Leaning back, he closed his eyes. “I pictured different things,” he murmured.
She stared at the screen and tried to keep her voice steady. “I did, too. I’m sorry.”
Without meeting her eyes, he said, “It’s not your fault.”
Not her fault?
Of course it was. She’d insisted on getting pregnant when she knew he wasn’t ready.
They spent the advance from their running manual on The Finish Line. Instead they could have taken a vacation, a childless vacation, gotten to know each other. Or put the money toward a house.
It was too late for all of that.
Because of her impatience, Brett found himself in a situation he didn’t want to be in.
All this was entirely her fault.
But she could fix it.
“When are you leaving?” she asked.
Put that out there. If he wanted to move out, she wanted him to do it as soon as possible. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt so much then.
He cracked his eyes open. They glittered hard in her monitor’s glow. “What?”
“Leaving. Moving out.” She paused. “Drew stays with me. We’ll figure out visitation through a family attorney, I guess. Since we’re not married.”
Brett sprang from the chair, and Alyssa reared back, her heart leaping into her throat.
Drew shifted in his sleep.
“Are you kicking me out?” he asked, his chest heaving.
She gripped the armrests of her desk chair until her knuckles ached. “You mean you weren’t talking about leaving?”
“No!” He grimaced and shot a quick look at the sleeping little boy. “No. Why would you think that? Do you want me to go? I know things haven’t been . . .”
She waited. She wanted to see how he would describe the last year.
“I haven’t been here for you the way I should have. The way I promised I would be. The way I’ve wanted to be.”
He sank to his knees in front of her and pressed his face into her belly.
She ran her fingers through his hair.
“I miss you and Drew.”
Her muscles relaxed and the tension drained out of her. “You meant The Finish Line.”
Brett lifted his head. “Of course I meant The Finish Line. What did you think I meant?”
“Me.”
“That’s how messed up the last year and a half have been. We’re not on the same page. You and Drew are the best things to happen to me. I need more time with you. I missed his entire first year because I spent fourteen fucking hours a day at the bar getting it off the ground. Now I do it because it’s the place to be, and I don’t want to do it anymore. I miss you.”
“Why didn’t you say something sooner?”
Brett’s fingers dug into the flabby flesh of her midsection. “Because I didn’t feel like I could. Dane and Ian never would have accomplished what we have without my help. At least, not so soon.”
She hugged him to her. “I didn’t know you felt that way.”
“I didn’t want to complain, but I missed Drew’s first tooth, his first word. His first steps. I need more, Alyssa. Before it’s too late. I hope you understand.”
“I do, but it’s not up to me.”
“Dane and Ian aren’t going to like what I have to say, and I don’t want that to cause problems for you with Nik and Marta.”
“I think that’s the least of our worries if you really want Dane and Ian to buy you out.”
He blew out a breath. “Let’s run away. Stay in Florida with your parents. Drew can chase birds on the beach. Let your mom babysit and we’ll spend time together. Just us. No stress, no exhaustion. I want to make love to you. I’ve missed you in all the ways I can miss you.”
“I’m sorry it’s been so long.” She wanted to make love too, and they’d tried a couple of times. Her body had still been healing, and the way she looked was too reminiscent of the way her body had been before she started running.
He opened her robe and lifted the satin nightgown she wore underneath. Nikki bought it for her after Drew’s birth. She said she still wanted Alyssa to look pretty and after a difficult delivery, it helped. Washing her hair, putting on a bit of makeup, wearing real clothes instead of pajamas, it helped.
But that didn’t mean she wanted him looking at her.
“Brett. I don’t think—”
“Let me touch you. I won’t hurt you.”
She wanted him to touch her, but she didn’t want him grossed out by the way she looked.
“Please?”
Another minute went by. “Okay.”
She lifted her ass a little to give him room to pull up the nightgown and slip her godawful granny-panties from her chubby thighs.
It always amazed her that he could love her while she looked like this. When he could have his choice from the bevy of busty brunettes that hung around marathon headquarters.
The alliteration made her smile, and as Brett nudged her into the chair, desire pooled in her belly. It had been a long time since she felt it. The want of his hands on her.
As he pushed the nightgown farther up, over her breasts, she pushed back the shame.
They hung heavier now, lined with deep blue veins. He took a nipple into his mouth, and she gasped. “God.”
“I used to get jealous watching you feed our son. I wanted to be where he was, sucking on you, giving you pleasure.” He tugged on her other nipple.
“Brett.”
“Shh.” He whispered his lips over all her stretch marks, fierce and red; some still hadn’t faded to the silvery-white she hoped for. “You are so beautiful. You grew our son right here,” he said against her skin, near her bellybutton. “I will never have the words to thank you for the family you’ve given me.”
His sweet words made her forget her insecurities, and she wiped the fine sheen of tears from her eyes.
Kissing lower, he paused. “I don’t want to hurt you, Alyssa. You’ll tell me if I do?”
“What hurt me was thinking when you came home from closing the bar tonight you wanted to leave me.”
He gripped her thighs, met her eyes in the streaky lights of her screensaver. “We’re only a year and a half in. You’ve got me for a lot longer than that.”
For once she wasn’t self-conscious about her flab hanging out, or the way her boobs rested on her gut. Brett looked at her like she was the most beautiful thing on earth, and if he could see that when he looked at her, then she would cut herself some slack.
He nudged her thighs apart and she tensed.
Not out of fear he would hurt her, but out of apprehension and anticipation. It’d been a long time.
She hadn’t shaved, either, and he had to search for a moment before his fingers found her.
“This is a new version of hide and seek,” he said, before lowering his head.
She laughed, but his tongue seared her, cutting her off, and she jerked away.
“Sit still.”
She scooted to the edge of the chair and widened her legs.
“That’s the way, baby,” he said and continued to lick at her.
Slowly, he pushed a finger inside her.
She was so wet, and it felt good, though maybe still a little sore. Maybe not sore, but . . . unaccustomed to activity down there.
Pressing her head into the back of her chair, she arched into his mouth.
He added another finger and he sucked at her clit.
She came, swallowing her moan. She didn’t want to wake Drew.
Brett worked at her, drawing out the last of her orgasm, until she couldn’t take it anymore and she pulled away from him.
She flopped into the chair, perspiration covering her skin, her heart racing.
“Was that good for you?” he asked.
“Yeah. I needed that.” She blew out a breath. “I, ah, forgot how good you are. Thanks.”
Smirking, he said, “Don’t thank me, return the favor.”
He stood and held out his hand.
&nbs
p; Her come dripped down her thighs as she stood on shaky legs.
When she approached the crib to bring Drew downstairs with them, Brett tugged her away. “Turn the monitor on. He’ll be okay for a bit. Maybe you can ask Nikki to take him later. You’re going to need a nap after staying up all night.”
“Who said anything about staying up all night?”
“I did. I’m not done with you yet. Plus, Ian said he wants to meet with all of us in the morning.”
“For what?” she asked, following her fiancé down the stairs.
“Beats me. He said he got a phone call and needs to talk to us. I said we’d meet him at the bar at ten before we open up for lunch.”
“That doesn’t sound good.”
“Nope. But I’m thinking about other things right now.”
Alyssa laughed and pushed him into their bedroom. She set the monitor on the nightstand to listen for their son if he woke before his parents were done playing.
She paused by the bed.
“We’ll take it slow. I promise,” he said, taking his clothes off.
“I know.”
They made love as the spring sun came up, and his kisses chased her doubts away.
Dane
Dane Montgomery turned off his phone’s alarm before it went off and woke his wife.
He rolled over and brushed her hair from her face.
Nikki Montgomery.
He loved the sound of that.
Almost as much as he loved the woman who carried the name.
His hand lightly trailed over her shoulder to the large baby bump between them.
That he didn’t love so much. The risk involved. Especially since there were two. He’d let her talk him into it though, and now at six months along there was no going back.
Her large blue eyes blinked open and a sleepy smile crossed her lips.
She could talk him into doing anything.
All she had to do was open her mouth and he agreed before she even spoke a word.
“Going for a run?” she asked.
“Yeah. I gotta blow off some steam.”
The only runner in the group now, he made the time for at least a six mile run every day. Between taking care of his wife and his management duties at The Finish Line, stress weighed heavy.
“Are you okay?” Nikki asked, cradling his cheek in her palm.
“Worried about you.”
“I’m okay. I feel good.” She paused. “She knows what we’re sacrificing to do this for her and Jack.”
“It doesn’t seem like enough.”
She dropped her hand and the second she did, he missed her touch. He hated it when they fought. Not fighting, exactly, but having discussions that didn’t go his way.
“My sister can’t afford to pay us, and I wouldn’t take her money even if she could. I wish . . .”
“What?”
“I wish I would have thought of being a surrogate for Stacy before I met you. Before we married. I hate this causes us problems.”
He rested his hand on the babies she carried for her sister and brother-in-law. It didn’t creep him out she had a part of Jack inside her. That was fine. He considered the babies only babies, and she never had Jack’s sperm inside her. Two of Stacy’s fertilized eggs had been implanted into Nikki’s uterus with the hope one would stick.
Both of them had, much to everyone’s delight but his.
One of the babies kicked under his touch.
“It would have been nice if they were ours, that’s all.”
He’d seen the way Drew transformed Brett. Fatherhood suited his friend.
Dane had had reservations about what kind of father Brett was going to be, but he never said anything, trusting Alyssa and Brett to know what they were doing. His worries were unfounded. Brett was an amazing dad, and Dane wanted that, too.
Now he had to wait.
Nikki would have a cesarean section in Chicago—where Stacy and Jack lived—to deliver the babies. He would drive his wife, pregnant with a boy and a girl, his niece and nephew, and he would drive her home empty-handed, leaving behind the babies she’d grown inside her for nine months.
It didn’t seem fair, and he hoped she made it through as well as she kept saying she would.
He had his doubts. How could a woman not get attached to babies that her body nourished—she didn’t create these babies, a Petrie dish had done that—for close to a year. Nourishing them now while she lay there, his hand caressing the place where the twins grew.
“You’ve been so busy with the bar. You know Brett missed a lot of Drew’s first year. He complains about it all the time. I think this is good timing. When we have our own you’ll be freer to enjoy your son or daughter. Or both. It’s a good thing we’re doing for my sister, and you know how much I love you for going along with it.”
He did know. He’d just learned to keep his unhappiness to himself and only tell his therapist how giving away these two babies would make him feel. Nikki wouldn’t be the only one to experience the loss as they drove away.
Leaning over, he pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Do you feel good enough to work?”
“Yeah, I’m good. You said you’re meeting everyone at the bar this morning?”
“Yep. Ian said he has some news.”
“You’ll have to tell me what he says.”
“I will. I need to get going or I won’t have time to shower.”
“I’m getting up soon, too. Stacy wants to video chat before I go in. They’ve started working on the nursery.”
“Good for her.”
He tried to keep the sarcasm out of his voice, but she heard it anyway and swatted at his arm as he rolled out of bed.
She did have a point about timing. By the time she healed and felt like carrying the baby they wanted to start their family, two years will have perhaps gone by. Maybe three.
Carrying the twins took a lot out of her and she tried to hide it, but if she wasn’t at the store, she was watching TV with her feet propped up, or sleeping.
Maybe they’d be in a house by then.
Helping get The Finish Line off the ground hadn’t given them any time to house hunt and they still lived in the apartment Nikki moved into when she took the job at the Tower City Running Company.
She loved being close to Alyssa, Brett, and Drew, but every time he stepped into the hallway, he thought of the way he let Eric manipulate him and it made him want to throw up.
He wouldn’t be sad to say goodbye to the building and all the crappy memories with it.
When he came back from his run, Nikki was showered, sipping on decaf coffee, and logging off the video chat with her sister. She looked adorable in a pink maternity tunic and leggings, Princess Snowflake circling her ankles while she stood at the kitchen counter where they kept the laptop.
Stacy was a ball of nerves, possibly because she lived so far away and felt out of control. Dane resented her wanting to know Nikki’s every movement, but his wife seemed to take it in stride, promising she wasn’t eating junk food, exercising regularly, and not scooping the cat’s litter.
She was doing everything she could to have a healthy pregnancy, and he kept his nose out of it. The shared pregnancy was between her and her sister.
He grinned, tolerated it, and spent all his time at The Finish Line.
Rubbing her belly, he kissed her. “Sorry about earlier.”
“It’s okay. Just a couple more months, then it will be over.”
He didn’t think it would be that easy, but he waved the white surrender flag and retreated to the shower.
Nikki poked her head into the bathroom to say goodbye before leaving to open the store, and the apartment was quiet as Dane dressed. It wasn’t his turn to close the bar tonight, but it would be a long day.
Opening his own store had prepared him for that, and the time he spent bullshitting with Brett and Ian while they slung drinks and delivered food to packed tables made the shifts go by.
When Dane pulled into the l
ot, Bobbi’s car was already parked next to Brett’s and Ian’s.
He whistled as he let himself in.
“You look like crap,” he said to Brett who grinned and hugged Alyssa to him.
They sat at a table for eight in the middle of the room, carafes giving off the delicious scent of coffee.
“I finally got some this morning, so no sleep,” Brett said.
“For fuck’s sake,” Alyssa said, her face bright red. “Tell everyone, why don’t you.”
“I just did. Like anyone cares.” Brett laughed.
“I care,” Dane said, just to be contrary.
“Nikki’s bigger than a house already. You ain’t getting any.”
He gave Brett the finger.
Brett only laughed because he knew it was true.
Stacy didn’t want them having sex even though Nikki’s doctor said it was perfectly natural and safe if they wanted to be intimate. At least that was one area Nikki didn’t do what her sister asked. But as the weeks went on and she grew more uncomfortable, the times they messed around were fewer and fewer, and instead of sex, they cuddled and he massaged her feet.
He tried to think of this as a practice round for the real thing.
“I’m glad you’re feeling better,” he said to Alyssa.
She hadn’t stopped blushing and she muttered, “Thanks.”
It had to be tough, everyone knowing everyone else’s business. Alyssa’s difficult delivery wasn’t a secret, and the Alyssa Nikki and Dane knew had taken a while to come back.
“Where’s Nik?” Ian asked, coming into the dining room from the kitchen sipping from a white mug.
“She had to open the store. Margie took the day off and there was nobody else. I’ll fill her in later.”
“Okay. We’ll start in a second.” Ian stood at the head of the table and waited for everyone to settle in and pour coffee.
Dane sat next to Marta who was texting on her phone. “How’re you doing, kid?”
“I’m tired.”
“More sex,” Brett said, raising his coffee cup.
“Fuck off.” Marta held back a smile.
Dane poured a cup of coffee. “Naughty. Good thing the kids aren’t around. Shyla picks up on that stuff faster than shit. She’d have the mouth of a sailor if you let her.”
The Finish Line Page 2