“Listen up.” I commanded my wife’s and daughter’s attention. “All this arguing and shit over a petty-ass grand ain’t nothing but a waste of time and driving a wedge between the two most important women in my life. This bullshit is stressful and unnecessary. Trinity, I need you to quit beating a dead horse when we spent double that last night on liquor. And, Porsha, I need for you to break down a full description on that scamming-ass nigga so I can go speak to him. Although I ain’t trying to go upside yo’ head like ya moms, I agree that you were too busy being all in his face to peep that he was hustling you. I won’t lie and say I am not disappointed in you, baby girl.”
“I know you are, and I’m sorry. I swear to God I’ll never be fooled like that again,” she apologized, but I needed her to understand it was bigger than her getting got for $1,000 of product. Ol’ boy had not popped up at our house for a band of weight when I was not home by chance.
“You better not,” Trinity added her two cents in. “Matter of fact, if you do slip up again, you better fear me more than God. You have too much responsibility in this family to be fucking up, and if this is how you are going to be out on your own, I will be burying your gullible ass sooner than I’ll be throwing you a baby shower. Do you not know or understand how thirsty these young muthafuckas are? Do you not know how jealous they are of your father’s longevity in the game? If you are weak and create a pathway for one of them to get to my husband, me, or even Benzie, then what? You have got to think with your head.”
Threatening our daughter like she was the creator of mankind, Trinity then turned and stomped out of the room without looking back. She knew her word was bond and it had better be respected.
“I’m sorry, Daddy.” Porsha’s voice cracked as she apologized to me again. Now that we were in the room alone, she was trying to soften me up, knowing I hated seeing her punished by my wife.
“Don’t be sorry, and quit saying that you are. There’s a difference between being sorry and being apologetic over a mistake. Got it?” I schooled her, ignoring her puppy-dog eyes pleading for me to take it easy on her.
She nodded, realizing my firmness. “Got it.”
“Good. Now I’ma need you to think back to last night and tell me everything that happened when ol’ boy came to cop some weight.”
Porsha started breaking down the rotation of fiends throughout the night, including one I gave credit to on a regular basis who she sent away. She’d followed each direction I’d given her to a T and was on her A game as far as I could tell, until ol’ boy came through and scammed her.
The hustler was light skinned, wore long dreads, was a little bit shorter than me, and had a deep voice. She also said he had a tattoo on his hand of a skeleton’s face. I chose not to ask her how she got to see a skeleton’s face so clearly in the dark. It was obvious she was paying closer attention to whoever the dude was than to the transaction.
“Look, Porsha, as much as you run around here reminding me and ya moms that you’re about to be grown, you sho’ in the fuck dropped the ball last night when it mattered. Age doesn’t mean shit if you ain’t got wisdom to accompany those years. That rookie mistake didn’t cost your friend, you, or Benzie any harm, but it could’ve. Just like me, ya moms, and my crew have run up on niggas and their families, they’ll do it to us if the right opportunity presents itself.” I lectured her with the raw truth.
Sitting on the edge of her bed with her elbows propped on her knees, Porsha was holding on to every word I spoke like there was going to be a quiz afterward. “I get it, Daddy. I didn’t think about all that, but I should have. I swear I’ve learned my lesson.”
Usually a firecracker like her mother, Porsha was completely docile and apologetic. Trinity probably knocked all the spunk up outta her.
In spite of her seeming like she’d learned her lesson, I continued drilling my point into Porsha’s membrane. Last night’s bullets might’ve not been meant for us, but they very well could have been. It was time for all of us to tighten our shit up around here.
“Make sure that you have. I ain’t coming down on you about the money, because you know that’s nothing to me, Porsha. It’s about you moving maturely and knowing another man’s move before he makes it. These young bucks coming up with you don’t operate how me and my gang did back in the day. They don’t abide by the same rules, morals, and street codes you’ve grown up witnessing with me, ya momma, and Fame. I’m trying to move all of y’all to the suburbs and turn this crib into the Carter, but until then, you gonna have to keep your hot ass outta these slum niggas’ faces, grinning and shit. I don’t want no more pitiful excuses why your brain didn’t work.”
“There won’t be another excuse. I swear.” Her voice cracked like she was about to cry. Even as a little girl, she hated for me to discipline her.
Trinity could spank on Porsha, curse her out, and dish out jail-like punishments better than a Republican warden in wingtip shoes, yet nothing crushed Porsha’s spirits like me telling her I was disappointed in her. There’s something about girls and their fathers. My daughter hated disappointing me just as much as I hated being hard on her. Even still, she needed some lessons the hard way to ensure the same mistake wouldn’t be twice made. The Jacksons weren’t known for living a hunky-dory lifestyle where our mistakes could be forgiven.
“A’ight, I’ma chill. Your word is all you have, and I’m expecting nothing less.” She was let off the hook, for now at least.
“Thank you, Daddy. This is the last time we’ll have this conversation, I promise.”
I nodded, then continued, “Just so you know, I’ll be taking care of the dread-head nigga, and you can erase him from your membrane.” Ol’ boy was as good as dead. Digging in my pocket, I gave her the keys to my Benz, which was a rarity. I usually chauffeured Porsha around. However, since she’d just gotten her license and was about to turn 18, I was trying to treat her more like an adult and less like an adolescent. She needed to know how to handle herself on her own, which she was only halfway proving to me she could do so far. “Drop Imani off at home, and come right back. Take Benzie with you and give ya friend one of those breakfast specials out of the kitchen. Make sure you heard every word I said, and take it to heart, Pooh Bear.”
She smiled at the nickname I had not called her since she begged me to stop when she turned 16. Jumping up, she ran up and gave me a hug as tightly as she did when she turned 8. That birthday, I’d come home with a Barbie DreamHouse and one of every doll in the aisle. “I love you, Daddy.”
“I love you too. Now g’on and do what I said the way I said it. I’ve gotta go calm yo’ momma down. Your carelessness done fucked around and ruined everyone’s morning.” I was truthful as I walked out of her room to find my wife. The heat may have been off of me temporarily, but the fire was still hot and going fa’ sho’.
CHAPTER 19
PORSHA
“I swear to God, I cannot wait until I turn eighteen. I do not care if I’ve gotta go to a shelter. I am going to be out of this jailhouse,” I muttered under my breath as soon as I heard him and Trinity talking and the focus was temporarily off me.
Moving with purpose around my room, I hurried up and got dressed before Trinity found out Calvin was letting me drive Imani home. I was rocking a tight pair of denim capris, a fitted shirt that had my name on it and was studded out, and a pair of customized Chuck Taylors. I could not chance seeing Street in a dingy pair of pajamas. As irked, confused, and sad as I was about Street not reaching back out to me after all my attempts, foolish or not, I was itching to see how he was going to act once I was in his face. My ego had taken a swift blow in less than twenty-four hours. It felt like a million butterflies were swarming through my stomach.
Scooping Benzie up on my hip, I waved for Imani to follow me, then flew to the car.
“Wow, I thought I had it bad at home.” Imani broke the silence between us once we got out the driveway. She called herself pitying me, and I thought that shit pissed me off worse than Street
not hitting me back.
“You do.” I rolled my eyes.
“That might be true, but you have got it hella bad. Trinity came through like Storm from X-Men on yo’ ass.”
“The apple does not fall too far from the tree, I heard.” I gave Imani the side-eye. “And you can save your jokes. Trin was on your head too, and you were speechless. You did not utter a single, solitary word or barely breathe after she told you to shut up. Keep it real, please. We both know you ain’t tough.”
“Girl, bye. You wouldn’t know if I was keeping it real or not. You ain’t out here spotting real ones,” Imani clowned me, then burst out laughing. Her bad joke was a direct reference to me accepting counterfeit bills.
“Okay, you’ve got me. That was too easy. I quit,” I gave in, laughing as well.
It didn’t take long to get to Imani’s house. That was probably why my daddy let me whip his Benz. I got to run simple errands every once in a while, but never with my homegirl in the passenger seat. It was a shame that I could not bend corners and floss with her, but I was not about to take the chance of pissing my parents off twice in the same day. My plan for today was to stay under the radar with Benzie, my headphones, and my phone.
The block and the field were both dry as hell. Even the trap house was dead. Driving past, I looked up in the driveway as hard as I could, trying to see if Street’s car was in the back.
“Wow, Elvin must have dumped some helluva dick off in your guts,” Imani called me out.
“Hell yeah, he did. That nigga’s dick was so big, it was in my stomach. I cannot wait until we hook back up again.” My shattered ego would not allow me to tell her the truth about last night.
“Damn! Say word up?” She started celebrating for me in the passenger seat. “Why didn’t you tell me? I am going to need all the details once you get home and have Trinity off your back. I want the story blow-by-blow of how that nigga’s sex game works.” She seemed too eager. We’d both made out with boys, but I was the first between us to have gone all the way. Nikola had been fuckin’.
“I’ll see what I can do.” I popped my collar. “I might be too busy texting him after giving him all this good-good, but I’ll hit you up and probably be over later with a blunt,” I laughed, feeling myself. I was stunting hard, but it was true that I felt different since my V-card was cashed in.
She burst out laughing. “Girl, you are funny as hell. That nigga is not about to be checking for you no harder than he been doing. If it ain’t Jamika’s hot-and-ready ass popping up over here cum chasing, it’s between two other girls. Your man is for everybody.”
I was not trying to hear Imani’s rundown of Street’s playboy antics when he’d been telling me he was trapping twenty-four hours a day. “Ugh, why are you being such a crabby bitch about my glory?” I questioned with my nose flared and my face twisted.
“It ain’t hating when you are keeping it real. I thought that’s what real friends do.”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever. You are being a hater, but it’s all good. I ain’t worried about you or any other trick out in these Detroit streets who are jealous of me.” It was not my intention to snap on Imani, especially since she was only keeping it real with me as her best friend, but my ego could not handle any more blows. It was bad enough Street had been ducking me. I was not trying to hear about him entertaining other females. In my mind, he was my man, so I was territorial.
“Wow, Porsha. Of all the years of us knowing each other and being best friends, I never thought you would get dick dizzy. Especially after your first dose,” Imani snapped.
“Come for me one more time and I’ma pop you in the mouth,” I half-jokingly responded, kind of feeling some type of way about her calling me dick dizzy. I was mad about it.
“Okay, well, I think that is my cue to get out of Calvin’s car before we get into it for real.”
“That’s the realest shit you have said since you started talking.”
She looked at me like she wanted to clap back but chose not to. Making the right decision, Imani got out of the car, retrieved her bag of hand-me-downs I blessed her with along with her Coney Island breakfast, and then gave Benzie a kiss goodbye. I was wrong and I knew it, but I was stuck in my feelings and refused to humble myself. She and Nikola were used to me being a bitch and apologizing later for it. I went to grandstand and pull off, but I heard her mother call out my name before I got the chance to shift the gear into drive.
“Excuse me, little girl. What’s up with you getting this wig of mine together?” She pointed to the hair standing wild on top of her head.
There was a lot of stuff on my mind, to say the least. I had totally forgotten about the arrangement we agreed upon for Imani to come over. “My bad. I know we had a deal, but I’ve gotta get right back home before my momma be ’round here snatching me up outta ya head. I’ve got strict directions to bring my ass right back home. Excuse my language, but that’s what she said. Do not worry, though. I’ve got you.” I was only temporarily blowing her off.
“Aw hell naw, heifer. You promised me yesterday a hairdo when your best friend came home. She’s home, so you owe me. If you cannot make good on your promise now, you are gonna have to add on another free hairdo.” Her mother was trying to play me.
“Fine, whatever. I will call Imani so she can tell you what time I’ll be back around here.” I did not wait for her to respond before I pulled off.
Riding back past the trap this time, I saw Street’s car parked in front. I started getting butterflies until I pulled on the side of the car and saw Jamika in the passenger seat. Being a drama queen, I rubbed my eyes then popped them open as wide as they could go. “I know my muthafuckin’ eyes be playing tricks on me,” I shouted.
“Porsh say a bad word,” Benzie cooed from the back seat.
“Dang, I forgot you were back there, little brother. But cover your ears. I’ve got to be a superhero for a second.” I wasn’t about to go smooth on Street.
I looked back over at Street, and he had the nerve to smirk at me and then mouth to Jamika for her to sit still. That got me even more heated. If Jamika wanted all the smoke, I was hot enough to give her third-degree burns. I was so mad that I could not contain myself. I leaped out and acted like my momma. I went hard in the paint on that nigga. I called him every liar, deceiver, manipulator, and fake-ass hustler I could think of. When none of those words dragged him from the car, I started pounding on the window like a police officer with a warrant.
Finally, Street got out and put me in my place quicker than Trinity and Calvin ever did. Yanking me up by my shirt, he backed me up to my dad’s car and slammed me across the hood of it. This was the second time in less than twenty-four hours Street put his hands on me. According to my dad, it only took three times to make something a habit. Hmmm . . . I couldn’t think about how I was gonna handle the future ’cause I had to defend myself in the now.
“Yo, like I told you last night, you better quit muthafuckin’ testing yo’ limits with me. I ain’t one of them niggas you take notes next to in class, so you better do some more studying on how to handle a nigga on my level.”
I heard Jamika laughing at our interaction. I couldn’t wait until he let me go. Instead of trying to tussle or fight back with him, I calmed down and manipulated the situation. I might’ve not been able to win a battle with him. But I was gonna fa’ damn sho’ claw Jamika’s face up. With the foul intention in my mind, I thought the next time Street looked at Jamika would be the last.
After I agreed to quit tripping, get the hell off the block, and answer my phone later when he called, Street finally let me go. I took a few seconds to massage my neck and stomach from where he’d been applying weight and pressure, then ducked past him toward ol’ girl anyway.
Jumping in the driver’s seat of his car with my fist in front of me, I landed a mighty blow between her eyes and temporarily disabled her and gave me time to climb over the console. I was going for the trick’s jugular.
“Snap out of
it, bitch, and take this ass whooping.” I slapped her face a few times, then felt her muscling up to defend herself.
“Fuck you, little girl.” She grabbed my ponytail and snatched my head back.
Before she could get another good hit off, I threw up my arm to shield my face, then headbutted her. I instantly thought about Benzie and knew I needed to hurry up and get this beatdown over. So I started scratching the skin off her face. I literally felt her dirty, clogged skin underneath my nails as I clawed away at her beauty. I was giving her a makeover that A&D ointment would not be able to fix. It felt like an eternity before Street finally opened the door and pulled me off of her.
“You’s a dumb ho. You see how long it took him to get me off you? He cares about this outdated-ass Impala more than he cares about yo’ trifle-life ass.” I bullied her even more, then spit directly in her face. Street was barely holding me back. And when I went to run back to my dad’s car, there was not a fight to breakaway. I had called it right. He did not care about Jamika. She was simply a convenient jump off because I was not old enough to be on call. But even still, he’d proved I was not worth the wait.
“You already know I’ma blow ya shit up, nigga. If it’s fuck me, you already know it’s fuck you!” I shouted.
Benzie’s face was covered in tears as he screamed and cried. I instantly felt bad for having him out here witnessing all this drama. I needed to get off the block so I could grieve in peace. I had given a lot to Street’s disloyal ass, and he was playing me the whole time. He’d been a cancer to me, and I hadn’t recognized the symptoms.
I slammed my foot on the gas pedal and recklessly flew up the street like a rocket. It was only by the grace of God that I did not get into an accident.
CHAPTER 20
CALVIN
“I know you’ve got different parenting techniques than I do, but you’re way too fuckin’ soft on Porsha.” Trinity stood across from me, complaining, gripping the neck of the Tito’s bottle like she was two seconds from slinging it at me. “All the years we’ve gone without being crept on, and these young niggas see her dumb ass for a fool and make a move on us. I swear to God, Cal, that precious daughter of yours is going to be our downfall.”
Shorty Gotta Be Grown Page 14