“What is it?” Jasik asks. Slowly, he walks toward me.
“Do you see them?” I ask. I can’t look away. I worry if I do, they’ll disappear.
Jasik doesn’t answer. Instead, he turns on the bedroom light, and a blinding flash illuminates the room.
But the moment the shadows retreat, the marks are gone. Still, I can’t help but feel like they really were there, and if they were, my dream wasn’t simply a nightmare.
It was a warning.
Chapter Six
The basement training quarters are suffocating. The room itself is airy and large, with cushiony mat floors, a wall of mirrors, and a long table housing various weapons to wield. But there’s something stagnant in the air. The smell of impending doom is formidable, and it tastes like raw sewage.
Today, I wear a breezy two-piece. The spandex shorts and sports bra allow me to watch the way my body moves during training. I’m convinced there is a connection between my vampire senses and the magic inside me, but today I’m distracted. I can’t focus long enough to dodge Malik’s attacks, and his frustration is evident. He’s already chastised me once. I can see he’s again at his boiling point.
“Ava, I know you’re upset about Amicia’s decision, but you need to focus.”
I frown, looking up at him from where I lie on the floor. The mats are soft beneath me, and I burrow my elbows into the mush, pretending I can escape this place and Malik’s accusations.
He stares at me, a funny grimace on his usually pristine face. “What is it?”
“I’m not upset with Amicia because of her decision. I understand why she doesn’t want to help the witches.” I grunt as I shuffle to my feet, dusting off my thighs instinctively. My hands are slick from my exertion. Malik certainly isn’t holding back today.
“Then what’s the problem? Our sessions are useless if you can’t focus,” Malik asks. His eyes are hard, his tone sharp, but I know he’s not mad at me.
How can I answer this question? Sure, Amicia’s decision bothered me, but that’s not why I’m distracted. I can’t stop thinking about my dream, wondering if my blood promise to Amicia is why I now have a dark shadow cast over me. There is no doubt in my mind that last night’s nightmare is somehow connected to what we did.
The gnawing sensation in the pit of my gut is telling me to confide in Malik, even though I’m overwhelmed by sheer terror at the thought of betraying Amicia’s confidence. She never explicitly stated not to tell anyone about the oath, but I’m pretty sure it was implied. Everything about it felt…wrong. That usually means I’m supposed to keep my lips sealed.
“We don’t have a lot of time, Ava. Holland will be here soon to begin your magic training,” Malik says, eyeing the clock on the wall.
My heart leaps at the thought of training with Holland. Today, we’re focusing on calling the elements—something I used to do so easily when I was just a witch. I haven’t tried to summon my magic that way since I turned, and I’m honestly not sure it will work. But the itching feeling crawling across my skin comes with a burning realization: I need to protect myself from whatever is coming. I woke with the stark realization that last night’s nightmare was a warning, and I won’t sit idly by while my life crumbles around me. It’s time I fight back.
“I’m glad training with Holland brings you such joy,” Malik says, voice deadpan.
My smile falls. “I’m sorry… You know I enjoy our sessions too, right?”
“Just tell me what’s on your mind,” he continues, waving away my concern.
“It’s—It’s probably nothing,” I say, trying to convince myself more than Malik.
I want to tell him, but I’m suddenly struck with the notion that telling my trainer before I tell my sire could prove problematic. Even so, it feels easier to admit wrongdoing to Malik than to Jasik. He’s like the older brother I never had and didn’t know I wanted. Things with Jasik are complicated. One minute, I want to shout at him to kiss me already, and the next, we’re fighting about ridiculous things. I definitely have better control over my emotions when I’m not in the same room as my sire.
“Great. That’s exactly the kind of thing I want so overly distracting—absolutely nothing important.” Once again, he feigns annoyance with me. I know Malik takes training seriously, but this might be a bit much. After all, do I even need combat training anymore? I’m pretty sure my rogue tally is much higher than anyone else’s this week.
I chew on my lower lip, wincing when I nibble on raw flesh. I gather the strength to explain what happened when Amicia forced the vampires out of the house during our meeting. I inhale slowly, deeply, and exhale just the same. With each passing second, my muscles unclench. I stand straighter, taller, more confidently. And I know it’s time.
“It’s just…” I begin.
“Yes?” Malik arches a brow, both amused and concerned with my hesitation.
I sigh. “Amicia forced me to make a blood oath with her.” I spit out my words so quickly, they jumble together, but based on Malik’s immediate reaction, I know he understood me just fine.
Every fiber of his body stiffens as my words settle over him. His eyes widen with shock, and his hands ball into hard fists at his sides. If it were possible, I would believe time actually slowed as he processed my words. He stares at me, unmoving and unblinking, like a monster on the brink of attack. He’s looking at me, but I’m not so sure he sees me. His gaze is lost. But is he lost with my words, or has his mind been transported to another place completely?
“Malik?” I speak softly, hoping I don’t jar him back to reality too harshly.
He blinks several times, his vision focusing on me again.
“She asked you to make a dark promise?” he asks, clarifying what I said earlier.
I nod. “She did.”
“She shouldn’t have forced you to do that.” Malik’s voice is hard and low, and I shiver. The coolness of his words settles into my bones, and I’m unsure I’ll ever be able to shake the ice that now forms there. I wrap my arms around my chest, hoping to hold myself, to keep myself still, to keep my body warm.
Before I can muster the courage to ask him why this is so bad, Holland enters. With my back to the door, I don’t see him, but I hear his approach. He whistles as he walks, a happy skip in his step.
Until it’s gone.
The sudden halt of his stride is startling. I rush around, facing him. He eyes us curiously, unsure of how to proceed. His gaze scans my frame before darting to Malik.
“We were just finished here,” Malik says. He sidesteps me and exits the room before I can beg him to stay, to tell me what this means.
Why is Malik so concerned with the dark promise I made?
What did Amicia make me do?
With Malik gone, the air in the room is heavy. I can’t handle the accusations in Holland’s eyes, so I turn away.
“What was that about?” Holland asks, but I’m already moving away from him.
“It was nothing,” I say. Malik’s immediate and tense reaction forces me to lie to Holland. I hate that the words spill so easily from my mouth. I don’t want to lie to him—or to anyone, for that matter—but that uneasy sensation building in my stomach has me convinced I’ll become quite good at lying by the end of the day.
“Is something going on between you two?” Holland asks.
His accusation halts me. I spin to face him, hoping the shock on my face is as evident as it is in my heart.
“Are you seriously asking me that?” I ask. Surprised by his words, I try to consider how things must appear to Holland as a bystander.
Holland shrugs. “This isn’t the first time I’ve clearly interrupted something.” His voice is emotionless, but his eyes silently judge me.
“Of course not. Malik is like a brother to me.”
“Well, Malik is a brother to Jasik, so keep that in mind,” he says, arms crossed.
“Holland, there is nothing happening here. I don’t know what you think you saw, but Malik is just my
trainer. He’s a friend—nothing more.”
I hope I don’t look as tense as I feel. The last thing I want is for rumors to spread. I’m certain Jasik won’t believe them, but things could get awkward between us. The other vampires won’t take kindly to any rumblings of a tryst either.
“But you don’t want to tell me what you were talking about?” Holland continues. “And why exactly did Malik rush out so quickly?”
“Training was over,” I say.
He arches a brow, clearly not impressed with my explanation.
I sigh and opt for honesty. “Malik is concerned about something that happened between Amicia and me. It’s nothing for you to worry about, okay?”
Holland relaxes, his arms dangling at his sides. He frowns and says, “Is everything all right?”
“It will be,” I say, feigning confidence.
I give him my best smile—the one that’s supposed to get me out of even the worst jams. He must accept it, because after several long seconds, he nods and changes the subject.
“So are you ready to summon the elements?” He smiles brightly, showing all of his polished, white teeth. He wiggles his brows, overly excited to test my limits once again. I wish I could fake such enthusiasm.
“I suppose…”
“What’s the matter? Don’t you want to see if you can?”
I nod. “I do, but… I’m just nervous.”
And I have a lot on my mind right now.
“Don’t worry about anything. I’m here. I’ll reel you back in if it gets bad.” Holland’s voice is soft but confident. And I believe him.
“Just…don’t let it get to that point, okay?”
He smiles. “Promise.”
The silent hum of the house threatens to lull me to sleep. The soft patter of footsteps overhead reminds me that I’m not alone, even though the darkness of the room makes me feel like I am. With the lights off and without even a sliver of light to help illuminate the room, I can’t see Holland. I hear him, though. I mimic his slow, deep inhalations and exaggerated exhalations. His breathing is comforting and eases my inner turmoil.
My arms are heavy. They rest atop my lap. I’m sitting cross-legged on the soft mat floor. My body sinks into it, the cushion giving way to my weight. I wiggle my toes and curl my fingers. Whenever I feel like I might drift away, I do this. It helps to ground my senses.
I breathe in deeply, slowly, until my lungs ache at the pressure, and then I exhale, releasing the tension in my shoulders.
I don’t know how long we’ve been sitting here like this, but I know it’s been far too long. It feels like days have stretched before us while we’ve secluded ourselves in this small space away from vampires and light.
Of course, I know this isn’t true. It probably hasn’t been even thirty minutes. That’s the beauty of meditation. It allows me to escape this place, to release the negative energy even though I’m still securely planted in the midst of it.
The steady thump of my heart echoes in my mind. I envision the muscle pumping blood through my body, providing the fuel my magic needs.
I focus on that power. It swirls inside me, a bright, burning ball of shimmery, iridescent magic.
I tug at it, and it gives way to me. Slowly, it creeps from the depths of my soul and coats my skin, seeping out of my pores. It illuminates the room, sending a burst of light to every corner. A glistening sheen settles among us. Holland stares back at me, and I’m certain the excitement in his eyes matches my own.
I’m smiling so sincerely, it actually hurts my cheeks. A rush of giggles escapes my throat, and I don’t try to push it down. I can’t contain my excitement or the giddy feeling washing over me when I allow the magic inside to consume my entire body. I feel warm everywhere. No longer do I feel like I control the magic. All at once, I become the energy encased within it. With magic flowing all around me, it wraps around my body, covering me, protecting me, revitalizing me.
“I wish you could see it, Ava,” Holland whispers. His eyes sparkle, and his hands are shaking.
I risk a peek at the wall of mirrors to my side, straining my neck until I can see what mesmerizes Holland.
The rush of energy all around me gives the glow of a physical appearance. It swirls and sparkles all around me, never straying too far. It illuminates the entire room and glimmers off my pale skin. I’m shiny and slick, strong and elated.
“Do you think you can summon a fireball?” Holland asks.
I face him, a sudden rush of nerves overpowering my initial excitement at practicing magic.
I swallow the knot in my throat and nod. “I’ll try.”
Closing my eyes, I focus on the fire element. I envision its strength and heat, its fury and dominance. As one of the strongest elements, it takes a powerful witch to maintain control over the element—and I imagine there is no stronger witch than one with the blood of a vampire.
Gnawing on my lower lip, I silently call to the element. I speak to it in my mind and in my heart, calling its name like I used to when I didn’t survive on an all-liquid diet.
“Incendia.”
The Latin word for fire rolls off my tongue with ease. It’s familiar and makes me homesick. The feeling passes quickly, but it was there nonetheless. It leaves an emptiness—one I fear I’ll never shake. The hollowness where my devotion to my coven once resided is a startling reminder that I can no longer rely on Mamá for guidance. If I want to control my magic, I need to learn to do so on my own.
I wait for the fire to thicken, but it doesn’t. The air around me doesn’t grow hot; my skin is not moist. There is no mist, no heat, no fire. There is only magic, and it coats my skin so tightly, I’m not sure where it ends and I begin.
I open my eyes, letting the vision of Holland before me blur.
“Incendia,” I say again. My voice is soft, but my intention is powerful.
Still, nothing happens.
Defeated, I sigh, slouching over, relinquishing my hold on my magic. It dissipates, escaping back into my body, nestling itself inside. I sink into my hands, staring at the floor.
“Don’t give up, Ava,” Holland says. He shimmies toward me and rests his hand atop my own.
I look up at him. “I don’t think this is going to work,” I admit.
“Well, it won’t with that attitude,” he says pointedly.
I shake my head. “This just doesn’t feel the same. This magic, whatever it is, feels different. It doesn’t feel like one singular element.”
Holland sits back, resting on his palms. With his arms outstretched behind him, he eyes me curiously, a funny look on his face. He’s deep in thought, contemplating my predicament just like I should be.
“Maybe it isn’t,” Holland says.
“Isn’t what?” I ask.
“Just one element.”
Chapter Seven
I kick the snow at my feet, thinking about Holland’s words. I should be focusing on patrolling the woods, especially since I’m hunting alone tonight. But I can’t. Even the sounds of the forest have fallen mute. All I can hear are his words, and they loop endlessly in my mind.
Maybe it’s not just one element.
I suppose that makes sense. After all, a spirit witch has access to all five elements, and maybe this magic is a culmination of them all. But what does that mean? What kind of power is that? What happens when all five elements blend into one power? Is this what happens when spirit becomes physical?
I sigh. There’s still so much I don’t know, don’t understand. Will I ever have a handle on this new life? It seems like answers come with more questions.
I scan my surroundings, hoping to find a reasonable distraction, but the woods are devoid of life. It seems I’m the only restless soul out tonight.
I imagine the rest of Darkhaven is already lost in a deep sleep, and with the sun soon to rise, the vampires are finding their way home. I wasted too much time training with Malik and calling my magic with Holland. I should have hunted the moment the sun set. We’ve spe
nt far too many hours pretending I’ll get a handle on this, and I’m still no closer to understanding what’s happening to me. Even though I try to convince myself otherwise, I feel like a lost cause.
I shake away the thought and reach for my cross necklace. It’s cool to my touch. The silver metal sparkles, shimmering against my pale skin. I tuck it beneath my shirt, shivering as it cascades against my collarbone. Though I’m elated to know I can once again wear this cross, I know it comes at a price. To be worthy of its protection, I forfeited the one tool that gave me the confidence to vanquish whatever demons come my way.
I feel empty without my stake. It wasn’t simply a weapon; it was an extension of my soul. Bound together with my magic, the silver metal tore through the flesh of my enemies. With it by my side, I never feared what lurked in the shadows. Now I’m surrounded by darkness, ever searching for my stake’s guiding light.
I find myself walking closer to my former coven and farther from my new home. The vampires are busying themselves with their daily lives, and even without stalking them, I know the witches are struggling to find Liv. Stuck in the middle, I seem to be the only one out of place. I’m seeking guidance and finding silence.
Everyone has a plan, a place. Amicia says jump, and the vampires ask how high. She says we will not help the witches, and the vampires don’t object. Meanwhile, I’m haunted so severely by my decision to forsake the witches, my regret is seeping into my dreams. I’m having nightmares that feel so real, I almost believe I should warn the others about the vampire I met.
I’ve been restless since I woke, a dark, ominous cloud hanging over me, threatening to clench the very life from my chest. The clouds hang low in the sky tonight, making it almost impossible to see clearly.
The air is heavy with mist, and it’s snowing softly. The tiny, crystallized droplets are almost too small to see. They’re more of an annoyance than anything else. The flakes cluster to my eyelashes and cling to my loose hair. I push away strands that have caked around my eyes and try to shake the feeling that I’m being watched.
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