“Love of his life?” Nathan laughs humorlessly. Courtney tenses up, her face smoothing into an impassive stare, so at odds with the camaraderie I thought they had between them.
“Nathan,” Courtney starts, but dad raises a hand as if to silence her. I watch, horrified as she snaps her jaw shut almost immediately.
“Amy, my Princess…” dad starts but I cut him off, bile rising up my throat.
“I’m not your princess and my name’s not Amy,”
“Well, sure,” he mutters, a dark look still in his eyes. “You see, Mia, ever since that bitch got sick, I’ve noticed these… occasional lapses in you, these unwanted tendencies… it’s as if you’ve completely forgotten what I taught you.”
What he taught me?
“Yes, all the time you spent with that bitch, Nancy while I ran around trying to keep afloat made you forget,” he says, studying me. “And yet you were doing so well, even going above and beyond my expectations even though you ended up being used by those….” he trails off suddenly when Courtney makes an almost growling sound. “Well, it doesn’t matter now, does it, Princess? This turned out much better than we ever planned.”
This turned out better than he planned? No…
“I…” I stutter, then clear my voice, ignoring the fear. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“But you do, Amy!” he cheers, eyes wide now with excitement. “You’re so brilliant at everything, even more amazing when it comes to following instructions, your blurry memory aside, you are my greatest triumph. So, you must see why I wanted you to come back, don’t you?”
No, all I see is Nicky’s tear-stained face, her eyes wide but hard as I hear the pleading in her voice as she begged me to never let my father get to me the night Nancy died.
“I didn’t come here for you,” I manage to croak out, feeling nauseous.
“Really?” he mocks, clearly enjoying himself. “So why, pray tell, did you come back here for?”
Pray tell? The fuck does he think this is?
“I came here to talk to her,” I whisper. “I wanted her to…” I trail off, the words now trapped in my throat.
“You wanted her to do what? Maybe this is the time for negotiation after all, eh, Courtney?”
What I’ve been doing all along?
He’s looking at me now like he knows something that I should know but for the life of me, I have no idea what he’s doing. He takes another step toward me, looking bigger now, scarier, colder.
“Do you not remember, Princess?” This time, the way he says that term of endearment and the way he looks at me, makes me take another involuntary step back as I feel the full force of his anger that is no match for mine. In this moment, I’m staring at my father, the real Nathan Montague. The man who struck Nicky across the face while I watched from the background. The man who beat Nancy up too.
I gasp as images, though blurred and fuzzy at the edges, start playing in my mind like a bad movie and I realize immediately what’s happening to me.
I’m remembering.
But as soon as that realization dawns me, the more the gruesome images I see of Nancy crying in the bathroom, her lip busted, her eye black and blue, the more pain starts blooming in my head like nails are being pounded into my skull, making me wince.
“Ah,” Nathan smirks. “You’re remembering something now, aren’t you? Well, go easy. Whenever you try to do so, you’re awakening one hell of migraine that your doctors said would hurt you.”
Jesus Holy Christ, that hurts.
I wince again, then press a palm to the side of my head. My head has never bothered me before, but lately, I’ve felt pain there…but nothing compared to this.
“We’re wasting time. It’s obvious that you have to spell it out for her, Nath,” Courtney says from the back.
“Ah yes,” dad says wistfully. “You’re right. Time is of the essence. Maybe we’ll walk down memory lane another time but for the sake of time, I guess we need to hash this all out.”
I want to tell him to go to hell. I want to turn around and walk away, maybe there is hope after all. Maybe I’ll find a way to help Julian myself but first I need to hear what he has to say.
“What makes you think I’ll side with you?”
“The very fact that you’re here, willing to negotiate whatever it was you wanted to work out with Courtney here, tells me all I need to know,” Dad gloats. “You’re not so difficult to read.”
Yes, and that was the problem. I need a new game plan, desperately.
“Well then get on with it,” I snap but I guess something about my new found sass makes him pause. He stares at me for a long moment as if trying to decide how he’ll proceed with this.
“Hmm, you know what, I think you need more… convincing,” he says, his voice raising the hairs at the back of my neck. A shiver races down my spine and I stand up straight. What does he mean by that?
“Isn’t sending an innocent guy to hang, convincing enough?” I seethe and he chuckles.
“Sure, but I need to make sure you’ll follow through with everything I expect of you. I need to… purge out, whatever lies and deceits were fed into your mind, so now, let’s talk about developments.”
I freeze.
The way he says that has a sudden, visceral reaction through my mind and body that my knees weaken, my breath becomes labored and I feel like my vison is now hazy as the word repeats itself.
“Developments?” I croak, not knowing what’s happening to me or why I feel like I’ve just been submerged in a tub full of icy water.
“Yes, it’s been years since you last reported of any developments.”
Reported? Developments?
I’ll tell you what you need to know that has led us to this moment where I have to… cure these nonsensical lapses.”
I hate the way he says the word ‘lapses’ as if there’s something wrong with me, almost like I’m a computer and my programming is off, so he needs to fine tune me to meet his expectations. I look at him now and realize that I might not be wrong about that.
“And how to you propose on doing that, Nathan?” Courtney snaps. “You’re not a fucking magician. If you were, I’d imagine the first thing you’d delude yourself is thinking you can win against John with… her.”
She gives me a withering glare but there’s an emotion that crosses her eyes, but it’s gone before I can place it.
“Have some faith, Court,” Nathan says with a light chuckle. “She’s quite the tool already. You know what, I’ll let you in on a little secret. Amy’s been an effective tool against John for years now.”
What?
“What?” Courtney shrieks at the same time that I snap my head up to look at Nathan, eyes narrowed with confusion. “What are you talking about?”
“Ah, piqued your interest, didn’t I?” he says, looking proud of himself, meanwhile my stomach shrinks and flips, tightening viciously as I stare at him. “So, let’s try this, shall we? Mia, do you remember three years ago—well, almost four now—the summer you and your Nancy visited Paris? Do you remember the development you reported to me right after?”
“Reported to you?”
“Try to catch up, will you,” Nathan mocks then looks at me now. “Do you remember now?”
How could I forget? The days after we got back, Nancy just seemed strange, dejected, and out of it. But that’s not what I remember most. Something else happened… the week before the first day of high school…
“What happened that day, Amy?”
I completely miss him calling me by that name because now my mind is stuck on that horrid morning when all hell broke loose in my life. I can just about recall finding Nancy, her body folded within itself as she shivered violently on the shower floor. It didn’t register in my head that she had collapsed, all I knew was… it was a development and I had to call…
No… no way.
“Well done, Princess! You’ve been my faithful informant, telling me the ins and outs of your m
other and aunt’s lives,” Nathan gloats. “Oh, and by the way, did you know that you referring to Nancy as your mother practically drove your real mother, Nicky to depression?”
“What?”
He laughs then, this time, it’s as genuine as the tearing of my heart.
“Oh yeah, that was the best revenge I could ever inflict on that bitch!”
No…
“But all that’s to say, three, maybe four years ago, you told me what happened in Paris—when you saw Nancy kissing another man who you should now know was John. You told me all the developments in your mother’s life and when she got sick and you called the ambulance, who did you see at the hospital, Princess?”
This is insane. There’s no way this is real.
“I didn’t see…”
“Of course, you did, Princess and I knew you would see them because I knew that broken, down syndrome son of his would be there as well. I knew it was a matter of time until you caught wind of that.”
“No!” Treacherous tears start running down my face as I listen.
“I arranged the paparazzi, the perfect setting, everything because I knew, you wouldn’t disappoint.”
“I shake my head mutely, as the tears run down my face.
“You were away,” I croak, and he laughs.
“I was in Vegas, my Princess, a short flight back to Palos, you know that.”
“But…” I stutter. “How could you….”
“Well, this might sound indelicate, but I need you to get a grip and remember. This isn’t fun if I’m the only one who knows everything!”
I want to scream that I don’t remember anything. I want to cry and kick up a fuss, but that’s not true because even now as he speaks, all I remember is the phone call. I remember he gave me instructions to follow. I remember how he made me swear to follow his every direction that I had to do whatever was necessary to get the information I needed.
“Oh well, it looks like you don’t remember, so…” Nathan starts but it’s pointless. I remember.
“Princess, when you see an angry boy, talk to him. Find out who he’s here for. The rest will take care of itself.”
I almost stagger backward, but I can’t move. From my peripherals I notice Courtney’s jaw is slack, her eyes wide, but her fists are clenched tight at her sides as she stares between my father and I, no doubt coming to same conclusion that I have come to ass well.
“It was you?” Courtney gasps. “You set…”
“You’re damn right it was me,” Nathans says with a smirk. “I set the Fitzgerald name ablaze; with the help of my daughter of course.”
No… I stand there frozen, thinking that all of this is some kind of sick, twisted story but I can hear the truth in everything he’s saying. But not only that, I can hear faint whispers of conversations, spying from hidden corners, looking up at Nathan like… he was going to hurt me.
“You…” I whisper brokenly, staring at my father. “You did this to me.”
Suddenly everything Nicky said now makes sense.
“You were four years old the first time it happened.”
“He hurt you really bad…”
“These are the kinds of memories you’ve suppressed…”
“I did nothing to you, Princess,” he says jovially. “You did all that yourself, so, now that we’re on that… let’s now discuss a way forward.”
A way forward…
I stand there meekly, staring at him with tunnel vision, as my mind races. It feels like my head is spinning. My heart is racing. My palms are sweaty and my grave has been dug, now ready for me to fall in, broken and bleeding, only to be buried alive by my own father.
I’m barely cognizant of what he’s saying, but suddenly, I’m fully aware that making a deal with my father, is the last thing I’ll ever do.
“No.”
The whispered word seems to echo in the room. Silence stretches between the three of us. I notice Courtney watch me with something in her eyes, her fusts clenched, her eyes narrowed on my father. And as for my father, he halts his pacing—I didn’t even realize he was doing that—and turns sharply to stare at me, his face clouding with anger.
“What?” he demands, making me shiver but I don’t back down.
“I said no,” I hiss, holding his gaze, playing the game. “You can stand there and dictate your revenge list to me, but I’m not going to do any of that.”
“What?”
“It’s either you do things my way, or I walk out of here, either way, it seems to me like you need me more than I need you.”
There. Checkmate, bitches!
“Aww, Mia,” Nathan says, his voice low and hard. “I really wish you didn’t have to make this any harder than it has to be.”
10
Mia
Present time.
I feel my hair being smoothed out, pulled back softly as I come to, my consciousness filtering in as slow as before.
At first, I feel like I’m in a bit of Heaven, time is irrelevant as I feel the gentle touch, soothing me but all too soon, the bubble burst as I hear my name being called in an urgent voice.
“Mia.”
I want to roll over onto my side and fall back into slumber. In the dark abyss, there’s nothing but goodness and some semblance of peace. Nothing else seems to matter and nothing is real.
“Damn you, Mia!”
See, I’ve been friends with the dark for a long time, it understands me and knows me. Why would I bother waking up again?
“Mia, wake up for fuck’s sake.”
This time, my eyes snap open at the vehemence of those words.
Blinking, I look up and stare confused into a face that’s peering down at me with wild curiosity, fear and something else I can’t place as I come to.
“Oh, thank God,” the person breathes. “I thought you were dead.”
I groan and then try to get up, but the pain snaps my awareness back into action and I groan.
“No, don’t try to get up and don’t make a fucking sound, Ice Queen,” the girl whispers hotly, looking around as she tries to stabilize me, pushing me to lie back again. “You don’t want them to know you’re awake.”
Them? Ah yes, the assholes who hurt me.
“Where… where am I?” I croak, my teeth still chattering but I no longer feel the cold gusts of wind blowing over my body from before. “What happened to me?”
“Ah man, I fucking told you this would happen,” the girl says nervously and angrily at the same time. Like she’s pretty pissed at me. “You’re so fucking dumb, Mia, I told you to stay away and get out of this town because when they find ally find you….”
I look at her through barely open eyelids, not really seeing her face as it’s cast in shadows. But here voice though, is extremely familiar. She’s the girl I heard speaking—pleading really—when I was lying on the floor of the freezer, but more than that, she seems to know me.
But why can’t I remember her name?
Why are my thoughts sluggishly slow and impossible to piece anything together.
“Who…who are you?” I sound like drunk, old trucker with lung problems and on my way for dialysis at a crappy hospital, grumbling about shitty healthcare.
“Fuck, your memory is shit too,” the girl says. “Probably due to that nasty head bash. The drug they gave you to knock you out isn’t helping either.”
I try to move again, only then realizing that I’m lying on some dingy, old bed, with a thin sheet covering my body.
I’m still cold, but at least I’m not as naked as I was before.
“Did… did you do this?” I say, tugging at the sheet with numb, stiff fingers at the sheet, painfully aware that beneath this thin layer, I’m naked. I can still smell the blood on me, and now that I’m not in the freezer, some of my nerve endings are thawing and with that… agony.
I moan, tears welling up in my eyes.
“Shh,” the girl says. “I know you’re used to bringing attention to yourself but for once stop
or you’ll get both of us killed in this slaughterhouse.”
Slaughterhouse? Jesus Christ.
“And just because I covered you, don’t go thinking it’s some kind of kind gesture or anything, bitch,” she whispers. “I just grew sick and tired of watching your naked ass shiver and twitch every few seconds while you were knocked out.”
She’s rude this girl, just like someone else I—
“Kristine?” I croak out, hardly believing that it’s her.
“Bingo!” she says sarcastically, her voice still slightly trembling with fear and so damn low. “It’s good to know you don’t stay down for long.”
“What-t are you d-doing h-here?” I stutter, my teeth chattering like the cold in trapped in my teeth and bones and there’s no way I’m ever going to be warm again. “Y-you shouldn’t b-be here.”
What is she doing here with them? With the people that hurt me, beat me up and threw me in some kind of industrial freezer to let me what? Cool down and die?
At my question, she looks down at me and the fear I see in her eyes chokes me up. She can’t even talk. I see her throat work as she opens her mouth to say something but quickly snaps it shut, her lips trembling as if she’s trying not to burst in tears.
“Kristine, where are we?” I ask softly, feeling like I’m talking to a wounded animal.
“In hell, Mia,” she whispers. “And this is all your fault!”
Not knowing what to say at first, I just blink up at her, my body shivering under the thin sheet, trying not to make a sound as my teeth chatter.
“What do you mean?”
“You caused this when you came barging into my house that time when you should’ve been far away from this shitty gilded cage town, Ice Queen,” she whispers vehemently, looking over her shoulders as if her time is running out. “They knew someone came and they forced it out of me until I had no choice but to give you up.”
Forced it out of her?
She shifts and it’s then that I really see her appearance. I gasp, my jaw dropping open painfully as her face becomes a bit clearer.
“Oh Kristine,” I choke up and tears start falling down her face. Her battered, black, blue, and green face.
Bitter Kisses (It's Just High School Book 3) Page 9