by P. D. Cacek
“It’s okay. Are you taking me back to the hospital?”
Millie stared at the road illuminated by the headlights. She hadn’t even given it a thought and she should have. She knew Dr. Ellison was worried about Jessie’s mental state and all, which meant she should take him back, but….
A pair of green eyes almost the same shade as the boy’s sitting next to her flashed in the darkness by the side of the road, reflecting the headlights. A cat or fox.
“No,” she said, “I’m taking you someplace a whole lot better. Can you fetch that big sack of mine in the back seat? You know, the one I’m always totin’ around?”
Millie slowed the car to almost the speed limit as Jessie twisted around and pulled the bag onto his lap.
“Got a whole new bag of peppermint sticks in there, ’case you need one.”
Millie kept her eyes on the road and listened to him rooting around. “Found them. Want one?”
“Oh, yes, please. Think I need one.” He unwrapped one part way and handed it to her. The bright flavor instantly cleared out the cobwebs. “Aren’t you having one?”
“Naw,” he said as he dropped the toting sack down next to his feet. “I’m kind of tired.”
“Well, you just go to sleep if you want, but the first thing you need to do when we get to where we’re going is call your friend, the girl who called me.”
Jessie yawned and huddled down in the seat.
“It’s okay,” he said, “she’s already knows.”
Jessie was asleep before Millie had a chance to ask who she was.
* * *
“And you’re just calling me now?”
“I wanted to get Jessie settled first. Was that wrong?”
Barney yawned and tried not to look at the illuminated clock on the microwave. Amandine had mumbled loudly and kicked him, without actually waking up as far as he could tell, when his phone buzzed across the nightstand, and continued to mumble and mutter and kick until he got out of bed.
“I’m sorry, Dr. Ellison, I should have waited to call you later this morning.”
Leaning back in the kitchen chair, Barney rubbed the sleep from his eyes. “No, it’s okay. I’m just glad you got him out of there. The mother sounds like…. Well, that might suggest a genetic predisposition for schizophrenia.”
Millie made a noncommittal sound.
“You don’t think he is?”
“I don’t know. He was kind of cloudy when I spoke to him before.”
“And tonight?”
“He seemed fine.”
Barney rubbed the back of his neck and wondered if he should make coffee or try to end the conversation as soon as he could. The next yawn settled the matter.
“Schizophrenics have moments when they seem perfectly rational, but he’s okay and all tucked in for the night and thanks to him, I do have a good many frequent flyer miles I can still use. I’ll text the center when I get my flight and ask if they can send someone to pick me up.”
“I’ll do that,” Millie said. “It’s the least I can do.”
“I’d argue if I was awake, but since I’m not…I’ll see you later today.”
Her sigh echoed against his ear. “Thank you, Dr. Ellison.”
“But try to keep him away from the general population. I mean, don’t make him feel like he’s being isolated and keep him comfortable, but…you know, for the safety of the others.”
This time it was Millie who yawned. “I will. G’night, Dr. Ellison.”
Barney left the phone on the kitchen table and decided it might be easier, and safer, if he spent the rest of the night on the living room sofa.
Chapter Thirty-One
New Hope, Pennsylvania
The earliest flight he could get had him landing just before lunch, which allowed him to justify his frequent sampling from the platter of assorted pastries Millie had placed between him and Jessie on the cafeteria table.
Before leaving them alone to talk.
Barney knew she’d give them at least an hour. And an hour might just be enough.
Maybe.
Through his sources, he’d read the police report on the incident only to discover Jessie wasn’t the only Pathway who had been involved in a spontaneous confrontation. It was almost too strange to be coincidence, but Barney’s definition of coincidence had changed considerably.
“Pretty good, huh?” he asked and tried not to smile when Jessie brushed the crumbs off the front of his shirt. The kid had put on some weight, thank God. “My favorites are the scones.”
Jessie nodded. “Yeah. Bear claws are good too.”
Put on some weight and making small talk. Things were looking up.
Barney smiled. “Yeah, they are. So, how do you like this place?”
Jessie shrugged. “It’s nice. I stayed in one of the visitors’ dorms last night and Millie showed me around this morning. Pretty big place.”
“That it is. Think you might like to stay here?”
Jessie leaned back in his chair. “Isn’t that up to you?”
“Well, only partially. I am sorry about what happened, Jessie, but you remember I didn’t think it was the best idea to send you home with the Steinars.”
“No, you wanted me to go to a nut house.”
“A more controlled environment,” Barney said slowly.
“A…nut…house,” Jessie replied even slower.
They stared at each other for a moment and Barney broke first. “Were you always a smart-ass or is this something new?”
“What do you think?”
“I think you must have been a handful.” He meant it as a joke, but knew he’d made a mistake when Jessie’s face hardened. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay. I am a smart-ass and I’m not crazy.” Jessie sat up straight and crossed his heart. “Promise.”
“I believe you, Jessie, but it’s not that simple,” he said. “The chemistry of a schizophrenic brain is different than a normal brain. You might feel the same way you did before, but your consciousness is inside a brain that—”
“Was drugged most of the time. Yeah, okay, Curtis might have been a genius, but I don’t think so. I don’t even think he had a normal IQ. I didn’t know the guy so I can’t say for sure, but the books he had and the science stuff…they were meant for a kid half his age. So if he wasn’t as bright as his mother thought and I’m still…whatever IQ I am…isn’t that proof?”
Barney stopped dismantling the pastry and looked up. “Proof of what, Jessie?”
“That I’m still me, one hundred per cent smart-ass and not crazy.”
“But you wouldn’t know, would you?”
“Wouldn’t know what?”
Both of them looked up to see Millie standing next to the table. She could be very quiet when she wanted to be.
“About me being crazy,” Jessie told her.
“Dr. Ellison, what a thing to tell this child!”
“I didn’t—” Barney stopped himself. “Millie, why don’t you join us?”
She took the chair to Jessie’s right. “Did Jessie tell you?”
“About last night, yes.”
“Jessie, you need to tell Dr. Ellison all of it.”
Jessie slumped back against his chair.
“Tell me what, Jessie?” When Jessie didn’t answer, Barney turned to Millie. “Tell me what?”
“About the girl who called me last night,” Millie said and reached out to touch Jessie’s arm. “Go on, tell Dr. Ellison what you told me this morning. Go on.”
“It was my sister, Abbie.”
That surprised Barney. Given what Jessie had said when he first understood what had happened to him as well as the ‘education’ he’d gotten, thanks to his father, the fact that he’d reached out to his sister was…remarkable.
Still, being a
doctor, Barney needed to prod the wound just a bit more. “I thought you didn’t want her…or your father to know.”
“She already knew.”
Barney looked at Millie with raised eyebrows, but Millie only smiled like the cat that ate the canary. There’d be no help there.
“Okay, I’ll bite,” Barney said. “How did she know?”
Jessie took a deep breath and looked Barney in the eyes. “She felt me die.”
Maybe schizophrenia did run in families; they were twins, after all. “Ah.”
“See,” Jessie said to Millie, “I told you he’d think I’m nuts.”
“Hush that talk and tell him about the song.”
“The song?” Barney felt like he’d suddenly stepped into a play without having been given the script. “What song?”
“‘Bring Him Home’,” Jessie said, “from my funeral.”
When he phased out, Barney remembered, the auditory hallucination. “You mean…. No.”
Millie nudged Jessie’s arm. “Show him, like you showed me.”
Jessie sighed, long and loud as if he’d been asked to stand up and recite. Barney had no idea what was going on, but it was obvious something was.
“Look, Jessie, if there’s something you want to tell me….”
Jessie pulled a napkin from the dispenser and slid it across the table to Barney. “Write down your cell phone number.”
“Why?”
“It’s a magic trick, Dr. Ellison. Just write it down.”
Barney reached into his breast pocket and took out his pen, then wrote down the number.
“Show me.” Barney turned the napkin toward Jessie. “Where’s 805?”
“Simi Valley, California.”
“Cool.” Jessie raised his hands in a flourish. “Abracadabra.”
“Jessie, what’s going—” ‘Ode to Joy’ began playing from his coat pocket.
No way.
Barney pulled the phone from his coat pocket and looked at the unknown caller listed on the screen.
“Well, aren’t you going to answer it?” Jessie asked.
“Hello?”
“Dr. Ellison?” The voice was soft and hesitant. “God, you’re him, aren’t you?”
“Yes, I am, and who may I ask are you?”
“I’m Abbie. Abigail Hope Pathway, Jessie’s sister.”
Barney looked at Jessie. Then at Millie. Then back to Jessie. “This isn’t possible.”
“Neither is dying and coming back in someone else’s body, Dr. Ellison,” the girl, Abbie, said, “but it happens.”
“How?” And Barney didn’t care who answered.
“We’ve always been able to talk to –” Jessie said from the table before Abbie continued on the phone, “– each other in our heads since we were little.” Then both together. “It’s a twin thing.”
Barney was very happy he was sitting down. “I’ve read studies suggesting the possibility…but I’ve never had the opportunity to witness it firsthand. It’s amazing. Does your father know you can do this?”
“No,” they said simultaneously.
“Why didn’t you tell me, Jessie?”
Jessie looked him straight in the eye. “Because you already thought I was crazy.”
“I’m sorry.” Jessie nodded and Barney watched his green eyes go distant. “Are you two…talking to each other right now?”
“Yes,” Abbie answered for them.
“I can’t…I still can’t believe it.”
Jessie smiled as Abbie’s voice whispered in Barney’s ear. “Jessie said you should wipe the cheese off your tie before it stains.”
Barney looked down and laughed at the small cream-colored drop on his blue-and-yellow plaid tie. “Thank you, Abbie, Jessie, my wife would never forgive me. She bought me this tie.”
“Well, I have to go now,” Abbie said, her voice becoming more formal. “It was nice talking to you, Dr. Ellison.”
“You too, Abbie. Maybe we can do it again sometime.”
The line went silent.
“That was amazing,” Barney said and suspected he probably had the same look on his face that Millie had. “Okay, so maybe I was wrong about you hearing voices that weren’t real. And I’m serious about hoping the three of us can talk…. Jessie, what is it? Did Abbie just say something to you?”
Jessie nodded. “She has to go pick up our father,” Jessie said. “The U.C.U.A. posted bail, but he needs to be remanded to a family member.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“And she thinks I should talk to him.”
Barney held out the phone.
“No, face to face.”
“You want to fly to Colorado? I can take you.”
Jessie’s green eyes actually bulged. “No! I can’t. Maybe on Skype or FaceTime, but not in person…not yet.”
“We can do that too. They have a pretty good computer department here, with private study rooms. When you’re ready.”
“Okay.”
Barney put his phone away. “I’m sorry I thought you were….”
“Fruit loops?”
“Sometimes we fall in love with the easiest explanation and don’t go beyond it.” He shook his head. “You’d think I’d know better.”
“Well, we can’t all be geniuses.”
They both laughed, but only for a moment. “Thank you for telling me the truth, Jessie. I know it was hard, but truth is hard sometimes.”
“I guess.”
“But it’s still better, isn’t it, even if it’s hard?”
Barney watched the boy sit up straighter. “I don’t know. What truth are we talking about, Dr. Ellison?”
“One that was kept hidden from you and your sister.”
Jessie’s laugh was forced and not very convincing. “What truth? That we were adopted? Nope, we look too much like him.”
Barney flipped a mental coin. It came up heads.
“The truth about your mother, Jessie.”
The unconvincing laughter stopped and Barney watched the muscles in Jessie’s face and body tense. “She died in a car accident. It was my fault. She was coming to pick me up. Are you saying she didn’t die?”
“No, I’m sorry, no, she’s not alive.” Barney busied himself bringing up the PDF file he’d downloaded to his phone to keep from seeing the horrible look of relief and sorrow in Jessie’s face. God forgive me. “Monica Pathway, your mother, Jessie, died from shock as a result of a hit and run despite the attending surgeons’ best efforts to save her life. Her time of death was 4:37 p.m.”
“Go on.”
“At 4:41 p.m., the heart began to beat and a woman named Nina Clare Andrews woke up. She lives in Norristown, Pennsylvania, and works as a church secretary. Norristown isn’t that far from New Hope if you’d like to—”
“No.” He hadn’t shouted and that made it worse. “It wouldn’t be my mom and she…the woman wouldn’t know who I am. I’m not even me anymore.”
“I’m sorry, Jessie, but I thought you should know, in case you ever run into her. It’s possible.”
“Yeah.”
“Are you okay?” The question got a shrug, which was more than Barney expected. “Are you going to tell Abbie?”
The tears in Jessie’s eyes glistened when he shook his head.
“You can keep secrets from each other?”
“Sometimes. Dr. Ellison, did my dad know...about my mom?”
“Yes. His name is on the release.”
Barney prepared himself for shock, rage, or hysterics in any or all combination, but all he saw was a slight tightening of the face and body.
“You know, Dr. Ellison,” Jessie said, “I think I would like to talk to my father, after all.”
* * *
Jessie covered the mouse with his hand and to
ok a deep breath. The ‘ringing’ receiver icon meant his father was waiting for him to connect. Abbie had set it up, lying to their father, telling him Jessie was a young man in crisis, which was true enough, and promised not to listen in – inside or out.
Jessie moved the cursor over the icon.
When he clicked it his father would smile and ask what he could do to help. He would look kind and benevolent, the way he always looked when he spoke to a troubled soul…but then, after Jessie told him, the look would change. Jessie wasn’t sure which emotion would appear first or in what order, grief or shock, but he knew what the last one would be: disgust.
How dare you say something like that? My daughter died whole in body and spirit.
Okay, Jessie, he’s waiting. I’m leaving now.
You promise?
Cross my heart. This is between you and him.
Jessie licked his lips and clicked the mouse. His father smiled at him.
“Hi, I’m Reverend Pathway. My daughter said you needed to talk. How can I help you?”
Jessie swallowed and looked into his father’s eyes. What do I say? Hi, Dad, it’s me, Jessie? I know about Mom. Are you going to lie about me too? One body, one soul, right, Dad?
“It’s all right, son,” his father said, “you can tell me anything. I won’t judge.”
Jessie took a deep breath – “Sorry, wrong number” – and ended the call.
I’m sorry, Abbie.
What happened? He said you hung up? Call him back. Tell him.
I can’t.
Why?
I love him.
Abbie’s voice went quiet.
I’ll talk to you later, okay, Abbs?
Okay. Give him some time, Jessie, maybe he’ll change.
“Sure, Pollyanna.”
Jessie turned off the computer and sat staring at the blank screen until Dr. Ellison popped his head in. He didn’t ask and Jessie didn’t tell. Neither of them needed to.
“Picnic’s starting,” he said, “and afterward Millie’ll show you your new room. Welcome home, Jessie.”
October
Chapter Thirty-Two
New Hope, Pennsylvania