CHAPTER XVI. ARCHIE ACCEPTS A SITUATION
Lucille moved her wrist slowly round, the better to examine the newbracelet.
"You really are an angel, angel!" she murmured.
"Like it?" said Archie complacently.
"LIKE it! Why, it's gorgeous! It must have cost a fortune."
"Oh, nothing to speak of. Just a few hard-earned pieces of eight. Just afew doubloons from the old oak chest."
"But I didn't know there were any doubloons in the old oak chest."
"Well, as a matter of fact," admitted Archie, "at one point in theproceedings there weren't. But an aunt of mine in England--peace beon her head!--happened to send me a chunk of the necessary at what youmight call the psychological moment."
"And you spent it all on a birthday present for me! Archie!" Lucillegazed at her husband adoringly. "Archie, do you know what I think?"
"What?"
"You're the perfect man!"
"No, really! What ho!"
"Yes," said Lucille firmly. "I've long suspected it, and now I know. Idon't think there's anybody like you in the world."
Archie patted her hand.
"It's a rummy thing," he observed, "but your father said almost exactlythat to me only yesterday. Only I don't fancy he meant the same as you.To be absolutely frank, his exact expression was that he thanked Godthere was only one of me."
A troubled look came into Lucille's grey eyes.
"It's a shame about father. I do wish he appreciated you. But youmustn't be too hard on him."
"Me?" said Archie. "Hard on your father? Well, dash it all, I don'tthink I treat him with what you might call actual brutality, what! Imean to say, my whole idea is rather to keep out of the old lad's wayand curl up in a ball if I can't dodge him. I'd just as soon be hard ona stampeding elephant! I wouldn't for the world say anything derogatory,as it were, to your jolly old pater, but there is no getting away fromthe fact that he's by way of being one of our leading man-eating fishes.It would be idle to deny that he considers that you let down the proudold name of Brewster a bit when you brought me in and laid me on themat."
"Anyone would be lucky to get you for a son-in-law, precious."
"I fear me, light of my life, the dad doesn't see eye to eye with youon that point. No, every time I get hold of a daisy, I give him anotherchance, but it always works out at 'He loves me not!'"
"You must make allowances for him, darling."
"Right-o! But I hope devoutly that he doesn't catch me at it. I've asort of idea that if the old dad discovered that I was making allowancesfor him, he would have from ten to fifteen fits."
"He's worried just now, you know."
"I didn't know. He doesn't confide in me much."
"He's worried about that waiter."
"What waiter, queen of my soul?"
"A man called Salvatore. Father dismissed him some time ago."
"Salvatore!"
"Probably you don't remember him. He used to wait on this table."
"Why--"
"And father dismissed him, apparently, and now there's all sorts oftrouble. You see, father wants to build this new hotel of his, and hethought he'd got the site and everything and could start building rightaway: and now he finds that this man Salvatore's mother owns a littlenewspaper and tobacco shop right in the middle of the site, and there'sno way of getting him out without buying the shop, and he won't sell. Atleast, he's made his mother promise that she won't sell."
"A boy's best friend is his mother," said Archie approvingly. "I had asort of idea all along--"
"So father's in despair."
Archie drew at his cigarette meditatively.
"I remember a chappie--a policeman he was, as a matter of fact, andincidentally a fairly pronounced blighter--remarking to me some timeago that you could trample on the poor man's face but you mustn't besurprised if he bit you in the leg while you were doing it. Apparentlythis is what has happened to the old dad. I had a sort of idea all alongthat old friend Salvatore would come out strong in the end if you onlygave him time. Brainy sort of feller! Great pal of mine."-Lucille'ssmall face lightened. She gazed at Archie with proud affection. Shefelt that she ought to have known that he was the one to solve thisdifficulty.
"You're wonderful, darling! Is he really a friend of yours?"
"Absolutely. Many's the time he and I have chatted in this verygrill-room."
"Then it's all right. If you went to him and argued with him, he wouldagree to sell the shop, and father would be happy. Think how gratefulfather would be to you! It would make all the difference."
Archie turned this over in his mind.
"Something in that," he agreed.
"It would make him see what a pet lambkin you really are!"
"Well," said Archie, "I'm bound to say that any scheme which what youmight call culminates in your father regarding me as a pet lambkin oughtto receive one's best attention. How much did he offer Salvatore for hisshop?"
"I don't know. There is father.--Call him over and ask him."
Archie glanced over to where Mr. Brewster had sunk moodily into a chairat a neighbouring table. It was plain even at that distance that DanielBrewster had his troubles and was bearing them with an ill grace. He wasscowling absently at the table-cloth.
"YOU call him," said Archie, having inspected his formidable relative."You know him better."
"Let's go over to him."
They crossed the room. Lucille sat down opposite her father.-Archiedraped himself over a chair in the background.
"Father, dear," said Lucille. "Archie has got an idea."
"Archie?" said Mr. Brewster incredulously.
"This is me," said Archie, indicating himself with a spoon. "The tall,distinguished-looking bird."
"What new fool-thing is he up to now?"
"It's a splendid idea, father. He wants to help you over your newhotel."
"Wants to run it for me, I suppose?"
"By Jove!" said Archie, reflectively. "That's not a bad scheme! I neverthought of running an hotel. I shouldn't mind taking a stab at it."
"He has thought of a way of getting rid of Salvatore and his shop."
For the first time Mr. Brewster's interest in the conversation seemed tostir. He looked sharply at his son-in-law.
"He has, has he?" he said.
Archie balanced a roll on a fork and inserted a plate underneath. Theroll bounded away into a corner.
"Sorry!" said Archie. "My fault, absolutely! I owe you a roll. I'll signa bill for it. Oh, about this sportsman Salvatore, Well, it's like this,you know. He and I are great pals. I've known him for years and years.At least, it seems like years and years. Lu was suggesting that Iseek him out in his lair and ensnare him with my diplomatic manner andsuperior brain power and what not."
"It was your idea, precious," said Lucille.
Mr. Brewster was silent.--Much as it went against the grain to have toadmit it, there seemed to be something in this.
"What do you propose to do?"
"Become a jolly old ambassador. How much did you offer the chappie?"
"Three thousand dollars. Twice as much as the place is worth. He'sholding out on me for revenge."
"Ah, but how did you offer it to him, what? I mean to say, I bet you gotyour lawyer to write him a letter full of whereases, peradventures, andparties of the first part, and so forth. No good, old companion!"
"Don't call me old companion!"
"All wrong, laddie! Nothing like it, dear heart! No good at all, friendof my youth! Take it from your Uncle Archibald! I'm a student of humannature, and I know a thing or two."
"That's not much," growled Mr. Brewster, who was finding hisson-in-law's superior manner a little trying.
"Now, don't interrupt, father," said Lucille, severely. "Can't you seethat Archie is going to be tremendously clever in a minute?"
"He's got to show me!"
"What you ought to do," said Archie, "is to let me go and see him,taking the stuff in crackling bills. I'll roll
them about on thetable in front of him. That'll fetch him!" He prodded Mr. Brewsterencouragingly with a roll. "I'll tell you what to do. Give me threethousand of the best and crispest, and I'll undertake to buy that shop.It can't fail, laddie!"
"Don't call me laddie!" Mr. Brewster pondered. "Very well," he said atlast. "I didn't know you had so much sense," he added grudgingly.
"Oh, positively!" said Archie. "Beneath a rugged exterior I hide a brainlike a buzz-saw. Sense? I exude it, laddie; I drip with it."
There were moments during the ensuing days when Mr. Brewster permittedhimself to hope; but more frequent were the moments when he told himselfthat a pronounced chump like his son-in-law could not fail somehow tomake a mess of the negotiations. His relief, therefore, when Archiecurveted into his private room and announced that he had succeeded wasgreat.
"You really managed to make that wop sell out?"
Archie brushed some papers off the desk with a careless gesture, andseated himself on the vacant spot.
"Absolutely! I spoke to him as one old friend to another, sprayed thebills all over the place; and he sang a few bars from 'Rigoletto,' andsigned on the dotted line."
"You're not such a fool as you look," owned Mr. Brewster.
Archie scratched a match on the desk and lit a cigarette.
"It's a jolly little shop," he said. "I took quite a fancy to it. Fullof newspapers, don't you know, and cheap novels, and some weird-lookingsort of chocolates, and cigars with the most fearfully attractivelabels. I think I'll make a success of it. It's bang in the middle of adashed good neighbourhood. One of these days somebody will be buildinga big hotel round about there, and that'll help trade a lot. I lookforward to ending my days on the other side of the counter with afull set of white whiskers and a skull-cap, beloved by everybody.Everybody'll say, 'Oh, you MUST patronise that quaint, delightful oldblighter! He's quite a character.'"
Mr. Brewster's air of grim satisfaction had given way to a look ofdiscomfort, almost of alarm. He presumed his son-in-law was merelyindulging in badinage; but even so, his words were not soothing.
"Well, I'm much obliged," he said. "That infernal shop was holding upeverything. Now I can start building right away."
Archie raised his eyebrows.
"But, my dear old top, I'm sorry to spoil your daydreams and stop youchasing rainbows, and all that, but aren't you forgetting that the shopbelongs to me? I don't at all know that I want to sell, either!"
"I gave you the money to buy that shop!"
"And dashed generous of you it was, too!" admitted Archie, unreservedly."It was the first money you ever gave me, and I shall always, tellinterviewers that it was you who founded my fortunes. Some day, when I'mthe Newspaper-and-Tobacco-Shop King, I'll tell the world all about it inmy autobiography."
Mr. Brewster rose dangerously from his seat.
"Do you think you can hold me up, you--you worm?"
"Well," said Archie, "the way I look at it is this. Ever since we met,you've been after me to become one of the world's workers, and earn aliving for myself, and what not; and now I see a way to repay you foryour confidence and encouragement. You'll look me up sometimes at thegood old shop, won't you?" He slid off the table and moved towards thedoor. "There won't be any formalities where you are concerned. You cansign bills for any reasonable amount any time you want a cigar or astick of chocolate. Well, toodle-oo!"
"Stop!"
"Now what?"
"How much do you want for that damned shop?"
"I don't want money.-I want a job.-If you are going to take my life-workaway from me, you ought to give me something else to do."
"What job?"
"You suggested it yourself the other day. I want to manage your newhotel."
"Don't be a fool! What do you know about managing an hotel?"
"Nothing. It will be your pleasing task to teach me the business whilethe shanty is being run up."
There was a pause, while Mr. Brewster chewed three inches off apen-holder.
"Very well," he said at last.
"Topping!" said Archie. "I knew you'd, see it. I'll study your methods,what! Adding some of my own, of course. You know, I've thought of oneimprovement on the Cosmopolis already."
"Improvement on the Cosmopolis!" cried Mr. Brewster, gashed in hisfinest feelings.
"Yes. There's one point where the old Cosmop slips up badly, and I'mgoing to see that it's corrected at my little shack. Customers will beentreated to leave their boots outside their doors at night, and they'llfind them cleaned in the morning. Well, pip, pip! I must be popping.Time is money, you know, with us business men."
Indiscretions of Archie Page 16