by Skylar Platt
CHAPTER NINE
NATALIE
I’m such an idiot I thought. The phone calls had stopped and he had yet to show up on my doorstep. Joel doesn’t play games and I’ve tried to taunt him into the one I. MUST. STOP. PLAYING.
I was so afraid he was going to break my heart that I did it for him and here I sit alone and he isn’t going to come after me. Why would he? Of course, there is the other part of me that is saying, ‘See, I told you so.’ Nope, I’d gone and done it this time. If he had abandoned me at such a key time in my life without any warning, and with just a note, I’d never forgive him.
The hard knock on the door rousted me from my stupor.
He stared down at me, rain blowing into the tiny foyer. His eyes were not warm. Instead they were red-rimmed and his face was shaded with dark circles under them. He did not smile. He looked like hell.
I started to speak and he held up his hand.
“No, I get to go first. I have some things I need to get off my chest before you try to explain yourself.”
I stood still and waited as he raked his hand through his hair flinging water onto the rug.
“How dare you walk out on me like that in the middle of the most important week of my entire career!” He was breathing heavily now, his mouth and face tight with anger. My jaw dropped. “And a note? I get a cryptic note! That’s what I meant to you?”
“No, I..” he held up his hand again.
“I am not done.” He took another breath. My heart was racing, tears streaming down my cheeks. He didn’t come here to save this. “Do you have any idea how selfish what you did was? Do you have any idea how much it hurt? And I couldn’t for the life of me figure out what I had done to…what signals I’d missed…then I talked to Olivia.”
“You did?”
“She told me Kaitlyn had shown up. Knowing that woman like I do, I don’t even need to know what she said to you, but I also feel like you were planning to bolt before she even showed up, am I right?”
“She sort of sealed the deal.” I couldn’t look him in the eye. “But, yes this is a pattern of mine. When things are good, I’m so certain that the bottom is going to drop out, that I pull the rug out myself. Then when she walked in with her own key to your house and implied you guys were still sleeping together…that’s all it took.”
He sat on the couch and raked both hands through his hair again. “Natalie, I have never and will never cheat on you. Kaitlyn is constantly starved for attention, public attention. She hated that I shunned it when I worked for my dad. She hated that I never took advantage of the jets and parties and such that we had access too. I preferred a low-key life, so she slept with Justin, among others. A couple of years ago, we ended up at a function together and got very drunk and ended up in bed together. I suspect for some reason that is when she snagged a key to my house, otherwise I’m at a loss to explain that. Since that night she has kept tabs on me, had an inkling of what might be brewing with me. I thought nothing of it until I got a text from her last week wishing me luck. I didn’t respond and didn’t give it another thought.
“My focus was on the hearings and you and thoughts of a life with you…changing the world with you by my side.”
I stood motionless in the middle of the room. I swallowed hard. “I’m sorry. I didn’t see it as selfish at the time…I saw it as stupid self-preservation.”
“Do you see it now,” he asked.
“I do.”
“Do you trust me?”
“I do.”
“Do you know that I love you?”
“I do,” I couldn’t suppress the grin.
“Do you love me?”
“I do.”
“You have to talk to me, give me, give us, the chance when you feel unsure about things. Do you think you can do that?” he grinned this time.
“I do.”
He stood smiling this time. “How many more times do you think I can get you to say that?”
I shrugged my shoulders as he moved his body to mine.
“Do you think you can forgive me,” I asked.
“I do,” he smiled broadly this time, the fatigue and angst evaporating from his face. He bent and kissed me so softly. And I took the breath I had been holding since I walked out his door.
“Do you still have the rest of the week off?”
“I do,” I giggled.
“Good, let’s spend it naked and discussing how to make that left ring finger a little less naked.”