Now, with Cash so close and yet so far, she lost that spunky spark. She couldn’t wrap a false bravado around herself without fear of pushing him away. If she lost this tenuous grasp she had on him, she would never have another chance with anyone.
Mates were rare in this part of the country. The Barnes family didn’t have any mated pairs as of right now. Ember couldn’t remember the last couple in her family who’d actually formed that kind of bond together. Sure, her grandparents loved one another, but she knew that was a kind of love that had been forged after years of forced interaction.
Others, like Baylee’s mother, hadn’t been so fortunate. Marjorie Barnes never had a good thing to say about the man who’d fathered her children, as if the man had nothing to do with Baylee or Jensen.
“I understand if you don’t want me to cause a scene,” Cash said. He glanced around, his gaze settling somewhere over her shoulder. “Do you want to smash some pumpkins instead?”
Ember couldn’t help but laugh. It bubbled out of her. Cash’s attention returned to her. A flash of light cascaded over his eyes as he watched her. She bit her lower lip and offered a smile as embarrassment heated her cheeks.
Still, Cash stared at her like he was seeing her for the first time. Ember didn’t want to move and break the magic of the moment. Had he finally realized that there was more to her than just her family name? Though a part of her held onto the hope that Cash could love her, she knew that this singular moment wouldn’t be enough to make him fall for her.
“I wouldn’t mind causing more destruction,” she said, softly.
Cash blinked and nodded several times. She wondered if he was buying a moment so he could get his thoughts in order. It warmed her to know that she had some sort of effect on him.
Together, they made their way toward the last pumpkins. Some were so large now that they came up to her knee. She lifted her foot and kicked through one, but when she tried to pull back, the pumpkin held onto her foot.
Cash laughed and knelt by the pumpkin. He tore away at the orange vegetable, his knuckles brushing her calf every time he ripped another chunk out. Once she was finally free, he stood and steadied her as she reclaimed her foot.
They stood there, his hand on her elbow and his heat spilling over her body. Ember looked up at him. The hollow ache in her chest demanded one thing. It begged her to rise onto her toes and kiss him. Her beast’s tail thumped, like her wildly pounding heart. All she had to do was reach across the last few inches between them.
“We shouldn’t do this,” Cash whispered.
She wound an arm around the back of his neck. “Oh, but we should.”
To her surprise, Cash didn’t resist as she pulled him down. His lips were soft against hers, almost unresponsive. Then, when she parted for him, a deep groan escaped him. He grabbed her by her hips and twisted her so that she was flush against his body as he deepened the kiss.
Ember opened and let him delve into her. She devoured him, savoring her first taste of her mate until he broke away. His chest heaved. He stared at her like she’d betrayed him. Her heart, so happy a moment ago, sank and shattered.
She ducked her head and turned away from him. “You’re right. That was…”
Wrong wasn’t the right word to say, though. Maybe Cash wanted to hear that, but she couldn’t bring herself to say it. It’d been wonderful, everything she’d dreamed of for the past three years. Her lips throbbed, eagerly awaiting more.
The imprint of his fingers on her hips remained to taunt her. She wanted to lean into him again, but feared he would keep pushing her away. It was becoming clear that Cash didn’t feel the same way. Only Ember had these deep-rooted feelings that she could not escape no matter how she tried.
Instead of pressing the subject, she asked him why he got into music. She asked why he didn’t take home any of his groupies. The tension bled away while Cash answered her questions. She teased him, elbowing him in the ribs when he confessed that he didn’t want fame for his music.
“What did you expect to happen? That sultry voice and the mysterious air you have is what every woman is looking for. You shouldn’t be so surprised that you have this many fangirls.”
The corner of his mouth lifted. “I needed an outlet. Booking shows in town gives me a reason to keep playing. When I’m onstage, no one can bother me. Baylee can’t barge into my room and interrupt me.”
Ember couldn’t help but smile. That seemed like her cousin.
“All I want to do is keep playing,” Cash said, wistfully. “It keeps my beast sane.”
She understood. After meeting his dragon in these same fields only a few nights ago, she knew why he needed something to placate his beast. If he didn’t have that music, then his beast would take control whenever his guard was down. She imagined it was an exhausting existence to bear.
“You know,” she said wistfully. She looked back at Cash and gave him a smile to soften her own embarrassment. “I always wanted to make my own music, too. I learned the hard way that I’m no good at it. I can’t compare to someone like you.”
“I doubt that. You have a beautiful voice.”
Ember stumbled, her feet twisting beneath her. She looked up at him like a stunned doe. “You really think so?”
“I think everything about you is beautiful. Your voice, your hair, even your stubbornness. You’re a dangerous temptation that I have been unable to forget.”
She swallowed. “If you’re trying to avoid me, then why are you here?”
Cash had appeared out of nowhere. She hadn’t invited him to spend time with her. They hadn’t run into one another on the street, like happened previously. Out here, in the middle of the Barnes fields, wasn’t exactly the kind of place where people happened upon one another.
He scratched the back of his head, but couldn’t look her in the eye. “Well, I was out. I saw you down here, by yourself.”
“You were flying over Barnes territory for what? The fun of it? You do realize my father is still out for Montoya blood, right?”
Cash’s eyes widened as his brows folded together in confusion. His face contained the wreck that was a dangerous epiphany.
Ember laughed. “You didn’t know?”
“I swear, you Barnes women are made of trouble. Why didn’t you lead with the fact that Callum Barnes is your father? That would have saved both of us a whole lot of trouble.”
That was the reason she hadn’t told him. If Cash had known that from the beginning, he would have stayed far away from her. Her father didn’t have a reputation for hurting Montoya dragons, but he was regarded as one of the strongest dragons in the area, and he now had a personal vendetta against the Montoyas.
Now the cat was out of the bag. She could no longer hide the truth. Now, Cash would never talk to her again. She might waste away just like Elliana had. Was it a painful death? Or would she cease to feel anything without an intact heart?
Cash ran a hand over his face, over his stubble, and finally, over his mouth. There were gears working behind his eyes, but she had no way of telling what he was thinking. His thoughts were his own.
“Well,” she said as she put her foot through another pumpkin. The destruction didn’t make her feel as good as she’d hoped. “It was nice knowing you. I will understand if you want to run away and never talk to me again.”
Cash groaned, a sound that turned into a growl.
She looked back at him. His eyes wavered with a vulnerability she’d never seen in him before. She froze, captivated by the moment. A flicker of hope returned.
“When will you stop lying to me?”
His words hit her so hard that she fell. She dropped to the ground and stared helplessly up at him. Jaw clenched, she swallowed and blinked back tears.
“When will you stop hurting me?” she asked, quietly.
Cash remained still. He said nothing.
Ember got to her feet. If Cash wasn’t going to say anything, then she was going to leave. She couldn’t sit here and bear his l
ook of betrayal when he was the one who’d hurt her. Just when she thought she’d made a breakthrough with him, their relationship tumbled backwards into the old hatred that the family feud had conjured.
She cursed Logan and Elliana for making this so difficult. If they’d never fallen for one another, then maybe Ember could have the romance she’d been looking forward to. All this time, she’d expected Cash to love her. She’d looked forward to the day when he finally saw her and everything she had to offer.
Now that she’d told him everything, he brushed it off as lies. Nothing would get through to this man.
Ember didn’t bother saying goodbye. She turned her back to him and kept walking. He didn’t try to stop her, either. That probably hurt the most.
8
Speak of the devil and he shall appear.
Ember slowed the moment she noticed her father standing outside her apartment door. He looked as though he’d come to check in on her and share the latest dad jokes, but she knew better. She hadn’t answered any of his calls, so now he would invade her life.
His face didn’t light up when he saw her. As if her stomach wasn’t already dragging along the sidewalk, it slumped a little lower. She gave him a tight-lipped smile that wasn’t meant to be inviting at all. It was the kind of smile one might give a stranger after making accidental eye-contact.
Because that’s what it felt like. Her father was a stranger to her. If he loved her, she couldn’t tell. She knew he wanted to control her life. He wanted to make sure she abided by his rules for living. That wasn’t love, though.
Love was what Baylee’s mom did for her. Love was showing up to Ember’s recitals. Love was accepting who she was without bringing up the many ways she failed to be a proper dragon.
“What’s up, Dad?” She kept her back to him as she unlocked the door that led up to her apartment.
He didn’t deserve a hug.
“Have you been so busy that you can’t answer at least one of my calls?”
Yup. She knew it. That was the only reason he’d visited.
“My rent went up,” she lied. “I’ve been picking up more shifts to cover the rent increase.”
“You could have just asked for help! You know we have the money to cover unexpected costs.”
Ember rolled her shoulders back. “The moment I accept your money, I’ll have to start listening to you.”
Callum laughed. Ember’s refusal to find a husband had always been a joking point between them. While Callum wanted her to find the kind of comfort that Marjorie had found with them, he wasn’t as pushy about it. Perhaps because he knew what it was like to lose people.
If only he could have been as understanding in other areas of her life.
“Settling down with a good man could make a world of difference for you,” Callum said as he rocked on his heels. He bounced like he hadn’t just laid the groundwork for a threat.
So much for being understanding.
“I could call Marjorie and have her get out her little black book.”
Ember cringed. “Do you even know what a little black book is? You basically insinuated that Marjorie slept with all the suitors.”
“Oh, well. You know what I meant. Marjorie has the numbers of all the single dragon men in the surrounding states and beyond. Let her pick a husband out for you, so you don’t have to pick up extra shifts at a bar just to pay rent.”
Ember hadn’t been aware of a clock counting down, but it had hit the final second and become an omen of doom. Her father wanted to start pressuring her to marry. She could tell that Callum was itching to close this chapter of her life and move on to the next.
That wasn’t his decision, though. She wouldn’t allow him to force her into anything.
His face scrunched up. He leaned into her and sniffed. She froze, knowing that she likely smelled of Cash. Would her father recognize Cash’s scent? Would he know that she’d been with a Montoya?
Well, she hadn’t been with Cash. Even though she really wished she could be.
“Back up,” she growled. Fire flickered in her throat.
Embers snapped and crackled, but didn’t turn into flames. She pursed her lips, her mouth suddenly dry after that display of failure.
Callum scowled at her. “What do you have to hide?”
She shoved the door open. “My privacy.”
Upon slamming the door in her father’s face, she leapt up the stairs out of fear that he would howl and knock the door off the hinges. It was the street-facing door. While he was out there, he had to behave himself. The risk of witnesses catching him acting like a barbarian was too high, and Ember had known that.
She ducked into her apartment and locked the second door behind her before putting her back to it and sliding to the floor. No matter how hard she fought, she couldn’t get ahold of what she wanted. Everything seemed too far out of reach, or too slippery to hold onto for more than a moment.
Her own guitar sat in the corner, nearly obscured by the couch. She noticed the neck sticking out from behind the couch and decided that no amount of fumbling with it could make her feel any worse than she already felt.
Music wasn’t enough anymore.
No note or chord could calm the rioting beast within him. It had stopped using words. He couldn’t understand anything other than pain and confusion. His hands trembled with the force of the monster thrashing inside him. Even if he wanted to play the guitar, it would end up a discordant mess anyway.
Cash went to the only other place away from his too-loud house that he could think of. He walked into town, to a small ranch home set back from the street, and let himself in. His mother, her curly hair piled high atop her head, worked away at a ball of dough on the countertop.
Cash waited in the kitchen entryway and watched his mother knead the dough. She paused and looked up even though he knew he hadn’t made a sound. A smile spread wide across her face. It revealed the lines of age that shifters never had.
His mother was human. After his father…well, after his father died, she moved into town and stayed out of dragon business. Cash liked to think that was how she’d managed to live such a happy life. She wasn’t caught up in the petty battles between Montoya and Barnes.
“What brings you out this way?” she asked as she enveloped him in a tight hug.
Somehow, she always managed to crush him, despite the fact that she was only a human. He blamed it on all the bread baking. Kneading dough had given her some gnarly muscles.
When she leaned back, he opened his mouth, and everything came tumbling out.
“I think I fucked up today.”
Felicity Montoya gave him a knowing smile. She backed up and patted a stool at the counter. “Tell me all about it while I finish these loaves.”
Cash explained everything that had happened in the past few weeks. Along the way, he realized he needed to visit his mother more. He couldn’t recall the last time he’d talked to her. A lot had happened, turning the Montoya family on its head.
She waved him off. “Tell me more about this lady you met. I’m more interested in the woman who finally managed to capture your attention than whatever machinations Quincy and Alice have going on. They’ve been trying to cut each other down at the knees for years.”
Cash sucked in a breath.
Ember.
What could he say about her? She had the most enticing smile he’d ever seen. It was never an act of seduction, but one of challenge. It was like she was always daring him to do something. He wondered if Baylee had gotten into trouble more than once because of something Ember had put her up to.
“She likes…music,” was all Cash could say.
His mother gave him a knowing look. It was completely unimpressed.
“Ember isn’t like any other woman I’ve met. I never get tired of her presence. Everything she does surprises me. I stepped in to help her with a guy who was getting out of hand, and she stomped on the guy’s instep while he was distracted.”
His mother lau
ghed so hard she had to pause and press her forehead to the flour-covered countertop for a moment to regain her composure.
“I’d like to meet this woman,” his mother said.
Cash stiffened. “We’re not dating, Mom. She’s a cousin of Gale’s girlfriend.”
Felicity wiped the flour from her forehead and fixed her son with another knowing look. She had always been able to see right through him. “No man talks about a woman like that if she doesn’t mean anything to him. I don’t care what you think your relationship is with her, I want you to see her more often. She’s going to make you happy.”
A trickle of cold slithered into his heart and filled his veins. He stared down at the messy counter. “I don’t think it’s going to be that easy.”
“Damn it, son. I thought I raised you better than your blood. What did you do?”
Though he wanted to deny it, he couldn’t lie to his mom. “I said some cruel things earlier. She caught me off guard. I didn’t know that Callum Barnes is her father. That’s…that’s not something that should have been brushed under the rug.”
“It sounds to me like she knew you might react a little strongly. You wouldn’t have this wonderful woman in your life if she’d led with that. You would have walked away and missed out on something potentially great.”
Cash wasn’t ready to hear what his mother was saying. To him, Felicity would never understand. She wasn’t a Montoya by blood. She wasn’t even a dragon. He’d done his best to keep her out of this fight after his father was killed.
His beast growled at him. It called him weak. Weakness ran in his blood. His father had been weak, too. Cash had watched the man die under Quincy’s foot. Instead of growing strong and bold, Cash had grown weak. He’d lost control of his life and his beast.
Maybe his beast stood a chance against Callum Barnes, but Cash didn’t.
Cash would always hide behind his beast. That was the cruel truth. He’d separated himself from his dragon so that he could hide. The beast took over when Cash no longer had the will to fight.
A Song of Destiny (Great Plains Dragon Feud Book 2) Page 5