by Dora Hiers
“I—”
Apparently, she wasn’t finished with her tirade because she stalked a path in front of him, her boots kicking up dried leaves that crinkled under angry footsteps. Finally, she came back and plopped down on the bench with a huff. “Her dad? Fat chance. I don’t want him anywhere near her. Not until he proves that Violet would be safe around him. But it’s not like he’s ever even tried to meet her.” Her chest heaved with a frustrated sigh.
He curled his arm around her shoulder and waited for her to unleash it all. She probably never had.
“Okay. I’m done.” She huffed, her arms folded across her chest, her posture rigid and tense.
“I don’t think you are.” His gut told him that she wasn’t. “Something else is bothering you. Spill.”
He tucked that long fringe of hair behind an ear. Cringed at the purple hollows under her red and swollen eyes.
She tucked her bottom lip under her teeth, as if debating whether to tell him or not.
“Sierra…”
“I might not have a job when I get home,” she blurted out.
“What?” It was his turn to be shocked. He reared back and then lurched to his feet. That was the last thing he’d expected her to say. Sure, he knew about the budget cuts, but her job? Not happening.
“Daniel called right before dinner. Said he’d been crunching numbers all afternoon and that he couldn’t see any way out of it.”
So that’s what had made her so upset! Now he was the one wearing out a path in front of the fire pit. Anger simmered in his gut, and the fiery flames from the fire ring felt as if they reached out and licked his skin. He could feel the fury burning, working its way up to his throat. He wanted to roar into the darkness like a bear protecting her cubs. Not that he felt anything maternal or paternal toward Sierra. But his protective nature wouldn’t, couldn’t, take this sitting down.
How could the city council members vote to reject the moderate tax hike when they had already cut their staff to the bare bones for several years now? Couldn’t they see that they were barely limping along? But then Buddy was on his way out, and he hadn’t stood up to them, hadn’t voiced his opinion on the long and short term consequences of their decision.
But even harder to stomach was how Daniel treated a long-time city employee, and not just because she also happened to be the woman he loved. How could a manager call one of his employees, miles away in the midst of doing her job, to tell her she might not have one when she returned home? How could the guy do that?
Camdon had half a mind to call Daniel and warn the man that his job was on the chopping block, but he wouldn’t do that. He rammed fingers through his hair, thinking through this. He could have his assistant email the budget for Parks and Rec so he could start looking at some numbers himself before they headed back. Or he could rent a car and head back early.
But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. He’d read the passage from Matthew just this morning.
Lord, I know You love Sierra even more than I do. You have this situation under control. Show her the simple truth of Your words, of Your love and mine.
Halting his pacing, his gaze drifted over to where Sierra’s head dipped to her chest, worry crinkling her brow.
He couldn’t head back home early and leave Sierra alone and scared, worried about her job, her future, her little family. He didn’t want to be another man on the long list of those who’d abandoned her. He wanted to be here for her, to comfort her, to stand by her side. He’d prayed about their relationship for a long time. He knew this was where he was meant to be. With her, not behind his desk crunching numbers.
He. Would. Not. Leave. Her.
He knelt with one knee against the frigid ground, the dampness soaking through his jeans, but he didn’t care. He nudged her chin up. “Hey.”
Her sad countenance lifted to connect with his, but she still managed a smile. Wishing there was something he could do to make that smile genuine, he covered her smooth hands with his and forced an even, confident tone in his voice. “With God’s help, we’ll get through this. We’ll figure out something.”
She angled her head in that cute way that was only Sierra.
“God carried you through the raging river before, prompted your grandma to open her home to you when you needed one the most. He can do it again.” Camdon knew it to be so, but did Sierra?
“Do you think so, Camdon? Why do you think he cares about me?”
“You can’t judge Him by your earthly parents, sweetheart. He loves you. Much more than you can imagine.” Even more than I love you.
Sometimes Camdon had a tough time grasping how deep God’s love ran, but he knew it did. Wider and deeper, and infinitely greater than his comprehension. But, all it took was one trip down memory lane for him to recognize that God had been traveling this long road with him all along, too.
“And He knows what you need, just like He knew you needed Wilma all these years. But He’s the one you should depend on, Sierra. Not Wilma. Not your stepdad or your mom or even me. We’ll all let you down at some point, not necessarily on purpose, but He never will. You can count on Him.”
Her head bobbed as she seemed to soak in his words. But did she accept them as truth?
****
Strangely, the conviction in Camdon’s tone comforted her.
Sierra knew he was right. Either Wilma would eventually remarry, or she’d want her house back to herself at some point. And then where would Sierra and Violet be? Full circle when she’d shown up on Wilma’s doorstep that miserable gloomy and rainy night, pregnant and beaten and so alone.
No. She couldn’t depend on Wilma. Just like she couldn’t depend on Daniel sparing her job. Or for Camdon to always be around, wrapping her in a hug or offering an encouraging smile or a helping hand around the house. What would happen when he married? Surely, his wife wouldn’t encourage their friendship or appreciate the large chunks of time they spent together. Of that, she was certain.
The pain in her heart was as severe as if someone plunged a knife through her skin and twisted it repeatedly. She sucked in a breath and jumped to her feet, hugging herself, her limbs teetering with the mere thought. She sniffled. She couldn’t picture her life without Camdon in it.
But had God been there all along? Was He the answer?
God, is what Camdon says true? Do You love me? Can I trust You to help me take care of my daughter? Would You reveal Yourself to me?
11
The bright autumn hues of gold and orange slanted through the half-closed shades and warmed Sierra’s cheeks. Lifting sleepy lids, she breathed deep of the cool mountain air that breezed through the crack from the open window.
Wilma kept it frigid in the house, and Sierra had grown to like it that way herself. She glanced over at the next bed, surprised to see Wilma still sleeping, her grandmother’s wide-open mouth emitting a slight snuffle sound. The sleeping beauty wrinkled her nose and swatted at an invisible pest, her wrinkled hand slashing the vacant air around her downy white pillow.
As much as Sierra would like to laze under the covers for a while longer, it was probably best if she hit the shower first, so she could be downstairs greeting and answering anxious questions about their planned outing for the day.
Will we be able to get out and stretch our legs?
How long in between restroom breaks?
How much walking will we have to do? Will the path be too steep? Should I just wait in the bus?
She smiled, just thinking about her dear elderly friends and their exaggerated worries. Didn’t they know by now that she wouldn’t cause any of them to suffer?
Then it hit her. Daniel’s phone call yesterday. Her job…on the cutting block.
But she didn’t feel any of the dread pitting in her belly or the resulting nausea like yesterday. Instead, a peace filled her
, a sense that everything would work out, that she and Violet, and even her ever-cranky grandmother, would be all right.
How odd. Then she remembered the prayer she’d whispered in her heart. Hmm…maybe not so odd.
She smiled and crawled out from under the thin blanket to drape her feet over the bed. She stood, stretching arms over her head like a lazy cat, and scooped up her phone as she padded to the bathroom. She wouldn’t disturb Wilma as much if she called Violet from there.
Last night, she hadn’t wanted to call Violet, knowing that her perceptive daughter would pick up on her anguish, her fear over losing her job. But today? She longed to hear Violet’s sweet voice, solid reassurance that all was still right in their world. Even if her job was in jeopardy.
Interesting, the change in perspective from a few hours to the next. The situation hadn’t changed. The outlook for her employed status still looked as bleak as ever, but her mood had shifted from depressed and unsure to positive and committed to her job.
Was it all because of her fireside chat with Camdon? The warm, comfortable feeling of his arms wrapped around her back? How right his embrace felt? Or was it from her heartfelt prayer? Or a combination of all of them?
Something to think about when she had more time. She pulled up her daughter’s picture and connected the call, slinking to the cold tile floor, shivering when her back met the porcelain tub.
Four rings and her daughter’s chirpy voice answered. She was probably getting ready for school. “Hey, Mom.”
“Good morning, sweetheart.” Love for her daughter swelled in her heart. “I miss you.”
“I miss you, too.”
“You doing okay?”
“Yep. Peachy keen.” Crunching punctuated Violet’s words.
Sierra smiled. She hoped her daughter always kept her uniqueness, that she never allowed anybody, especially a boyfriend, to change her.
They chatted for a few minutes, with Violet updating her on homework and school. When Violet ran out of news, Sierra asked to speak to Jillian.
“Hey Sierra. You having a good time?” Jillian’s voice came over the line.
“Yeah. How’s my girl? Is she on her best behavior?” She didn’t think she needed to ask, but just in case.
“Oh, heavens, yes. She’s such a beautiful young lady, Sierra. You’ve done a great job raising her.”
“Thanks.” She had a long ways to go yet if she hoped to survive Violet’s teen years with their relationship intact. But she’d do whatever it took for Violet to feel loved and protected. To know that she always had a home with Sierra, no matter what mistakes she might make along the way to adulthood.
“You should see Carson dote on her, and she just eats it up. As much as my husband might disagree, he’ll make a terrific father one day. Just like Camdon.”
Gulp. It’s not like she hadn’t thought the same thing once or twice. Or maybe a hundred times. Camdon was great with Violet. And yeah, he’d make an awesome husband, too.
Regret packed with a healthy dose of fear was like a punch to her chest, leaving her gasping for air. Regret that it wouldn’t be her. Fear that it wouldn’t be her. That once Camdon found his soul mate, their relationship would disappear into the dusty baseboards of time.
“We both adore her. We’re going to miss her tonight.” Today was Jillian’s twenty-four-hour shift at the fire station. When Sierra had asked Jillian about keeping Violet, for propriety’s sake, they’d decided that her daughter would move to Remi and Mason’s tonight.
“Well, no worries there. Feel free to borrow her anytime.” Emotion swelled in her throat. Did she really mean it? As it was, with this bouncing between newlywed couples, Violet would come home with more questions, more yearnings for family and fathers, and Sierra would still not have any better answers. Or, at least, answers that would satisfy her daughter.
Jillian chuckled. “We will take you up on that. Speaking of my oh-so-handsome brother-in-law, how is he faring with all those adorable friends of yours?”
“Handsome because he’s your husband’s twin!” Sierra scoffed good-naturedly, but just thinking about the man brought a wide smile to her lips. Her hand fluttered to her chest, but it didn’t do anything to still the ambush of her heart. What was up with that? “He’s holding his own. Actually, I think he’s collected a few groupies.”
“Wooing the ladies, is he?”
“All thirty of them.” Thirty-one, if she counted herself.
Jillian giggled. “He’s a good, sturdy man, Sierra.”
Good and sturdy? She supposed those words fit Camdon, but they weren’t exactly the ones she’d use to describe him. She closed her eyes and pictured the man.
Incredibly tall with powerful shoulders. A back that bore a heavy load of mental and emotional strain but never buckled. Well-defined muscles that rippled underneath his medium-starched cotton dress shirt, his typical office attire. Legs that stretched into tomorrow and arms that always opened for her, guiding her to the safe harbor that was his chest. A sense of humor that always brought a smile to her face and joy to her day. A strong faith that had carried him through the pain of his father’s suicide and sustained him through the years.
Longing flickered to life, bright and fresh as the dawn of a sunny spring day after a long, harsh winter.
“Well, now. That was one big sigh. Very revealing, in fact.”
Sierra heard the amusement in Jillian’s voice. She angled her head, wondering what her sigh revealed. “What do you mean?”
“You’ll figure it out.” A muffled voice, her daughter’s probably, and then, “Sorry. Gotta go, Sierra. Violet just told me she has an early meeting for one of her clubs at school, and then I’m off to the fire station. Talk to you later.”
The phone went dead in her hand. She pulled it away, her mouth hanging open as she stared at Violet’s picture until it disappeared off the screen.
Jillian might not know all the details about her “no dating” policy, but surely she didn’t think…no. She couldn’t, could she?
Sierra gave her head a vicious shake. She could not be falling for her best friend.
****
Humming a cheerful tune, Camdon stepped from the elevator and made his way down the narrow hall toward Sierra’s room, clutching the stiff cardboard tray holding three cups of coffee. Pumpkin spice for Sierra, a regular latte for Wilma, and a black coffee for him.
Determined to make the most of their last day away from the city, he’d already been down to the dining hall and ordered the surprise for Sierra. When he’d left there, he’d passed the coffee shop and couldn’t resist the alluring scents coming from the small bar.
A twinge of doubt pricked him, and he frowned at the unusual emotion. Of course, Sierra would appreciate the coffee, and he hoped to score some points with Wilma, too. But, what about his surprise later? Would Sierra be pleased?
His phone vibrated in his pocket. Uh oh.
Balancing the tray of cups in one hand, he tugged out his phone. An identical face, his twin, stared back at him. Violet was staying with Carson and Jillian, so he needed to take this call. Just in case something was wrong.
“Hey, bud. What’s up?” He leaned his back against the wall and glanced around for a table to unload the coffee but didn’t see any.
“You, man.” His brother’s deep voice came through the phone. “How’s the trip?”
“It’s going all right.”
“Just all right?”
Suspicion pricked his spine. “Why?”
“Because I heard that you’d collected a few groupies.”
“Groupies? As in fans gone mad?” He chuckled, a vision of the group on this trip, especially Ms. Esther with that crazy racing walker, floating through his head. “Where’d you hear that from?”
“My wife. Who else?”
“That doesn’t tell me much. What do you mean by ‘groupies’ and was the original source Violet or Sierra?” Knowing Violet and her propensity for retro words and phrases—
“Bite me.” Okay, so maybe he didn’t sound so grown up with that expression but just saying those two words brought back happier memories from their childhood. Before Carson had deserted them.
His brother’s hearty laugh came through on the phone until he finally regained some control. “Well. Fill me in. Does one of those adoring fans include your friend?”
“Sierra?”
“Who else?” Camdon sputtered and muttered something else under his breath. “Are you going to talk to me or am I wasting my time here?”
“Nothing new to say on that front.”
“Why not?”
Now his brother was starting to get on his nerves. “I’m working on it, okay?”
“You’re leaving to come home tomorrow, right?”
“Yes.”
“You don’t have much time left to work on it.”
Didn’t he know. A door opened farther down the quiet hall, and footsteps padded down the carpet. Other than angling his head in the opposite direction, he ignored the interruption. “It’s taken me ten years to get this far. What makes you think I can win her heart in a matter of a few days?”
“Because you’re my brother and I want you to be as deliriously happy as I am in a forever relationship with the love of your life.”
A heavy sigh came from deep in his belly and worked its way out his lips. He pivoted and faced the other direction.
“Camdon?” The soft female voice sounded right behind his shoulder.
Sierra? How much of his phone conversation had she overheard? “Uh, Carson, I’ll call you later, okay?”
“Caught, huh? Sure. I’ll talk—”
Camdon disconnected, the amusement in his brother’s voice haunting him as he turned around, sliding the phone back in his pocket. The cups wobbled precariously on the cardboard holder until he steadied it.