Now it all made sense, but Liss didn’t feel any better. She looked down at her wrists, one bound in pristine gauze. “Mom? I don’t know if I want to be queen. It’s just so much, so fast. And I expected to be working for Gregor, not married to him.”
“Do you care for him?” asked Dagmar, watching her intently.
“Well… I…” But Liss couldn’t form a coherent sentence. She took a deep breath and collected herself. Some people might think that confiding in her mother about her love life was strange, but to her it felt completely natural. “I don’t know if what I feel is real.”
“Because of the pheromones in his bite?”
“No.” Liss blushed. “He’s attractive for sure. That’s no problem. But that’s not enough to build a marriage on, and I don’t know… am I really supposed to be his wife? Or is this a political thing? And am I still his thrall if I’m his wife? I could handle it if I knew what to expect, but I don’t, and it’s driving me crazy.”
“Well,” said Dagmar, a smile playing over her lips, “I suppose you could do something wild and crazy and just ask.”
Liss threw up her hands. “Now you’re just making fun of me,” she protested.
“Not at all. I don’t envy your situation. Konstantine and I were equals when we married, and we both knew we brought something important to the table.”
“But didn’t you love him?” asked Liss, scandalized. She’d never really thought about this before, but of course, thralls were expected to pick their spouses from within other thrall families. Her father’s family had come from Sweden when he was just a baby, and new blood was always in high demand in such a small community. She couldn’t believe she hadn’t realized up until this moment that theirs was really a political union too. Now she felt a bit silly for complaining about Gregor.
But Dagmar just smiled. “Our parents gave us many opportunities to fall in love. They didn’t exactly push us together, and I imagine if we hadn’t clicked, they would have looked elsewhere. But we did. It just takes time.”
“But I don’t have time,” said Liss, scowling.
“Then I guess you’d better go talk to him now, hadn’t you?” suggested Dagmar gently.
“I hate it when you’re right, you know that?”
But her mother just hugged her, a tight embrace that said without words how happy she was that Liss was safe and sound. No matter what happened with Gregor, she had that. Still, she would go and talk to him. Not just because her mother wanted her to, or because it would help her family. But because for the first time, she was willing to admit to herself that she wanted to know what Gregor thought of her. She wanted him to care. Because she cared about him, more than she wanted to.
Chapter 18
Once Liss was dropped off safely at home with her mother and Chandra had been deposited in the specially-built vampire cells under the library, Gregor found himself feeling very restless. He gave Antoine the all-clear and sent him home. Then he made an attempt to look through the casino reports, but he couldn’t focus. The reports needed his utmost attention. Tait had compiled most of them, and in light of his erratic behavior, Gregor felt the need to review everything himself. He’d have Konstantine do the same. It would be a conflict of interest, but Konstantine was at heart a businessman. He put logic over emotion every time, although if a situation could break through his emotional barriers, this was probably it. Konstantine might be hurt by recent developments, but having some piece of business to attend to might help him work through it.
It would have to wait for another night, though. Gregor simply couldn’t focus on the numbers before him. They swam in his brain, and five seconds after he read them, he’d already forgotten what they were. He was too busy thinking over what had happened with Liss. Wondering if she was okay. If she resented him for bringing her into all of this. Of course, she was the one who had killed Viktor, but maybe he could have avoided that too. He’d known for years that Viktor was out of control, but he’d talked himself into playing it safe, and look where it had gotten them. He could have taken Viktor out years ago, and then Liss would be safe.
There was just one problem with this line of thinking. He still wasn’t sure that he would have had the strength to remove Viktor on his own. Perhaps he could have accomplished it by drumming up support among some of the newer vampires who chafed against Viktor’s iron fisted rule, but he likely would have gotten wind of it. Gregor was fairly sure that in a face-to-face confrontation, his sire would have wiped the floor with him. He’d been a vampire for years before he’d brought Gregor over, years to grow in strength and power. For much of his unlife, Gregor had perfected the art of flying under the radar. He’d lost his edge.
Liss hadn’t. She’d faced down the king of the vampires and lived. Chandra was wrong when she said Liss wasn’t fit to rule them simply because she was human. Being mortal hadn’t made her weak at all. Maybe she didn’t have the same martial prowess as her mother—although she seemed to be a capable fighter if the episode with the guard in the hallway was any indication—but she had other strengths. Dagmar might be a general, but Liss was a queen.
The problem was that he didn’t know how to make her see it. Although, if she understood her strength, that could cause problems too. Then she might think he only wanted to marry her because she’d be good at the job. That wasn’t it at all. He wanted her skills for the kingdom. She could help him lead the vampire community into a new era of prosperity where they weren’t limited to large cities full of nightlife. Where a life of quiet contemplation was just as valued as one of corporate domination. Where art and knowledge might flourish, and the Librarian didn’t have to hide because his logical answers weren’t wanted.
He wanted all of those things for the kingdom. But he wanted Liss for himself.
This was futile. He couldn’t focus on his work. Liss haunted him, and he couldn’t go barging into her penthouse, demanding that she love him. How did normal people do it? Night after night, he’d seen romances bloom and die on the vine. But why? How? He pushed up from his plush leather office chair and pulled his spare jacket off the hanger on the back of the door. Antoine always kept one at the ready for him, just in case. He would go down to the floor and watch the people there. It was late now—nearly 2:30 in the morning—and the mortals would be trying to close the deal and head up to their rooms. He would see what they did. Perhaps they’d give him some idea of how to approach Liss. Or, more likely, how not to approach her. He’d take all the help he could get.
He took a moment to smooth his hair and went out the door.
In his half hour of watching the patrons of his casino, Gregor came to one solid conclusion—this was a waste of his time. He couldn’t imagine serenading Liss with drunken, poorly remembered lyrics to the latest hip hop song. Or grabbing her by the ass and steering her out the door. Or begging. That last option didn’t work for the fellow who tried it, either. He ended up leaving alone.
It was a ridiculous idea anyway. He’d known it from the start but had been so desperate to do anything at all. At the least, it had gotten him out of his office and kept him from sitting around and obsessing. He had to admit that he’d been amused in the meantime, and he hadn’t thought about Liss more than five times in the past half hour, which might have been a record.
Said record wasn’t going to get any better, though, because Liss herself came walking across the floor toward him. Her hair was up in a bun, and wisps of it floated down to graze her shoulders. She’d dressed in a casual, open necked grey shirt that kept slipping over one shoulder, and a pair of black leggings that made the most of her height. Her face was free of makeup, and she outshone every woman left in the room, even the one that had inspired the begging.
“I thought I might find you here,” she said.
“You thought right,” he said. “I ought to be working, but I just couldn’t concentrate. How are you feeling?”
“Good.” She looked down at her arms, and he realized she’d chosen the shirt
on purpose. Sliding the shirt off one shoulder gave her more sleeve to work with, mostly obscuring the gauze wrapping her injured wrist. She caught his gaze and tugged the sleeve down further. “I don’t want people thinking I’m suicidal, is all.”
“I’m glad you’re okay.”
She nodded. “What’s going to happen to Chandra? Are you really going to let her go free like I suggested?”
“I will. I expect her to try something eventually, but I think you did an excellent job of buying us time before that happens. I’ll call a tribunal on her when I’m sure I have the support to do something to stop it for good. We used to do that, in the olden days.” He put special emphasis on the word so she’d understand just how old he was talking. “The Librarian has offered to look up all those old rules for me. I imagine some of them will have to be updated, but I think all of the power in any organization shouldn’t be so closely centered in just one person. Don’t you agree?”
“If they were going to pick one, I think you’d be a good choice.”
She met his eyes, and there was a tense moment where he felt pulled toward her. He wanted nothing more than to wrap her in his arms and kiss her and claim her as his own. But he couldn’t do that. He didn’t know for sure if she wanted him to, and he certainly couldn’t kiss her in public. Not on the mouth. His pheromones would insure that things didn’t stop there, but he couldn’t think about that right now or he’d lose the ability to form coherent sentences.
“Thank you,” he said, tearing his eyes away.
“What about…” she swallowed nervously and continued. “What about Tait?”
“He is home, is he not? With your mother?”
“Yes. I don’t like it, though. I feel like I can’t trust him. How can I sleep, knowing that he’s right there and might decide to try and do away with me again?”
“Could you manage a blood ward, do you think?” he asked.
“Maybe with practice, but not tonight. And I can lock my door, but locks can be picked.”
He took a deep breath. “Come sleep at my place.” Before she could protest, he continued. “I don’t mean with me. I wouldn’t take advantage of the situation in that manner. But I do have the best security in the entire building, and my apartment has a guest room. It isn’t as pretty as your rooms, but you could sleep safely there.”
“That’s a kind offer, Gregor. Thank you.”
“So you’ll accept?”
He tried not to sound too eager, but she flicked a glance of amusement his way anyway. So he must not have succeeded as well as he’d hoped.
“Yes, at least for tonight. But I’ll practice the ward tomorrow. No offense meant, but I’d rather stay at home with my own things.”
He nodded. “Perhaps we could discuss wedding plans tomorrow? That is, if you still are willing to marry me.”
“I’m not sure when my opinion came into that decision at all,” she said.
That comment stopped him cold. He looked at her closely. She didn’t seem upset about the situation, just grave and serious, but maybe he just wasn’t reading her very well. His heart fell into his feet as he considered the fact that she might not want to marry him after all. Or she thought that her feelings didn’t matter to him. That was even worse.
“Liss,” he said, taking her warm hands in his. “If I gave you that impression, I am more sorry than I can say. Of course your opinion matters. I… I want to marry you because you’ll be a good queen. But it pains me to think that you might assume it’s the only reason.”
“It isn’t?” she asked softly.
“Not at all. Since the moment I met you, things have changed. You are intelligent and kind and brave. You stand up for the people you care about. I couldn’t ask for someone better to share the throne.”
“Oh.”
She seemed disappointed, but he didn’t know what else to say. How could he confess his feelings, knowing that they were foolish? It would be ridiculous to fall in love over a matter of days, but he felt like he’d done just that. And if he did confess how he felt, and she didn’t feel the same, ruling together would be incredibly awkward. It would be smart to leave his statement there.
But she’d been brave at every juncture, and he had continued to hide. He couldn’t do that any longer. What if Chandra did turn on them before he could build up the support needed to oust her from the community for good? What if he lost Liss before he could tell her how he felt? He would regret that all of his life.
“But there’s one more thing,” he said haltingly. “You—you make me feel alive. In a way I haven’t in years. I barely know you, but I want to be around you. When I’m not, you’re all I think about.”
Her face lit up. He’d said something right this time, and he couldn’t keep from moving closer and putting an arm around her shoulders.
“Really?” she asked.
“That may be a slight exaggeration. I do function when you’re not near, but it’s difficult,” he said.
She laughed now, quietly. A laugh meant for his ears alone.
“Well, that’s good to know. I wouldn’t want you to turn into a pile of useless mush every time I leave the room.”
“I have never been mush,” he declared. “I swear it.”
“Good. Mush would be messy.”
She smiled at him, and his eyes fixated on her lips. The pull to kiss her at that moment was so strong that he leaned forward, despite knowing what a bad idea it was. She stopped him with a gentle hand on his chest.
“Not here,” she said. “I’m not prepared to resist you right now.”
He retreated, and he was sure that his disappointment showed on his face. But she simply smiled at him again.
“I want to save it for our wedding night,” she said. And for the first time, she seemed excited about the prospect.
He picked her up and swung her around, planting a safe kiss on her cheek. She shivered at the touch and held him tight, and everything felt perfect.
Chapter 19
After that, Gregor was surprised at how fast and easy the wedding planning went. Although Dagmar had a reputation for power and martial skill, it turned out that she also had a secret romantic side. She’d kept her old wedding dress and had it secretly altered for Liss, just in case. Liss loved the dress, or at least she did a good job of pretending to love it. Flowers had been easy—Gregor readily agreed to anything that wasn’t too strongly fragranced and would irritate vampire noses. He didn’t eat cake, so Liss was free to pick her long-time favorite from one of the bakeries in the hotel. The guest list and location were simple—the ballroom would suffice, and all of the members of court would be required to attend. It had all taken two evenings altogether, although Liss and Dagmar had spent a little time working on it during the day too.
He should have been satisfied. Liss seemed to be looking forward to the event. Their relationship was still developing; she no longer seemed to resent him for the offer of his hand. It would continue to get better as they grew more familiar with each other. He was definitely looking forward to it himself. With every hour they spent together, he became more and more infatuated with her. He’d known many thralls in his life, most of them talented and accomplished like Liss. But there was something about her that made it all feel new. Maybe he didn’t understand it, but maybe he didn’t have to, so long as it didn’t end.
Still, something bothered him. He couldn’t figure it out. He thought about it as he pushed the elevator button outside of Liss’s apartment. He thought about it as he stepped off the cab onto his floor. As he undressed and stepped into the shower. But still, the answer eluded him.
When he stepped out of the shower, wrapped in a fluffy towel, he thought again about asking Liss to decorate. He was hoping they might share a room, although he would understand if she wanted to stay in the guest room at first, as she had the night after the abduction. She’d gone straight to bed that night, and he’d made himself scarce, not wanting to push too hard. It seemed wise to continue that course
of action. Perhaps asking her to make her mark on the master bedroom might be too much at first, but she could be encouraged to make that guest room her own. No, that would imply that he wanted her to stay there, which was far from the truth. Perhaps he’d start with the bathroom. Or the kitchen. Some general use room that she would be able to call her own. She could put up some pictures of her family. Not like they were far away, but she would probably enjoy having their photos up. It might make the space feel more like home to her.
That was what bothered him. Liss’s family. She was so close to them, and although she hadn’t really opened up much to him about it, she knew that Tait’s shifting loyalties hurt her. He’d been all but shut out by his family in a more effective punishment than Gregor would have ever been able to manufacture. For a man who was all too eager to amass power, he was struggling to accept the fact that they no longer trusted him to hold the reins. As expected, Konstantine had taken the situation hardest and had reacted by micromanaging every single thing that Tait did. Gregor had left him to it with gratitude. If Tait tried anything else, his parents would catch him before it could blossom into a problem.
But he hadn’t really thought about the lasting effects on Liss, which shamed him. In all of his excitement about the wedding, and his desire to make her care for him as much as he did for her, he’d lost sight of her pain. But of course she was feeling it. She was looking at a future full of political maneuvering, in which no one was truly her friend and everyone wanted something from her. If she couldn’t trust her own brother, who could she trust? Of course she could trust Gregor, but she would need more than that to stay sane.
So would he. The idea took him by surprise, even though it was a simple one. He hadn’t had friends ever since Viktor had come into his life. He’d steered away from any other relationships on account of his creator’s rampant and random jealousy. But he needed people to confide in. People to trust. If he looked at the list of people he interacted with each night, all of them were work-related except for Liss. As much as he liked Antoine and the Librarian, they weren’t friends.
The Supernaturals of Las Vegas Books 1-4 Page 14