by Darcy Burke
“I want you inside me,” she said.
“I was,” he argued with a smile.
Her heavy-lidded eyes slitted with impatience and lust. “Not that part of you. Your cock.”
She didn’t often use coarse language, but God, when she did, he nearly came undone. He prowled up over her body, lavishing kisses upon her flesh at intervals until he reached her breasts. There, he stopped and feasted on her until she writhed beneath him.
“You’re taking too long,” she said, breathless.
“The best things are worth waiting for.” He drew her nipple into his mouth, sucking hard for a moment before licking along her pearlescent skin. “I like it when you talk to me. And say things like ‘cock.’” He lifted his head and grinned at her.
One of her brows arched in that playful fashion he loved. Then she shoved at his shoulders, pushing him over and pinning him to the bed as she straddled his hips. “Put your cock in me now.”
“Yes, my love.” He grasped his shaft and positioned it at her sex. She lifted off him and covered his hand with hers, guiding him into her wet sheath. Bearing down, she covered him completely, drawing him deep into her sex. She closed her eyes, her body growing taut as he filled her.
Then she began to move. How he loved watching her like this—the slender column of her throat, the lines of deep pleasure etched into her face, the sway and bounce of her breasts as she pumped herself on him.
And then rapture claimed him. He gripped her hips and thrust up into her, losing himself in her sweet heat. She fell forward with a cry, grinding against him, bracing herself over him. He licked at her nipple, drawing her breast into his mouth, and she came apart around him.
Over and over, she bore down on him, her moans and whimpers driving him toward a climax that threatened to rip him in two. He held her tight as she collapsed over him, finishing with a rapid series of strokes and then cradling her close to his heart.
He kissed her temple, her cheek, her jawline. “I love you, Poppy.”
She lifted her head and looked at him. “I love you too, but is that enough?”
Chapter 6
The look of distress in Gabriel’s eyes spurred Poppy to lean down to kiss him. She pulled back and caressed his cheek.
“That didn’t come out quite right,” she said. She drew in a breath and tried to formulate the words she needed to say to properly convey her emotion. “What you said earlier—” She couldn’t bring herself to ask if he was truly heartbroken. “About having children—”
He slipped his hand into her hair and cupped her head. “Loving you, and you loving me, is all I need. If this is all we ever have, it is more than enough. More than anyone can hope for.”
Emotion clogged her throat so she could only nod. She kissed him again, finding comfort in his embrace. It had seemed so long since she’d done that. He turned with her so they lay facing each other on the bed.
She nuzzled close against his chest. “I don’t want to be melancholy about it anymore. I may always feel sad, but that can’t be the ruling emotion in my life. Hearing you say that just the two of us is enough makes me so happy.”
He tensed, and she wondered if she’d said something wrong. She pulled back so she could see his face. “What is it?”
“Would you consider fostering a child?”
Dinah and her baby instantly came to Poppy’s mind. “Yes. Did you have a child in mind?” She held her breath, wondering if he’d thought the same thing as she.
“I do. I did.” His brow creased. He pushed up and pulled the bedclothes back so they could slide beneath them. Then he sat against the headboard. “I need to tell you the entire truth about Dinah.”
She sat up and faced him. The covers settled around her waist, and a shiver twitched across her shoulders. “Can you reach my night rail?” she asked.
He slipped from the bed to fetch her garment, and she took the opportunity to marvel at his firm, rounded backside.
He helped her don the night rail before resituating himself in bed and continuing. “When I met Dinah at Hartwell House, it’s true that Mrs. Armstrong didn’t have space and that I wanted to help. What I neglected to tell you is that I’d hoped to persuade Dinah to allow us to raise her child. She’d already said she didn’t want it, so I thought I would be offering her a welcome alternative.” His gaze was heavy with regret. “That’s why I didn’t tell you about her coming to the cottage. I didn’t want to get your hopes up in the event she declined. Or worse—if something happened to her and the baby.”
“Oh, Gabriel.” She took his hand in hers, wanting to draw his anxiety away. “I considered this too. But I felt selfish even thinking of it.”
“Is it selfish if our need solves her dilemma?” he asked.
“I wouldn’t want her decision to be based on our need.”
“But she’d already decided she didn’t want the child.”
Poppy didn’t think she could make that decision, not before giving birth. “I have to think she’d regret giving the babe away. How can she not look at his or her face and fall instantly in love?”
He traced his thumb over her hand. “That’s what you would do.”
“I would already be in love,” she said softly. “From the moment I knew the babe was growing inside me, I would be lost.” She watched as apprehension darkened his eyes and lined his forehead. Reaching up with her free hand, she brushed her fingertips over his brow. “I know that frightens you—the specter of what could happen. But I can’t live in fear. We can’t.”
He nodded slowly. “I know that. Here.” He tapped his temple. “But here…” He lowered his hand to his chest and pressed his palm against his heart. “Anyway, I don’t think it matters as I believe she’s changed her mind. You were quite persuasive.”
She couldn’t tell from his tone how he felt about that. “Are you angry?”
“How can I be when my wife is the most thoughtful person in the world? That you would ignore your own desire to save a woman from a lifetime of possible regret is the epitome of kindness and selflessness.”
Poppy chewed her lower lip, suddenly worried about Dinah’s future, and more importantly, that of her baby’s. “I fear I will be the one to have regret,” she admitted quietly. When he looked at her in confusion, she explained. “Dinah wants to be an actress. How can that be a good life for her or her child?”
Gabriel’s dark gaze flickered with surprise. “I know nothing about the profession, but I imagine it’s difficult.”
“I tried to persuade her to stay at Hartwell House until the child is a bit older.”
“You’re hoping she’ll change her mind about becoming an actress in that time?”
“Or at least wait.” Poppy shook her head. “I don’t know. I just didn’t feel right trying to take the child, even with her saying she didn’t want to raise it.”
He tipped his head to the side, his thumb stilling on the back of Poppy’s hand. “What if we offered her an option? If she knew that her child would be well cared for—loved—she may choose that over bearing the burden on her own.”
His suggestion made perfect sense, but uncertainty lingered in her mind. “It still feels rather self-serving to me.”
He gently squeezed her hand, conveying his understanding and concern. “Whatever happens with Dinah, I want to help her. We will see her and the babe settled. Are we in agreement on that?”
She loved him so much. “We are.”
“And if Dinah does decide to raise her child, there are many other children who are in need of help. We will undoubtedly find one—or ten”—he flashed a smile—“to foster.”
Poppy leaned toward him and pressed her lips to his for a soft, lingering kiss. “Thank you,” she whispered as she pulled away. “I love you.”
“Not nearly as much as I love you, and don’t try to dispute that.”
She laughed softly. He always told her that. “I never do. Which isn’t to say I agree.” She gave him a saucy smile.
“Keep looking at me lik
e that, and I’m going to roll you over and show you just how much more I love you.”
Desire curled through her. “Promise?”
With a growl, he wrapped his arms around her and tumbled her back until she was flat against the mattress, his body covering hers.
“Wait,” she said, suddenly breathless and quite happy to be. “I’d like to go to Hartwell House tomorrow. It’s been too long.”
His eyes, dark with passion, softened. “Of course. I would love to take you—if you want me to.”
“There’s no one I’d rather go with.” She curled her arms around his neck and pressed her breasts up against his chest. “Now kiss me and whatever else you have planned.”
“With pleasure.” He grinned before claiming her mouth and stealing away thoughts of tomorrow.
As it happened, the weather did not allow them to visit Hartwell House the next day. Or the day after. Trapped inside due to snow, they had no trouble making the best of their time. Though they did venture out for a walk in the snow—and a snowball fight that deteriorated into rolling around in the snow, which necessitated a shared bath. It was a delightful two days, truly the best Poppy could recall in recent memory.
Before going to Hartwell House, Poppy made a visit to the cottage to see how Judith and Dinah had fared in the snow. Plus, she’d wanted to speak with Dinah about her choices.
Poppy waited for Dinah to eat the first of the lemon biscuits she’d brought before launching into her proposal. “Gabriel tells me you’ve changed your mind about raising the baby. That’s wonderful news.”
Seated in the chair by the fire, Dinah looked as though her belly was taking over her body. Though it had only been a few days since Poppy had seen her, she seemed markedly rounder. “Did he?” Dinah plucked up a second biscuit. “I said I was thinking about it. I haven’t decided for certain.”
“I still think you should,” Poppy said, choosing her next words carefully. “However, if you decide for any reason that you cannot be a mother to the child, Gabriel and I would be—”
Before she could finish, Dinah spoke. “You want my baby.”
Poppy hated the way that sounded, but it was true. She wanted a baby, and Dinah was going to have one. “We want to help you. And if that means raising your child as our own, we would be honored.”
“You made a rather persuasive argument as to why I should keep him.” Dinah laid her hand atop her belly. “Or her. But now you want me to give it to you?”
“No.” Poppy shook her head. “I still think you should keep him. Or her.”
“But if I don’t want to, you’ll take him. Or her.” She picked up a third biscuit and held it between her thumb and forefinger. “What sort of help will you give me?”
Poppy and Gabriel hadn’t discussed anything specific. “What would you want?”
“I’ve been thinking about what you said, about how being an actress might make motherhood difficult, especially since I don’t have any money to fall back on. I have to think of the babe as well as me.”
She really was changing her mind. Poppy’s stomach dropped through the floor. She hadn’t realized until that moment that she’d actually been hoping Dinah wouldn’t listen to her, that she’d want to leave the child. And, oh, didn’t that make Poppy the worst sort of person?
“Yes, you do,” Poppy said. “I’m glad to hear you’re considering it. As I said before, I’m sure you could live at Hartwell House. We’ll make room.” Or she could live here. Poppy would talk to Gabriel about it.
“I’m still not sure I want to live there. I’d rather do something more than learn to sew. I actually know how to sew…” She thrust the biscuit into her mouth and stared into the fire as she chewed.
Poppy had spent enough time with Dinah to know the young woman was smart. Judith had just told Poppy that Dinah had read A Midsummer Night’s Dream three times and was starting on her fourth. “Shall I bring you more Shakespeare to read?” Poppy offered.
Dinah swung her head back to look at Poppy, her eyes momentarily wide. “Yes. Please.”
An idea came to Poppy. “Dinah, do you know how to do sums?”
“I do.” Her brow furrowed. “Why?”
“I’ve long thought that Hartwell House should have its own school. Perhaps you could be the teacher.”
Dinah’s gaze moved from Poppy’s and became slightly unfocused. After a moment, she blinked. “I’ll think about it.”
Every time Poppy glimpsed what was probably the real woman buried beneath the burdens of her young life, Dinah shuttered herself. It was as if she’d practiced hiding and didn’t dare emerge.
Kindness. That was what she needed. And Poppy was determined to give it to her.
“Yes, you think about it,” Poppy said sunnily as she stood. “There are more lemon biscuits if you want them.”
Dinah sniggered. “Of course I will want them.” She looked up at Poppy. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. I’ll have a groom bring some Shakespeare.” Poppy would make a few selections from the library before leaving for Hartwell House. She bid farewell to Dinah and then to Judith.
A while later, she and Gabriel were on their way to Hartwell House. “Thank you for delaying our departure,” Poppy said, drawing the woolen blanket more securely about their laps as Gabriel drove the gig.
“What were you doing in the library?”
“Gathering more books for Dinah. She’s on her fourth reading of A Midsummer Night’s Dream, so I offered her something new.”
“Thoughtful of you, but that is unsurprising.” He tossed her a smile. “They were not troubled by the snow?”
Poppy shook her head. “Judith said Dinah even went outside.”
“That’s something.” It was, for she mostly stayed in the cottage even though her cough was completely gone.
“I spoke to her about the babe. She is strongly considering keeping it now. I encouraged her to do so.” She hesitated as she recalled her feelings of disappointment. She didn’t want to bring that up to Gabriel, not when she was trying so hard to have a positive outlook. Focusing on that instead, she continued, “I came up with an idea for Dinah. She is not keen on living at Hartwell House and learning to clean or cook or sew. She’s already worked as a maid, and that ended horribly.”
He slid her an inquisitive glance. “She told me she was a maid, but I don’t know what happened to her.”
“After being elevated to upstairs maid, she drew the unwanted attention of her employer. He didn’t give her the option of declining his advances.”
Gabriel’s jaw flexed, and his voice dropped to a low hum. “Who is he?”
“She didn’t tell me.” Poppy touched his sleeve. “Anyway, what would we do? It’s not as if he would wed her, and I can’t say I’d want him raising the child.”
“I could call him out. Or beat him silly.” He nodded. “Either would be satisfying.”
“My beloved to the rescue.” They exchanged a heated look.
“What was your idea?” he asked, turning her mind back to their conversation instead of how much she loved him.
“I was thinking about how much she likes to read, and how astounding it is that she loves Shakespeare. So I asked if she knew how to do sums. She does.”
“What’s going on in your shrewd mind?”
“We’ve discussed Hartwell House’s need for a teacher. Perhaps she could take the position.”
Gabriel looked over at her in open admiration. “Never say your sister has all the cleverest ideas. That’s positively inspired.”
Poppy sat taller in her seat. “Thank you. I hope Mrs. Armstrong is supportive.”
“I’m sure she will be. As you said, we’ve been talking about this for a while now. This is a perfect solution—Hartwell House has a need and so does Dinah.”
“She hasn’t agreed to the position yet. She’s thinking about it. I think she will.” Poppy couldn’t see how she could turn her back on such an opportunity.
“I’m sorry,”
he said softly, his gaze trained on the road ahead.
“Why?”
“Because it truly seems the baby will remain with her. Are you disappointed?”
“Yes,” she admitted. “I don’t want to be, but there’s no help for it. Still, I think it’s the right thing. And you’re right, we’ll find a child who needs us, and everything will turn out as it should.”
Gabriel didn’t respond, and they rode in silence the rest of the way to Hartwell House. When they arrived, Mrs. Armstrong was overjoyed to see Poppy.
“I’m so pleased to have you back again, my lady.” Mrs. Armstrong beamed at her. “We’ve much to discuss. But first, I must speak to his lordship.” She turned, grimacing, to Gabriel. “The snow caused a few new leaks. I just don’t know how much longer this poor house is going to keep standing. You do your best to fix what you can, but a refurbishment is needed, and there’s just no money.” She waved her hand. “Never mind that for now. Can you please take a look at the corner in the dining hall? It bore the worst of the damage.”
“I’ll see to it.” Gabriel took himself off.
Mrs. Armstrong turned to Poppy, her smile bright. “You are looking quite well. Are you?” Though her smile remained, lines fanned from her eyes and furrowed her brow.
“I am, thank you. I must apologize for staying away for so long. It was incredibly selfish of me.”
Mrs. Armstrong looped her arm through Poppy’s and led her from the entrance hall to her small sitting room to the left. Releasing Poppy’s arm, the older woman took her hand instead as she faced her. “You are anything but selfish. I can well imagine what you’ve been enduring.”
“You can?” Poppy had never talked to her about her troubles.
With a nod, Mrs. Armstrong motioned for Poppy to take one of the chairs near the hearth where a fire blazed. When Poppy was seated, Mrs. Armstrong sat in the other chair.
“Mr. Armstrong and I never had children.”
Poppy knew that, or at least that she and her husband didn’t have any living children. She realized she didn’t know the particulars. “Have you never even been pregnant?”