Her voice is soft and sleepy sounding as she leans into me. Not angry. Not upset.
I turn and pick her up, holding her close. I never thought I would let myself do this.
Care about a woman. Let her under my skin. Allow how she felt to affect me.
And now the need to know she’s safe is driving everything I do. Every decision I make.
Shelly doesn’t make me weak in the way I always thought a woman would, but she is my weakness.
And King knows it.
Knows I’m not like him.
Or my father.
And he’s going to use it against me.
I yank back the covers on my bed and lay Shelly down, intending to cover her up so she can get the sleep I know she needs.
But she pulls at me, taking me down with her. I’m exhausted. She’s exhausted.
But I will never deny this woman anything. If I can give it to her I will. No matter what it takes. What it costs me.
She undoes my pants and shoves at the waist, pushing them past my hips. “I need you.”
“You need to sleep, Sweetheart.” I don’t really mean it.
Because right now I need her to.
Shelly shimmies out of the pajama pants she changed into when she and Becca came inside. Her bare legs circle my waist as her hands press against my face. “Please, Shaun?”
I wanted this time to be a fucking event. A moment we would both remember.
And as I sink into her with nothing between us I realize it is.
It’s the first time I’ve felt the wet slide against my skin. I never wanted a woman to have anything to use against me, so I was careful to never give it to them.
I don’t know if Shelly’s on the pill.
Honestly I don’t care. Maybe I’m stupid. Maybe I’m crazy.
Maybe it’s both.
But I don’t think so.
I know what I am.
And I know Shelly is what I need. What I want.
“Shaun.”
The way she says my name as I fill her buries deep under my skin. Planting the soft sound into places that will never forget. I taste her mouth. Her skin. I want to remember it all.
Keep it all.
Because this is my girl.
Mine.
17
“HOW ARE YOU doing, honey?” Jill’s arms are strong and tight as they wrap around me the second I walk into her house.
The house she took from King. In his opinion anyway.
“I’m okay.” I lean back to look her in the eye. “How are you?”
She waves me off. “I’m just fine.” She gives me a warm smile. “Are you hungry? I was just getting ready to make us all some breakfast.” She lets me go without waiting for an answer and pulls Shaun inside. “This boy needs to eat before he goes to work.”
Shaun unhooks Hank’s leash. “I’m fine. You don’t need to worry about me.”
“That’s not true.” Jill loops her thin arm through one of his giant ones. “I worry about all my boys.”
I watch as the tiny slip of a woman all but drags Shaun toward the kitchen. Once they disappear around the corner I turn my attention to Kerri, who still looks a little rough. “Is she really okay?”
Kerri nods her head. “I think she’s actually happy about all this. She’s had company for two weeks straight and when Evan and I showed up last night she bounced around the house like we were having a slumber party. Made popcorn and everything.”
I didn’t know Jill before. I only met her after King went away.
But I’ve heard how she was.
I never want her to go back to that so I guess I’m glad she really isn’t upset, but it’s still a strange reaction to your abusive ex-husband being released from prison.
And then taking over another bike club.
King is what my parents would call a serpent.
And I wouldn’t fight them on that one.
He’s the fucking devil.
Too bad Kerri didn’t let him burn. Probably should have.
“How are you?” I wrap one arm around her and we walk to the kitchen where Evan and Shaun are both seated at the large island while Jill zips around the room pulling stuff from the fridge and pantry with a smile on her face.
Kerri huffs out a long breath. “I don’t know.” Her eyes rest on Evan. “Worried.”
I sort of know how she feels.
Evan would die for her. Put himself between her and anything that threatened to hurt her.
I’m pretty sure Shaun would do the same for me.
They’d also do it for each other.
No matter how you slice it, the men in our lives have a real high chance of getting hurt if this thing with King progresses.
And I’m pretty sure it will.
“Maybe we should go find him and kill him.” I lean in close even though we’re well out of earshot. “I have a gun and good aim.”
“I’ve seen you shoot. You go for the scrotum. He deserves a kill shot.” Kerri pulls her eyes from Evan to look my way. “And I would get to shoot him.” Her attention moves to Jill. “He hurt my mom.”
I shrug. “Technically we can both shoot him. I should just go first.”
“What are you two plotting?”
When I look up Shaun’s watching me. I give him a smile and the truth. “Murder.”
Tracker stands up. “Nobody gets to murder anyone.” He comes and pulls Kerri to sit beside him at the counter. “I need you two to trust us.”
“I trust you.” Jill doesn’t even turn around from the stove where she’s scrambling enough eggs to feed an army.
Tracker lifts his brows at Kerri. “See. Your momma knows we will handle this.”
“I believe you can handle it.” Kerri shrugs. “I just don’t think you should be the one to have all the fun.”
Shaun crooks his finger at me. “Come over here, Sweetheart.”
I only hesitate a minute. I really don’t mind that he’s a little bossy.
So am I.
I’ll let him boss me as long as I get to boss him back and so far I do. When I slip into the chair beside him, one heavy arm immediately comes around my shoulders and he leans in close. “Be careful today, okay?”
I nod. “When will you know what King’s up to?”
I don’t mind being here but this has to be a temporary thing. I can’t be shuttled from one place to another all summer long.
I need to go ho—
My heart sinks. I don’t have a home to go to.
King took it from me.
I don’t think Shaun minds having me at his place but it’s not really set up for all I need. Without a good sweaty workout here and there I tend to get a little high-strung.
And twitchy.
And mouthier.
“Gypsy and Wind are doing their best to find out as much as they can about King’s actual position within The Horsemen.” As Shaun speaks his thumb strokes against my shoulder in a steady back and forth slide.
“What if he’s found a way to take over? What happened to their old president?” I have so many questions and I know damn well Shaun doesn’t know the answer to any of them. If he did there’s a good chance I would still have a house and a workout room.
And a pink bed to fulfill all the worldly childhood fantasies my parents told me were a sign of the material greed brought on by that pesky devil I harbored.
They’d probably think it was divine intervention that my evil pink canopy bed died a fiery death.
Hank comes to sit beside me. He’s been more clingy than normal this morning. Probably because he can’t figure out where the fuck his Tempur-Pedic doggy bed went.
Must have also been a devil bed.
I should have brought it with me but silly girl that I am, I expected to get to go home soon.
Jill slides a pan full of eggs and a tray with bacon and toast in front of us. “Here you go kids.” She stands across from us at the island counter, nibbling a piece of bacon. “Do you want me to call my conta
ct at the police department and see what I can find out?”
We all stare at her.
Kerri’s the first one to speak. “You have a connection at the police department?”
“Well of course. I was married to a man they were investigating for human trafficking and theft and kidnapping and assault and...” She frowns, pausing as she counts across her fingers. “I know there’s more I just can’t think of it.”
“Domestic violence?” Kerri’s tone is icy.
Jill points at her. “That was another one.”
Evan wraps his arm around Kerri as she opens her mouth again and gives her a look that clamps her lips back together. “If you could call your contact with the police that would be really helpful.”
“Maybe I could get them to revoke his bail.” Jill looks off to one side, chewing her bacon thoughtfully. “Remember that time he showed up here?”
Kerri jumps up from her seat. “You didn’t tell me that piece of shit came here.”
I reach out and grab her arm, pulling her back down. “Simmer down. Your mom’s scheming.” I shoot Jill a grin. “Prouda you.”
“Thank you.” She smiles sweetly at me then turns back to her daughter. “Your father isn’t allowed to contact me. If he gets within 300 feet of me then he goes back to jail.”
“I saw him.” I lean back in my seat, feeling like maybe all this is just going to be a bump in the road.
One that requires an insurance claim, but houses can be rebuilt. We might even be able to make it out of this with no injuries. Everyone can get back to their lives. Kerri and I can enjoy our summer. Maybe go check out Cook’s food trucks.
Find a club to dance at that’s not owned by The Horsemen.
“I saw him too.” Shaun scoots his chair back. “Make sure you call your friend at the station as soon as you can.” He takes his plate and rinses it in the sink before sliding it into the dishwasher.
So polite. These boys are one hell of a contradiction. Every one of them.
He leans in close, resting one hand on my back. “I’ll call you at lunch.” He gives me a kiss, lingering just long enough I’m pretty sure everyone around us is uncomfortable. “Be careful.”
I nod.
He gives Hank a pat on the head before grabbing his keys and waving at the rest of the room. “Take care of my girl, Jill.”
“Will do.” Kerri’s mom waves until the front door closes behind him.
Evan immediately gets up and I hear the deadbolt click into place.
It seems so loud.
So impenetrable.
And it’s standing between me and Shaun. It bothers me.
What if someone was out there waiting for him and he tries to come back in but the door’s locked?
I hurry out to where Evan is standing at the front door, watching out the window. He turns and lifts a brow at me. “He’s fine. Made it to the car safe and sound.” He steps away from the window. “If it makes you feel better I don’t think King will go for Hawk. He wasn’t the driving force behind what happened.”
That doesn’t make me feel better. Clearly King has something against Hawk.
I have the burned out house to prove it.
“I don’t think King cares. I think his blame is equally distributed.” I turn to peek back into the kitchen. “But—”
“Don’t say it.” Tracker cuts me off. “I’m doing my best to keep my head, and thinking about that will make it impossible.”
I’m right.
King’s blame might not be completely evenly distributed. There are two people he might blame more than anyone for where he was.
Where he better be again.
“I brought my gun.” Shaun made me prove I could load it and work the safety before he agreed, but other than that it wasn’t a hard sell.
Evan nods. “Good.” He starts to walk away then pauses, turning back to me. “But for God’s sake don’t just aim for the dick.”
I thought it was awesome and point proving that I could annihilate an entire groin region in a few seconds.
Guess I’m the only one impressed by it. Everyone else is worried about killing instead of maiming.
I think a man without a dick would be a much sadder creature than a dead one, but that’s just me. What do I know?
“Fine.” I huff out a breath and grab my purse from the table in the entry. Probably should make sure I know where it is at all times, otherwise I won’t get to have any fun.
I stop after one step.
Could I actually shoot someone real?
Definitely in the dick.
But could I shoot to kill? Could I live with myself if I killed someone?
Could I live with myself if I didn’t?
“Fuck.” I keep it a whisper as I walk back to the kitchen where everyone is cleaning up our breakfast. My eyes immediately go to where Hank is licking a plate clean on the floor.
Oh shit.
Literally.
I rush to snatch the plate from him. “How much was on here?”
Evan’s eyes go wide. “Why?”
“People food gives him the screaming shits.” I stare down into Hank’s satisfaction-filled eyes.
“I’m sorry, Shells. I didn’t realize—” Tracker takes a step back like Hank’s butthole is going to immediately start shooting at him like he’s crossing enemy lines.
“Not your fault.” I lean down to scrub at Hanks jowly chin. “He puts those sad eyes on you and you just want to give him everything.” I stand up and open the back door. At least Jill’s yard is fenced. “You gotta stay outside now buddy. At least until you blow all that out of your system.”
Hank trots out, oblivious to the intestinal distress he’s about to experience.
Jill claps her hands together. “Can I get you kids to help me?”
Us kids. Jill would have made a great gathering house mom. The kind that ends up with all the neighborhood kids spread out on her floors eating homemade cookies and watching expanded cable TV.
But King took that from her. The man has taken so much from so many people.
He better pay it all back one day.
“I have a basement full of stuff that I’ve been going through and I would love to have some help shifting it all around and separating it into piles.”
I bet Jill’s planning a bonfire with all King’s olds stuff and there’s nothing I’d like more right now than to help her get that started. “I can totally help with that.”
Three hours later the four of us have moved every freaking thing in the basement at least twice. I’ve gone up to check on Hank every half hour or so. Make sure he’s got water and isn’t too miserable. The eggs hit about an hour ago and he was definitely regretting his life choices. “I’m gonna go check on Hank again. Be right back.”
I unlock the slider and push it open, stepping out on the patio and leaving the door open behind me. “Hankey boy. How you doin’?”
Nothing.
Hank must be over on the side of the house squeezing out what’s left of the bacon Evan fed him. I walk through the grass, watching where I step since Jill’s backyard is now littered with Hank-crafted landmines.
That Evan has to clean up.
“Hank buddy. You okay?” I reach the side yard and Hank isn’t there, but the gate leading to the front yard is open.
“Shit.” I didn’t even check to make sure it was closed before I let him out. On the plus side Hank isn’t much of a runner. He’s too big.
I hurry toward the open gate, my stomach twisting with panic. Hank doesn’t know where he is. There’s no way he could find his way back to Jill’s even if he wanted to.
I’m barely through the gate when I hear Hank growling. “Oh thank God.” I rush toward the sound so I can drag him back into the yard.
But Hank’s not alone.
“Hey, pussy cat.”
A very large, very scary man I’ve seen before stands on the other side of Hank. You can’t forget a face with a knife tattooed on it. But that’s n
ot the most important tattoo I notice on him.
The horse.
He’s a Horseman. That’s the stupid tattoo all those guys had on their neck at the club that night. It’s their club mark.
And he has a gun pointed right at me.
Well shit.
It’s a shame I left my purse in the house. I’d have had his dick shot off by now. All two inches of it.
I’m accurate like that.
“Who the fuck are you?” This guy needs to know I’m not the normal sort of chick who’s going to lose her shit over something like this. Maybe that will make him rethink this whole thing. Go back and tell King I’m probably not worth the effort.
He grins. “That mouth sounds as dirty as it acts.”
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” This isn’t a great situation. I know that. And unfortunately the best I can hope for right now is that Evan comes to find me before this guy tries to take me somewhere I’m not going to go.
Hopefully Evan’s smart enough to keep his gun on him.
Of course he is. I’m the one who thinks it belongs in a purse on the coffee table.
“Means I like how you use that dirty mouth.” His eyes move down my body. “Might have to let you use it on me the way I seen you use it on Hawk.”
Ew. God I wish I could shoot him in the dick right now.
I take a slow breath, trying to calm down so I can think my way through this. I can’t go anywhere with this guy, that much I know for sure.
But I’m not entirely confident I know how to keep that from happening without getting myself shot.
Hank’s growling amps up as tattoo face steps closer. “Shut your fucking dog up.”
Hank starts barking as he closes the gap even more. Tattoo face doesn’t give me a second chance. The gun pointed at me shifts.
And fires.
18
“HEY, SHAUN.”
I flip up my mask and lean back so I can see down at the ground where one of the foremen is yelling up at me. “Yup.”
“Call for you in the office.”
“Comin’ down now.” I’ve been busting ass all day, working through lunch, trying to get finished so I can get the fuck out of here and back to Shelly. I don’t like being away from her.
When I get into the trailer that serves as the site office the girl who handles all the calls lifts the receiver off the cradle and holds it out, pressing a button as I hold it up to my ear.
Hawk Wild (Lost Boys MC Book 2) Page 16