by Dan Hawley
“Ok,” Sam said, “let’s go see what all the fuss is about.”
From their vehicle, Samantha and Jason could see the lake, but it wasn’t until they dropped down off the parking lot and onto the trail that the true beauty of the lake struck them.
“Wow,” Samantha said.
She paused for a moment to take it in, halting Jason behind her.
“Gorgeous.”
She lingered a moment longer, then continued further towards the lake.
Even though there had been a few other vehicles in the lot, there was only one other couple down by the water—a middle-aged woman and her dog. The golden retriever was hard at work, discovering this scent and that, making sure to sniff every stone, log, and clump of grass. Its tail joyfully waved back and forth in the air, stopping only when the animal concentrated on a particularly interesting smell.
Jason and Samantha followed the trail along the lake’s bank, past the lady and her dog. The lady waved and the couple waved back. The yellow dog poked its head up for a moment to observe the new visitors, decided they were boring, and continued on its scent-finding journey.
Samantha and Jason stopped and turned towards the body of water. Jason removed the straps of his pack and took in the inspiring view. He set the bag down in the short grass and plunked himself down beside it on an old hemlock log, its trunk worn smooth by the rear ends of a thousand travelers. Sam pulled off her pack and sat down beside him.
A few feet ahead of them, the ground fell off into the shallow, sky-blue lake.
“I guess that’s why they call it Reflection Lake,” Samantha said.
The lake’s quiet surface acted as the perfect mirror for the monstrous peak of Mount Rainier, which resided just beyond the evergreen forest on the opposite side. A perfect doppelganger.
“A fitting name for sure. Not very inventive, though.”
Jason smiled at Samantha, hoping that things were ok again. She smiled back. She usually smiled easily, and even though Jason didn’t feel like the smile was fake, it certainly was a little forced.
“My brother would have liked it here,” Sam said.
“Toby?”
“No, my other brother.”
The sarcasm was thick as she rolled her eyes.
“I just meant,” Jason began, “he wasn’t really the outdoors type. That’s all.”
Jason slowly traced lines into the dirt with his shoes. “Just because he didn’t want to join you and your hick buddies to go kill defenseless animals doesn’t mean he didn’t like the outdoors,” Samantha said.
Toby was a touchy subject, so Jason kept quiet and continued to trace his lines.
“I just miss him, that’s all.”
Samantha inhaled a deep breath and enjoyed the sun on her skin. A smile spread across her face as she remembered her brother.
“He was a good guy,” Jason said. “It’s a shame.”
He took in a breath and stood up.
“Shall we explore some trails?”
Jason turned to Sam, extended his hand, and bowed slightly in the knightliest way he knew how. She took his hand and used his weight to pull herself up from her wooden seat. The sudden strain almost set him off balance, but he quickly recovered.
“Let’s do it.”
They slipped their packs onto their backs and headed out into the wilderness.
Branches broke the sunlight into a thousand pieces as it fell to the forest floor. Shadows danced on the gravel path as Jason and Samantha navigated along the well-manicured trail. Pine needles quietly rustled as the cool breeze gently caressed them with endless ebbs and flows.
Small streams fed from waterfalls created by spring thaw gurgled and splashed in the distance. Jason listened as the forest’s smooth ambiance was constantly interrupted by a soft tweet from a bird or sporadic chatter from a cautious squirrel.
The forest teemed with life—a stark contrast to the city’s concrete, metal, and plastic. And not a moment’s peace from the noise. The traffic, the gadgets, the…hum. And even with all those people there…they didn’t seem alive.
Jason wasn’t thinking of the thousands in Seattle who had died in the past two months from the coronavirus. He was thinking about all the people who seemed dead on the inside. You know, the ones with the blank look in their eyes and muted energy. Those people who are just killing time, going through the motions until death claimed their bodies to join their minds.
Jason shivered.
“He was a good guy,” Samantha said.
Jason figured her thoughts were still dwelling on her brother; deep in thought, she hadn’t said a word since they left the lake twenty minutes prior. Jason learned a while ago that it was best to let her have that time and wait for her to talk when she was ready.
“But so unhappy,” she continued. “So fundamentally unhappy. On the outside, it looked like he had everything: a family who loved him, a decent job, a cute boyfriend. He had food and shelter and love! He basically had everything! Sad, selfish bastard.” Samantha spoke in heated tones, but she didn’t cry. She had no more tears left for him. Samantha wasn’t even angry at Toby anymore. She just felt empty about it, like a question that would never be answered, a space too large to fill. Sam would never know why her brother took his own life; she could only speculate. “Maybe he never really got over being bullied. You know, about being gay,” Jason said.
He knew to pick his words carefully. Even though he would never want to hurt Samantha’s feelings intentionally, sometimes, he just did.
If he worded a thought in a certain way or said something dumb without thinking it through first, he would pay for it. He just wanted to help; to be there for her. After Toby hung himself, Jason quickly realized that it was usually best to say very little about it.
“Maybe,” Samantha said.
She had thought about all the whys a thousand times.
“But we were always supportive, our family. We suspected it anyway, years before he came out. When he did come out to us, we kind of just shrugged and said ok. The people who mattered loved him. Accepted him.”
Samantha and Jason’s pace through the woods slowed as they talked.
“Those fuckers at school, though,” Jason said. “Just wouldn’t let it be.”
Samantha sighed and stopped. She allowed her bag to drop from her shoulder, knelt, and opened the zipper. She pulled out a sweaty water bottle and took a long drink, then handed it to Jason with a quiet little burp.
“Excuse me,” she said. “It had been years since all that stuff in high school. Toby seemed over it. In a good place. Who knows though, I guess.”
Jason handed the bottle back to Sam. She capped it, threw it back in her bag, and zipped it back up.
Suddenly, a quick, loud shriek broke the stillness. The couple looked around for the source.
“What the hell was…”
Then another slightly longer scream pierced the woods.
“This way!” Jason leaped forward and began to run towards the sound that had sent chills up his neck.
“Jay, wait!” Samantha called.
She hesitated a moment, looked around, then followed.
Not far up the trail, Jason found a small path winding towards where he thought the scream had come from. He unclipped the leather sheath of his hunting knife attached to his belt and pulled it out. He did not open the blade but held it ready.
He galloped through the woods with animal-like precision. Many years of chasing prey through his family’s hunting grounds guided his actions.
Ahead he saw what looked to be a person crumpled on the ground. Maybe they fell and broke their ankle, Jason thought in a flash.
The person was still, though, unmoving, as far as Jason could tell.
As he approached the fallen hiker, he called out, “Hey! Hey, are you ok?”
No response came from the pile of clothes on the forest floor. Then Jason saw why. His gallop slowed to a jog; then, he stopped dead in his tracks.
Blood.
So much blood covered the front of the jacket, it was difficult to see that it should be light blue.
“Ah, Jesus.”
Jason’s face contorted into an expression of horror and confusion.
“What the fuck.”
Jason had witnessed many animals dead and dying, some by his hand. Often, when he had shot a whitetail deer back in Pennsylvania, it would take off running through the bush. Jason would track it by broken saplings and blood splatters until he came upon the animal, dead or dying.
Jason was no stranger to the terrified eyes of a dying animal; he had watched the life drain from them many times, leaving dull, matte black globes.
This hiker’s eyes were no different; eyes that once held life were now dull and unseeing. He heard Samantha’s footsteps on the ground behind him and quickly turned to try to stop her from seeing the mess.
Jason leaped towards Samantha, grabbed her tight, and spun her around. His eyes once again fell on the hiker’s lifeless face. Her bloodshot eyes stared dully up at him.
Jason shivered.
Samantha broke free of Jason’s weakened grasp and spun to face the source of his concern. There, in the dirt and leaves, was the second dead body Samantha had ever seen.
“God,” she whispered. “What happened?”
Instantly, Jason’s parasympathetic system took control of his actions. Jason instinctually opened his hunting knife and scanned the surrounding trees for the vicious predator that could have done this. Blood rushed to his core; his limbs twitched in anticipation. He reached a hand back to keep tabs on Sam as he pivoted, pointing his now opened knife forward in his other hand, locked in a defensive pose. As he slowly turned and shuffled in a circle with his back to Sam and the hiker, he thought maybe he would see a wolf or bear staring at them coldly from a distance. Jason cocked his head back and looked up at the canopy. Perhaps he would spot a cougar hiding up high in the branches, ready to pounce when the moment was right. Jason wondered if cougars even lived in this park.
Satisfied that he and Sam were in no immediate danger, Jason knelt beside the body, reached for the blue jacket, and pulled it open. He couldn’t help but register the warm, sticky sensation on his fingertips as he did.
“I dunno,” Jason said. “I don’t think an animal did this, Sam.”
Samantha already had her phone out, checking for service. One bar. She dialed 911, tapped send, and hit the speaker function.
“Damnit!” she said anxiously. She paced around nervously, phone extended to the sky, wishing for the call to go through.
Success.
“911, what’s your emergency?” asked the voice on the other end.
“Uhh, umm, we’re in Mount Rainier National Park and, hiking, and there’s someone here, dead, we heard a scream…”
Samantha fumbled with her words as they came in quick, abrupt spurts.
“Where exactly are you?” the voice asked.
“Uhm, Reflection Lake. Well. Between Reflection Lake and Paradise; on the trail. I don’t know. It’s hard to say.”
“Ok, stay on the phone with me here; I’m sending police now.”
Samantha did her best to calm down by taking a few slow, deep breaths. Jason continued to scan the forest, on guard against any danger.
“Ok.”
Samantha stood with her legs pressed tightly together, arms half crossed with her phone in one hand. Her stomach turned as she stared down at the dead woman; the tranquil beauty of the forest sanctuary now defiled by the scene in front of them.
CHAPTER 8
It took some time for the police to find the couple in the forest. Jason and Sam had made their way off the main trail where they found the hiker and had become disoriented from the events.
The officers finally did reach them and quickly led the couple back to the main trail and out to the police cruisers for questioning.
Before long, more police arrived in marked trucks and vans. The trucks hauled four-wheelers that police quickly unloaded and drove into the woods. The police unloaded tents and equipment from the vans, setting up a command station in the gravel parking lot. More officers and deputies entered the forest, weighed down with packs and gear.
A deputy offered Samantha and Jason each a paper cup filled with hot coffee, which the couple eagerly accepted. Then they were separated by the police to be questioned individually—to corroborate their stories. The couple each sipped their drinks as they answered questions and provided their statements.
The events were fresh in their minds; the images vivid and alive. When Jason had finished his statement, he was left standing by the cruiser, staring into the woods. As time went on, he started to worry about Sam and began second-guessing himself. Had he left crucial bits of the story out?
He hadn’t.
Samantha’s statement took longer than Jason’s because her tongue felt fat and lethargic in her throat, causing the words to leave her lips awkwardly. She hesitated in her speech as if she feared that uttering the words would make all this more real. When she had finished, the officer opened the door for her and she got out.
She walked towards Jason with the foil emergency blanket wrapped around herself, more for comfort than warmth.
“How are you?” Jason asked as he moved towards her.
“Good. Ok,” Sam said. “The cop said she would give us a ride to our car.”
The short ride to their SUV was silent except for the brief, sporadic chatter over the police radio. The car pulled into the lot beside Jason’s SUV and parked. The officer unclipped her seatbelt and threw open her door. She opened the back door so Sam and Jason could exit.
“Here is my card. We will be in touch. We recommend not leaving the state.”
The cop gave the couple a stern look and closed the back door of the cruiser behind them.
“Also,” she said, “you may want to speak with a shrink or someone. Might help.” She nodded, got back in her car, and headed back to the investigation. Jason and Sam stood quietly, half bewildered. Their SUV was the only vehicle left in the darkening lot. The last piece of sun sat waiting on the horizon, finally becoming engulfed by the dusk.
* * *
There was little conversation on the two-and-a-half-hour drive back to Seattle. The radio played music quietly while the engine droned along at its constant pitch. Samantha longed for a hot shower and warm food.
She tried, without much luck, to block the disturbing images from her thoughts. It kept playing over in her mind: she is running along the dirt path. A thin branch clips her cheek with a poker of hot pain, the evergreens blurring in the background. She sees Jason; he looks shaken. She sees the body, lying there, motionless. The jacket an odd shade of reddish blue. Over and over the memory played, like a short, disgusting video clip stuck on a loop. She shook her head to clear her mind and hoped that the thoughts would fall out of her ears.
She looked over at Jason.
He was gripping the wheel with both hands; not anxiously, just alert. His eyes were relaxed in the darkness, occasionally pierced with daggers of light from oncoming vehicles. He hated driving at night.
They weren’t even supposed to be out this late, Sam thought. Jason didn’t have to wear glasses when he drove, but that’s usually the only time he wore them. Just a small prescription. Just enough to sharpen everything up. Samantha liked how he looked in his glasses and secretly wished he’d wear them more. So smart and sophisticated.
He seemed calm now as the passing headlights rolled over his face. His beard was getting long—she liked that too.
No need to shave in lockdown, he had said. Samantha had had to put her foot down just before their trip. The scraggly beard needed a trim. He knew it too, so Jason hadn’t put up a fight.
Samantha remembered how she had complained that he trimmed too much. Such complaints seemed so trivial now.
Who cares how he looks? she thought, as long as he loves me.
Jason could feel Sam’s gaze. He looked over at her. “Y
ou ok, babe?” he asked.
Samantha nodded, placed her hand on his leg, and gave it a gentle squeeze.
“Love you.”
* * *
When Sam and Jason entered the apartment, the familiar smell of home hit their nostrils. Sam felt safe for the first time since the incident as she closed and locked the door behind her. They threw their bags down in the entranceway, removed their jackets and boots, and left it all in a pile on the floor.
They peeled their clothes off as quickly as they could, leaving a trail of garments on their way to the bathroom. Samantha cranked on the shower, and water burst from its head. She tested the stream and waited.
Jason opened the lid of the toilet and sat down with his phone in his hand.
Deciding that the temperature was acceptable, Samantha entered the shower.
Jason stared at his phone.
“Like, how do we tell our parents about this? How do we tell anyone?” he mused.
He set his phone down on the counter, uninterested in the device.
“I don’t know,” Sam replied. “That was insane.” Samantha stood still under the shower, allowing the hot liquid to soak her hair. The warm water saturated her thick, dark hair and poured over her naked body. She worked to block the video loop from her mind and relax, visualizing the memories running from her body and down the drain.
* * *
“Are you serious?” Denise asked.
The bad phone connection broke her voice up a little at the end.
“It was so crazy, Mom,” Sam said. “Like, I’m still shaking a bit.”
Samantha had called her mother shortly after dinner. The thought of reliving the day’s events had almost stopped her, but she needed to hear her mother’s voice. Samantha didn’t usually complain to her parents. Nor did she tell them about the more challenging parts of her relationship with Jason. She didn’t want to affect how her family felt about him and didn’t want them to worry.
So what if she and Jason had a few fights every now and then? Doesn’t everybody?