“Fuck, we need to get this packet to Coder, if anyone can uncover this bullshit it would be him,” I state absentmindedly while running my hands through my hair. I pull on it and lower my head, bringing my chin to my chest. This betrayal is something I was unprepared to deal with.
“Sorry to have to do this to you, Rogue, but I was at a standstill in my investigation and couldn’t take it to anyone without your go ahead,” he tells me, with disappointment etched across his face and heaviness in his voice.
“I appreciate the apology, but at the same time, I understand why you’ve done things the way you have. I just need this resolved, and let’s keep this on the down-low and under wraps for now,” I order him as I twirl an ink pen around between my fingers while thinking.
“Understood.” He nods as he stands. “Let me get this ball rolling and I’ll let you know as information starts trickling in.” With that, he leaves the room and I sit back and sigh out in aggravation. I’m still having a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that someone has the balls to betray the brotherhood, the club, and most of all, myself. Each and every one of these men are trusted by me, or should I say were trusted by me. How does one deal with that brand of betrayal? How do I look my brothers, my men, in the eyes and not question if they’re the one who’s stabbed me in the back? I worry on one hand what Coder is going to find, but on the other hand, I want to know who’s fucking with my club. I have a daughter and wife to worry about.
Harmony and Aurora’s safety rank high next to this club and my brothers. My wife and daughter are my life, the reason I wake every morning and the reason I watch my P’s and Q’s with every decision I make. Don’t get me wrong, my club is first, but my family is just a notch ahead of that. I fear for what this could mean for my club, a betrayal of this level could irrevocably rip us apart. I hate feeling as if I don’t have a handle on this situation, but the truth is, it’s completely out of my control. I’m the President for a reason, and that’s because I can see the bigger picture and face it head-on. All the while, following through with the tough, life-altering decisions placed before me. This information is so shocking and sudden, that I have no idea how to process and foresee what is awaiting us at the end of the road.
Aurora
My baby girl has no fear.
I watch as she falls down on her bike only to get back up and try again, not paying any attention to the skinned knees and elbows she’s now sporting. The mother in me wants to jump up and run over to her and kiss her boo-boos. Considering she’s just like her father, that would be a complete disaster. She would assume I think she’s weak and coddling her. She exudes confidence and puts on a tough exterior, but in reality, she wears her heart on her sleeve.
I’ve learned this about Rogue, too. Tough as nails and will put someone down faster than they can blink, but once they love, they love hard and passionately. A little-known fact that only I’m privy to, so I allow them both to keep up their facade. I unceremoniously watch as she gets up and dusts herself off, again, then gets back on her bicycle. She insisted her training wheels be taken off so she can ride on two wheels like all of her uncles and father do.
She wants to be just like Rogue. Which should frighten me, yet, it doesn’t. There’s no one else I’d want her to hero-worship the way she does when it comes to him. Who better than the man who evokes the same feelings from myself?
She doesn’t realize with her being a girl, she’ll never have the opportunities in the club like she’s forever dreaming she will. She’ll never wear a patch on her cut unless she becomes someone’s old lady. That worries me some because she’s so headstrong that I don’t see any man being able to tame her wild side. God forbid any man attempt to mold her into the old lady that won’t speak her mind or tell him off, in front of his brothers or behind closed doors.
In our lifestyle, an old lady is a reflection of her man and his club. If he is disrespected, or she shows her ass in front of the club, he’s the one who has to answer for her actions. I had to learn that lesson the hard way. One time when Rogue pissed me off, I didn’t stop and think about how my words to him would affect or his position as the leader of these misfits he’s in charge of. He kicked me out of the clubhouse and sent me home. He didn’t come home for three weeks and wouldn’t answer the phone when I called the club. I was devastated and feared that I’d lost him. I did nothing but attempt to sleep and go to work. My existence quickly became a shell of what it was with him in my life. I lost my appetite and over ten pounds in that three weeks he was away from me. When he finally came back and we talked, I made a vow to him that day that I would never do that to him again. I’ve kept my word and have never given him a reason to cause him to punish me so harshly again.
I watch as Harmony finally gets herself leveled out and riding. Seeing the smile that graces her face has me jumping up and down while clapping in excitement for her.
“That’s my girl!” I scream out. I start shaking my hips and pumping my fist in the air. “Woohoo! You’ve got this my sweet girl!” Her smile spreads, and her dimples emerge. She starts riding toward me and I prepare for impact. She may have gotten the riding part down, but I know she doesn't have the stopping down and I fear she’s going to ride right into me. She surprises me when she instead leans to the side and lets her bike drop into the grass. She jumps over it and runs into my open arms.
“I did it, Momma!” she emphatically squeals. “I’m riding just like Daddy!”
“Yes you did, and you’re going to have to show your daddy when he gets home. He’ll be so excited to see that you got the hang of it and took his advice,” I reply into her soft, brunette hair as I tightly hold my daughter in my arms.
“I’ll show him, Momma. I need to practice some more!" She wiggles so I’ll let her down and she rushes back over to her bike. She practices for the next hour with me as her personal cheerleader. While watching my girl, my mind drifts to her upcoming birthday. I can’t believe she’s already about to be six years old. The day she was born is a day I’ll always remember. We’ve tried to have another baby, but some things aren’t meant to be. We haven’t been successful, but Harmony is enough for the both of us. She brings so much light and joy into our lives, that there isn’t room for any complaints. Some people never get to experience parenthood once, so I’ll take what gift I’ve been given. It takes some enticing and promises of sweet treats for me to convince her we need to head inside so I can get dinner started. I haven't heard from Rogue today, so I’m not sure what time he’ll be here, but I have Harmony on a schedule and I’d like to keep it that way.
“But, Momma, I need to practice so I can show Daddy when he gets home,” she whines, stomping her foot in place.
“I’ll make you a promise, if we can get dinner done, eat and it’s early enough, we’ll come back out for thirty-minutes. Is that a deal?” I extend my hand, motioning for her to shake on it.
“Deal,” she begrudgingly agrees, as she hesitantly reaches out her hand and shakes mine. I can see the disappointment in her eyes, but I can’t give in. I need to stand my ground and teach her that we don’t always get our way in life, there are compromises to be made and sometimes we have to sacrifice certain things. There are lessons in life that need to be taught. What kind of mother would I be if I didn’t take the time and teach her these things? One day, when she has children of her own, she’ll understand and respect the things that I’ve fought so hard for her to understand. That’s my wish, anyway.
“Can we have ice cream after dinner to celebrate me learning how to ride my bike with no extra wheels?” she asks, with a raised brow and mischievous grin upon her face. Again, much like her father, she steals my heart with one adorable look as she knows how to play the system; the system being me.
Now this is something I can let her have her way with. “Absolutely!” She giggles at my exuberant display of excitement.
“Yay!” she hollers out, as she rushes inside the house. I can’t help but smile at her exuberance an
d stamina. She’s definitely her father’s daughter. He displays variations of excitement, of course, and not all of them are for a good reason. I’m more level-headed and show my enthusiasm when a good reason has warranted such an emotion.
“Can I go to the clubhouse tomorrow and show Nash and Asher that I can ride a big bike like them now?” Nash and Asher are the sons of two club members and the two that my girl is closest to. Both boys aren’t much older than my girl, but they’re club members by birthright. So, they’ve been training on real bikes since kindergarten, although they haven’t been given full reins to an actual motorcycle yet.
“Let me ask your daddy tonight and see if they have anything going on. If not, then I’ll call their dads and ask if they can come over and hang out with you. Maybe they can bring their bikes too and y’all can ride together?” I ask, tossing that idea out there to stir around in her mind. I never know exactly what is going on from day to day within the walls of the club, and I try my best to keep Rogue out of his daughter’s doghouse.
“Yes! That will be so much fun. Thank you,” she replies, as she rushes off to her room to play with her toys while I get started on dinner. Tonight’s spaghetti night. It’s Rogue and Harmony’s favorite dish. I get the skillet out and begin browning the meat and boiling water when the phone rings.
“Hello?” I answer, flustered as I’m already multitasking and am trying to keep an ear out for Harmony while she’s playing.
“Hey, Rora. I was calling to let ya know I won’t make it home in time for supper. Something’s come up at the club that requires my attention,” Rogue informs me, and I can detect frustration and a hint of sadness in his tone.
“Okay, do you know what time you’ll be home?” I ask him through an accidental exaggerated sigh.
“I will probably just crash here on the couch in my office,” he informs me. I bite my tongue because I can sense the stress in his tone, and don’t want to add to that by declaring he’ll have a disappointed little girl. I’ve become accustomed to these last-minute cancellations; she, however, has not.
“Harmony asked me if she could come to the club tomorrow and play with Asher and Nash. Do you think that will be a possibility? Or am I wasting my breath?” I question, realizing I let some of my own irritation slip out.
He sighs, before I hear him growl subtly, causing me to audibly gulp. “This thing happening, it means I don’t want either of you here. Not just yet anyhow. Not until I get a better understanding of what this means for the club. I won’t put my family at risk.” I can hear a heavy sigh leave the other end of the receiver. “Fuck, I don’t know, baby. Let me see how things begin to look as we delve deeper into this. Just don’t wanna make any promises I can’t uphold.”
My heart falls deep into my stomach with his statement, but I desperately try to choke back any emotion revealing my gut feeling. I get these often, but they’ve only ever proved to be right twice in my life. Once when I first met Rogue and knew he was the one I’d spend my life with, and the other being when I knew we’d be having a daughter. “That bad, huh?”
“The worst, Rora,” he admits, and now I feel nauseous and clammy.
“Anything I can do to help?” It’s a rhetorical question, really. If he won’t allow us near the clubhouse, he most definitely will refuse any form of help coming from me. This is an attempt by me as his dutiful wife and old lady to simply assuage him. Even if I can’t help physically, it’s important he knows that I’m here for him to vent to.
“Nah, baby. Club business, we’ve got it handled. Can I talk to our girl to say my goodnights?” He always has a routine with her when it comes to bedtime, and I know that it will bother him, as much as it does her, if this doesn't happen.
“Sure, honey. Let me go and get her for you,” I say, placing the receiver down on the kitchen counter. I find my girl experimenting with her ‘play makeup’. She’s not a girly-girl, but she loves to decorate her face as she says. “Harmony?”
She looks up at me, her face smeared with pink lipstick and her eyes adorned with bright blue eyeshadow. Suddenly, my teenage years creep to the forefront of my mind. Big hair and bright makeup. Momentarily, I think to myself it’s probably a good thing her daddy is working overnight. “Yes, Momma?” She smiles up at me with a little bit of lipstick painted on her teeth, and I do my best to contain the giggle that’s trying to erupt.
“Daddy’s on the phone. He needs to talk to you.” Before I get the sentence completed, she jumps up and rushes out of the room. That girl, always in a hurry, never takes the time to slow down. I take a minute and straighten up her room to give her and Rogue some alone time. She has a bond with him that is much different than the one she has with me and I respect that and encourage it. Every girl needs her daddy’s love and affection, and I’m their biggest supporter.
“Momma! Daddy wants to talk to you now,” I hear hollered from the other end of the house.
“Coming!” I call out, hurrying that way so I can hear the verdict and brace myself for possible impact. However, Harmony didn’t sound as upset as I thought she would. I grab the phone, a bit surprised, as I watch my girl head back toward her room. I assume to finish styling the clown look she’s rocking.
“Hey,” I say, as I put the phone between my ear and shoulder and begin to place the noodles into a pan of water I’ve now brought to a boil.
“I’ll try to be home as early as I can in the morning. I’m sorry for ditching on y’all, but this can’t wait.”
“I understand,” I reply through a pout. “We’ll be here waiting for you. Do what needs to be done and come home whenever you can. But if you could make that tomorrow at the very latest, that’d be great. No pressure, though.”
“I will,” he replies through a chuckle. “Hey, Rora? I love you.”
My heart begins to race inside my chest. The way he just asked me by name before declaring his feelings for me has me missing him already. Thank goodness these types of nights are few and far between, because they sure leave me feeling alone and in an empty bed. “Love you back,” I say, wishing I could wrap my arms around him and help soothe whatever has him so off balance.
Once we hang up I finish dinner and spend the rest of the night letting Harmony practice. I give her a bath, washing away all of the hard work she so diligently took her time on. I finish off by reading her favorite book to her as she snuggles down into bed. When I finally make my way to my own bed after my shower, I can’t help but worry about what is possibly going on that has taken Rogue away from us at nighttime. He never spends a full night away from us, unless he’s on a run, in which case he tells me that he has one, so I know this is something monumental.
I fall into a fitful sleep. One that’s plagued with nightmares pertaining to death, destruction and mayhem. My restlessness has this night dragging, and I decide to get up and grab myself a glass of water. As I make my way to the kitchen, I cross through our living area only to see the figure of a shadow outside our window. A thousand thoughts now run a marathon in my mind and I’ve got to get to my gun. The only problem is that it’s back in my bedroom, so I lean up against the wall and peek back out the window and notice the shadow’s now approaching. Fuck! Harmony! She’s clear across the house too. Frantically, I search my immediate surroundings and am left with only one choice. I glance again, my heart picks up more and more in speed and now I’m running full speed on adrenaline. I quickly retrieve the umbrella lying up against the wall by our front door. The end is pointed and this will have to work until I can get to the gun tucked into my nightstand drawer. The figure is now standing on my front porch and as I peek through the window again, I see the flicker of a lighter as this soon-to-be dead bastard lights his last smoke. My doorknob begins to twist and I decide I’m not waiting for this sonofabitch to catch me off-guard. In two swift motions, I unlock and open my front door and jab the end of the umbrella with all the force I can muster toward the torso of the shadowed man. As soon as I feel resistance, I know I’ve made contact,
so I turn around and begin to run to grab my gun. I never look back as I have one mission to complete and that’s to see this motherfucker dead.
“Aurora!” My name is called out behind me from a familiar voice, a very familiar voice.
I stop immediately in my tracks and turn around. “Sledge?” I can feel my head fall and a sigh of relief escape me. I reach over and flip a lamp on. Seeing is believing and I clutch my chest at the sight of a friendly face. “What the hell?”
He steps in and toward me. “Fuck, Aurora!” he snarls at me, holding the tip of the umbrella. Clearly, I failed had this been an actual threat. Somehow he managed to grab a hold of the steel not-so-deadly umbrella tip and it broke off. “I’m lucky I managed to react as quickly as I did, otherwise this thing could have pierced my skin causing serious damage.”
Placing a hand upon my hip, I reply, “Yes, that was the intention. Well, had you been an actual threat.” I can’t believe it broke off so easily, I really should place better potential weapons around the house, ones that won’t potentially hurt Harmony if she comes across them.
“Where’s your fucking gun? You know what, never mind. In this case, I’m fucking grateful you didn’t have it! But if you aim your gun the way you did that umbrella, you two would be in serious trouble,” he responds, mocking my ability to defend myself and Harmony.
I narrow my eyes at him. “I can always go grab it and we can start over. Besides, why are you at my house at two o’clock in the morning roaming around outside?”
Confusion etches across his face, as the lines on his forehead become more evident. “Rogue didn’t tell you I’d be out here tonight? I’m keeping watch. I saw someone walking around in here and wanted to come make sure you and Harmony were alright.” This is a set up for a really bad horror flick if I’ve ever heard of one. Can’t even imagine what damage we could’ve inflicted on each other if I hadn’t become aware of the fact that he was a friend and not foe. Harmony could’ve come out of her room, seen me struggling with someone and it could’ve scarred her for life. That image has me gritting my teeth in annoyance.
Rogue's Retribution: Twisted Iron MC Page 3