She looks at me with eyes that beg for mercy and begins to fidget nervously. “I-I don’t know about that,” she stammers out in a raspy tone. Reaching for her bottle of water on my desk, she opens it and begins to chug before placing it back down.
“Bella, why are you acting so strangely? Something is off, way off.” I take her hand into mine. “Why are you acting as if you’re afraid of something? What is it?”
She rushes to my office door and backs herself up against it. “Look, I need you to hear me out, and please, please, try to understand that I was lost and confused at the time. I only ever wanted to do what was best for everyone involved. At one point, it did backfire on me, which is partly where I think we’re at now.”
I close the distance between us. “Why are you fretting and what are you rambling on about? Now is not the time for surprises.”
She audibly gulps and as she looks at me from underneath those lashes of hers, I can tell immediately she’s holding life changing information. I can already feel my blood begin to heat. “I had a son, Rogue… well, I have a son.”
I step backward, away from her as I mentally absorb her revelation, although I’m still unsure to what degree this will affect myself or this club. “What are you saying, Bella?”
“That man, that patched club member Gunner has brought with him is my son,” she begins, her voice shaky, “I haven’t seen or spoken with him in nearly five years now. It’s a long story, Rogue, and now isn’t the ideal time to tell you this, but clearly I have no choice.”
Time stands still and her revelation begins to slowly sink in as I recall our one night together. “Spit it out, now,” I demand, “no need to hold anything back at this point on my account. God forbid this concern me,” I snap angrily in her direction and she freezes. “Right? I mean exactly how does this, your son whom you’ve never spoken of before concern me? Is. He. Mine?”
“I’m not sure,” she reveals, tears now slowly streaming down her cheeks.
“How in the fuck are you not sure?” I roar, pounding the side of my clenched fist onto my desk, causing her to flinch.
“I was upset, not in the right frame of mind after the night we had spent together. I drunkenly slept with a man I’ve never seen again about a week after I’d left here,” she admits through a sob.
I can’t even stand to look at her right now as my mind begins to process this information. “Go to the house. We will discuss this tonight. Right now, I have a meeting to tend to and a possible son to meet.” I can feel the look of disgust I have as it lines my face. How dare she keep a secret of this magnitude from me, even if he isn’t mine? I have and have always had the right to know, and she of all people I would expect to understand that. “Go!” My elevated tone has her exiting my sight almost instantaneously.
As the door opens, I see the boy, the man she claims to be her son standing beside Gunner. I watch as they share a brief look before his eyes widen and he shuns her. As he turns his own repulsed look away from her, our eyes momentarily connect and I can feel myself gasp as I’m taken back at least twenty years; he’s a mirrored image of my younger self. The shock is almost too much to bear, and I feel myself slump backward and into my chair.
Chapter Eleven
Bella
I know he requested, or rather demanded I go home, but I find myself driving without a destination for several hours as I bawl. I can’t go back, not now, possibly ever. I’ve betrayed Rogue’s trust and am unlikely to ever gain it back. Not to mention, my own son snubbed me on sight; the same as he’s done for many years now. My precious boy that I only ever wanted to protect and had nothing but the best of intentions for all involved; but I doubt they will ever see it that way.
The thunderous roar of a bike closes in on me before passing me by, eventually coming to a complete stop in the middle of the road; causing me to smash on my brake pedal. Rolling my window down, I call out, “What the fuck, PeeWee? You’re gonna get us both killed!” I begin to wipe my dampened cheeks with my hands.
Lighting a cigarette, he dismounts his bike, and I’m stunned at the audacity as traffic slowly piles behind each of us. Approaching me, he leans down into my open window while propping himself against my car. “Look, Bella. I don’t know what’s going on, and frankly it’s none of my goddamn business, but I need some fucking fuel if we’re gonna keep playing this little game of runaway bride.” He blows out a plume of smoke.
“Get on your bike. Cars are beginning to honk and you’re gonna get yourself arrested or killed,” I impart.
Looking behind me, he smiles and waves before turning his back and flipping the other group off. “We can do this all day,” he shifts his focus back to me, “but I’d rather not have to kick a ton of ass, or explain to my president why I’m behind bars and couldn’t keep watch on you. That would almost certainly be a death sentence for me, and, well, I’m not done living. So, turn around and into that gas station back there, or I can hog tie you and strap you to the back of my bike. Your choice,” he calmly explains while still puffing his tobacco as the onlookers grow more restless by the second.
“Fine,” I spit out, “but you might just find yourself in hot water for giving a shit about me.”
“That’s a risk I’m willing to take seeing as I wasn’t relieved of my detail duties, ma’am.” He taps the hood of my car. “Now, let’s do this.”
Grudgingly, I turn my vehicle around on this small two-lane highway as the crowd we’ve gathered honks and hollers out profanities. “Yeah, yeah. Fuck you, too,” I mumble from inside as I drive past them and pull into the parking lot of the convenience store. Turning my car off once I pull into a parking space, I inhale deeply then slowly let it leave my lungs. In my rearview mirror, I watch as PeeWee shuts down his bike and marches around it, grabbing the gas pump and inserting it into his tank. Even with his sunglasses snugly in place, I can feel his displeased gaze directed at me. “Yeah, you can take a flying leap as well,” I mutter into the silenced vehicle. As I sit here, I begin contemplating my future and what I’ll do if Rogue sends me packing. I sold my house, quit my job, all in the hopes that I’d finally have the future I’ve desired so long with the man who holds my heart in the clutch of his hand. “I’ve started over before; I can do it again.” Mentally, I begin calculating all of my earnings that have been sitting in my bank account earning interest. Rogue, always the provider, hasn’t allowed me to spend a single dime of my own on anything. He added my name to his accounts, tossed me a card and grunted out the demand that I only use what he’s provided me. “Stubborn fuck.”
Lost in thought, the heavy tapping on my window catches me off guard and a shriek leaves my windpipe. Rolling down my window, I glare at him for his rude interruption. Ignoring my mini freak out he inquires, “So, we heading back to the club’s property now, or are we going on another field trip?”
“You know, PeeWee, I believe you were dubbed with the wrong road name. They should’ve given you the moniker of Crabby Pants,” I sass as I reach over and turn the key, bringing my engine to life. “Not the clubhouse as I’ve been dismissed from there for now. So, I suppose home is where we’re headed,” I announce as I put my car in reverse causing him to jump back. My frown turns into a smirk as I watch him sprint to his bike in order to catch up to me. Tossing my hand out the window as I exit the parking lot, I express with my middle finger exactly how I feel about his attitude where it comes to me.
On the drive back, I nearly have myself convinced that the best course of action for us all is for me to pack my bags and leave before I’m officially asked to. Then a revelation of sorts hits me like a sledgehammer to the solar plexus, this is what I do; what I’ve always done. When the going gets tough, when my feelings are at an all-time high, I haul ass. It’s always laced with good intentions, or so I’ve convinced myself, but it’s really the selfishness, self-preservation, parts of me that win out. But this time, it's not just myself that needs me to stay and fight… it's the men in my life that need me to dig deep
and face up to the consequences. All of the would haves and should haves are a thing of the past, unless I find a time machine, there’s no taking back the choices I ultimately made. Each decision was made with good intentions; I wanted to protect all of the parties involved, instead, it looks like I’ve made a real cluster fuck out of things.
Rogue
“Ready for them?” Bane pokes his head in my office, asking me impatiently.
It’s almost laughable at this point, and if it weren’t for the possible danger lurking somewhere out there in the shadows, it would be. At least then I could take a moment and pause, reflect on everything life has thrown at me in an attempt to bring me to my knees. But, no, life has thrown me yet another curveball. The most bothersome part of it all, is that I will have to sit across from this young man, knowing I could’ve possibly fathered him, and not mutter a word. Oh, Bella has really screwed the fucking pooch with this one and I will have answers sooner rather than later once I deal with her.
My thoughts now scrambled and in disarray, I answer, “Let them in.”
Uneasy, I watch as Bane goes out and alerts them to my decision. “Rogue,” Gunner acknowledges me while straightening his cuff links as he enters. Trailing behind him is his club member, possibly my son. “This is Viper. He might not appear to be old enough upon first glance, but a solid young man who’s earned my trust over the past four years. Surely you remember him from our prior engagements?” Before I am given the opportunity to answer, in true Gunner business fashion, he continues, “Anyway, he’s become one of my most valued and trusted members. Almost like a son to me.”
Stopping any further communication, I stand, holding myself firmly in place by the palms of my hands now on my desk. His words only serve to aggravate me and I know that’s not his intention, but if I have any chance of keeping my temper under control, this kind of talk needs to halt, immediately. “Gunner,” I begin by showing my respect toward him and affirming his presence before I turn toward the young man he’s brought with him. “Viper.” I nod before shifting back toward Steel Empire’s president. “What brings you to Texas so suddenly? We just spoke last night, so excuse me if this comes as a surprise. Have a seat. Care for a drink? Maybe a cigar?” I offer.
Gunner and Viper both take seats. “No, but appreciate the hospitality,” Gunner begins, “Well, it seems that we might very well have an issue on our hands that could use some clarity. You see, I took this young man under my wing four years ago as I stated. Naturally, I do my usual research and gain as much knowledge as possible on any member or person I allow around or in my club. At first there were more questions than I could find answers for. But, the more I gained his trust and he opened up to me, I found that he was absolutely clueless as to who his father was. However, through my own investigations, I learned who his mother was, not that he kept that piece of information to himself, though. Yes, I’ve known for quite some time that Bella is his mother, and he knew that his father was potentially a biker.”
“And by biker, you are referring to me?” I abruptly and rudely stifle the remainder of his commentary. “Let’s cut the shit and get down to business. Not five minutes have passed since I just learned that this was even a remote possibility.” I shift my gaze to Viper. “And for you, I’m truly sorry. So, is that what’s brought you all the way here, today?”
Gunner nods. “That, plus with impending war on our hands, I suspect it’s best to have no secrets amongst our clubs. We need to be able to fully trust one another. Now, Viper here agrees and would like to know who his father is. Apologies that you’ve just learned of this scenario, and I’m certain you will handle this accordingly with… Bella, although that isn’t necessarily my concern. That’s between the two of you. Although as an ally, I do have a vested interest to a degree. And I’m sure from one president to another you can see why.”
“I can, and if it’s a paternity test we need, then so be it. Naturally, I want the same.” I turn to gauge Viper’s demeanor and judging by the nod in my direction it’s safe to say we are in agreement. Turning back to Gunner, I find myself doing something my stubborn side doesn’t agree with in the moment, but somehow knows it to be true and must be said, “Now, if you’re calling Bella’s loyalty into question, I can and will assure you on the spot that is not something to be concerned with. And before we get any further into this messy situation, because I recognize the worry you might have, I have known that woman damn near her entire life; and while I’m less than thrilled with this information, I can promise that in her mind somewhere, it made sense at the time.”
“Yeah? You might be able to defend her actions, and that’s fine for you, but imagine learning you were most likely the dirty secret kept from his family your entire life?” Viper speaks for the first time during this meeting and while hearing his voice stirs something inside me ready to defend my woman, I somehow understand his perception.
“I can somewhat relate. Keep in mind that this is all news to me as well. And, if true, I will know fully what it’s like having had family kept from me,” I rebut. “I need to speak with Bella and find out a few things. You two are more than welcome to stay here, we have a few spare rooms you can choose from. The liquor is good, the food is hot and the company is quirky,” I state with a chuckle, trying to lighten things up some. “Fox will keep you entertained, he’s our personal court jester.”
“We appreciate that, Rogue,” Gunner politely responds. “We’ll take you up on that, my hope is that you and Viper might be able to speak some, I do believe he has a few questions for you. Maybe once you acquire some answers, you could enlighten him on those things. I doubt he’ll be sitting down and speaking with his mother anytime in the near future.”
“I’ll meet up with you tomorrow morning over a cup of coffee,” I say with a tilted brow aimed in my boy’s direction. Others may need a DNA test as proof of our relation to one another, but to me, it’s as clear as looking at his face to know he’s mine. But, we’ll have one performed anyway.
Chapter Twelve
Rogue
Not even two minutes after Gunner and Viper walk out, there’s a light knock on my office door. “It’s open,” I call out, knowing there’s only one person who taps on my door that way.
“Hey, Daddy,” my little girl says as she walks through the doorway with Melodi sitting on her hip. “Little one here demands some Papa time,” she states as she brings my doodlebug to me for some lovings.
“Just what I needed,” I say to Outlaw as I bring Melodi closer, sniffing in her comforting baby smell.
“You're always sniffing her.” My girl chuckles as she takes a seat in front of the desk. “So, wanna share with me what’s going on? Don’t incite club business, because I know better. He’s yours isn’t he?”
“What makes you say that?” I apprehensively inquire, still trying to digest this information myself.
“It doesn’t take a genius to put together that he’s the spitting image of you, Daddy.” Melodi begins to babble, putting her own two cents into the conversation. Smiling down at her, I stall so that I can contemplate the best way to answer Harmony’s question. “Dad, just spit it out, I’m a big girl, I can take it.”
“I know you can, but I’m still trying to wrap my mind around it. I need to talk to Bella before I can give you any answers, kiddo.”
“Bella?” She gasps out her name. “You and Bella? He? Wait a minute, Bella’s his mom? Why didn’t she ever say something? I figured he was the product of one of your runs and a one-night stand, but Bella? Dad, I don’t understand, she’s family, he’s family, why wouldn’t she say anything?” The tears that choke her up as she stammers these questions out, makes the anger that had somewhat settled in my gut roar up in my chest.
“I don’t know, but I’m going to find out. Let me handle this, Harmony.” I hope this declaration of mine sinks into her head, I know she and Bella have a tight bonded relationship, and she’ll demand answers of her own, but I need to figure this out for myself befo
re she goes charging in like a bull in a china shop.
“I’ll see what I can do,” my stubborn girl says with her chin jutted up. “I’ll give it the night, Daddy, but I have questions of my own I’d like to gain answers to.”
“Appreciate that,” I say with a chuckle laced in my tone. “Now, I think you and Melodi need to find your old man and let me get outta here.”
“Come on, Mel, Papa needs to get going,” she coos to my granddaughter as she comes over and lifts her from the cradle of my arms. “Love you, Daddy,” she tells me as she leans over and pecks me on my cheek. Her lips on my skin take me back to the days when I was her world.
“Love you too, my little Outlaw. Now scoot, I’ve got an interrogation to get to,” I joke as I blow air kisses to my little angel, who’s snuggly nestled in my baby girl's arms.
As soon as the door quietly closes behind her, I go over to my liquor cabinet and place two fingerfuls of whiskey into a tumbler. I gulp it down in one shot then grab my keys and wallet off of my desk and head out. Along the way, I give head nods of acknowledgements to my men as they call out my name. I don’t stop for any small talk. As far as I’m concerned, I’m wearing a closed sign to all things business related.
Instead of heading straight home as I had anticipated, I took some side roads needing to clear my head before Bella and I have our conversation. Once I feel I’m more collected, I head home. When I pull up the driveway, I notice the curtains and blinds moving and know that she’s probably been pacing the floors, worried and anxious for my pending arrival. I should feel bad for making her wait so long, but I’m an asshole and can’t seem to locate my give a damn button. Taking my sweet time to turn off the ignition and dismount my bike, I light a cigarette and lean against the seat of my bike, staring at the house. I don’t catch the flicker of the blinds in the windows, but I’m sure her eye is glued to the peephole. It takes me seven minutes to sit back and smoke the entire stick. Not sure that it’s enough intimidation time, I decide to light up another one.
Rogue's Retribution: Twisted Iron MC Page 9