“That is such a sexist thing to say.” Florrie spun around in her seat and shot a glare at me. “I suppose a woman would be just fine hiring a security company to protect her family.”
“Of course,” I said indignantly. “Not you, but any normal woman can and should. See, women are fragile creatures that need strong men, like us, to watch over them and keep them safe.”
“Not all women are fragile. In fact, if you bothered to look close enough, you would see that we are all pretty much capable of taking care of ourselves. Take Reese, for example. She was doing just fine in her life until you came along and fucked it all up for her.”
“Hey, I saved her from a kidnapper.”
“Yeah, and that kidnapper was hired by her grandmother to get her away from you.”
“Okay, but what about those guys in the coffee shop? She could have seriously been injured.”
“Sean showed up right after you disarmed them,” Alec pointed out.
“Yeah, but they still had to be disarmed,” I grumbled. “Tell me, what would have happened to her if I hadn’t been there?”
“I imagine that she would have done what every other person in a hostage situation does,” Florrie said. “She would have kept her head down until the police came and got her out.”
“You just don’t get it,” I said, sitting back in my seat. “You couldn’t possibly understand what us men go through when our women are in danger.”
“Right,” she snorted. “I have no idea what it’s like to see someone I love about to die.”
“And you felt helpless,” I added, “like any normal woman would.”
“Craig, I would suggest that you shut your mouth before she shuts it for you.”
I sat back in my seat for the rest of the drive and ignored the two of them talking. It was pissing me off, hearing their romantic bullshit when I was currently separated from my wife. Not that you could really consider the shit they were saying romantic.
We pulled down the driveway of an old farm, about thirty minutes from Reed Security. The farm was rundown with a tractor broken down in tall weeds. There was a wagon that only had two tires left on it and was covered in what looked like bird shit. There were old appliances all over the yard and a few broken down cars sitting in the yard.
“This place is a dump,” Alec said. “I’m surprised they even called us. Hell, just walking through this place is likely to severely injure someone.”
“Maybe Cap understood them wrong. Maybe they just want sensors installed,” I said hopefully.
“This place is creepier than the asylum,” Florrie said with a shudder. “Let’s get this job done and get the fuck out of here.”
We pulled up to the house that barely looked like it was still standing and got out of the SUV.
“This place looks like something out of Deliverance,” I muttered.
A loud barking had me spinning around with my gun drawn. There was a dog behind a chain link fence that looked like it would eat anyone that came close. I jumped when a hand clamped down on my shoulder.
“What’s the matter? Scared of a dog?” Alec grinned.
“That thing’s not a dog. It’s a fucking beast.”
“Come on.” Florrie walked up the steps to the house and knocked on the door. When no one answered, she knocked harder and the door creaked open. Alec and I walked up behind her, ready to check out whatever was going on. She shoved the door open the rest of the way and drew her gun.
“Why are you pulling your gun? Someone just left the door open,” I said quietly.
“When doors are left open, that usually means that something’s happened,” she said, stepping further into the house. I didn’t believe her, but I cleared the first floor along with both of them. It was silent.
“I told you nothing was going on. They probably went to town and now we’re trespassing.”
“We had an appointment,” Alec pointed out.
“And you’ve never been late for an appointment?”
“It is weird though,” Florrie said, looking to the stairs. “Why would they ask to meet with us and say it’s urgent, but then not be home?”
“This assignment blows,” I grumbled. “I was talking with the ladies, and they all said that I needed something bad to happen. You know, to make Reese realize how much she loves me. Now I’ve got nothing. Nobody’s here and there’s no fucking danger in sight.”
Alec pointed his weapon at my leg.
“What are you doing?”
He fired his gun, lodging a bullet in the muscle of my leg. “Son of a bitch! What the fuck did you do that for?”
“Well, you were fucking bitching about needing something bad to happen so you could get your woman back. Now something bad has happened,” he shrugged. “You can go home and tell her that you were shot. Problem solved.”
“I was already fucking shot. I needed something more serious than a shot to the fucking leg!”
He pulled the trigger again, hitting me in the foot that belonged to the same fucking leg he shot.
“Ow! Would you stop fucking shooting me?” I bent over, clamping one hand over my leg and the other over my foot, which did absolutely nothing to help me.
“What? You said you needed something more serious. You have two bullet wounds now. Tell me how that’s not more serious?”
“Who’s there?”
We all spun, pointing our guns at the stairs where the male voice came from.
Alec took one step forward, his gun drawn toward the stairs. “It’s Reed Security. We’ve come to install the security sensors, sir.”
“What security sensors? Get the hell off my property before I pump you full of lead!”
“Sir, we’re here because of a call we received from Mrs. Allan.”
“You’re a liar!”
A gunshot sounded, hitting the wall behind us. I scrambled to find a hiding place so I didn’t get shot for a third time in the span of five minutes. Florrie and Alec were across the room from me, hiding behind furniture.
“Sir, put your weapon down or we’ll be forced to take you down,” Alec threatened.
“You could try,” the old man shouted.
More gunshots sounded, but now bullets were flying above us like we were in the middle of a fucking war. I looked around the room in confusion. The bullets were flying from all different directions.
“What the fuck! Stop shooting!” This was getting fucking old, and my leg was throbbing from Alec shooting me.
“You’re with them Carter boys, ain’t ya?”
“Sir, we’re here to help,” Alec shouted. “Now put down your fucking gun down before I’m forced to take it from you!”
“You mother fuckin’ hicks think you can come in here and take my property? I’ll see every last one of you dead!”
“Can we get the fuck out of here?” I shouted to Alec. “This guy obviously doesn’t want our help.”
“Sir, we’re leaving-”
“Damn right you are!”
He fired again, tearing up his own house with bullets, but he wasn’t the only one firing, which was going to make getting out difficult.
“Head for the front door,” Alec shouted.
“Sure, I’ll just hobble along and catch up with you,” I shouted back as I started making my way over to them, ducking behind furniture as I went.
“You wouldn’t have to fucking hobble if you hadn’t decided that you needed to be fucking shot.”
“I didn’t tell you to shoot me,” I shot back. “I was hoping to get injured on the job. You know, maybe a leap off a tall building that broke my leg or taking a bullet for one of my teammates in a hail of gunfire.”
“Just fucking stand up. I’m sure Mr. Allan would be happy to shoot you to get you to shut the fuck up.”
“Are you two gonna keep arguing or can we leave before one of us is shot again?”
“One of us?” I asked Florrie. “I’m the only one with fucking bullet holes in my body!”
“Stop your w
hining,” Florrie spat at me. “If Reese heard you right now, she’d dump your ass. Now move!”
I shot out from behind the chair I was hiding behind and ran as best I could for the door. I was just running through it when another bullet hit me in the ass.
“What the fuck? Stop fucking shooting me!”
“That wasn’t me, asshole.”
Alec hauled me up, stretching the wound in my ass as he started half running, half carrying me across the yard.
“Whose fucking brilliant idea was it for us to come out here?” Florrie yelled.
“Talk to Cap,” Alec said.
“Can’t we just shoot him?” Florrie asked as she put her shoulder under my other arm to help support me.
“Hey, I’m your teammate. How about a little fucking sympathy before you decide to take me out behind the barn and shoot me?”
“Not you, the old man.”
“Thank God,” I grimaced. “I thought you’d finally had enough of me.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” she said. “If I really didn’t want to see you anymore, I’d just send you back to that therapist.”
My leg was really starting to fucking hurt, but we were almost to the SUV. That is, until someone started shooting it up and we had to duck behind some bushes.
“What the fuck are we gonna do?” Florrie asked. “He shot up the SUV!”
“It’s not just him. There are too many bullets flying. He’s got help,” Alec said, pulling out a second gun.
“Alec, we need to take them out before they take us out!” Florrie shouted.
“They’re civilians.”
“Yeah, but so are the drug dealers and gang members that we’ve shot up,” I added.
“But we had a reason. This guy is just defending his property. We were in his fucking house and he didn’t want us there,” Alec reminded us. “Okay, we need to head to the neighbor’s property over there.” He pointed off in the distance where I could just barely see light shining from someone’s house. It was getting dark now, so at least it would be harder to see us. “Florrie, wrap up his leg, and well, all his wounds the best you can. I’m gonna see if I can tell how many people are shooting at us.”
He took off across the yard to get a better angle of sight on the house. Florrie tore at her shirt, wrapping the torn piece around my thigh. I hissed in pain when she yanked it tight.
“What? Does it hurt?”
“Of course it fucking hurts.”
“Then maybe you shouldn’t have wished to get injured on the job,” she snapped.
“It’s not my fault. I would never have thought up that stupid shit. It’s those damn wives. They were telling me all this shit about glory and making Reese see that she loves me. They used fucking Knight as an example. It’s not like I can back down from that challenge. All those women are obsessed with Knight because he’s dark and scary. A guy has to be able to compete, you know.”
She took my boot off and wrapped another scrap of her shirt around my foot. “You know, having a contest to see who can get hurt the worst is so juvenile. You’d have been better off just leaving her alone. Then she would have come to you.”
“What do you mean?”
She sighed and shoved me onto my stomach, then yanked my pants down to look at my ass.
“Hey!”
“Oh, stop being a baby. I’m just seeing how bad it is.”
“Just pull my fucking pants back up before your man friend comes back and puts a bullet in my head.”
She yanked my pants back up and rolled me back over. I winced at the sting of the bullet.
“You’ve chased that woman for weeks and then you convinced her to marry you. She wanted out and you kept chasing her. Your best bet is to fucking walk away and leave her alone. Then she’ll start to wonder if she shouldn’t have pushed you away, because she’ll start to realize what you had was really fucking good. Didn’t you pay attention at all to my relationship with Alec?”
“What about our relationship?” Alec said as he sat down beside me.
“I was just telling him how you won me back.”
“Excuse me? I didn’t win you back. I had you fucking crawling back to me.”
“Really? You want to do this now?” Florrie snapped.
“Hey, if we die here, I will not go down in the books as the man that had to win you back. I have too much fucking pride for that.”
“Oh, well I’m so sorry that I almost damaged your sensitive male pride. I thought our relationship had evolved into something, oh, I don’t know…mature? I thought we were past the bickering over useless crap.”
“We never bickered over useless crap. It was always over your inability to commit. Now that that’s out of the way, I’m sure there’s a bunch of other shit we can argue about.”
“Well, at least I-”
“Hey!” I looked at the two of them, wondering if Cap was going to send us back to therapy. I didn’t think I could handle any more sessions with Dr. Sunshine. Or any more dreams that might come out of them. “Can we please focus on the task at hand? We can pick this shit up when we get somewhere that bullets aren’t flying and I’m not about to fucking bleed out!”
They both glared at each other and nodded in agreement.
“And when we get back to Reed Security, neither of you better say a fucking word about Alec shooting me. If anyone asks, I was shot by a pack of wild hillbillies.”
Alec snorted, but stopped when I shot him a death glare.
“There are four from what I can see.”
“Four what?” I asked Alec.
He rolled his eyes. “Shooters. In the house. You know, the reason we’re here? Anyway, I think it’s dark enough that if we crawl to the edge of the bushes, we should be able to make a break for the barn and get there before they see us.”
“What about this dipshit?” Florrie asked.
“Hey-”
“I’ll have to carry him. There’s no way he’ll make the distance without giving us away.”
“I think I can-”
“I’ll cover you,” Florrie nodded. “Don’t wait for me. I’ll make sure you have enough cover to haul his sorry ass out of here.”
“You know-”
“Don’t get shot,” Alec said sternly, but Florrie growled at him. “What? Just because we’re officially together and I said that I would ease up doesn’t mean I won’t fucking remind you to be careful. I expect your ass at home tonight in my bed.”
“Trust me, after saving your ass and this idiot’s ass, I’ll still be able to make it home in one piece,” she snarked.
“Hey! Can you please stop talking like I’m not here?”
Alec grinned. “We meant you to hear every word of that.”
He hauled me up and threw me over his shoulder in one swift move. My stomach lurched from the impact with his shoulder.
“Hey, I thought we were crawling out of here?” I whispered.
“It’s just faster this way. Besides, you’re covering half my backside. You’re more likely to get shot than me.”
“Gee, thanks.”
“Hey, anything I can do to help.”
Alec took off running, me bouncing painfully on his shoulder. I could feel the blood seeping from the wound in my ass, but there was nothing I could do about it. Right now, we just had to get the fuck out of here. We weren’t more than fifty yards away when the shooting started again. I couldn’t reach my gun, so I pulled the one from Alec’s back and started returning fire.
“Don’t get any ideas,” he shouted over his shoulder.
“I’m just using your gun, fuckhead. Unless you wanted to get shot.”
“Just keep your hands to yourself,” he bit out.
“Hey, you’re the one that has your hands on my ass.”
“I’m holding you in place, asshole.”
I pushed off his back so I could talk to him better. My stomach was killing me. “I’m just saying, you were the one that initiated things.”
“What are you t
alking about?”
“In my dream! You shoved your cock…well, it was someplace it shouldn’t have been.”
He stopped suddenly and threw me to the ground. “What the fuck? You’re sick!”
“You were the one that made me go to a fucking counselor with you. You fucked with my head!”
“It was your fucking dream!”
“And I wouldn’t have had it if you hadn’t dragged me into all your bullshit!”
“Boys!” Florrie yelled as she ran up. “You’re both pretty. Now, can we get the fuck out of here or would you like to go tell your story to the man with the gun?”
“Fine, but if he brings up his fucking dream again, I’ll shoot him myself.”
“You already shot me, asshole.”
“Yeah, well, next time I’ll make sure that I hit a major organ.”
Florrie came over to me and lifted me up. “Hey, what are you doing?” She hoisted me over her shoulder and took off running. “What the fuck? Put me down!”
“I’m getting your ass out of here.”
“I can’t be carried by a woman.”
“Why the fuck not?” she panted. “I’m your teammate.”
“Because. What would the guys say? I’ll be the laughing stock at work.”
“No more than when I tell everyone that Alec shot you because you wanted to win back a woman,” she grumbled.
We were just about to the other house when more gunshots sounded, this time from the house we were approaching.
“Why the fuck are they shooting at us?”
“Fuck if I know.” Alec shouted. “Over to those trees!”
Alec and Florrie took off toward a large clump of trees that would provide us cover. As for me, I just bumped along for the ride and tried not to lose my lunch. Florrie practically threw me down on the ground when we got into the thick of the trees.
“Geez, I’m fucking wounded over here. You could be a little more gentle!”
“Stop being such a baby,” Florrie spat back.
I grumbled and moved back toward a tree to sit more comfortably. Using my good leg, I pushed myself back when suddenly, I was flung into the air and dangling from my good leg.
“This day fucking sucks.”
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