Once Upon a Bride: A Novella (Bridesmaids Behaving Badly)

by Jenny Holiday

  “I’d be terrible at it.”

  “I remember you said that. But are you sure? Do you understand what you’re missing out on? Or if you only want me because I can’t have them, that makes me feel kind of—” She shook her head. “I’m sorry. It’s way too early to be talking about this stuff.”

  “Will you stop?” For the first time since she’d met him, he sounded truly annoyed at her. But then he shook his head fondly and softened he voice. “I want you. Full stop. Whatever package of qualities come with you, that’s what I want.”

  Wow. Tears gathered in the corner of her eyes.

  “And for the record, it’s not too early to be talking about this.”

  “We only just slept together for the first time. We’ve known each other two months.”

  He shrugged like time was a minor detail not to be concerned with. Like it didn’t apply to them. And maybe it didn’t. The thought was buoying. No, it was exhilarating. “So this is it?” she asked.

  “This is it.”

  “I always kind of worried about the kid thing being a barrier,” she confessed.

  “Do you want them?” Was it her imagination, or did he stiffen a little?

  “I’ve always known it wasn’t going to happen for me, so it’s not really a question I’ve spent much time worrying about.”

  He smiled—a big, wide, delighted smile that gradually turned hotter, more wicked. “Well then, Elise Maxwell, I’d say we’re ideally suited. Hiring you was the best goddamn decision I ever made in my life.”

  All she could do was sigh happily. And also sort of frustratingly, because the way that smile had morphed before her eyes was making her achy again. Restless.

  But then his phone buzzed. “Shit. I’m sorry, I should get that. It’s probably Patricia. She’s freaking out because I told her to cancel my morning appointments tomorrow so we could...” He waggled his eyebrows. “Sleep in.”

  “Right.” She somehow doubted they were going to get any sleep, either tonight or in the morning. But the idea of a lazy morning holed up with Jay playing hooky was pretty much the best thing she could imagine.

  “Ha!” He threw his head back and laughed, tickled by whatever he’d read on his phone. “It is Patricia.”

  “So late on a Sunday night?”

  “I do feel a little bad about that. I’m not acting like myself, and it’s throwing her for a loop.” He winced. “I’m afraid my not being there tomorrow morning is creating more work for her. I also had her cancel everything on Friday when the rugs suddenly arrived, so I could hightail it to your place. So basically we’re two for two on me bailing on work for booty calls, and she’s having to compensate.”

  “But were they really booty calls?” she teased. “The first one was more of a Yahtzee call.”

  He didn’t laugh, just stared at her for a long moment before saying. “No. They weren’t booty calls. They were everything calls.”

  Everything. That was the thing about Jay. He could give her screaming orgasms, take care of her when she was hurting, admire her professional talents, and sink her battleships. He kind of was everything. On the one hand, she should feel like they were moving too fast. But on the other hand, she didn’t feel that way. He was right somehow: by some alchemy she didn’t understand, it wasn’t too early to be talking seriously about the future.

  “Well, poor Patricia.” Elise felt bad. But not bad enough to tell him to go to work tomorrow. She wanted her lazy morning.

  “I’ll give her some time off to compensate.” Still looking at the phone, he barked a laugh.

  “Everything okay?”

  “She reports that the big rug in my office has a tear in it. I guess I didn’t notice in my hurry to get out of there Friday.”

  “Oh.” That was funny, given all sexually charged meaning they’d jokingly invested in the rug. Still, it was brand new, and it hadn’t been cheap. “We’ll send it back.”

  He whipped his gaze to hers, interrupting his typing. “No, we won’t.”

  “It’s defective!” she argued. “You can’t just spend two grand on a rug that’s defective from the get-go.”

  “I can do whatever I want. I’m the client. That rug has symbolic value, and it’s staying.”

  She was flattered, but he wasn’t being reasonable. “Come on. You’re not the superstitious type.”

  “Elise.” He set his phone aside. “Listen to me very carefully. The rug stays.” Something flared in his eyes. “I’m going to be buried with that goddamn rug. Just roll me up in it and heave me into the ground.”

  All right then. Elise fanned herself with her hands. She had a feeling that being cold wasn’t going to be a problem anymore.

  “Now,” he said, pushing his phone farther away, so far that it clattered off the bed onto the ground, “let’s try the whole keep your hands on the headboard thing again.”

  Epilogue

  Four months later

  The text came in when Elise was out with her friends. She and Wendy and Jane had planned a night of drinks and dinner. Gia had flown in at the last minute, which was a bit of a surprise because she’d been back only a week ago, and she was in the middle of a job in California. But whatever, she’d take Gia whenever she could get her.

  I sent the rug back.

  Normally, she wouldn’t answer a text while she was out with the girls, but this particular one was impossible to ignore. They were sitting at a bar having cocktails, and she turned away to try to reply without drawing too much attention to herself.

  What? The ripped one?

  She tamped down a little spurt of panic. It was just a rug. She was the one who’d tried to talk him into returning it in the first place. It didn’t have any inherent meaning. Just because it was a silly symbol for their relationship didn’t mean it had any actual power over their fate.

  “Is that Jay?” Gia asked.

  “Judging by how alarmed she looks,” Wendy said, “I’m gonna go with Daddy dearest.”

  Jane laughed, but then she stopped, like she was trying to hide it. Elise looked at her friends. What was up with them? If Wendy really thought Elise’s father was texting, she’d be all up in her face about it, rushing to defend Elise from what she perceived as the enemy.

  Her phone dinged again.

  Yeah. I thought it was time to get a new one. Come over and see if you like it.

  You got a new rug without consulting me?

  That might have come off a little shrewish, but she was his designer. And he was in the advantageous position of not being charged for design services these days.

  Come see it. If you don’t like it, I’ll return it. Bring the girls.

  “Seriously,” Wendy said, “Who is texting and making you make those faces?”

  Elise looked up. “It is Jay. He got a new rug at the office, and he wants me to come over and see it.” Which, said out loud, sounded like a dumb thing to be texting about. The girls didn’t know about the rug subtext. They’d all enthusiastically endorsed her whirlwind romance with Jay, but Elise was maybe guilty of not telling them every single detail. Which was a new one for her. But… She felt her face heat as she thought back to Jay working her over so expertly and thoroughly this morning before they got out of bed. Some things were private.

  She picked up her phone. “Anyway, I’ll tell him I’ll see it later.”

  “Let’s go see it!” Jane said with a strange amount of enthusiasm.

  Elise narrowed her eyes. “It’s eight on Friday night. We’re all together”—she shot Gia an affectionate look—“so we’re not going to an accounting firm to look at a rug!”

  “Mmm, look at a rug.” Gia snorted. “Sounds like it could be a euphemism for something dirty.”

  Wendy hopped off her barstool. “Let’s go. This place is boring anyway.”

  “And Cohen & Smith is…not boring?” Elise grinned. “Besides the décor, I mean. The décor is the opposite of boring.”

  Wendy slapped down a wad of cash and was halfway to the
door when the others shrugged. They all knew there was no point in trying to talk Wendy out of anything.

  Fifteen minutes later, they were on their way up the elevator to Jay’s office. “Hey, maybe after we’re done here, I can show you guys the bank job.” She’d redone the HR department of a major bank, which spanned three floors of Jay’s building. It hadn’t been the most exciting job because she had to work within a narrow corporate-approved color palette, but it did lead to another job doing the CEO’s house, which had been an exciting one in that she’d been given carte blanche—and a huge budget. Still, she was proud of her work in the bank offices. It was a living testament to how far she’d come, and if they were on-site anyway, she wanted to show it to her best friends.

  “For sure!” Gia said. “I totally want to see it.”

  “Yes!” Wendy echoed, with an uncharacteristic degree of excitement.

  What was wrong with her friends? They were way too chipper.

  “Ladies.” When they pushed through the heavy oak doors to the Cohen & Smith lobby, Jay rose from a sofa. He must have been waiting for them.

  His eyes roamed over everyone as he greeted her friends, but then his intense gaze landed on Elise and stuck there. “Hi.”

  “Hi.” Her heart stuttered. It had been four months, but he still had that effect on her.

  “Oh, for Christ’s sake,” Wendy said. “Get a room.”

  “We just said hi!” Elise protested, but she knew what Wendy meant. Jay’s intense look had not dimmed. It promised possession and protection and tenderness, and, amazingly, the doses of those things he delivered seemed to grow with each passing day.

  “Let’s see this magical rug,” Gia said, “and you two can get on with it.”

  “We’re going for dinner,” Elise said to the girls as they followed Jay into his office. They’d booked tonight as a girls’ night, and they were sticking to it. She would admit to being a little torn, though. Now that she was in close proximity to Jay, it was hard not to want him to throw her over his shoulder and cart her off to have his way with her. But she wouldn’t admit to that publicly. Besides, Mr. Intense Look would wait up for her.

  They filed into Jay’s office. The old rug—the ripped one—was still there.

  “I thought you returned it.”

  “Well, yeah, I didn’t actually.”

  Huh? He just told her, via text not thirty minutes ago, that he had returned it.

  Jay moved over to the rug, which wasn’t in its usual place under the coffee table, anchoring the casual seating area in his office. It had been sort of awkwardly placed next to that area.

  “Well, you can’t leave it there. It looks terrible there.”

  “I got a new one. It’s underneath it.”

  What? That was so strange. “You can’t leave the new one there, either. You can’t put any rug in that spot. It’s squished in and not anchored with anything and looks totally random. Whichever rug you’re using needs to go back under the seating area.”

  Gia coughed, and Jane made a point of clapping her on the back. They looked like they were sharing a secret joke.

  “Yeah, they’re just out here temporarily to show you,” Jay said, crouching down and snagging the corner of the old rug.

  “You are so weird.”

  He shot her a grin, then knelt and started rolling the rug back. “The new rug is underneath.”

  “That color doesn’t work in here.” It was a dark red. Not a bad color inherently, just not for this office. “And I’m not sure a straight-up solid is what you want in here. A print would—”

  Gia’s coughing fit seemed to take a turn for the worse. A little alarmed, Elise turned and walked over to her, but Gia just shook her head and made urgent pointing gestures back toward Jay and the stupid rugs.

  She turned back. Okay, the rug did have some pattern in it. A white loopy—

  She gasped. He wasn’t kneeling in order to roll the rug back. He was on one knee gazing at her with undisguised love. And those loopy things were letters. The rug had words woven into it.

  Will you marry me?

  Jay had been pretty confident she would say yes. He’d put his odds at maybe ninety per cent. They were moving fast, objectively speaking, but from the inside, it felt like they were moving at just the right speed.

  But in that moment, with her standing there, post-gasp, utterly silent as she stared at the rug, fear started to sink its claws into his gut. Maybe it was too soon. Or the rug thing, which had seemed like a cute inside joke when he thought it up, was actually really dumb and not even remotely worthy of her. He should have hired a freaking skywriter. He should have—

  “Yes. Of course.” She looked down at him with watery eyes. “Of course I’ll marry you.”

  All his fears flitted away as she pulled him back to standing and threw herself into his arms. He could feel her shaking, so he held her tighter. Buried his face in her hair and marveled that she’d said yes. She was his. He was never going to let go.

  He’d meant that last sentiment metaphorically, but when she eventually pulled back against him, he had a hard time lowering his arms and letting her step out of his embrace.

  He was glad he had, though, because the look she gave him, so full of love and heat and promise, was not a sight he would have liked to miss.

  He cleared his throat. “I didn’t get you a ring. I figured you’d have opinions.”

  “Smart man,” Wendy deadpanned.

  The interjection reminded him—and her, judging from the way her eyebrows shot up—that they had an audience.

  She turned, and her friends rushed her. He stood back and grinned at the group hug that transformed into a group squeal.

  When it broke up, Elise kept one arm slung around Gia’s waist. “This is why you’re in town!”

  “Yup. When Jay told us he was doing this, I knew I had to be here.”

  “Really, he didn’t tell us,” Jane said. “It was more like asking our permission.”

  “It totally was!” Wendy confirmed.

  She looked at him, equal parts amused and incredulous. He shrugged. “It wasn’t like I was going to ask your parents. And anyway, you all are kind of a package deal, right?”

  He was teasing, but not really. The early weeks of his relationship with Elise had been insular, private. But he’d learned pretty quickly that these women were her soul sisters. And he was glad of it. Each was amazing in her own right, and as a unit, they provided Elise with an unshakable support network.

  “We are a package deal.” Elise went in for another group hug with the girls.

  “Yeah,” Gia said, “We already gave him the if you hurt our friend we will rise as one and murder you in your sleep speech, so we’re all good.”

  “And then we signed off on this rug idea,” Jane said.

  Elise’s head popped up from this latest group hug. “The rug thing was great. It totally makes me think maybe we could incorporate some cute rugs into the wedding itself—you know, because they’re kind of our thing? Where did you get it?”

  “Well, I thought I was going to have to get it custom woven, but it turns out proposal rugs are a thing.”

  He chuckled. He could see her perfectionist designer brain firing up. Then her eyes sparked, and she lifted her arms to the sky like she was a revivalist preacher. “Oh my God! I have the best idea for a wedding venue.”

  A peal of laughter from Gia drew his attention. She was pulling a bottle of champagne out of a giant handbag. To his amusement, it was followed by five stemless plastic flutes. Gia, he had come to learn, was known for her giant bags, but even for her, that was impressive. She passed the glasses around, popped the cork to cheers from the group, and started pouring.

  When she was done, he followed her lead in lifting his glass.

  “I say this with love,” Gia said, winking at Elise, “but you are going to be such a bridezilla.”

  Bridesmaids Behaving Badly

  Don’t miss the rest of the books in the laugh-o
ut-loud Bridesmaids Behaving Badly series!

  ONE AND ONLY (available now!)

  In this laugh-out-loud romantic comedy, USA Today bestselling author Jenny Holiday proves that when opposites attract, sparks fly.

  Miss Responsibility meets Mr. Reckless

  With her bridezilla friend on a DIY project rampage, bridesmaid Jane Denning will do anything to escape – even if it means babysitting the groom’s troublemaker brother before the wedding. It should be a piece of cake, except the “cake” is a sarcastic former soldier who is 100% wicked hotness and absolutely off-limits.

  Cameron MacKinnon is ready to let loose after returning from his deployment. But first he’ll have to sweet talk the ultra-responsible Jane into taking a walk on the wild side. Turns out, riling her up is the best time he’s had in years. But what happens when the fun and games start to turn into something real?

  “One and Only is a satisfying iteration of the contemporary bridezilla subgenre.” –The New York Times Book Review

  IT TAKES TWO (available now!)

  In this hilarious romantic comedy, USA Today bestselling author Jenny Holiday proves that what happens in Vegas doesn’t always stay in Vegas…

  All’s fair in love and war

  Wendy Liu should be delighted to be her best friend’s maid of honor. But after years spent avoiding the bride’s brother – aka the boy who once broke her heart – she’s now trapped with him during an endless amount of wedding festivities. Luckily she’s had time to perfect her poker face, and engaging Noah Denning in a little friendly competition might just prove that she’s over him for good…

  Noah Denning is determined to make his little sister’s wedding memorable. But it seems Wendy is trying to outdo him at every turn. Challenging each other was always something he and Wendy did right, so when she proposes they compete to see who can throw the best bachelor or bachelorette party in Sin City, Noah takes the bait – and ups the stakes. Because this time around, he wants Wendy for keeps. And when you’re fighting for love, all bets are off.