by Claire Adams
I reached behind to the back of my dress and undid my zipper. Then slowly and deliberately, I pulled the dress down off my shoulders and pushed it down from my waist until I was standing before him in nothing but my black lace bra and panties. His eyes caressed my body, looking over every curve and every line as though he were an artist studying his canvas. I reached up to unhook my bra.
“Don’t,” Tristan said, and my hand froze over the hook.
For a second, I thought he was going to hand me my dress and walk away. But instead, he approached me slowly until his face was only inches from mine. Then he put his arms around me and unhooked my bra himself.
He pulled it off and gazed down at my breasts. One hand reached out tentatively, and he cupped my right breast in his hand before circling the nipple. I felt a moan on my lips, but I suppressed it.
He pulled me towards him so that my breasts were pressed up against his chest. Then he started kissing me again as his hands snaked down my body. As the kiss grew deeper and more desperate, I felt Tristan hook a finger around the thin strap of my underwear and yank it hard, pulling it free from my skin. Moisture pooled between my legs at the gesture, and my knees went weak.
We fell back onto my bed, with Tristan lying on top of me. His weight was comforting as I clung to him, wondering what it would feel like when he was inside me. He seemed to be thinking the same thing because he started stripping.
I reached up and helped him pull his shirt off. Once his pants were off, I could feel how hard he was already. I reached down and encircled his cock with my hand. He gave a little sigh, and I squeezed a little harder. I saw his mouth turn into a circle of pleasure, so I started moving my hand up and down the length of him.
His cock was so huge that had he been any other man, I might have been a little scared. Had he been anyone else, I might have thought twice about this.
But I was past feeling scared or nervous or worried. I was past self-consciousness and awkwardness. This was no daydream, and I didn’t want to waste this moment by getting inside my own head.
I could feel his hands between my legs, getting me ready and I started to feel the confession rise to my lips. No, I thought, I can’t tell him. But my thoughts could not be quelled. I knew I had to tell him if I wanted to continue.
He was breathing deeply. His hands were raking over my body, and his lips were on my neck, my breasts, and my stomach. I could sense the urgency of his desire and knew he was ready to enter me. I could just feel the tip of his penis between my legs when I blurted out the secret I had held close to heart since my adolescence.
“I’m a virgin.”
I knew he hadn’t heard me. He was too turned on, too intoxicated by the moment, but I needed him to know before it happened. I didn’t know why it was important to me, it just was.
“Tristan,” I whispered again, and this time he looked up at me.
“Yes?” His voice was gravelly.
“I’m a virgin.”
His expression didn’t change, but I thought I noticed a flicker of something in his eyes. “That…can’t be,” he said at last.
“It’s true,” I confirmed.
“Why are you telling me this?”
“Because I want you to know,” I said simply. “I wanted to be truthful.”
“Should we be doing this?” he asked. I could feel his body tremble against mine.
“Yes,” I said, with certainty. “We should.”
“But—”
“I want you,” I said. “Do you want me?”
“Yes,” he said, and his voice trembled with desire.
“Then that’s all that matters,” I insisted. “I want you inside me. I want you inside me now.”
He hesitated for only a second before pushing himself inside me. I gasped out loud, clinging to his body to try to tame the torrent of emotions that assaulted my body. I had never experienced anything quite so powerful. I could feel beautiful emotions, but just underneath there was a tiny web of pain that interweaved through the desire. After only a few seconds, however, it passed and was replaced by a new wave of need.
I could feel his cock inside me, pushing deep in before pulling back out again. If I had been scared that he was too big, all my fear turned to delight when I realized I could handle it. Not only could I handle it, it was the most satisfying feeling I had ever experienced.
Tristan moved slowly at first, giving me time to adjust to all the new feelings being catapulted at me. And then suddenly, almost without warning, he started pumping me hard until my whole body was shaking and grating against the sheets.
And after several minutes, I started to notice a strange build up. I started feeling everything more intensely; I started becoming aware of new things. There were layers of different sensations, and they started piling on top of one another. There was ecstasy, satisfaction, comfort, harmony, desire, passion, and carnal need. I had never felt so alive, nor had I ever felt so connected to my body.
From the simplest form of pleasure, which was the feel of his naked skin against mine, to the most complex, which was beyond me to even try and explain, I could feel the layers of pleasure start to unfold. So this was what people craved… This hopeless, intoxicating, animalistic culmination of sexual pleasure.
As the orgasm hit me, I kept seeing images of the ocean in my head. Perhaps it was where we were, perhaps it was just the natural association in my head, but I just kept seeing waves that reached the sky, crashing against the shores that never ended.
As Tristan relaxed onto my body afterward, I kissed his neck and licked the tiny droplets of sweat off his skin with my tongue. His body shuddered at my touch, but I continued until he was grabbing me and pressing me as close to him as it was possible to get. We lay next to each other and stared into one another’s eyes for what seemed like an eternity. He didn’t speak, and I didn’t either. There was nothing we could have said at the moment that would have eclipsed what had just happened between us.
So we lay there on our sides, facing one another, memorizing each other’s faces and trying to freeze the moment and commit it to memory so that we would never lose it to time. From time to time, Tristan would reach out and touch my face gently. His expression was unreadable, but I didn’t trouble myself with what he might be thinking.
Keep this night perfect, I told myself, and deal with tomorrow’s problems tomorrow. Once our bodies had cooled down, I started feeling new desire replaced the old. I moved closer to him and placed my hand around his cock. I massaged him until he was hard again, and then we fucked once more.
It was different the second time around. It was more than just carnal desire. It was more than just physical lust. It was validation. It was hope. It was the dream I’d been chasing since I was fourteen.
Chapter Seventeen
Tristan
Molly was still sleeping when I snuck out of bed. I tiptoed around the bed where my clothes were lying in a scattered heap on the floor. I dressed quickly, hoping she wouldn’t wake up and catch me. The moment I had my pants on, I decided to slip out into the living room and finish dressing in there, but I found myself pausing over Molly’s sleeping form.
She was lying on her stomach with her face pressed to the side. The sheets were draped over the lower half of her body so that I could see the smooth curve of her back. Golden curls snaked across her naked skin and half of the pillow, and the part of her face that I could see looked peaceful and content. I resisted the urge to touch her. As lovely as she looked, I knew that the magic of the night before had been replaced by cold, hard reality.
I tiptoed out and finished dressing in the living room. I knew I shouldn’t be leaving like this, Molly deserved better, but I didn’t want to have to face a conversation. She would want to know where we stood, and I had no idea what to tell her. My life was fast-paced, my job was demanding, and I didn’t know when I would have the time to devote to her. I tried not to think about Jason as I slipped out of the suite.
I decided to head strai
ght to my office in an attempt to distract myself with work. But somehow, I knew that no matter how busy I got, I would have a hard time avoiding thinking about Molly and what had happened between us last night.
I remembered more than I had expected to after drinking so much. I remembered how she had stood before me, proud and intoxicatingly feminine as she had undressed without any sense of self-consciousness. I remembered the way her mouth had tasted when I kissed her. I remembered the way it had felt to have her naked body pressed against mine. I remembered the moment she had told me her secret.
“Fuck,” I whispered under my breath.
I should have stopped it then. But the alcohol had put my better judgment on hold. That and the fact that I was already horny and too turned on to have stopped myself at that point. When I walked into my office, Ben was already there, leafing through files that had been piled high on top of my desk.
“Morning,” I said brusquely.
“Morning,” he replied. “You look like you need a cup of coffee.”
I ignored that and sat down behind my desk. “What have you got for me?”
“A couple of disputes that need settling.”
“Fuck. Who is it this time?”
“Tycho and Chan.”
“They have separate fucking kitchens,” I complained. “What is there to fight about?”
“Something to do with the produce man,” Ben explained. “Apparently, they both ordered the same ingredients, and now they’re fighting over who gets what.”
I groaned. “Can’t you handle it?”
“They want to speak to you,” he said with a shrug.
“Tell them I told you to handle it.”
“Don’t you think I’ve already done that?” he asked. “I’m not the boss, and they know that.”
“Don’t we have someone specific who can handle this?”
“You still haven’t hired a human resources manager yet,” he told me.
“Fuck,” I said, remembering that I had all but promised the job to Molly. I put my head in my hands and cursed at my own short-sighted behavior. “This morning sucks,” I complained.
“Does your bad mood have something to do with the fact that you’re wearing the same clothes from last night?”
I looked down at my untucked white shirt and my blue suit. “Maybe,” I admitted at last.
I looked up at Ben, contemplating how much to tell him. He was my assistant, and even though I considered him a friend, our friendship didn’t really extend to personal conversations about our lives. It was strictly business. But I was realizing that I didn’t have very many people I could talk to.
Jason was definitely off limits in this particular situation and given Gregory’s history with Molly, I didn’t want to go to him, either.
“Have you ever slept with a virgin?” I blurted out before I could stop myself.
Ben’s eyebrows rose high on his forehead. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me,” I said, unwilling to repeat myself.
“Uh…sure,” he nodded after a moment. “Except that I was a virgin, too, and we were seventeen.”
I sighed. “It hasn’t happened recently then?”
Ben looked a little concerned. “Please don’t tell me you slept with a minor?”
“What? Of course not,” I said quickly. “She’s an adult who happens to be a virgin.”
“How much of an adult?” he asked curiously.
“Twenty-four.”
He looked surprised. “Huh… I didn’t expect that. Molly looks like she’s had experience.”
“What makes you think I’m talking about Molly?”
“Your defensiveness,” Ben smirked. “That and the fact that I saw you follow her out of the party last night.”
“Fuck.”
“Had a good time?”
“Shut up,” I said childishly.
“I knew it was only a matter of time.”
“This is serious,” I snapped. “She’s my best friend’s sister and a virgin, besides.”
“Why is that such a big problem?” he asked.
“Because… What if she gets attached?” I said, feeling like a complete asshole.
“And that would be bad because…”
“I don’t have time for a relationship right now,” I said firmly. “I don’t have time for a woman—any woman—even Molly.”
“Then you better tell her that.”
“After I’ve slept with her?”
He shrugged. “What choice do you have?”
“I promised her a job, too,” I groaned, hitting my head with the palm of my hand.
“What?” he asked incredulously.
“The human resources job,” I said. “That was Molly’s position before she was laid off, and she was really good at her job. I offered her the post here if she liked Hawaii enough to stay. I mentioned it to Jason, as well.”
“You knew all this, and you slept with her, anyway?” I could sense the judgment in Ben’s tone.
“Give me a break, okay?” I said, knowing I deserved the condescension. “I was drunk.”
He raised his eyebrows. “You weren’t that drunk.”
“Drunk enough,” I said, trying to justify my poor decision making.
“I’m sure Molly will take that excuse well,” Ben said sarcastically.
I sighed. “I should have just stayed away from her,” I groaned. “Why didn’t I just walk away when I saw her last night?”
“Can I ask you a personal question?”
“We’re past the point of personal now, man,” I pointed out. “What’s the question?”
“How do you feel about Molly?” Ben asked curiously.
I paused for a moment. “She’s… Well… I like her. I’ve always liked Molly.”
“That doesn’t say very much,” he said. “I’m asking you what your feelings towards her are?”
I sat back in my chair, feeling a headache come on. It felt like there was a throbbing at the back of my head. “It’s complicated,” I said at last. “I’ve known Molly since I was eighteen and she was fourteen. In some ways, I’ve watched her grow up.”
“She’s not fourteen anymore,” Ben pointed out. “Why are you so hung up on the girl she used to be?”
“It’s not that,” I said, shaking my head. “It’s me… I’m not sure I’m the kind of guy who can commit to one woman. And even if I could, I have no idea how I’d be in a relationship. I’m more likely to ignore her after the first few months. I just don’t want to attempt something I know I’m not going to be good at…not with Molly.”
“So you’re trying to protect her from yourself?”
“Yes,” I said. “She’s special, and I don’t want to hurt her. And not just because of Jason. Because she’s a good person, she’s a kind person, and she deserves to be happy.”
Ben looked at me carefully for a while. “I feel like there’s history between you two.”
I bit my lip. “I wouldn’t call it history,” I clarified. “But we did kiss one night six years ago.”
“And, have you thought about that kiss in the past six years?”
“More often than you would believe,” I admitted.
He raised an eyebrow. “I think that means something.”
“It means I’ve idealized the whole thing,” I said. “That kiss was a mistake, just like last night was a mistake.”
“You’re saying it wasn’t any good?”
“Please,” I scoffed. “The sex was amazing…probably the best sex I’ve ever had, actually. That’s not what I’m talking about. I’m saying that crossing that line with Molly was a mistake. We should have just stayed friends.”
“I wasn’t aware you were friends with Molly.”
“What do you mean?”
“Come on,” he laughed. “She’s been here more than two weeks, and you’ve barely spoken to her. You haven’t even had a meal with her. Apart from that one conversation the day she arrived, when did you make the attempt to welcome he
r to your resort?”
“I was busy,” I said.
“Wouldn’t you have carved out the time for Jason?”
“Yes…”
“But not for Molly?”
“Molly’s different,” I said lamely.
“Molly’s different because you want to sleep with her,” he said bluntly. “Which is not a problem you face with Jason.”
I wanted to deny it, but even I couldn’t make myself lie that blatantly. “If you have a point, I suggest you get to it fast.”
“You’ve been wanting to sleep with Molly for years,” Ben said. “Probably since that first kiss, probably since before that kiss. When she showed up here, older and more confident, you were immediately attracted to her, so you decided to keep your distance. Except you didn’t do a great job of staying away from her. So you finally slept with her after years of thinking about it. I guess my question is, is the interest in Molly gone now? Was she just an itch that needed to be scratched?”
I had never considered that before. I thought about it, but my mind couldn’t seem to settle. Was that the real reason I had snuck out of Molly’s suite this morning? Was protecting her just an excuse, or was it the more convenient way out? At this moment, I wasn’t quite sure.
“Have you ever been in love?” I asked abruptly.
“Once,” Ben replied promptly.
“And did you know right away?”
“Of course not,” he replied. “Sometimes it’s not as simple as just looking at someone and knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that you love them. Sometimes it creeps up on you. Sometimes it takes you years to figure out. I was in my senior year of college when I realized I was in love with my best friend. We had known each other since high school.”
“Did you tell her how you felt?”
“I told him,” Ben nodded.
I raised my eyebrows. “I’m sorry, you’re gay?”
He smiled wryly. “Have been all my life,” he nodded.
“Fuck, how did I not know that?” I said. “You’ve been my assistant for years now.”