How to Drive a Dragon Crazy

by G. A. Aiken

  She held up the claw, the palm toward them.

  “What is that?” Caswyn asked.

  “Tattoo. A rune of some kind.”

  “A rune?”

  “Runes mean Magick,” Aidan explained. “And Magick means gods.”

  Branwen nodded. “Exactly. We need to get this back to the queen.”

  “You’ll take it?”

  “No need. Rhiannon allows me to communicate directly with her like I do with me mum. And once we finish here, I’m going after Izzy. I don’t know what’s going on but . . .” Her words faded off and Aidan would at least admit to himself that he was afraid to ask her what she was thinking. He didn’t want to know what she was thinking. Ever.

  “I understand,” he said quickly before his comrades could argue the point. “We’ll go with you.”

  Branwen shrugged, headed back into the cavern. “Whatever.”

  Once she disappeared inside, Uther grabbed Aidan around the throat.

  “Have you lost your mind?”

  “I’m not going anywhere with her,” Caswyn said in a desperate whisper.

  “We’re Mì-runach,” Aidan choked out.

  “That doesn’t mean we’re stupid.”

  “No.” Aidan knocked Uther’s claw off. “But we are loyal to each other. And we’re not about to leave Éibhear alone with Izzy and her.”

  “She’s his cousin. I’m sure he’ll be safe.”

  “Loyalty,” Aidan reminded them. “Until death. Remember the commitment we made to the goddess of war and death, Eirianwen?”

  “Weren’t we drunk at the time?”

  “That’s not the point!”

  A Sand Eater’s head bounced out of the cavern and across the tunnel floor.

  “Sorry,” Branwen called out. “Lost me grip!”

  “But that big blue bastard will owe us for this,” Aidan vowed. “He’ll owe us big.”

  Chapter 28

  Coughing and shaking her head, Izzy tried to get all the damn sand off her.

  “Sorry about that.”

  Izzy dragged her fingers through her hair, still trying to get all the sand out. “Where the hells am I?”

  “Safe.”

  “Would you stop saying that. It’s bloody annoying!” She lifted her head and was finally able to open her eyes.

  Izzy gasped. “It’s beautiful.”

  The dragon who’d taken her smiled. “I’m glad you like it.” He moved around the cavern of the underground cave. “Our ancestors built this place eons ago and it still holds strong.”

  Standing in its center, Izzy could see that the cavern went on for miles, with tunnels and chambers shooting off from that.

  What she really loved, though, was how open and wide it all was, with light coming not from the few torches attached to the walls here and there, but from the giant colored crystals scattered about.

  The dragon seemed to notice that her gaze was focused on the crystals and he explained, “Leagues beneath is a lava river that feeds into the volcanic mountains in your Southlands. The light from that lava comes up through these crystals and illuminates these caverns.”

  “It really is beautiful.”

  “This is the true land of your people, Iseabail. It’s not surprising you’re drawn to what we have here.”

  Another dragon came around Izzy and over to the one who’d taken her. “We should go,” he said low.

  “Of course. Please,” he said to Izzy, “this way.”

  She followed after the dragons for several minutes until they turned down a tunnel. They traveled a few more minutes until the tunnel stopped at a huge chasm. The other dragon wrapped his tail around her waist and plopped her on his back.

  “Hey!”

  He didn’t answer, simply took flight over that chasm and kept flying until they reached a well-populated area filled with Sand dragons. Izzy stared with her mouth open. She saw the same colors of dragons that she saw among her own kin, but again, the Sand dragons had that bronze overlay. To her eyes, they all seemed to sparkle, laughter and conversation adding to the moment.

  Izzy knew she was dazzled, but she couldn’t help herself. They were all so beautiful.

  As the two dragons moved through the crowd, the others grew silent and openly stared at Izzy. She realized that this was a throne room. They were taking her to meet with their king.

  A small dais jutted from the rock wall and that’s where the dragon carrying Izzy stopped. Her kidnapper, however, kept walking until he’d stepped onto that dais and faced the court of dragons. That’s when everyone around Izzy kneeled, heads bowed. It was something even Rhiannon didn’t bother getting her subjects to do, the Southland dragons notoriously difficult about basic court etiquette. But these Sand dragons all kneeled without question . . . to Izzy’s kidnapper.

  Chewing her lip, she looked up, shrugged. Sorry, she mouthed at him. When he winked back, Izzy felt a little relief knowing she hadn’t brought down her grandmother’s alliance with a few snotty words. But that feeling of relief was all too brief when she heard war cries from outside the chamber.

  The guards immediately pulled their weapons, but the king held up his claw. “It’s all right. Allow him entry.”

  “My lord?”

  “Do as I instruct.”

  Izzy tapped the shoulder of the dragon she rode. “You may want to put me down now.”

  “You sure you’ll be all right?”

  “Safer than you, I’m afraid.” The dragon lowered himself to the ground and Izzy easily slid off. Good thing, too, because Éibhear came in just then, two axes out, sand still covering his hair, looking quite homicidal. She definitely found it sexy.

  Gods, I’m pathetic.

  “Éibhear,” she called up to him, worried he’d start killing all these frightened royals. “I’m fine.”

  “We leave now,” he ordered, silver eyes watching everyone.

  “Don’t you want to know, Fire Breather, why I felt the need to take Princess Iseabail?”

  Izzy smirked. “Princess Izzy. I like the sound of that.”

  “When I called you princess, you nearly bit my head off,” Éibhear needlessly reminded her.

  “Didn’t much like your tone when you said it, now did I?”

  “It’s always something with you, isn’t it?”

  “What’s that supposed to mean, you big bas—Macsen!” Izzy crouched down and opened her arms, Macsen diving into them, covering her with disgusting slobber and messy fur. She loved it.

  “Of course,” Éibhear complained, “you go for that damn dog first.”

  Eyes narrowing, Izzy accused, “You’re jealous.”

  “Of a dog?”

  “Of my dog. My loyal, dependable—”

  “—never speaks so it can’t tell you when you’re being an idiot—”

  “—dog!”

  Izzy looked around and stood. “Where did everybody go?”

  The cavern had cleared out, leaving Izzy, Éibhear, Macsen, and the Dragon King of the Desert Lands.

  Izzy faced the desert royal. He stared at them, his forearms folded over his chest, one talon tapping.

  “Sorry about that,” Izzy said.

  “Why are you apologizing?” Éibhear demanded. “He kidnapped you.”

  “He rescued me. There’s apparently a difference.”

  King Heru VII of the Desert Lands watched Princess Iseabail and the youngest son of the Dragon Queen bicker. That seemed to be all they did. Bicker. Once he’d realized that they wouldn’t stop soon, he’d ordered his court cleared. The last thing he needed was for his people to know exactly how ridiculous the Southland royal family truly was. He understood the value of having Rhiannon the White as an ally but there were still many who questioned the decision made centuries ago by his father to align themselves with the Fire Breathers. And that concern had only grown when it was discovered that the Southlanders had joined forces with the Lightning dragons out of the Northlands. Barbarians. Rhiannon had aligned her people with barbarians.r />
  “Are you two done?” he asked Iseabail and her—quote, unquote—uncle.

  The royal brat eyed him. “Who the hell are you?”

  “This is King Heru,” Iseabail introduced them, eyes widening in warning at the Blue.

  “Centaur shit.”

  “Éibhear!”

  “Why would the king of the Desert Lands kidnap you?”

  “What does that mean?”

  The Fire Breather frowned. “What do you think it means?”

  “You know exactly what I think it means. And I think you know that what I think it means is exactly what you’re meaning.”

  “That made absolutely no sense.”

  “Shut up.”

  “But—”

  “Just shut up.”

  Heru put his claws to his head. “Suns above. Are you two like this all the time?”

  The couple gazed at him and asked together, “What do you mean?”

  Rhi looked up from her sketch to see her grandmother standing a few feet away. “Hello, Gran.”

  “Hello, my dearest love. Do you have some time to talk?”

  “Of course.” She put aside her sketch.

  “Should I shift?” her grandmother asked.

  “No need.” Rhi gazed up at her. “I love seeing you like this. You’re beautiful.”

  Her grandmother stretched out, white wings extending from her back until they could lay flat, her tail reaching up and pulling fruits down from a nearby tree.

  “I had to look for you, Rhi. You weren’t at dinner with your kin, nor in your room, nor outside the grounds.”

  “Sorry. I just wasn’t in the mood to go to dinner tonight. I needed some time alone. That’s why I came here.”

  Grandmum looked around. “Did you create this yourself?”

  “Aye.”

  “Do you bring your cousins here?”

  “No.”

  “Smart girl. You know, it took me centuries to be able to create my own sacred space out of thin air, Rhi. When did you start?”

  “When I was six.”

  “Well, let’s never discuss that again.” Her grandmother placed a book open in front of her. “Do you recognize this rune?”

  “I do.”

  “Do you know the god it belongs to?”

  “I do.”

  “Have you talked to him?”

  Rhi nodded. “Aye.”

  “Often?”

  “No, no. Just once.” She leaned in and whispered, “I didn’t really like him.”

  “Did you make him go away?”

  “No. That was Talwyn. She really didn’t like him. I think the fact that he not only didn’t have eyes but no eye holes, really bothered her. She charged him with her sword. She was eight.”

  Grandmum put her talons to her temples and closed her eyes.

  “You all right, Grandmum?”

  “Just a bit of a headache.”

  “Oh.” Rhi adjusted the sky so that it wasn’t so vibrantly blue and instead was a soft and soothing pink. “Is that better?”

  Grandmum opened her eyes and blinked up at the sky. “Did you just do that?”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “You know, love, you don’t seem to have a problem controlling all this. Yet you can’t seem to control other aspects of your power. I find that surprising.”

  “I can control this because I’m not upset. Or angry. And I haven’t seen Talwyn and Talan all day, so I haven’t had to get in the middle of one of their fights.” She made her hands into fists. “I hate when they fight,” she growled out.

  “They’re not fighting,” her grandmum soothed. “It’s just us.”

  Rhi let out a breath and unclenched her hands. “Exactly.”

  “Um . . . Rhi?”

  “Yes?”

  “Did Chramn—”

  “Don’t say his name.”

  “Does it have power?”

  “No, it’s just ugly sounding.”

  “Right. Okay. Well . . . that particular god’s rune. Do you know why anyone would tattoo it into their flesh?”

  “Only those in his cult.”

  “He has a cult?”

  “When he came to me, I don’t think he did.”

  “But he does now?”

  “I sensed he was planning one.”

  “Planning a cult?”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “And you know this because—”

  “I remember him saying he wanted me as his chosen one and there would be thousands, perhaps millions worshipping my existence.”

  “You’re his chosen one?”

  “No. He wanted me to be his chosen one. I don’t think I was anything to him.”

  “And you turned down the worship of millions?”

  “Grandmum,” Rhi said, exasperated, “if you think Daddy’s bad now about calling me and Iz his perfect, perfect daughters. . . imagine if I had the worship of millions? Millions! And you know what would happen then? Uncle Fearghus and Uncle Gwenvael would have to kill him because Daddy wouldn’t stop going on about it. And with Uncle Éibhear rarely being here, he wouldn’t be able to stop them. Honestly, I did it for the best of the family.

  “Besides,” she said in a whisper and pointing at her face, “he had no eye holes. I try not to judge, Grandmum, and people are tragically born with all sorts of problems every day. But he’s a god! Are you telling me he couldn’t get that fixed?” Rhi pressed her hand to her face, chewed on her lip a bit. “I’m a horrible person, aren’t I?”

  Grandmum pressed her snout to the side of Rhi’s face. “I don’t know if I’ve ever told you this, Rhianwen, but you are truly worthy to be my granddaughter.”

  “Aww, thanks, Grandmum.” Izzy reached up and hugged her grandmother’s snout. “I love you, too.”

  “Now,” Grandmum said, pulling away, “we’ve got some work to do. You up for it?”

  “Of course. What do you need?”

  Grandmum looked around again at the space Rhi had made herself when she was six and tired of the twins’ constant bickering. After a moment, she smiled at Rhi, and said, “I think this will do.”

  Chapter 29

  They were escorted down a long tunnel to a chamber. It wasn’t as large as some of the other chambers Éibhear had seen in this underground cave, but it was comfortable enough, with a bed, table, chairs, and a fire pit and freshly slaughtered cow piled right outside the entrance.

  “We’ll come fetch you when it’s time for dinner,” the guard said.

  “Are you expecting us to stay?” Éibhear demanded.

  Because he had no intention of staying. No desire to. He wanted to get Izzy out of here and someplace safe. But the king had insisted they take this chamber and now it seemed he was insisting—through his guards—that they had to have dinner with him. And since everyone around here followed his bloody orders, Éibhear actually had little say in the matter.

  “You and his lordship will be dining as human. Princess Iseabail, clothes will be sent to you.”

  “Thank you.”

  “And we suggest you keep the dog in this chamber. It will be protected here, but through the rest of our lordship’s kingdom, it’ll just look like a running snack.”

  “Understood.”

  The guard nodded at Izzy. “Princess.” Glared at Éibhear and growled, “Prince.”

  Once they were gone, Izzy said, “You do seem to make friends wherever you go.”

  “Don’t blame me for this.”

  “It’s not my fault either!”

  “I never said it was!”

  “Then why are we yelling?”

  “I really don’t know!” Éibhear blew out a breath. “That was fun.”

  “Sorry.” Izzy walked over to the bed and sat on it. “This shouldn’t have happened.”

  “But it did, and we’ll handle it. We always do.”

  “You don’t understand, Éibhear. You shouldn’t be here.”

  Éibhear shifted to human and walked all the way into the chamber. Izzy gl
anced at him, then quickly looked away. “Put on some leggings.”

  “Does my manliness overwhelm your delicate lady sensibilities?”

  “You do know I’m still armed?”

  “All right. All right.” He dug into his travel bag and pulled out a pair of leather leggings. He pulled them on, and sat on the bed beside Izzy.

  “Do you really not want me here?” he asked.

  “No, I don’t want you here.”

  Ow. Well, no one could say that Izzy wasn’t direct.

  “Izzy, you don’t have to worry. I have no plans to . . . prolong our relationship any further.”

  Izzy looked at him. “What are you talking about?”

  “I don’t want you to worry that I only followed you in the hopes of getting you into my bed again.”

  “You don’t have a bed. Uther says you only have a bedroll.”

  “I mean my proverbial bed.”

  “Oh.” She stared at him a moment longer, then asked, “What does us fucking have to do with anything?”

  “Isn’t that why you don’t want me here?”

  “No.”

  Éibhear took a moment to rub his eyes and breathe. When in battle, Izzy had the most amazing focus. But before and after battle . . . well, it couldn’t be helped. He had to work with what he had.

  “Then what does it matter if I’m here or not?”

  “I have no idea.”

  Éibhear began to work on his temples with the tips of his fingers because that’s where his headache was settling. “And yet you don’t want me here?”

  “Right.”

  “Because . . . ?”

  “Because Rhydderch Hael wants you here.”

  Éibhear lowered his hands. “Rhydderch Hael? You haven’t mentioned him in ages.”

  “We stopped speaking after the birth of the twins. But he showed up again right after you arrived to fetch me back to Garbhán Isle. Then I saw him again just before the first Sand dragon attacked me at the salt mines. He’s used me to get you where he needs you, and that just pisses me off.”

  “Me? What does he want with me? You’re the one with the blood debt to him.”