A Tale of Two Christmas Letters

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A Tale of Two Christmas Letters Page 18

by Cathy Gillen Thacker


  “Hey.” Bess spun around. “I never said that!”

  He regarded her kindly. “Didn’t have to. Everyone who looked at you together at the Monroe family get-together knew something had changed since Thanksgiving. Something pretty wonderful, if you ask me.”

  She had felt that way, too. Until Jack had delivered his incredibly lackluster proposal.

  “But is it enough?” she asked, still aching over the unromantic hue of it all. She knew if anyone would understand, it would be Nick. With a confused shake of her head, she continued, “You and Sage began your relationship as lovers and friends. And then decided to marry and have a child together.” And they were both so happy now.

  Did that mean she and Jack had a chance, too?

  “Actually, first we got pregnant. Deliberately,” Nick corrected, with a grin. “So Sage could have the baby she wanted. Then we got married.”

  “Still.” Bess felt on the verge of tears again, struggling to find a way out of this mess she and Jack had made. “You and Sage weren’t claiming to be madly in love then.”

  “Which was a mistake,” he said. “Because we were in love with each other, Bess. From the very beginning. We were both just too wary of risking what we had as friends to take the giant leap of faith required to be that vulnerable and lay our hearts on the line. And our initial lack of complete candor almost cost us everything,” he warned.

  And yet, she thought, the former best friends turned lovers had found their way back to each other. And were happier than ever now.

  Could that happen for her and Jack, as well?

  Nick paused to study her. “I’m guessing you know how you feel?”

  She nodded, as the reality of the situation came crashing back. Tears blurred her eyes. “The problem is, Jack’s already had the love of his life.”

  “Doesn’t mean he can’t have another,” he said sternly. He took both her hands in his. “Trust me on this, sis. There’s no quota on love. Not for Jack. Not for you. Not for anyone.”

  * * *

  Bess and Jack had agreed after their breakup that she would vacate the premises whenever he came over to visit with his puppy, in order to spare them any awkward encounters. The handoff late Christmas Eve was to be done similarly.

  However, after two long, lonely days of having no contact with Jack except via text, she was ready to rethink that pact. As well as every other objection she’d had to their present and future arrangements.

  Luckily, the text message she got from Jack the evening of December 23 told her he was feeling the same.

  Coming over as soon as you give the go-ahead.

  When I get there...can we talk?

  Which was, as it turned out, exactly what she wanted to do. She just hadn’t figured out when or how to approach him. Now she didn’t have to.

  Her heart filling with hope, Bess texted back, See you in twenty minutes. And yes, I’d love to talk. She followed that with a smiley face emoji, then rushed to get ready for his arrival.

  Her pulse racing, she replaced her worn jeans and nursing school T-shirt with her favorite black skirt and a cranberry silk blouse. Brushed her teeth and styled her hair. Put on fresh makeup and a spritz of perfume. She was just trying to decide between ballet flats or heels when the doorbell rang.

  She went for the heels.

  Smoothing her skirt, she took a deep breath and went to open the door. Jack stood on the other side. Seeing him standing there, so strong and tall and handsome, so...Jack...melted her heart.

  He seemed to have taken the same care getting ready for their meeting. Noting how closely he had shaved and how good he smelled, she ushered him inside.

  He cast a fond glance at the two pups, who were sound asleep in their crates, then shrugged out of his coat and draped it over a wingback chair. The line of his mouth was sober as he turned to her, his eyes just as serious.

  Bess’s spirits rose and crashed and rose again. There was so much on the line.

  Too much?

  He strolled toward her, looking more coolly determined than she had ever seen him. The romantic, impetuous side of her wanted to throw herself into his arms then and there. However, her more practical side urged her to slow down and proceed more cautiously this time. They could get this right.

  He cleared his throat and kept his eyes on hers. “Thanks for agreeing to be here when I came over to see the puppies.”

  She nodded. She wanted to start the reconciliation process by letting him know what was in her heart and understanding what was in his. She hitched in a shaky breath and spoke around the lump in her throat. “The truth is, I wanted to talk to you, too. First...” She edged closer and tilted her face up to his. “...I’m sorry about the way I reacted the other day.”

  His lips tightening with regret, he said, “You were right to shoot down my proposal. It was way too lame and spur of the moment.”

  The pain in his low tone matched the anguish she’d felt in her heart. Bess tensed. “Does this mean you’re taking back your offer?”

  “It means,” he said, taking her hand and holding it between them, “I think we need to back up a little bit and consider where we are. And how we got to this point in our relationship in the first place.” He released a rough breath. “I never meant to hurt you, Bess.”

  “I never meant to hurt you, either.”

  Sorrow tugged at the ruggedly handsome planes of his face. “Yet we have hurt each other.”

  She nodded. If they were going to move forward in the way she wanted, they were going to have to bare their souls, difficult as it might be. With a sigh of regret, she led him over to sit down on the sofa. “Part of it is because I’ve had conditions all along.”

  He settled next to her, his broad shoulders straining the cashmere of his pine-green sweater. “In what sense?”

  Bess turned toward him, keeping her hand clasped in his. Where to begin?

  “Well, at first, I thought I could spend time with you, as long as we remained just friends. Then,” she admitted ruefully, “it was going to be okay to want more than that from you, as long as we were lovers only once, and then when that did not seem at all sufficient, just for the Christmas holidays.”

  He grinned, clearly recalling just how irrevocably passionate they had been.

  “And when that still wasn’t enough,” she continued, “I decided I could be your friend and lover and maybe...if things worked out the way I hoped...even marry you and have a baby with you one day.” She shook her head, reflecting unhappily, “But I only wanted to do that if I were the new love of your life. I didn’t want to just be a placeholder or some kind of convenient substitute for the wife you lost.”

  He looked at her with a quiet understanding that brought forth a spate of feelings. “But now your feelings have changed,” he said, as if seeking to understand.

  She tightened her fingers in his, at long last ready to put it all on the line. “I had a heart-to-heart with Nick. He told me there are no quotas on love. That just because you loved Gayle with all your heart and soul did not mean that you couldn’t love me that way, too. And...” She drew a bolstering breath and looked deep into his eyes. “...after I thought about it, I realized that there are no conditions on love. If you want it to bloom, then you have to accept it and be open to it and let it grow in its own way and its own time. There are no arbitrary limits or conditions. I realize that now.”

  He used his thumb to wipe away the tears trembling on her lower lashes. “You aren’t the only one who has made mistakes,” he said, shifting her onto his lap. “I’ve been trying to play it safe in every way possible since Gayle died. I thought if I shut down that part of my heart that I could protect the happiness and good fortune I still had left. Keep myself and my children from being hurt.”

  She understood that.

  “Part of that meant not letting myself get involved with you a
s anything more than a casual friend, and that worked, for a while.”

  “For both of us,” she agreed, acutely aware of the mistakes they had made.

  “But then, as my grief faded, and I started to come back to life, I became more and more aware of you. As a woman and as a potential love interest.”

  Bess tilted her head. Seeing the desire in his eyes, she felt a shiver deep inside her. “Which is why, I’m guessing, you were so unhappy about me going out on a date with Tim Briscoe.”

  The crinkles around his eyes deepened. “I tried to be decent about it. Support whatever it was that you desired. I really wanted you to be happy.”

  She chuckled at the twinkle in his cobalt blue eyes. “But...?”

  “The truth was, if you were going to date anyone,” he admitted, “I wanted it to be me. And only me.”

  She smiled. “Why didn’t you tell me that was how you felt?”

  “Because I’m a McCabe.”

  And hence brought up to be gallant to the core, she realized.

  His voice dropped a sexy notch. “I knew back then how you felt about jumping into another romance with someone who was on the rebound, and that caution went double for someone who’d already had it all. I cared about you too much to hurt you that way.” His gaze devoured her, head to toe, and he stroked the inside of her wrist with the pad of his thumb. “I wanted you to have everything you deserved, including a baby and a larger-than-life love. And since you apparently saw me as just a pal—” he exhaled in apparent frustration “—I didn’t want to do anything to ruin our friendship.”

  “Nor did I.” Bess splayed her hands over his chest; the rapid beat of his heart matched hers. “Which was why I was trying so hard to move on and date someone else. I was trying to get over wanting you.”

  He threaded a hand through her hair, wrapped the other around her waist. “But it didn’t work with Tim.”

  Emotion welled within her. “The whole time I was out on that date with him, I felt like I was cheating on you.”

  “Unwarranted,” he pointed out, “since technically we didn’t have anything other than friendship at that point.”

  She snuggled against him, taking all the heat and strength he had to give. “The frustrating thing was, I really wanted it to be different between you and me, even then. I just didn’t know how to go about it.”

  He drew a deep breath, his eyes never leaving hers. Letting her know she wasn’t the only one who had been doing an incredible amount of soul-searching. “Hence, the cranky versus fake-happy Christmas letters.”

  Grinning, she lamented, “I had to get all that emotion out somewhere.”

  He stroked his palm lovingly over her spine. “When I read them, I figured you were in trouble.”

  No kidding. She’d been headed for the most miserable holiday season ever. “Which was why you promptly rode in to my rescue,” she said with relief.

  “I just didn’t have any idea at that point your angst had anything to do with me.” He lifted her hand to his mouth and kissed the back of her knuckles.

  “Well, it did.”

  They exchanged smiles. Jack shifted her off his lap and stood, drawing her to her feet. He pulled her against him, so they were touching in one long, sexy line. “You know what the most ironic thing of all this is, darlin’?” He left a trail of kisses down her neck that set off a firestorm of heat. “While you were lusting after marriage and a baby...”

  And he’d been saying never again...

  He drew back to look into her eyes. “Little by little, I secretly found myself wanting those things again, too. But not with just anyone. I wanted to have it all with you,” he said in that tender-rough voice she adored. “Because I love you, Bess, and I have for a long time now.”

  Happiness swept through her in waves. “Oh, Jack,” she whispered. “I love you, too.”

  She closed her eyes and his lips moved over hers, sweetly, evocatively.

  “Enough to give me another chance to give you the kind of all-out, romantic courtship you deserve?” he asked, his voice filled with all the love he felt for her.

  Tired of downplaying her own wishes, Bess gathered all her courage and corrected, “Enough to stop playing the waiting game. Or pretend we have to do things in any particular time frame or any set way. I love you enough to marry you, just the way you wanted, and become a mother to your three girls and owner to two adorable golden retriever puppies.”

  “As well as have our baby.”

  At last. The heartfelt proposal she had been waiting for all her life. Bess nodded. “Whenever we both decide the time is right.”

  “You mean that,” he noted in wonder.

  She drew another tremulous breath. “With all my heart and soul, Doc.” She rose on tiptoe and sealed her promise with another kiss.

  When they finally drew apart, she said, “In the meantime, I have a little something for you.” She went to get a small wrapped gift from beneath her tabletop tree.

  He opened it. Inside the box was an old-fashioned pocket watch. “It’s beautiful.”

  She turned it over, so he could see the back. Engraved into the gold was a pair of angel wings. “I got the idea when we were watching It’s a Wonderful Life. I realized that night you were my guardian angel. And I wanted it to continue.”

  “For all time?”

  “Well, Doc, that was the hope.”

  Jack grinned. “I love it. And just so you know—” he waggled his brows in a way that engendered a wealth of anticipation “—I have a little something for you, too.” From his pocket, he pulled out the small dark blue jeweler’s box he’d brought with him the day of their breakup. The box she had never accepted.

  “You kept it,” she marveled.

  “Hope springs eternal, and all that. Of course I kept it.” He gave her a mock indignant look, then encouraged, “Open it. See what’s inside.”

  “Oh, Jack.” She caught her breath at the sheer beauty of the gift. “An infinity necklace!” Made out of solid gold, the chain held two never-ending loops with a diamond-studded heart caught in between. The heart was engraved. Tears of happiness blurring her eyes, she read aloud, “‘Forever yours. Love, Jack.’” Her hands trembling, she caught it to her chest. “It’s perfect!”

  He moved behind her to put it on, nuzzling her neck in the process. “As are you.”

  After they’d admired it in the mirror, she turned back to face him. “So, what next?”

  He bent to kiss her, thoroughly and passionately. “Well, darlin’, since you asked, I’m up for a little holiday romance.”

  She laughed. A lifetime of joy swept through her. She kissed him again and then drawled, “Well, what do you know, Doc. I’m up for some, too.”

  He guided her beneath the mistletoe she had hung, just in case. Their adorable puppies slept on.

  “Merry Christmas, darlin’,” Jack whispered happily.

  Bess wreathed her arms about his neck and guided him wonderfully close, knowing at long last all her dreams had come true. She fitted her lips to his and kissed him. “Merry Christmas to you, too.”

  Epilogue

  December 1, two years later

  Jack joined Bess in the living room after all five of their children were snuggled in their beds, sound asleep. A cozy fire blazed in the hearth, beneath a row of colorful Christmas stockings strung across the mantel. The tree was lit, with their children’s artwork and an assortment of colorful decorations taking center stage. But it was his lovely wife who captivated him the most.

  He stood for a moment, taking her in. In a red sweater and trim black skirt, her spectacular legs cloaked by matching tights, she was as gorgeous as ever.

  His heart swelling with love, he strolled toward her. “Did you get your Christmas letter done yet?”

  Bess motioned for him to take a place beside her on the sofa. A
s he sank down beside her, she showed him her handiwork. “Almost.”

  He breathed in her sweet feminine scent, as he leaned in to study the handwritten note. He pressed a cheek to her temple. “Was it hard to compose?”

  She bussed his jawline, then drew back far enough to smile at him provocatively. “Only in the sense that I didn’t want to go on ad nauseam.”

  He chuckled, knowing exactly what she meant. They were living an enviably happy life these days. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and guessed, “But you did have a lot of good things to report.”

  “Oh, yes.” She set her letter aside and shifted over onto his lap. Then, settling her arms around him, she gazed into his eyes. “Starting with the fact that our two six-month-old sons are the spitting image of their very handsome daddy.”

  It was hard to believe they now had two boys and three girls.

  She stroked her thumb across his cheek. “And their three older sisters love entertaining them.”

  He turned his head and kissed the back of her hand. They exchanged smiles. Another wave of joy swept through him as he wrapped a wayward lock of her silky hair around his fingertip. “As do we and the beloved Mrs. D.”

  Bess mugged playfully. “What would we do without her?”

  She was definitely a member of their family. “Not sure either of us ever want to find out.” Although once again, Mrs. D. had cut back on her hours just a little bit and only worked days now. Which gave Jack and Bess all the privacy they needed during the evenings.

  He murmured, “Seriously, it has been a very good year.”

  “A very good two years,” Bess corrected.

  During that time, they’d married. She’d sold her home at a tidy little profit. And like her twin sister, she had delivered twin boys.

  “Indeed.”

  She gazed over at their two golden retrievers. They were grown dogs now, and as loving and gentle spirited as they were playful. “Lady Grace and Princess Abigayle would certainly agree, too.” Exhausted by an afternoon of playing with the kids, the two pets snuggled side by side in their cushioned dog beds.

 

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