would be untucked and it might be long enough to cover up his ridiculously well-developed ass and insanely well-endowed package.
But she didn’t really wish for that, no matter how stupefied she was with lust, and how savage she felt with possessiveness and jealousy.
Eveline had the same view, after all. And she sure did enjoy it too.
> “Is it just me, or does Cloud look different today?” Eveline whispered, walking closer to Aella as the three of them trekked through the cavern.
They still had miles to go, according to Cloud’s brusque report this morning when they’d shaken off last night’s troubled and uncomfortable sleep on the cold, slightly damp, cavern ground.
They’d hiked miles already. Aella really hoped they’d reach their destination soon. She was used to the open air. Being inside this hollow rock was like being buried alive.
“I think he’s trying to loosen up,” Aella muttered in response.
If he loosened up any more, he’d be naked.
Not a bad prospect at all, but not when they were in company. If Aella ever got to see Cloud naked, she sure wasn’t going to share the privilege.
“He’s very…virile like this,” Eveline noted. “I’m appreciating him in a whole new light. Perhaps I ought to adjust the description of my ideal male.”
Aella couldn’t stop the growl that vibrated from within her throat, making Eveline startle and step back from her.
“Stick to soft lips and glasses, chica, and try not to appreciate too closely,” Aella gritted out through clenched teeth.
Mine! He’s mine!
Her body language and expression practically shouted.
“Okee dokee,” Eveline conceded demurely, hiding a smile by biting her cheek.
Aella narrowed her eyes.
The Seer wasn’t as clueless as she pretended to be.
Aella lengthened her strides, gaining on Cloud ahead of them.
“Where were you last night?”
Okay, she didn’t know why the first words out of her mouth since last they spoke sounded like an accusation. It was as if she couldn’t help herself.
She wanted to rile him up. She wanted to pick a fight. She wanted him to stop ignoring what was between them and face her. Duke it out with her.
Maybe after, they could have hot makeup sex.
A woman could only hope.
And pray.
And wish, and dream.
Aella did all of these things when it came to Cloud. Now that she remembered, she wished and prayed he’d open himself up to her like she’d never done before in the past three years.
She loved him. She never stopped. He’d loved her too, once upon a time. She wouldn’t give up until she won his love again.
“None of your business,” he answered curtly, not looking at her, picking up his pace to pull farther ahead of her.
She picked up her pace too, unrelenting.
“Look, I think we should talk about this. I know—”
He turned and speared her with a furious look.
“You know nothing.”
“I know you,” she argued stubbornly. “Even though you’re in a different body now, I recognize your soul. I’d know you anywhere. You—”
He rounded on her so abruptly, she stumbled back a step.
“Just like that?” he snarled. “After three years of flirting, teasing and taunting me like you do every other man on earth, you suddenly know me?”
She hesitated.
He was really, really angry.
“I-I don’t know why I didn’t remember before. I always knew there was someone in my past. I could never recall his name, no matter how hard I tried. Though, granted, I tried mostly to bury the memory every time it surfaced.”
“Keep trying,” he growled, turning away again, walking even faster away from her.
Aella had to jog to keep up this time.
She looked behind her to see that Eveline was trailing along. The Seer waved at her to keep going, no need to worry.
So, Aella focused back on Cloud.
“Something was suppressing my memories of you,” she said.
It was mostly a suspicion, but once she’d said the words, she knew them to be true.
“But now I remember everything. Cloud, I—”
She reached out to touch his arm. He immediately yanked it away.
“Don’t touch me.”
“Cloud,” her tone had the note of pleading, but also of frustration and urgency.
She needed him to let her in. Why wouldn’t he hear her out?
“Please. Listen.”
“To what end?” he barked. “What do you hope to accomplish? I told you already, I am not who you knew. I don’t remember you. I don’t want to remember you. When my role is done here, I will leave. There is no point in creating new memories either.”
Aella was so stunned by his words, she stuttered to a halt.
“What do you mean, leave? Where will you go? What role?”
He simply shook his head and walked on.
She caught up to him again.
Honestly, she was so tired of chasing him!
But damn it! She couldn’t stop herself from doing it.
“What are you talking about, Cloud? You’re one of the Dozen. You’re family. You belong at the Shield with all of us.”
It was on the tip of her tongue to say “with me,” but she didn’t dare say it. He seemed on the precipice of a meltdown, and she didn’t wish to inadvertently push him over the edge.
As much as she wanted him to show emotion, she’d just as soon he didn’t show the unhappy emotions he’d been showing her lately when she pushed too hard. She wanted him to open up to her, not shut down completely.
“I’m not one of you,” was all he said.
Aella wanted to pull her hair out in frustration.
“Is it me? Are you thinking about leaving because of me? Please, if—”
He turned on her again and slammed a hand flat against the wall of the cave beside her head, making her gulp at his sudden closeness.
“Not everything is about you,” he growled to her face, their noses almost touching.
“There are more important things in this world than you. I don’t give a fuck about you!”
He ended on a roar, veins popping against his temple.
Aella had never seen him lose his temper so many times in such an abbreviated period.
But she was getting used to it, because she had the wherewithal to grab him by the neck while he was close and yank his head down for a marauding kiss.
Because, daayyaaammmnn!
Cloud was sizzling, dripping wet sex on steroids when he was mad!
He didn’t hesitate, immediately turning the tables on her.
He lifted her up, wrapped her legs around his hips and pounded her right into the wall, his erection hot, hard and heavy in her needy, wet notch.
She’d already soaked her pants in the split second after their mouths met, and when he ground against her with that stallion thickness and length…
Mercy!
He attacked her mouth with a vengeance, thrusting his tongue inside like they’d done this a million times, like he owned her. Like he knew every particle of her being better than she knew herself.
Because he incinerated all her nerve endings in the best possible way!
Tongue thrusting.
Lips plucking.
Teeth biting.
Large, strong hands clawed into her ass, as he undulated his lower body in time with his plundering of her mouth, setting her aflame like a lit match in gasoline.
Half of Aella was dancing in triumphant glee.
Finally! A real taste of him. And she wasn’t taking this time, though she initiated the kiss out of desperation and sexual frustration. It was either kiss him or punch him. She was raring for a good fight or an even better fuck. If they kept their tension inside much longer, they’d both implode.
He was giving it to her. What she wanted. What she craved.
Everything was soooo much better when he gave it to her.
But half of Aella felt a shiver of unease.
Cloud might be dry fucking her against a wall because his body couldn’t take her constant teasing anymore, because he needed it as much as she did.
But he didn’t want to.
He was angry.
Everything about his actions was seeped in anger.
And pain.
There was so much pain.
He was punishing her. He didn’t like her. But he wanted her all the same.
She could sense and feel the internal battle he waged. He was unraveling at the seams because of it.
“Cloud,” she broke away slightly to murmur, her lips swollen with his bruising kisses.
“Shut up,” he growled, plunging his tongue back into her mouth.
She sucked it deep, sucked it tenderly. Even though he wanted to ravish, she met his hardness with yielding softness.
Her hands tangled in his long, unbound hair. It was unbelievably silky. Smoother than her own. So thick and luxurious. It smelled of him.
She rubbed her fingers against his scalp, against the tender skin on the back of his neck. The way she would touch a wild horse to soothe it, calm it. Make it feel safe.
His kiss turned gentler, one hand moving down her thigh to hook it tighter against his hip, the other moving up her ribs to cup her breast.
“You want to fuck me, Amazon?” he rasped in that low, thunderous rumble, his brilliant blue eyes spearing into hers.
She shook her head.
“I want to love you, vadasz. Warrior. My warrior. Let me.”
His jaw clenched and flexed as a staggering pain entered his eyes, making Aella catch her breath.
“Liar,” he breathed on a broken whisper.
But before she could protest, he silenced her with another kiss.
This one desperate with longing. He lapped into her mouth slowly, deeply, as if he treasured her, as if every time he entered, he loathed to leave.
His hand kneaded her breast gently, his thumb brushing back and forth across her pebbled nipple, making her body hum for him, making her core clench around emptiness that only he could fill.
He left her mouth to kiss a trail along her jaw.
So tenderly, Aella was lulled into a false sense of calm.
“You always get what you want, don’t you?” he whispered against her skin. “Every man falls at your feet to worship you.”
Aella was nearly beside herself with need and pleasure. She barely registered the cutting edge of his words; she only heard his soothing tone.